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WOW [18 Jul 2005|04:20pm] [ music | Love Like...Electrocution ] I'm gay 1 popped my cherry!| rape me

You're so milktoast [24 Mar 2004|03:57pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | The Distillers "I am a Revenant" ] i haven't updated in a while cuz the internet hasn't been working...but, WOW. i think it works now. last weekend, i visited jen at her new home. my dad was extremely skeptical of the whole situation. he was doing everything to kill time even when i told him i wanted to leave. like he just had to put the animal crackers in a plastic container? ha. anyway, jen is a WHOLE lot different. not just physically (her hair was blonder and i noticed how big her ass relly is. HUGE) but, jen is getting taken advantage of with every guy i think. she's gonna get pregnant or get a nasty nasty std. i know it! ha, she would be so unlucky if she got syphilis on her asscrack. ONLY TWO WEEKS AND TWO DAYS UNTIL NORMA FUCKING JEAN!!!! oh yeah, what is up with people writing x before there name. someone told me this one girl signs her name on school papers xjordanx. she thinks she sooo hardcore, but she is secretly milktoast. lol 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

look, its an ice cream truck! [08 Mar 2004|06:42pm] [ mood | chill ] [ music | Sublime "Same in the End" ] i guess im getting used to this seperation. my mom always drives me around...er, she did today and yesturday. we went to my uncles and i was gonna get my hair done, but next weekend. then she offered to take me to borders, so i was like YES! that store is relly kool...they have every book in the world. i was looking at these one books on witchcraft (whoo scary) nah, they were kinda retarded though. then i went to ten car pileup. so many vintage and retro clothes. it was like u were entering another time era. my mom of course was looking for a david cassidy shirt. its weird talking to my mom this much. i always avoided talking too much to my parents, well my dad at least. we talk about her house and stuff. im looking forward to it. THERE IS FLOOR AND PAINTED WALLS! that is too much to ask for because my room now has spackle on the sheetrock walls and the carpet has been torn off and there is this ugly ass rug on my floor. so i was thrilled to see that. jen is definately not as excited as me and refused to bring her friends over there. she has always been closer to my dad, so that's why. random- today i wore my shirt inside out until lunch time which is 12:05. gawd, im retarded oh yes, the show on friday was ok. i didn't like the vfw place. it didn't have a stage and there were so many fuckin chairs everywhere. i was in a weird mood, relly tired. i felt like i wasn't there. nevertheless, the bands were good. dimonds in the rough are definately better than last time. the boys who get naked entertain me. the whole idea of putting on strap ons was grand. hehe. good thing the veterans who were in the bar didn't come in. haha. but it was strange, when it was over me and holly were in search of a phone so we wandered into this room and i first heard folk music, then i peeked my head and saw veterans at the bar. lol. it was a funny site. soooo different from what was happening in the room right nxt to it. i relly hate those stupid emo jackets kids wear now and days. rape me

junk in the trunk [29 Feb 2004|12:09am] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | From Autumn to Ashes "The After Dinner Payback" ] im so glad this week is over. it was shit. jen ran away, then i was interrogated by the cops. everyone seemed mad at me because i told. i couldn't even be looked at in the eye. i regretted telling the cops where she was and i felt like shit. and it was no help with my dad getting on my case every fuckin day and then being in pain from these horrendous braces :(. and then i found out norma jean show wsa cancelled, and then the concert i was gonna go to today, the bands suxed...but good news i get to go to a great show next weekend!!! w00t w0ot- its at VFW in Essex with http://www.farewellhope.com (listen to them!) dimonds in the rough, and same difference. should be fun i got to go to the harbor today to take pictures for photo class. i got some good shots of random things. my favorite shot i took is prolly gonna be the one where i took the barbie doll heads and put them in a valentine candy box. hehe 1 popped my cherry!| rape me

little YAY-YAYS are taking over [25 Feb 2004|06:01pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | Evergreen Terrace "Maniac" ] this week hasn't been that great. jen finally did run away on monday morning. and yesturday when i opened the door around 7 o' clock i saw a police officier. i stared at him dumbfoundly for about 10 seconds because i was lost, but then i looked over and saw jen's aunt standing right next to him. i was kinda in disbelief because i had no idea they'd come this soon. but they started asking me and i really really did not want to tell. but eventually i gave in and just said her first name. they would have found out anyway because they found her letters, and theere was her address written on them anyway. so i didn't really tell too much. i felt guilty all day though. and my dad wouldn't get off my back. he's making me want to run away. but luckilly, i get to see my mom's house this weekend and hopefullly i get to be there more often. w00t, i get to getaway from pops! and also, the NORMA JEAN show got cancelled!!! grrr, i was looking forward to that. but im trying to go to the as i lay dying/everytime i die show in april. and i get to go to a good good show next weekend in essex with farewell hope (im looking forward to them the most), same difference (good punk band) and dimond's in the rough. tickets are only 5 dolars! i also realized this week how not smart i am and i have short term memory loss i think. im failing math and chemistry badly and...gawd, i can't even begin to tell you how stupid i am in those classes. i definately wear the 'dunce' hat. today is my last day with regular teeth. tommorow i get braces (clear that is). but im excited, i relly want to get them on, even though i know i'll be in excruciating pain the following days. 1 popped my cherry!| rape me

haha SYPHILIS! [19 Feb 2004|08:18pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | AFI "I Wanna Get a Mohawk (But Mom Won't let me get one) ] You Should Give Your Ex Syphilis! You dislike your ex, but you don't hate him. As soon as you get revenge, you'll be happy and forget all about this guy. Give him Syphilis and he'll get sores that look like holes with raised edges on his penis. The sores are painless and disappear after a few weeks, but they'll reappear as a rash all over his whole body. Syphilis is completely curable at any stage. What STD Should You Give Your Ex? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva haha, take that u bastard 1 popped my cherry!| rape me

call me Mullet Man? [14 Feb 2004|11:46pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Poison the Well "Apathy is a Cold Body" ] Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque Your Name Superhero Name Mullet Man Super Power Irresistable Sexuality Enemy The Disgruntled Mailman Mode Of Transportation Motorcycle Weapon Frying Pan Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0! i have to go to the thrice/poison the well show in march. it's been distracting me all day. and when i went to ask my dad about it, that's where the problem starts. he...i can't even describe him. he thinks i'm mean. i think he's a porno adict :P. and today i told him i'm deleting all his favorites (we all know what they are) and he actually smiled and said, "what favorites?" u know exactly what im talking about. "yeah, get all that stuff offf there" and i told him how i did last time and he put them right back up. he gave me the bs excuse, "listen, i've had a relly stressful day..." WTF?? u always have "stressful" days. he even told me "i don't know how those favorites got on there" after giving us that honesty speech. gawd, my dad is a douchebag. hmm. i can't help but hate him, i have this image of him in my head every time i look at him, or hear his voice. one night he went insane, it was so fucked up. i was cursing and yelling as loud as i possibly could to stop him. i threw a pilow at him. he still didn't stop. and even worse im related to him. but i really don't think his temper rubbed off on me. i definately can control when i'm mad. jen and michael on the other hand can't. who knows, maybe i have it too and just want to deny it. rape me

pic from the players concert [14 Feb 2004|03:02pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Norma Jean "Face: Face" ] http://theplayersband.hypermart.net/PLAYERSLAYOUT/pics/Recher%20Theatre%208.25.03/jason11.jpg this is a pic off the players website they FINALLY updated. from august. that concert was so great. we were so close. gawd, jason is sexy rape me

"we're punk rock. play some punk rock" [08 Feb 2004|07:47pm] [ mood | i have to urinate ] [ music | A Perfect Circle- "Weak and Powerless" ] the show yesturday was great yesturday. when we first got there some hobo started whoring holly about her liberty spikes, "why yo do that to yo hair shawty?" hehe, kinda creeped us out. the first band was pretty good. i liked there guitarist. i talked to him at best buy today. i had to work up all my courage to do that too. misdirected was my favorite. the lead singer is so neat. he's all short and he was wearing a little kid soccer shirt. i recognized two of there songs. then there was a screamo band. songs were awesome, short but still really energetic. i liked watching the kids hxc dance and i wanted to do it so bad. but im too much of a pussy, gawd i wish i could be a boy and go to shows. me and holly liked watching everyone. laughing, but not pointing or anything. im trying to remember...oh yeah, the next band was more metal but i really liked them. the lead singer was a short fat black guy, he had some strong ass vocal chords. they were prolly the most talented band i think. then gym's band opened up with "we like to party" song. they all looked so happy waving there arms trying to get the crowd pumped. it worked. but the played a few songs. one was kinda cheesy when they were screaming "friends forever" "dimonds forever" i laughed. it was almost over when i see dudley pop up out of nowhere. hehe. anyhoo. i don't want to get too specific. but gay guys are amusing. especially when they say "that's gay!" lol. i almost peed myself. and when he said to some guy, "omg, your lips look exactly like justin timberlakes right now" lol. he was awesome. hmmm....what else happend? oh yesh, me and holly had some good chocolate cookies. i had two. and we were real hungry. and we had this really good drink, i believe it was hard lemonade. oh and in the room i sat on a spoof i think its called. holy hell, did that hurt like a mother. i was rubbing my ass forever and it still hurts anyone up for racing in computer chairs at best buy again? this time i think i can win! 4 popped my cherry!| rape me

who's up for some jesus juice? [03 Feb 2004|11:22pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Red Hot Chili Peppers "SUCK MY KISS" ] i had no idea people were actually gonna read my 100 things about me list. i feel loved :) but thanks to those who read. only FOUR MORE DAYS!! YIPPEE!!! me and holly are going to ten car pileup to see misdirected and sum other bands. not sure what they'll be like. yesturday i ripped my pants. my good pants. gawd, im so mad. now i gotta sew them and all. and today i spilled a whole cup of chocolate milk on me. i just looked at my favorites list and was dissappointed to see 15 porno sites added that i previously took the time to delete. some have titles like: "80 year old daddies brutally fucking their daughters" "CENSORED YOUNGEST PORN" "Fucking Young Virginz!!" "Little Bitches Getting Fucked" "Young Marsha sucking huge dick until her lips teared open" "Youngest Hardcore Action"...jesus fuckin christ. my dad is addicted to this crap. and it makes me cringe how graphic these sound. Words like "brutally fucking" and "sucking huge dick until her lips teared open" make me wanna throw up. welp, im off to bed. hope i give you all something to ponder -peace- 4 popped my cherry!| rape me

don't call me baby [26 Jan 2004|10:48pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | Adam and Dr. Drew on Loveline ] its finally done. the 100 things about me list: 1. I have three freckles in a row on my arm and my inner thig. 2. When I was little, I would cry when the other kids blew out my damn candles and made my mom relight them. 3. In 4th grade, I was strangely attracted to Marilyn Manson. His song, "The Dope Show" really interested me for some reason... 4. First kiss was...gawd, words CAN'T explain how horrible it was. Let's put it this way, if that was what kissing was like, then i never wanted to be kissed again. EVER 5. When I was little, I would pick my nose and put the boogers under the chair. 6. I always feel uncomfortable when I say "I love you" and try to avoid saying it. Only once did someone out of my family say it back to me (Craig doesn't count because he was drunk). And holy hell, did that creep me out. 7. I did karate in 5th grade because I wanted to be like Buffy the vampire slayer. Two douchebags laughed at me. 8. When I was little, romatic scenes turned me on 9. At age 7, some girl told me sex was when the man stuck his penis up a girls butt. i thought it was gross, but still bragged to my parents i knew wut it meant. And I remember saying, "Mom, when I'm 10, will you tell me wut sex is?" I wanted her to go more in detail. 11. In 4th grade, I had the biggest crush on this boy, caleb (along with every girl in my class) because he looked like a hanson boy and he liked no doubt and the movie titanic. 12. I've written a handful of poems, but never had the guts to show them to anyone. But I'll give u a taste. One I called "Accidental Overdose" and it was about me wanted to just O.D on something, because my dad drove me FUCKIN CRAZY and I wanted him to feel like shit when I died. 13. In the summer before 6th grade, my nights consisted of playing flashlight tag with the neighborhood kids. I loved it. 14. My 14th b-day, I got an amplifier and a snazzy new chord. Wow, it was awesome hearing my electric relly loud. 15. I also met my first b/f, Kyle, playing that game. We never did anything. I felt weird. He always put his arm around me. I never even gave him a hug or anything. 16. I always wished I could witness some paranormal activity. lol 17. For halloween in 6th grade, I was a "punk rocker" as my mom said. I didn't really like it. I wore some faded straight leg blue jeans, a white shirt with the collor sticking up, and a jean vest. Oh yeah, can't forget the sparkly red-orange David Bowie like hair, I hated that wig. Some one thought i was a country singer. lol 18. My dad filmed home videos with me and jen in a bathtub in disney world playing with our toys and he made us stand up. odd, i'll have to watch that one again 19. Mental insitutions and penitencherys(sp?) intrigue me. 20. Muppets and Cabage Patch kids scare me still. 21. I learned how to type fast this year. average is prolly 50 gwam 22. My mom told me to steal a jolly rancher so she wouldn't have to buy it. 23. My new year of 2004 consisted of watching boys do bong hits...i spilt some of the pot on the floor, they got mad. 24. My ass hurts right now. 25. I shave my cooch, legs, armpits, and occasionally my arms. 26. I got my period when I was 11 and I was at Target buying school supplies. Gawd, I was so mad. There was a shitload of blood in my panties. I wanted to cry. 27. When nobodys home, I use the karoke machine and put on bright red lipstick. 28. I found a porno mag in my dad's nightstand jore. I was 12 and was scarred for months. 29. I always picture what people's sex life is like, like my teachers. Sometimes I just quiver because my images are so vivid in my head. 30. On the last day of school, senior year. I want to drive away in my yellow muscle car playing Alice Cooper's "Schools Out." And on my eighteenth b-day, the first song I want to hear that day is "Eighteen" also by alice cooper. 31. I'm a virgin, and I think I'm kinda scarred to let anyone be that close to me. 32. I had a dream in 4th grade me and Leonardo DiCaprio went to Weis and were trying to buy ice cream, but we ran into a handful and long story short, we never got the ice cream. 33. I used to wanna fuck Greg Brady (the high school years) 34. I was a mean little girl. I remember I told my mom that I hated her and wanted a new mommy. She cried. 35. I had a bad case of depression. and it will prolly come back in the future. It was so bad at times. I got mad because my mom would never take action and get me help. I just had to help myself. 36. My first aol s/n was MusicFan402 or something. yeah... 37. Me and my old neighbor Lauren pooped in the baby pool when we were 5, that was in my basement one time. My mom got mad and had to clean it up. 38. My neighbor Rachel made me sit in the bathtub while she pooped, so we could talk. Gawd, the girl could stink up a bathroom. 39. Me and Rachel once put on a show for 4 kids or something in my garage lip-singing Mary-Kate and Ashley songs. I remember an adult came and watched us. I was relly embarassed. 40. I used to wanna be a choregrapher. I would teach Heather and Jen Britney Spears dance moves and make them perform it with me. 41. In 7th grade, me, heather, and jen were gonna do the talent show and dance to a nsynce song. THANKFULLY, we never finished making the routine up. gawd...that was GAY. 42. I say the word "gay" too much. I don't know why. I gotta watch saying that word around gay people though. 43. I think I've been on the carousel at the mall a total of two times in my life. 44. In 7th grade, I was fat. I had a bowl of ice cream every night. I would go in my room and eat it while I watched "Freaks and Geeks"...gawd, that show was great. 45. In 8th grade, I wanted to lose weight. I started doing exercise tapes. I didn't lose too much. I still ate normally. I remember crying because it wasn't working, I wanted to take a diet pill. Later, in the end of March. I discover this new thing called "Slim Fast" hmm...your supposed to replace it with two of your meals, and eat a healthy dinner. At first I slacked a little. Then April 1, 2002 I started doing it right. I started to lose weight. I felt better. But in my head, I thought, if I eat something small instead of taking a slim fast, I'll lost weight faster. I wrote down what I ate. I became obsessed. I really was. I would go to the library and get books and books on weight loss and calories. I used to document every calorie i ate. I remeber multiplying the number of pretzels i ate by the total fat grams. Pathetic. For a while, I would have 2 or three strawberries for breakfast, a plain tuna sandwich for lunch, then a slim fast for dinner. And an hour of Tae Bo afterwards, or a sit up video. My mom started making me eat more. I had rice cakes before i had my usual dinner slim fast. I remember one day, I did an hour of Tae Bo, and then a 50 minute cardio video. Then I rode my bike. It was alot. I was 92 pounds at my thinest. I felt like if I just lost more weight, I'd be happier. Luckily, I've didn't lose anymore weight. I started eating normally in about July. I was upset because I had absolutely no tits. I didn't get my period for months. 46. My dad calls boobs "busems" 47. I never feel like Im good enough. 48. "Parent's just don't understand"-Will Smith 49. Love spelled backwards is EVOL, hmmm...makes you think. 50. I can't see myself having a big fancy wedding. I'd rather elope in Vegas or something fast. Definately, walking down the aisle solo. I decided I didn't want my dad to walk me down the aisle when I was 12. 51. I can do a split both ways and make good pancakes. 52. One day, Im gonna streak 53. I don't have a "greatest accomplishment" so far. 54. I still wish I could morphe myself into liquid like Alex Mack. Just imagine the possiblities... 55. The worst way to die is to die feeling guilty, also drowning is really scary. 56. I really hate valentine's day. 57. I bought lunch prolly 4 times in my whole life. In kindergarden, I had pizza. oooo, that was good. but, im more of a "brown-bagger" 58. I had a dream that my mom shot me and I died. I can still remember that feeling. I also had a dream that my 6 year old brother did herion, and I got married to a girl. 59. Boobie Tassles look neat. 60. One of my goals is to learn how to read tarot cards and learn the moonwalk. 61. My belly button is more of an inny now, holly says. It used to be an outie. Im glad. I hated having an outie. 62. I wish my name was Elliot. 63. My thong hangs out too much. 64. "i don't do drugs, i AM drugs"-salvador dali 65. I really love the song, "Colorblind" by counting crows. it makes me feel happy, like im dreaming. I had that cd from the library one time, and remember listening ot it every night. its a good song to have sex to. calm sex that is. 66. I want to write for a magazine..bad. 67. My cooch itches right now. 68. I'd have to say I'm pretty good at collages. 69. I made my brother eat coffee grinds once just because I was bored. He puked it up an second afterwards. I gave him a piece of gum and a quarter as a reward. 70. One time, I was at the mall and my tooth came out. I felt swishy stuff in my mouth, so I spit it out on a napkin, and it was blood. So I was panicing and had blood all over my hands as I ran to the bathroom. 71. I tripped up the bus steps in the morning. Gawd, that was embarassing, my shoe even fell off. *sighs* 72. I wouldn't mind making out with a girl, to see what its like. 73. I spend too much time on facethejury.com. Its so addicting though. Me and Holly have both made out with people from there *high5s* 74. I have soft lips I think because I use so much vaseline. 75. I always wanted to move to a new place where no one knows me and I could just start over. 76. When I break the wishbone with someone, and I don't win, that pisses me off. But the last two times I've won. 77. I have a fear of being rejected, especially by guys. 78. I never really like playing the clarinet, even though I did it for four years. I wanted to play drums. 79. I enjoy when other couples break up for some reason. 80. One day, when me and Jen are married, we're gonna be on Family Feud. 81. The scent of nursing homes makes my stomach turn. And everywhere I look I feel like the old people are just gonna keel over and die right there. 82. Im extremely scarred to get old and have wrinkles. I don't even know if I wanna live that long. 83. Last year, me and Jen would spend hours on end playing the Sims game. 84. I wanna make a voodoo doll of the jerkoff who used me. *evil grin* 85. I can play atreyu's "lip gloss and black" solo. 86. The story I wrote for english class was called "Five Fingers and a Bloody Knife." Its about this 15-year old kid, Johnny who gets accused for the murder of his mother. But, really his father, Simon killed her because she cheated on him. There is a grain of truth in that story. 87. Me and Jen got into a physical fight a couple times, and one of those times it was that I wouldn't give her a piece of paper. I told you I'm mean. 88. When I was 6, the only reason I would watch "Who framed Roger Rabbit?" was so I could see the sexy seductress, Jessica ( ya know the one who wore that red dress with the high slit in it?) 89. Jen was born in this year. I think I would be a completely different person if she were never born. I would prolly be a spoiled brat, and extremely greedy and mean. 90. In second grade I saw this kid Ronnie through up spaghetti. I still remember that smell. And in first grade, I saw someone thow up on their reading book. and one kid peed his pants while he was sitting in his chair. lol, good times 91. I would never let anybody suck my toes, nor would I do it to them.nasty 92. I wanna learn how to cha-cha or ballroom dance. 93. Is there such thing as cartoon porn? hehe, seems interesting 94. I wanna get a tattoo above my cooch of Jessica Rabbit. 95. My glass is half empty. 96. I liked boys at an early age, prolly 5 I would chase my neighbor Timmy around his backyard trying to kiss him. Never did though, he ran too fast. 97. The guy who dressed up as Barney for my 5th b-day didn't talk. The boys pulled on his tail. It was funny I remember. 98. My baby blanket with the fuzz balls I constantly pick off is gonna be my family airlome, or it'll go in my casket when I die. 99. I hope I find happiness when I get out of this house. I really think I will though. Just the fact that I get to be on my own, and not have the people around who drive me crazy. 100. Gawd, this took a long time to write. I'm not real sure what is showing when you read this. I just thought I'd appear more interesting telling everyone stupid stories like how I pooped in a baby pool in my basement...hehe 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

good deed of the day [14 Jan 2004|07:35am] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Atreyu "Deane the Arsonist" ] welp, i got my kiloid off yestuday. it still is kinda purple now and achy. when i got there, i went into the bathroom and did my business, then out of nowhere i hear "SON OF A BITCH!"...hmm, i hold in my laughter and see a walker in the stall next to me. then i hear a voice say, "exuse me, do u think you could help me?" my face was blank. but i said ok. it took her a couple seconds to unlock the door, then i had to help her get off the toliet. man, she was fuckin heavy. i was pulling as hard as i could and she didn't budge. but i got her up adventually. then she said, "i can pull up my own pants." and, no i did not see any old wrinkly vaginas. the injections in my ear hurt like a mother, but after it was numbed i was okay. my doctor was humming along to avril and phil collins on the radio. i also learned a couple days ago that the milkshake song is talking about cum. nasty nasty rap music. oh yes, i got my andy dick dvds. gawd, they are so good. its got a lot of episodes i've never seen like yam chips, and the one with daphne aguilera and jason biggs, and prolly a lot more i haven't watched yet. im still laughing over the "third hand smoke" one. lol. i love it 1 popped my cherry!| rape me

"Hon, you look different without your heels on" [10 Jan 2004|02:32pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Descendents "This Place" ] A couple nights ago i had a weird dream. i got married to a girl. she was about 4'8, halle berry look-a-like, really curly black hair that was constantly in her face. i dont remember kissing her or anything like that. we were at a chapel i think. and we danced at our wedding. and i remember telling her 'hon, you look different without ur heels on"...wtf?? and she was all close to me and all. it felt really odd. im not a lesbian though. Dream Dictionary said: Homosexual: Union or fear of union with aspects of self. Passion. If, in your dream, you are not comfortable with homosexuality, then it suggests some fears/anxieties about your masculinity (if you are male) and femininity (if you are female). You may be experiencing some insecurity in your relations with the opposite sex. Marriage: You are ready to join or commit yourself to a cause. Joy without a profit. You will undergo an important developmental transitional phase. It may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. hmm...kinda makes sense. 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

any takers?? [08 Jan 2004|08:17am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | distillers "for tonight you're only" ] Friday January 23, 2004 8:00pm $8/13 ALL AGES Recher Theatre 512 York Road Towson, MD 21204 410-337-7178 SKA MOB TOUR 2004: DR. RING DING King Django Eastern Standard Time The Players i know i've seen the players 3 times already, but there so good! and est has a booty shaking singer :) haven't heard of the other 2 bands though oh yeah, MILO from descendents added me to his friendster list! woohoo. i feel loved 5 popped my cherry!| rape me

rock bottom [02 Jan 2004|08:27pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | The Verve "Bittersweet Symphony" ] i feel like shit. i can't even eat. which is really odd. i took a walk/run 2 hours ago to attempt to clear my head. i don't know if it helped. gawd, i wish i could go back in time. just this once. i really hate boys. all they wanna do is fuck with your head, get under your clothes, then leave you with a fucked up head. i don't think i have laughed or smiled today. im going to sleep 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

lets eat some MUSHROOMS AND HAVE PROMSCUOUS SEX!!! [31 Dec 2003|08:44am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Sublime "Date Rape" ] SOLD OUT SOLD OUT SOLD OUT yeah...that was what the sign said when we got at Fletcher's last night. gawd. it just had to happend again. and we were so excited and all. plus we had to listen to my dad's "speech" in the car with things like "DON'T EAT MUSHROOMS!!!" "DON'T BUY DRUGS!!" "DON'T LEAVE WITH ANYBODY"...what a gay. my dad must think their is like a "mushroom stand" out in the open or something. lol. well, im not just gonna sit here and bitch and complain about how upset we were. so we walked down to soundgarden( an awesome record store with vintage posters everywhere and it just looks neat). cds are pretty cheap there, i got 40oz to freedom for only 12 bucks. they had a cheap subhumans one 2. after that i call my mom and my dad came about 30 minutes later. we froze our heineys off. stupid me, i was wearing a thong so i was double cold. i thought my ass cheeks were gonna freeze together. we saw a whole bunch of girls wearing skimpy clothes and all. who the fuck wears a spaghetti strap shirt when its fucking 30 degrees out. douchebag. then these other girls lost their tickets or something so there plan was "Let's try to look really hott, so they'll let us in!" ha, didn't work. one was fat and had a big badunkadunk(is that spelled right?) 3 popped my cherry!| rape me

"I WANNA DANCE" [25 Dec 2003|08:23pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Atreyu "Lip Gloss and Black" ] i am bored. i need to find something to do quickly. so i'll do this first. i went to the mall tuesday to finish x-mas shopping and poop. and i saw chris there. it was weird cuz i saw his shirt at first and i was thinking 'hmm..nobody else has that shirt. could it be chris?' then i lost track and kept looking around. i never got a good look or anything, but he looked purty cute from what i saw. then on x-mas eve, i gots me picture with santa. woohoo. nah, the santa at the mall looked like he took gray spray paint and sprayed it on his head. what a douche. i told him i wanted a 96 box of crayons. mike didn't talk to him. actually he never does, he looked constipated. lol. i laughed. today, i was awakened around 8 or so. heh, not by a whistle though. mike humped me so i got up quickly. i got a kik- a guitar pedal (metal zone by boss) sounds like black flag a little and thrice. i like it. :) also i got almost famous, nofx-war on errosim, black flag-first four years, brushes, stickers, a stereo, slippers, guitar stand, candy...ew, and my dad bought me this pack of granny pannies. shall return them soon. oh yes, 100 bucks! wootie. plus i got another 110 or so from family. when everyone was at church, i turned up my stereo and i danced like a monkey on crack. ooo, that was great. and my guitar was blasted as well. my uncles house was weird. i had to go in and do the whole hugging thing and "oh, merrry christmas!" im not a grinch, but its just awkward. i brought my headphones though and slept on a comfy couch. my uncles "friend" has a really silly laugh. its the "i know im gay and i show it" type laugh. so silly. yes, im writing alot. told u im bored. "sic transit gloria" is an awesome song. thanks holly. everybody listen to it. its by brand new. also "lip gloss and black" by atreyu and "im out like a belly button"...i always wanted to say that 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

HOW TO WIPE YOURSELF [20 Dec 2003|09:16pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Black Flag-"Nervous Breakdown" ] i've learned i do absolutely nothing w/o the computer except color and play guitar. im such a geek and i accept that. i was awakened purty early this morning around 9:15 to get ready to watch brandon and corey ( the kids from hell who have ADHD). plus they have a dog named "skippy" who would not part from humping my leg for the first two hours. i had to read 3 fuckin dr.seuss books. they are relly long man. but the little one corey at one point was upstairs pooping and i was coloring downstairs and i kept hearing him say, "i gotta poopy" except his words were all slurred and jibberish like. for the first 10 minutes i ignored him. then i decided to go up and he's on the toliet and says, "i gotta poopy." so go, i say. "ok". i think he meant wipe him cuz he pointed to his ass. "can't u do it urself?" i say. so i teach him how to wipe himself. only he used too much paper and didn't even wipe. he prolly didn't even touch his butt. oh well...yeah, then i went to guitar center and played sum pedals. im gonna get this one called "metal zone" its basically heavy distortion. kool. about 30 minutes ago i was talkin to this one guy from ftj and he wanted me to call him later around 10:00. he gave me his number and all. plus he invited me to a party his friends having in january. i dunno...i get weird about calling strangers.i mean hes really hot. his s/n on ftj is thefatsjake if yo wanna see. 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

Lite Brite Pegs hurt relly bad [16 Dec 2003|07:27am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | The Distillers "City of Angels" ] finally this mother trucker is working. yeah, this weekend blew. I realized how crazy I will become if I'm around my dad all weekend long. 24 fuckin 7. Especially when he's trying to get me in the "christmas spirit." plus he wouldn't even let me scoop my own mashed potatoes. what a pansy. anyhoo, i had a weird dream a while ago too. i drempt i was in my kitchen with a whole bunch of people and then the boys decided to go upstairs cuz they were annoying us. so i get suspicious and go up 3 ladders to get to my room. i see a 13 year old boy laying on my bed seductively. i was so pissed cuz he threw my 3 pins on the floor and i couldn't find them. then he tried to rape me. i looked at the ceiling and saw directions saying how to rape me. so i hit him. then he throws lite brite pegs at me. im not talkin like one or two. like hundreds of them. and they hurt so bad. he also threw crumpled up band stickers at me. i laughed at him. but i was still mad. 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

The Kids Aren't Alright [12 Dec 2003|07:27am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | sound of fans blowing ] This morning was relly weird. My mom is usually downstairs with the hair dryer on high speed, so it wakes me up. Also when she burns the popcorn for her lunch is a smell im used to. It was real quiet this morning. I didn't really like it. Gawd, Im such a fuckin pansy. I need to just get over it and stop my fuckin whinning and complaining. So i had the downstairs to myself. Haven't had that in a while. heh, I watched the new adventures of winnie the pooh. I learned piglet is a boy. then,in the morning my buddy jen wasn't here, so I decided to come here and write this. doesn't matter, im not really in the mood to talk about her b/f mike and all. my dad is such a gay. he's definately trying to get on my good side and be all buddy buddy with me. ha! no, its a little to that. i've heard too much from his fuckin mouth. in better news, i get to chill over hollys house next weekend! wootie woot woo! should be great. its always fun over there. plus, i need to just chill out and have fun. 2 popped my cherry!| rape me

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