i wanted to write about how i feel right now in my diaryland diary, but i think mark & the rest of my friends are sick of hearing about it. over & over & over. it's so dumb, i can't help it. i started thinking about clark around 11:30 this morning, on the 40th offramp into yakima, and have continued since then. i wish i could take everything i feel and combine it into one little sentence, but it's just not that easy for me anymore. i remembered how i wondered what he thought of my town when we got off that exit; and how i kissed him & showed him things i thought were important. i was saying, hey this is my life here, i want to share it with you. how that very first day, we went and saw "the ring" at mayra's house, & shan was the only person there that we knew, because kayla was on house arrest and kristine wasn't there yet. i wore my favorite jeans that day, the flares written all over with pointless stuff. how we went and picked up tyler & alyssa, and then went to the mall so you could get your hair cut. i ran my hand through your hair & told you how good it looked on you. i let you drive my mom's car a few times, and kept expecting you to know where to go, leaving you making fun of me for forgetting. blah. stupid little memories. i'd almost repressed them all.

hmm. so i'm going to the library with kristine, and mark should be back within a half hour or so. i miss him so much, blah. two days and already i'm fading away.. heard that in a song somewhere. or perhaps it's 3 days?
anyways, i went to an optional bowling practice this morning.. i was half asleep and still bowled shitty. gahh! i get so bored with the girls on my team, they're mostly freshman or sophs so i don't even KNOW them. but, i guess it's alright, making new friends is always a good thing.
i asked jon to take me to one of his friends' party things. i figure i can make some new friends that way, too. i already know jon and roxanne (although, like i said before, she doesnt like me) but maybe i can become friends with oscar and jacob and anyone else too. i tried once to talk to ..justin i think? and he was just totally mean. i don't get it. i was only trying to be friendly..
sometimes it seems like the fact that i'm perfectly willing to open myself up to people gets completely thrown back in my face. i know i sometimes come off as obnoxious or overzealous but it's cause i get excited, lol. :) blah.. anyways.. if any of jon's friends happen to take a look here, just know i think you guys are cool.
im wearing one of my favorite t-shirts- thursday, woop. good days are ahead, i have to hope.

yay, i have a blurty now, that i can write in. this place is just like deadjournal, yet, better, because i didn't have to get a fucking CODE to have a journal. score.
my niece is laying on the floor, screaming. as usual. and my nephew is being spoiled, as usual. damn i get sick of this shit, every single time we have them over. it can't just be peaceful, they've gotta be loud and annoying and they never stop. mark is supposed to use his parents' cell phone to call me, but, there's been no ring-age yet. puh, i bet he couldn't get it.
so i only know jon and roxanne who write on here. although roxanne doesn't like me, (she avoids me all the time, when i try to hang out with her) and jon is cool. very nice guy. funny. people take his kindness for granted.