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stephanie

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[07 Oct 2005|02:02pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Dear Mrs.Wilson:
Honey I love you and I miss you so much. When i feel down,depressed, or feel lonely, I long for your tender touch you holding me close. I am fascinated by your wonderful charming personality and the way you laugh and smile. Your beautiful face hang around my mind everyday. I wish I could hold you close. You are the most charming and the most beautiful woman ever. I stare at you in class when you not looking. I wish you are not my professor, i wish you are not married. I'm so confused about your feeling toward me. Your attitude toward me confused me. Why didn't you ever mention how you feel about me? I want desperatly wanna to please you, to make you notice me, make you proud of me. I can't get you off my mind. When I close my eyes, all i see is your beautiful face smiling at me. You are gorgeous in my eyes. Oh honey my baby girl. I love you, I care about you, I worry about you when you are not ok. You are my everything, my only true love. You mean the world to me. I feel comfortable to talk to you, you are so understanding and you totally take my breath away when you smile at me or look at me with your beautiful tender eyes. You drive me crazy when i think about you. Sometime I get really sad because I miss you so much. It upset me when I know you are married and have a family. I am jealous of you sometime because I care about you and love you

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Dear Agnes: [20 Aug 2005|03:20pm]
Honey. You are still in my mind every single day. I think about you and dream about you every night. I dream about you that you and me are dating and you took my out and we become steady girlfriend. I long to kiss you and have you hold me close in your arms. I long to lean on your shoulder when i am crying and long to have you wipe away my tears. Since you been gone, nothing is the same anymore. I am depressed really depressed. I cry for you nonstop at night. I really miss you. Oh honey. I love you. Don't you know? I care about you. And I wonder have you ever think about me? Will you still remember me if we see ecahother on the street? Sigh, I love you so much.
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[11 Jun 2005|02:43pm]
[ mood | agnes-honey i miss you so much ]
[ music | Gwen Stefani-Holla back girl ]

Hi. My name is Stephenie. Here is a poem I wrote to my crush-my therapist:

Honey
Don't you realized that
when you sleep next to your man
I am laid awake at night
crying

I long to kiss you
to hold you
to feel close to you

I miss you
I long for you
when i cry
I long for you to wipe way the tear
to comfort me

Honey
now you are leaving me
you leaving my life
I love you
i honestly love you
i truely in love with you
But don't you realized that?
Don't you!?

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[11 Jun 2005|02:26pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Honey
Don't you realized that
when you sleep next to your man
I am laid awake at night
crying

I long to kiss you
to hold you
to feel close to you

I miss you
I long for you
when i cry
I long for you to wipe way the tear
to comfort me

Honey
now you are leaving me
you leaving my life
I love you
i honestly love you
i truely in love with you
But don't you realized that?
Don't you!?

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Dear Agnes [07 Apr 2005|11:32am]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Fabulous-Gangsta ]

Dear Agnes:
How are you doing my darling and my pretty honey?
What are you doing now? Right now I am sitting in front of a computer writing a letter to you. Every single word I type represent my love to you. You are a really beautiful woman. You turn me on with your beautiful and sexy smiling face. I want to hold you and kiss you tenderly. You are in my mind every single day and night. 24/7/365.
No matter what I am doing, you are in my mind. I don't know what to do without you. Life is not worthy to me anymore without you. Please don't leave me. You have the sexiest body ever. I just want to hold you close in my arms never let go. I can treat you nice just like your husband do. I will make you happy and really good.

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[04 Mar 2005|01:52pm]
[ mood | agnes you are fucking hot!!! ]

I am so confused now! What should i do? SIGH! Confused as hell! Do i really like Agnes? We only met eachother for one day. But i think she is darn hot. Love her dark brown curly hair that hang on her shoulder. She is so hot. I think she is FINE. OMG- you are super hot! Agnes you are hot!

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Top 10 reason that i love about Agnes [02 Mar 2005|05:56pm]
[ music | True is-Frantasia. ]

She is so FINE
2. she is rich
3. she is so smart
4. she is so pretty
5. she has the most gorgeous smiling face ever
6. she took my breath away
7. she has the most good education
8. she is so nice
9. she is the most sexy woman ever.
10. she is so awesome

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[25 Feb 2005|05:02pm]
[ mood | FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER, GO FUCK! ]
[ music | Gwen Stefani-what you waiting for ]

Today is another fucking goddamn bad day! Fucking selfish monster mess up the day! Fuck you. go fuck
yourself. You fucking retard looking boy! Go screw yourself. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. Selfish motherfucker.

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[23 Feb 2005|07:57pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

once upon a time
there is a girl
alone in her own world

She put on a fake smile face
people see and think she is a cheerful girl

when she is alone
she cry her sorrow out

She find no comfort in her world
she feel insecure
she feel only sadness

No one in her world understand her struggling
She fake her smile face in order to please them.
To numb her pain
To forgot her pain.

Once upon a time.

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Just my thinking . [18 Feb 2005|07:19pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | TV ]

Dear Journal:
Thanks you for taking your time to listen to me here. You are loyal and patient with me. I really have a lot of stuff to get off my chest. They are really bothing me a lot.
Especially love. Dear lovely, royal journal, when i realized that i have falling in love with that wonderful woman, it bothing me a lot.
She occupy every single spaces in my heart and mind. I couldn't sleep well at night. I cry for her, I long for her to hold me close, comfort me. I miss her a lot. She make my life up and down. I think about her all the time. When i hear love song on the rideo, i think about her. I daydream that we hold eachother close in a stary night, I laid my head on your shoulder, you wrap your arm around me. I wish she could be my woman. I love her so bad. Day with her is getting limited for us. I don't know what to do anymore without her. Help me!

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My PD test result. [18 Feb 2005|06:33pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | commericial ]

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

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Hi [17 Feb 2005|05:09pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | 1-2 steps ]

Hi. I am new here. Just to say hi to everyone here!

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