"you're like a breathe of fresh air." anonymous   
09:50pm 13/09/2003
mood: numb
music: the faint - casual sex
so yea not much goin on. just hangin around the home...being bored...slacking off...waiting about...meow. so how's the lives of all you lucky people? eh...me...eh. i love babies. not much left to say just thought i'd let you all know i was still alive lol. well imoff....im bored...just ask yourself...casual sex is it irrational??? *i heart the faint*
"won't you hold me, make believe that you don't loathe me." - rainer maria   
10:59pm 07/09/2003
mood: calm
music: rainer maria
ugh...school...ugh. yea im tired and bored. kinda wanting to talk to a certain superhero. waiting around i guess you could say. it's funny...how things turn out. first you know of someone, then you meet them, and for a while you can't stand that person. and then...give it time...and you're fucking stuck to them. i guess there is a thin line between love and hate. so i've been reading this book...its by chuck palahniuk (sry if thats a typo). its great. lullaby. great book. i plan to read invisibl monsters next. yea...so i hate x-boyfriends...cos they suck. lol. i dunno. just teen-midget-angst. i just hate feeling like i was lied to for a long period of time. and knowing that i shouldn't of believed a bit of it...i believed anyway. and now i doubt superheros. and it sucx. lol. as insane as that sounds...some people will understand. i dunno i guess i believe....but part of me's just scared....grrr...i hate feeling this way. well nite
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"and you already love her" (rainer maria)   
10:44pm 06/09/2003
mood: happy
music: ears ring - rainer maria
hey people! how's that crazy thing called life treatin you?!? just got back from hangin out with friends. it was fun. started school again. ok i guess. umm....got a new belt! lol. hot pink 2row studded. umm not much has happened. sigh. just tired. miss someone. miss 2 people actually. gonna go chat with a friend. hugs and baby mice are fun. lol. bye
"now you're doing the waltz with your murderer." (norma jean)   
11:44pm 31/08/2003
mood: giggly
music: norma jean
missing the bat boy. last day at work. smoked some serious kine bud....merci ian. ^.^ had a pb&j sandwich that ruled. lol. said goodbye one last time.
"im batman" (a certain batboy)   
06:11pm 28/08/2003
mood: devious
music: tricky - she makes me wanna die
so how are all u people???? maggie's chillaxin, in the words of jeffy-poo. hehehe. anywho. so ive been hangin around all day =( bored little maggie. yup yup. trying to get a little fucked up and do fucked up things tonite. lol. "yea we like gettin fucked up and doin some fucked up things." love that movie. my sister gave me this really cute tight shirt today. its pink and says "bombshell bowling" its one of those phony vintage shirts..but its cute. ^.^ soooo sex fiends...who's fuckin who these days? me? at the moment im fucking no one. wahoo! lol.i have absolutely nothing to say..."power corrupts. absolute power corrupts absolutely." chuck palahnuik is a great writer...at the moment im reading lullyby..or whoever its spelled. ^.^ great so far. hehe.. okie im done. tu-ta-lu!
"you don't see me at all." (a.p.c)   
10:06pm 27/08/2003
mood: high
music: a perfect circle - 3 libras
nothing like maynard's voice after a nice shower. ^.^ hehe. so how are all you druggie, partying, sex driven people? me? i'm doing alot better. i failed my permit test today. i got 7 wrong. -.- but im not alone cos so did johnny viz! hehe he's soo cool. hehe. i saw him, ed, and adam tonite! oh so happy. i missed them alot! so im almost done working at that shit dominos. waaaahooo!!!! so so so happy. hheheh. yes. and um..i like babies? duh! i wanted to smoke tonite but that didnt go quite as planned. -.- thats ok though! i talked to katie hewko today. yea...had a good ol chat. i miss my clockwork orange. damn that fucking kid. grrrrr. i hate when people hold on to my shit for to long. grrrr. well not much left to say except..."i'm quite a fan of a bit of the ol in and out." and i suggest you all ask yourselves...are you a fan? lmao.
"creating something out of nothing only to destroy it." (norma jean)   
09:23pm 18/08/2003
mood: enraged
music: norma jean - face : face
shannon this one is for you and you only. hunny, you are absolutely and positively DEAD to me. you're nothing to me. and i'm not saying this to get a reaction out of you or whatever the fuck you think tis maybe...i'm letting you know. i never thought you'd tell my fucking business to other people. yea well i'll keep your little secrets safe...but you're dead in my eyes. as for you ashley...don't act so fucking righteous...you tend to forget the times you fucked shannon over. and i could careless if you like me either...i'm not here for you to like me..you're shit to me. yes shannon we are done. oh and me acting this way has nothing to do with rob and me breaking up. so, you really must be pathetic if you have to drag in things that have nothing to do with the problem at hand. so now you can both fuck of and die...wait, no, you can't, you're already dead!
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"no i'm not! i'm batman!" (inside joke)   
07:53pm 17/08/2003
mood: chipper
music: marilyn manson - redeemer, rock-n-roll nigger
indeed i am batman! actually no but i called batman last nite...or boy formerly known as batman...yes. anywho. cheri's here. cheri...say hi...heeey. she said heeeey. yup yup. i like babies. we jumped on my tramp-o-lean. lol.and it rocked like no other. mmmmhmmmm. i like chinese. we had chinese today. it was fun. and i got cool chit at valmart....excuse the accent. dammit thats enough of this song...ok this is good enough. yawn. im tired. meow. i fell asleep while watching a movie with cheri and i felt like a jerk. i also almost killed cheri with a shopping cart. lol. lamps are fucking awesome. ohhh yea. anywho time to play barbies w/ cheri. waaahooo for barbies. lol. yea...barbies rock it.
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"hello, i've waited here for you, everlong." (foo fighters)   
09:12pm 16/08/2003
mood: blah
music: everlong - foo fighters
work sucks. ugh. so tired. dont even know why im doing this. its not gonna say shit. oh well fuck it. i heart sweaters. guys for my b-day get me sweaters. like granny sweaters. ^.^ feeling like...blah. ugh. fucking...goddammit. thank god for the word fuck.
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"crazy like a fox!!!" (cheri)   
11:46am 16/08/2003
mood: groggy
music: fiona apple - across the universe
yea....i've noticed im quite the person round here. hmm..as for one of the responses to one of my enteries...and im not gonna name names cos you know who you are...if you stating that ur moving and that i wont "have to see your face in school everyday", was some sort of way to make me feel bad...it didn't work. plus remember you always have ashley. she's practically the most important friend to you..and the most fucked up and everyone knows it. so if you stay...stay for her. i wouldn't really hate if you stayed. just we're basically done as friends. not becos of that stupid fight, becos you choose to mold yourself into someone i cant fucking stand...someone thats caused you alot of fucking problems....but oh she never stood me up, shes always been there...etc etc etc. and everyone knows that the more you're around her...the more you are her. and im sorry but when i met you..you weren't like that. and when certain people told you, that you've changd..we meant it. "just put it this way"...now you've got more time for ashley. when you realize you're not her then call me.

in other news...well there isnt other news. i almost got into a fight at work. im gonna go get my permit on thurs. umm....i smoked yesterday at work..umm...im going to the mall for school crap on monday...umm...hmmm..and jeffy introduced me to some awesome bands. ^.^ oh so content maggie. yea life's moving slowly. but uh yea..babies are cute and when they aren't it makes me sad....like a fox ??
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"i am covered in skin, no one gets to come in, pull me out from inside." (color blind)   
09:56pm 13/08/2003
mood: melancholy
sigh. so tired. working sucx. yea. well after almost 15 months, me and bob are done. *sigh* i havent felt this kind of pain in so long. but after thinking it over....i realized...somethings have to wait to be fixed...if not then they're gonna explode and then ur more fucked then u were in the first place. becos then its never gonna be fixed. so i figured...give it time... and then maybe things can try to be fixed. ^.^ that'd be nice. all my friends and my mum have been trying to make me feel better about the situation. they keep saying that i'll be ok, that things will be ok. i sort of believe it. but after spending so much time and putting so much emotion into something...just for it to end...you kinda lose faith in things "being ok". but...sigh. i have alot of things that have to get done. and i guess that will help me forget the terrible ending to something so great. but then there's alway the night time where i cant sleep and i get so lonely...and i think. sigh. thats what i dread. but this is life...these things happen...and i just have to take it. as long as i have my mum and friends like cher-bear and jeffy and such...i should be ok. sigh. i hate it though. everything i look at reminds me of him. and theres certain movies i cant watch and songs i cant hear and books i cant read...and it hurts. but...sigh.

in other news....school's starting soon....and i want to scream. =( i have to get up at like 6 am. WTF! thats pure insanity. but oh well. umm going to the mall monday, movies sunday, getting cool shit for my room saturday. ohh yea. lol. so that kinda makes me content. ^.^ yea. ummm...hmmm...i cant really think of much. talked to my cher-bear today. ^.^ that made me happy. cheri's one of my best friends and i love her to death. she's one of the nicest and coolest chics to ever live. if u need money or a ride or help somehow.....anyhow really...she's there. and that makes her genuine. and i love her for it. and she's one of the smartest people i've ever met. she's got so much info in that head of hers...its so cool. she's definetly gonna grow up to be someone very important one day and i can't fuckin wait to see it. ^.^ she deserves all the happiness possible and i'll do what i can to provide it and hope she gets it. i love you cher-bear. ^.^ well...enough sweet stuff....time for HATEBREED! gotta love em. lol....meow. -.- ^_^ o.0 0.o *.* O.O O_O @.@....the multiple maggie expressions.
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"goodbye sunshine, i've put it out again, sad." (mudvayne)   
10:31am 09/08/2003
mood: depressed
music: spiders - s.o.a.d
choking back tears at like 10:30 in the morning sucks. it hurts too. i hate that horrible feeling you get in your thoart. i hate argueeing with my mom over the samethings all the fucking time. if it's not about my job, then it's about bob. and i'm fucking tired. maybe if i go back to just being alone in my room, isolateing myself like some abused puppy, turning away from everyone and everything. then...just then...maybe she'll be happy. a few weeks ago i tried to kill myself and i regret it not working. i should of tried harder. fucking idiot. but i guess i'm willing to do whatever i have to, to make my mum happy. "i need to find a darkened corner, a lightless corner, where it's safer and calmer.." mudvayne's good shit. im tired of having to prove myself. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU FOR THE PRESSURE! FUCK YOU FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING! FUCK YOU FOR NOT BEING THERE! FUCK YOU FOR ALWAYS POINTING THE FINGER AT SOMEONE ELSE! FUCK YOU FOR PUTTING THE GODDAM WEIGHT ON MY BACK! FUCK YOU FOR THE CRITICISM! FUCK YOU FOR YOUR EFFORT IN BEING OPEN-MINDED AND FAILING! FUCK YOU FOR YOUR ALWAYS BLAMING YOUR UNHAPPINESS ON ME! FUCK YOU FOR BARING ME! FUCK YOU ALL FOR EVERYTHING! FUCK YOU FOR SPEAKING, BREATHING, THINKING OUT LOUD, KNOWING ME, CARING, AND LOVING ME! im sick. im done. im gonna go throw up.
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"whatever you do, don't tell anyone.." (q.o.t.s.a)   
12:46pm 08/08/2003
mood: lethargic
music: the lost art of keeping a secret - q.o.t.s.a
yea.....meow. work today. ugh. i hate my job. stay unemployed for as long as possible! working for the man is fucking hard! wtf! lol i love queens of the stone age. the lead singer reminds me of ELVIS! and i heart elvis. and i have a pin that says so...i says i <3 elvis! what now beyatches?!?!?! yawn. im tired. i was up a bit late last nite. ugh. school's apporching. ahhhhhhh!!! i dread it! junior yr. bwahahahaahha im not even mature enough to be that old. lol. speaking of old enough....i have to talk to my mum about driving school. well...im off...he you assheads start posting!!! posts and stuff! lol. later
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"sinners, casting stones at me." (mudvayne, not falling)   
09:36pm 07/08/2003
mood: determined
music: mudvayne - not falling
yo yo yo. what it be homies? lol. yea just got done work. my sister now knows all the words to the spiderman theme song! rock it! lol. ohhhhhh yea! lol.smoked it up yesterday. my sister says im a hippie. i beg to differ! yea. im tired of delran...and its people. i want new people to know. so yea...meow. i cant wait to drive! yea this isnt gonna be long. i have things to do. not much has happened..but when it does you'll all be the first to know! til then...keep up the masturbation!!!! lol.
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"donde me perdi" (the mars volta)   
09:20pm 04/08/2003
mood: indescribable
music: eria tarka - the mars volta
good shit. this cd is really good. ^.^ content maggie. yea bought some more books today. no cindy sherman which i had wanted but nope. -.- yea got some good stuff at the mall today. so im content. bought deftones aroundthe fur......FINALLY!! lol. yea. i'm feeling a bit lonely right now. i'm not quite sure why. but i am. *sigh* i made my own personal mars volta pin today. lol i rule! yea. got this awesome bag...its hard to explain so im not gonna try...just know it owns. ^.^ i sometimes hate the stupid comments people make. like...i was thinking today about the other day...when someone i know said something really fucking stupid...cos they're fucking mindless..and it's funny that as much as they try tobe open-minded and out spoken...they still fail. WELL FUCK YOU..BECAUSE YOU'RE.....FUCKING....*lose of words*...i quit. you'renot worth and you never will be. so fuck you and what ever you ever have to say about me. you think with your extensive vocabulary and your "opened-mind", that you're a good person. far from it. anyway...off that. oh and for those of you who read this...dont ask if it's you cos the answer's no. im venting..dont question my release. ^.^ i wanna play god for a bit....*kisses*
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"but i'm still not comfortable in my skin..." (otep)   
11:41am 04/08/2003
mood: drunk
music: jonestown tea - otep
ha i still have bill's otep cd. lol. i find that funny. mwahahahhahahaha. yea. i havent been on in a while. eh?? meow. yea things have been slow. life's slow. slowing down. or maybe i'm slowing down..and everything's still at the same pace as before. who knows? not i. going to the mall today. gonna pick up mars volta. i made a mars volta pin. im oh so proud. i wonder how jeff's doing. =) i miss bob. damn you bob and ur stupid job. grrrr. lol. i heart you. =) i wonder how scott's doing. i should call that kid. ^.^ i think ill call...later or something. i like babies. they're so cute. yea. i watched this awesome movie last nite on sundance. it was called "spirits of the dead" 3 poe tales. it rocked like no other. i highly enjoyed the last one. "don't wadger your head with the devil" or something like that. it was all old and stuff. like late 70's old. but just still awesome. french with english subtitles. ^.^ i love films with subtitles. ^.^ today is joan crawford day on tcm. yea gotta love black and whites. ^.^ anywho....im hungry...time for food. ^.^ oh and im not drunk just wanna see what that little hamster looks like.
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i hate my job and i say we blow the fuckers up...but there's always weed.   
09:08pm 31/07/2003
mood: enraged
music: s.o.a.d- boom!
so i got high today with a friend of mine...john ford. and it was right before work. and im glad i did..even though some dont. cos i would have set the place on fire. fucking shit. i hate people...fuck you all. but theres always soad. =) which is what im listening to. JEFF GET THIS CD...STEAL THIS ALBUM...DO WHAT IT SAYS...STEAL IT DAMN YOU!. lol. well...im gonna go talk to my fluffy. fuck you guys til later.
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"oh mygod! he just ordered a big glass of milk. _that's a vanilla milkshake." (ghost world)   
08:41pm 30/07/2003
mood: excited
music: s.o.a.d - i-e-a-i-a-i-o
ah yes. working....it blows more then a fucking preist. yes. well...at least i can just relax now. i work the rest of the week....and that my friend blows. listening to some system. i heart serj. he rocks it like no other. lol. inner vision. mmmmmmmmmmmmm. well...i really dont have shit to say. i dunno....im debating shit in my head.and i dont even know what that is. heh. fuckin eh? well...i was asked if i could pick a word that discribes me...what od wuld it be...and i chose ambivalent....and damn was i right. sigh. looks like im smoking tomorrow...povided everything gose as planned. oh yea!
"how many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?" (jeff)   
04:00pm 30/07/2003
mood: crazy
music: s.o.a.d-sugar
hiya people. missed me? of course you did. ok i lie. i have to be at work in an hour. seriously for those of you who are unemployed....remain that way for as long as you can. seriously live of friends and family. it will work out. don't enter the real world of employement. it sucx!!!!! anywho. i feel refeshed cos i took a shower like 10 minutes ago. mmmmm showers. i wanna live by a beach even if its only for like a year. i wouldnt care just want to experience that kind of beauty. ^.^ one day, mark these words, i will. =) yea. paycheck friday....wahooo!!! mall monday!!! summer coming to an end and its just started like yesterday. lol. mmmmmmmmm ice cream. haagen-dazs coffee flavored ice cream rocks the body. like whoa. lol. and so do cherries. mmmm. im a fat kid at heart people what can i say. but you guys love me and thats all that counts. ^.^ makes maggie happy. =) okie. well um yea. i think im gonna go call my buddy jay and bug the hell outta him. crazy guy with a short temper. lol. he's hung up on me cos ofm immaturity...bwahhahahaha. everyone...sleep in tomorrow, dont shower or bush your teeth...and say fuck off to whom ever tells you different. ^.^ time for ice cream..you wish you had this delightful taste of....sugaaaaaaaaa. mmmmm system. mushroom people. who sit around all day.....hey its me! heehehe. blah blah blah fuck you blah blah blah. i got a gun the other day from sako, its cute, small, fits right in my pocket.^.^
"your honor...you seem to be shrinking.." (home movies)   
01:05am 30/07/2003
mood: awake
music: fiona apple - a mistake
i love home movies. that cartoon's hilarious. listening to fiona apple. helping someone out. and munching on croutons. i love salads.i had one tonite. very happy little me. =) i want a cat. a fat cat. =) my mum's allegic though. so....eh. yea. that sucx. the summer is ending. school's a creeping. ahhhhhhh. sleep will become rare. damn america....yes america i blame you. bitch.