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Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
1:01 pm - Whats going on in the world today
Well ive been writing in my old school journal from back in the day ... u know the one my mother read. O well damn! Its mainly cuz my puter was total MIA and because i mean i dont wanna type so confidentiality details on here and then someone that i know happens to stumble upon it and then boom secrets are revealed so im thinking about ending this bloggy thing it has been nice but now its time to go.

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Saturday, May 15th, 2004
7:55 pm - I hate my family
My family contains many talented individuals with their own unique sense of personality. And i guess I am sort of the black sheep of the family I listen to different music liek different thinsg think differently. But in all when the day is over my family can come together for one thing to bash me! I will bethe only person from my immediate family that graduates on time .. Besides my dad. My mom dropped out of school cuz she was pregnate with my older sis however she did o back in get a ged and college degrees, my oldest sister dealt with our parents divorce horribly and had to repate her senior year and then she went on to graduate go to grambling university where she fucked up and had to come back here. My other sis I have no clue why she didnt rgaduate but she didnt ut she got her ged and some nursing degreese and drives a mercedes now so i guess its all good. But there is so much pressure for me to do all the things that they didnt or oculdnt or woouldnt do and they are all trying to live vicarously thru me and they believe this can be done by cornering me into discussions where they basically say u have fucked up once dont do it again , ur immature so dont fuck up. But thats not the way to come at me like seriously i do not respond well to confrontation unless its needed. I understand wht they are saying but if you tell me one i will usually fix it. I had went to my middle sis house that one time where she believed those assholes over me and then i went to my oldest sis house just a sec ago where she and her husband did about the same thing but less dramtial adn violent but i left because its not cool for them to start shit with me like that and I dont care if my mom sides with them or not! They don know me for shit1 Big Deal I had sex with a guy who the fuck cares that was forever ago! But you know what it just pushes me to succeed harder, I am going to be a seuccessful model. I am going to have a college degree and I am going to be famous as well as wealthy and humly thankful for my rgeat gifts! I really need to do soemthing to help with my anger issue at the moment so i think i will wrtie upa poem did i mention i am going to be a famous acclaimed writer lol!

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Sunday, May 9th, 2004
8:57 pm - Confrontational
WHy do I always start shit and cause drama wtf is wrong with me! Everything is all chill adn then i let my dumbass people who have shitty ass relationships influence my decisions on mine! Now Ky is mad at e and hung up on me and wont answer my calls and im baking so u know im fucking sad! UHHH ive been going to church cuz damn i need to and as a big fuck u to the ass hole who talked shit about me there! It just pissed me off cuz liek Ky saw danica but he didnt see me yesterday when i worked an they used to kinda talk that really pisses me the fuck off! Im not up for that shit! Im so mad im lsitening to swisha house and thats like my angry music! Bout to listen to liek soem dying fetus and shit! I dunno grrr! Anyway D has been calling again guess i could date hi o waite hes a wanna be playa still and has a gf BOYS SUCK DICK! on a side notre i hate the world and i mad if u cant tell!

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Monday, May 3rd, 2004
4:46 pm - Is it the 3rd of may or Drama day hmm??????
Ok heres the deal well I got told lastnight by my sister that this one guy Geremiah who has talked crap about me before told her AT CHURCH YALL! that i was *fast* well at school i confronted him and we had this whole hallway showdown/throwdown were he ended up calling me a hoe! Yeah u know i went southside compton on him even though i am a north side girl lol ! Anyway well i got lots of pats on the backs and high fives afterwards and the fatbitches totally congradulated him! Well in the end i knwow hell get what coming to him I even talked to his mom who by the way loves me im liek the best kid ever and i made a mistake its ok get over it and get out my damn buisiness i was gonan type more but im just so lazy today lol! Ky is out of town for his sisters graduation i miss him! Hmm thats the readers digest version im audi 5000

*Brina*

I found out one of my friends who has been called gay and stuff before who i totally defended Is actually gay and it just pains me inside because i care about him so much and dont want him to go to hell. I guess it hurts to because everyone always expected us to go out but i guess we an go out and look at guys together or something. A lil bit o comic releief.. u know what i think really really hurts tho is that he didnt fucking tell me like i m friends with other gay guys and like even one guy he messed around with but like i guess he knew that i knew u know but i dunno its just alot of shit going on im dealin with.

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Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
8:32 am - My River of tears
I just got my nails done so watch the spelling on this entryits hard to to type. Anyway so my car is broken which really suxs so im basically bumming for rides to top it off my mom got a brand new 2004 car while mine is like dead how convenient for her and the icing on the cake is that she wont even let me drive it even tho i dont know how im getting to school today cuz my brother in law has to get my sister @ lunch & my friend jen might not be going to school today because its half a day since we are seniors and we dont have testing like all the youngins. Well even if she does pick me up im gonna gave to give her gas money for it which suxs too! I have been like crying over this whole situation since i woke up this morning! My mom is just like well u need to handle ur bisness ok i dont know why the fuck when my car is broken that I am just suppost to manage with what my good looks an talent ur my fucking parent and ur not doing shit for me! I hate my mom so much right now like i cant stand her!!! ANd i have a job interview today @ wetseal that i need to go to wschool for so i can get whtis blue jean jacket to wear to it and i dont know how im getting to my interview or to school! I need to stop talking about this cause its just going to make me cry again! ****************************** this secction has been edited due to the confidentiality issue************************* o i dont know how long ago i wrote but my friend sarah and britney bitch < obviously dont like her said this girl told them that the girls apt. we were at was khayris gf but it didnt make sense because she like came in and said hey to us and if that was his girl wouldnt she have gotten crunk! Well i had prom this weekend which i was @ 4 like a damn hour! And i left my purse int he car so i didnt get to take pics with anyone i wanted to! Me Ray Patrick adn Jen B. all went to this apt party and then we went to Jen not Jen b but my best bud jens house which the party got busted however her parents came home and reasonesd witht he cops and got us off the hook whew! My mom still dosntknow about that !!!!!!!!!!! THANK GOD! ANd i take back hating my mom im just really pisssed off at her! ANyway well after we went to jens i got out my dress and went and picked up khayri who is sooo damn cute yall omg! Im talking about drool! Well we soialized for like 5 minutes with everyone else and we were gonna go to ttaras room and do extracurricular stuff but stupid sarah and ryan were already in there " reading books" as we call it today! lol So went into drews room! Well we were just laying there talking cuz he had been out of town like every weekend that we have time to spend together! ANd he was liek did u miss me andi was like yeah and we kissed alot and he did that thing where he hads ur hand in his face and it moves ur face to his i love that shit!! Anyway i was like did u miss me he was like obviously i did cause i asked u if u missed me *aww factor lol* So the cuteness lasted ****************************** this secction has been edited due to the confidentiality issue*************************! Well then we had the cop thing and th ecops liek wanted to take him to jail cuz he was older than all of us but then it was all good adn jens parents let her bf and Ky stay the night with us and then****************************** this secction has been edited due to the confidentiality issue************************* but it makes me feel better well im gonna go excercize and take a shower and try to find something to wear to school slash my nterview esp now since i have like the cycle going on!

*Brina*

current mood: annoyed
current music: EVERYTIME brit spears

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Monday, April 12th, 2004
8:32 am - Im a hoe.. U know im a hoe.. how do u know cuz i told u so
Ok thats an ol school ice cube adn master p song! ****************************** this secction has been edited due to the confidentiality issue*************************

*Brina*

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Sunday, April 11th, 2004
11:54 am
i totally jsut typed this long entry and it didnt update well im not in the mood to retype it all so now im just putting this one to replace it!

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Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
8:10 pm - I feel pretty .. o so pretty
Not really! Well i do feel pretty ... as usual jk! khayri hasnt called me back in like a day and half! I went and saw him on sunday and he didnt even walk me out to my car ok so it was raining and he had on a muscle tee but like my bud Jen said so what thats not cool! Anyway im just a lil spoiled in th eboy department well boy 1 spoiled me a lil bit but then he ended up being and ass and boys 2-4? the 4ths and iffy all adored me and made me feel all pretty and spoiled but then they ended up being assholes and going back to gf's minor detail tho. And i know he told me he didnt want to get serious but does that mean u cant fucking call me back and shit but then try to hook up with me when i spend time with u... Sabrina is an elegant and poise name not a fucking booty call! So im a bit swoll and i guess hes using his justification as well as not feeling bad about calling me back and shit thru his lets not be serious speech for justification! Boys are so easily tricked by their lil minds to believe shit so they dont have to get emotional its sad truly truly sad@ Ok next things next! I started writing in my old school hand write journal but i dont hink i want to cuz my mom read it that one time yeah im still pretty iffy on her too she liek dcomplains about my unpacked room and all this stuff about me and im liek well if someone told u every other day something negative and how ur stay is a trial and temporary do u think im gonna be all o i love u mom to you or wanna clean ur house prolly not! Shes been bitchin at me and ive been given some tude but yeah the usual thats what up! I need to do my articles for sociolgy so im bouncin! Dude my old ex bud is really pretty to bad shes a lying skank whore who prolly has an std! Did i say that out loud! Jens mad at Ana ...cuz sometimes ana goes all anal and shit and gets in these grumpy moods and trys to click and jens fed up! prom is soon like in 17 days and like my date might have to be ray cuz whits moms being all racist and jeffs cool and all but hes all unconformed and im very strucutrd with unconformed views but u know! Anyway i just washed my hair its great its all soft and stuff anyway real worlds on and i need to do those damn article ooo i excercized today i was so freaking proud! OMG! i was like hand clap! lol! ANd 3 days off from work woo hoo and schools out thursday-monday faboulous daarrrling! TTYL

*BRINA*

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Thursday, April 1st, 2004
5:14 pm - umm like ok
Ok so tuesday night i go to the dorms and visit Ky and all we did was makeout ****************************** this secction has been edited due to the confidentiality issue*************************thats all i promise... ok and we nah jk! But anyway we havent gotten to talk liek at all the rest of this week cuz hes a big college boy and he plays basketball so hes been hoopin and going to his classes and bullshit! He calls me today adn apologizes for all of it which is really ironic cause i was thinkingt hat lastnight when he didnt call me back like how im like uhh thanx sir yeat what about me? ANd he was liek and i know u be like ok yeah thanx for notspending time with me and shit lol! Weird anyway he was like we can still chill and stuff and i was like umm i guess and he's all ahh its liek that and imall no and the whole damn time hes like are u mad are u mad and im like no no adn hes liek i know u are. But gayly i have to go to bullshit ass work even tho i dont want to and i have to work with my girl manager whos like so gay! A total poser and needs to realize that she isnt a medium she's a large cause if i have to see her damn pop belly stomach with her it makes me want to never get my belly button pierced belly button ring i think ill shoot myself! UHH! And hoepefully ill get out early enuff to spend time with ky! Im nto mad about it but i am i dont know i cried a lil cuz im a pussyand thats what u do but seriously i dunno! I really miss jauaan prolly the whole he was my 1st syndrom but i do i just want us to be friends and he wont even talk to me so i guess i dunno illt ry to stir up a convo with him sometime or something and ashley bitch the one he left for me is like all cool with him and that really pisses me off. College coutndown is in august thank you jesus! All i need now is a scholarship god i gotta get out of this bullshit ass town !
*brina*

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Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
5:38 pm - Whats going on in the world today
Well i haven't written in a hile been busy! A briedf update cuz im sort of irrated and not in my usual bubbly mood. Me and that Guy i met at the Club Khayri prounounced kyree are like dating i guess u could say i dont know we kissed about 3 times and i have been talking to him on the phone for about 2 weeks and like spending time with him this week. Hes really cute and lastnight he asked me what i wanted like what i saw for us and stuff but id ont know hes 20 hes gota go home since this is only a 2 year college and ill be going to college in august so i said it was pretty much up to him well we talked some more and that was yesterday..today i havent talked to him at all and im like umm ok yeah thanx sir and i called him when i got out of school and he didnt answer so left hima message and i was liek hey just waned to talk to ya give me a call back ect... and usually ehll call right back when i do that like 5 seconds and today he didnt so im like alright umm question mark. ANyway i think hes real cute and sweet but whatever happens happens ya know. Prom is apirl 24th adn my church is doing some black prom thing yeah i dunno what that is all about but i dont know who im going with to prom or to black prom so yep so far i have khayri as a prospect. Travon is mad at me cuz i didnt give him a pass to the club and stuff and im gonna be the marture one and try to talk to him about it but if all less fails and hes still a lil baby bitch fuck him! Im sick of highschool bullshit. It is so hard to see jauaan every damn day at school esp since his locker is next to jennifers and it hink about how we used to be and stuff and then all the bulllshit he did to me i feel awkwards sad adn confused yeah its gay! Anywhom i got my prom bress its fabo! Ill like put a pic up or something!Its hot pink and orange and fuscia well mainly hot pink its hard to explain! Anyway i hate when peopel think they are so fucking cool and that they are the shit and there just like look liek shit and arent ...conceeded is ok but conceeded and cocky is a lil much .,... my friend lauren told me to go up to holister and get a job application but id idnt want to i walked in and all the workers were liek chillent talkinga dn i got nervous so i left i might go back up there here in abit and get one even tho i already have a job! Im sort of sick of Gadzooks just mainly a few people but anyway enuff said! Got things to do and people to see o waite things to see and people to do damn my dixlexia lol jk

*Brina*

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Sunday, March 14th, 2004
11:22 am - Its been a long time
A few days ago me and Jen see marcus @ the mall & its so sad cause she hooked up with him that one night @ the duck pond where it was me her marcus and D ! Well anyway she was like who is he? lol! But yeah he gives us his # and whatever ok then i see him yesterday @ the mall again cuz 1. i work there and 2. everyones at the mall! We'll he gives me his # & then he calls me and jen tells us about this supposed hotel party right.... yeah ok this loser calls me and is all are u mad at D cause me and him arent like talking anymore and I was like no i havent talked to him in a while but i dont have Grade A quality beef with him its not that big of a deal. Hes all good cuz hes going to the party.. and i was like whatever! They take us to like a super 8 motel behind a denny's on the ghetto side of town... 1st mistake them we go into the hotel room umm no party just the 4 of us and me and jen totally have esp so were like what a bunch of losers adn i figured this was gonna happen so i told tyler to call me @ like 11:40 so it gave me an execuse to leave. Well we get up there and were like o yeah this room is something *sarcasm* and were like how poor and stuff and me and jen sit on these chairs and marcus put her on the ebd and d sits in the chair and we are just talking adn we now they planned this crap i mean how obvious! So we are like just chillen marcus is trying to hump Jen and D is fighting with me over the tv controller! And eventually I call Kyree*talk about him later* well like there all o we know him blah blah and im like yeah hey jen hes heading back to his dorm lets go over there! *another execuse to migrate out of this poor supposed party* And thent yler calls me right after adn jen is liek im nto trying to have sex lets get our drink on so im pretending to talk to tyler about this party so the guys think that what we are gonna do right! Well it all works out. And we are all we gotta go meet kyree and then go to this party bye! But i mean wtf! Who the hell lies about a party to get 2 girls in a motel not a hotel that has one bed ad is poorsville city ok! And to top it off actually think ur gonna get some when theres not even any refreshments! OMG! I felt s disrespected like it was mainly marcus trying to fuck jen and me and D were chillen but still i felt really disrepscted! Anyway yeah on to a better subject! Kyree hehe ! He plays b-ball for the comunity college hes Danica' bud and he asked for my # from her a few days ago then he got it again on friday night and we started talking, well hes out of town until next saturday or sunday which really suxs for me cause we just started to liek get to knoweachtoher basicall we met at the club we both no danica and we have been talking like all the time since friday he even called me this morning before his trip :)! Anyway hes really cute and I hope i get to hang out ith him and he calls me soon! Thats mainly what has been going on. Travon and Marshana came to the mall yesterday turns out kyree tried to talk to her after one of his games lol! BOYS BOYS BOYS! ANd travon was all that nigga aint hotta then me and she was like ofcourse not baby and she kicked me underneath the table! lol They are a cute couple. I wish he would do right by her tho cuz seriously shes only in 9th grade adn we are seniors and he sometiems cheats on her and he says head is cheating on her but it is and uhh she doesnt need to get an std from him or something cause shes faithful and shes nto and she is so pretty and travons my best bud but marshana could pull ! I hope he starts doing her right. Anyway hmm im hungry and i need to finish doing my nails.

*Brina*

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Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
5:28 pm - Guess who's back???
Ok ok if you didnt guess the first time.............Its me yeah! Back once again. This time bringing it real... not explicit real.. well actually sometimes real is explicit but this time no code names just the blunt honest truth. Pluz i was getting confuzed with all of the damn boy 1 blah blah ect ect. Ok well update on me is that I had a hotel party for my 18 bithday on february 15 ( not my bday but the day of the party)yeah it got BUSTED by our parents! Complete and utter drama after that! Ok So i was drunk not shitty drunk just the happy wooo hey guys look at me drunk so i dont really remember what happened but I got kicked out my house........ for 2 weeks but i stayed with my friend Jen and it all workd out they had an extra room and her family loves me. Plus im back home now and not even grounded! Well living with Jen was a blast! Her parents went out o f town last week and we had 2 party's friday adn saturday and on friday are u ready for this.............i went to the club! OMG fun major esp. when its ur 1st time! I went with Danica and Amanda ! We got in free and i know the manager thanx to my great job and he gave me a free drinking bracelet however i dont drink so it wasnt that cool anyway lol! Well i dont drink anymore hah! Anyway i pulled hard i mean atleast 30 guys! Including deliscious boys from the community college! OMG 'whipes sweat" we had a blast! Wanna hear something really sqad you know how travon aka boy 2 said he was gonna be faithful to his gf ........LIAR! He had a 3 some liek 2 weekends ago and is going back out of town this satruday! I feel so bad for his gf cause shes my friend. Spekaing of him i havent been talking to him at all , Ive been ignoring him not on purpose but here is my new theory on life which i stole from dmx and mike jones*if u love me your gunna smile if you hate me your gunna fron, dont start nothin it wont be nothin, and i m warning you now im not a nice person... that one i came up with* So basically im like dude if you wanna talk to me you will if not ur loss! I mean its obvious i pull now.....and if i pull without giving out sexual thing it equals gorgeousness ( which by the way got my sr. pics back FABOLOUS) and I have future outside of DramaVille USA so its all great in the day and the life of me! OmG Wanna hear something HORRID my mom read my diary n0 no noth this one i delted this one just in case you know but she read my real one like the one i have had since 7th grade yeah alot of personal shit along with Uhh ihate my bitch ass mom god shes fucking gay entries yeah yeah yeah! Shes still kinda anal baout it i can tell o well! I saw that jesus passions movie it was so good! And satan ins a girl yeah i thought she was cute before i saw she was a girl during the credits ... im questioning my heterosexuality.... jk jk lol!! Hmm is that all thats up........... leave me a comment or something with like a welcome back or somethin lol.

*Brina*

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