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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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world inferno playlist |
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mmm. im on the wayy home from the beachh. this is my first blurty entry from my sidekick. anyways, this weekend was the best one i have had in a long long time. idk i was expecting to be upset about the whole connor thing. but i never even cried about it. idk, i guess i realized he's a douchebag and i can do way better. ;P i should've realized that a long time ago. so friday we get there, and i've been talking to chris like over texts since connor problems started. but then we got back together "exclusively" or whatever that nonsense was about. he was really upset when we got back, and we didn't talk as much. cause he liked me, and he thought i liked connor. but really i didn't, i was just hangingon to the past. but now the past is in the pastt. :) it's overdue. anyways, me and liv got there friday afternoon. and go to the beach house and chris and tyler and fx were there. so then we chilled, but chris was being a jerkoff to me. so i was all annoyed. but then he found out me and connor brokeup and his attitude completely changed. :) he was just upset cause he liked me, and he thought i didn't feel the same way. anyways, we all walked around and he had his hands all over me. so i'm like this so cute kid i've had a crush on forever is totally available tonight. so he gets his car and we all go to the ob. he bought me frenchfries. then we go back to grandi's and we chill and talk a lot. then tyler left and grandi went to sleep, and we all went and watched tv/played uno. oh and we went swimming, at like one oclock in the morning. lmao. chris and fx wouldnt go in. but me and liv did, and then we went skinnydipping. but we made them walk up to the beach house, so they couldn't look, and plus i don't want fx seeing me naked. ew. so then we come in and he's all cutesy putting his arm around me etc. so then i lay down, and he comes and makes me sit up, so i can lay on his lap. :) then he gets out his phone and says, so what happened with connor? and i write, we brokeup, i'm so done with the whole thing. and he writes are you upset about it? and i was like surprisingly no. i thought i would be, but i'm really not. and he's like well you know that if you ever need me, i'm here for you. i care about you. a lot. and i'm like aww thankyou so much, I don't think I'll need it, but thanks for caring about me. i care about you too. and he's like plus, connor doesn't know what he's missing, you are so hot. and i was like idk what to say. :) you make me blush. and he's like i'm serious all i want to do is kiss you right now. and i'm like i would totally kiss you, but we can't. and this went on until we decided to go into a dif room. he got up first and went to pee, and then i got up and waited in the other room. and he's comes in and sits next to me, as close as he can. and he said something and we just look at eachother and he kissed me. and idk i'm used to connor sticking his tongue down my throat, that's my normalcy, I thought that's what was good, what felt the best. lol. omg, chris' kissing, he knows what he is doing. he kissed me, and would stop and brush our noses together and kiss my nose and my eyes and my forehead. and it was like something out of the movies. he would just look at me and smile and i would be like what?? and he's like idk i can't help it, you're just so pretty. and i was of course like skxdskwegfjd. this kid is so cute. like wtf more can yhu want? so then we kissed a lot. and he touched my tits. and i was shivering cause it was so cold in the house and my hair was wet, so he got on top of me. mmm, he was so warm. i miss him. anyway, uhm. we talked a lot, not about stupid things, about important things, like trust and honesty. and then we eventually went back into the other room with fx and livy. and he proceeded to feel me up and down on the couch, and i'm like dude. my cousin can totally see. but he continued. but he was cute, too. he held my hand a lot, and rubbed my legs and feet. and he took out his phone and asked if i would fuck him, and i said idk. we'd only been doing shit for the first time. and he said fair enough. and then he's like keep talking about anything, I just want to talk to you. and i'm like can't we just lay here and hold hands and let whatever be whatever. and he smiled and said okay. and we did just that.but then eventually he was like would you sleep with me for the night? without the fucking. and i was like yes of course. (keep in mind, it's probably three in the morning). so then we go upstairs to one of the blue room beds, and we just lay there and his hands are everywhere and we kiss and just be. :) and then he starts sticking his hands down my pants, and i was hesitant at first, but i was like fuck it, i'm horny. so i let him, and OMG. best sexual experience of my entire life, by far. and we didn't even have sex. he was just, idk, so good. he completely knew what he was doing, it wasn't like connor who just moved his fingers in and out or in circles. he stuck his fingers in and like left them in and pushed on my gspot again and again and it made me shake hxc. and instead of just like rubbing my clit, he like pressed on it. and idk i can't even explain it. it was so amazing, i didn't even know that it was possible. and idk i thought connor was good, but woah, i did not know what i was missing. and he sucked on/licked my nipples. holy shit, that was new. i loved it. then i eventually had to make him stop cause i was on the verge of passingout and i was soo loud and out of breathe. and he kissed me everywhere. and asked if i was good. and i said i was better than good. and he laughed. and was like yeah, just imagine what i can do with my cock. and i was like oh so modest. and he laughed a lot. and we talked and kissed. and he got on top of me again and kissed me like that. and stopped and said oh i want to fuck you soooo bad. and i was like i changed my mind, you can if you want. he is like oh do i want to. i don't have a condom though. and i'm like i'm on the pill. and he's like eh, i don't trust the pill. and i'm like okay, your loss then. :) and he was like i knowwwww. and then he layed next to me again and we were kissing and he stopped and was like i just want you to know that i'm not happy with me gettingoff, i'm only happy with the other person getting off. and you got off right? and i was like ohh yes i diddd. and he laughed a lot. and he looked me in my eyes and said well i am happy then. and we stayed like laying there like that until we felt we should go back down to fx and livia. so we did, but not before i walked down like one stair and turned around to say something to him cause he was behind me, and he bit my boob, not hard, it felt so good. and pulled me to the floor ontop of him. and we madeout. and eventually got up. and they were sleeping so we went back in the first room we went in and made out and dryhumpedd while he told me how much he wanted to fuck me. and then we just layed there and talked about hxc stuff. i was happy he was so open about it. and then he asked if i gave good blowjobs, and i was like idk, i've only ever given them to connor. and idk, i'm not ~experienced like you. you intimidate me. and he's like i've only slept with 8 girls. and i'm like yeah, well one boy okay. and he's like all my blowjobs have sucked and i was like sorry, idk, i don't want it to be bad. and he's like alright, it's fine. so i just layed on top of him and rubbed his chest while he rubbed my back and i was like i'm so tired. and he's like go to sleep. so i almost did, but then we repositioned,so he was like sitting and i was laying. and i eventually fell asleep and wokeup a little while later to "someone get fucking shanon upstairs" and i'm like hey! don't call me fucking shanon and he's like you're awake? and i was like now, and we kissed some, and i went upstairs to bed, and he had to leave, so we kissed. it was so nice. and this is so long. and i'm tired from staying up forever last night. so the end.
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