ashley's Blurty
 
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ashley's Blurty:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Monday, November 10th, 2003
    2:38 pm
    today was ok
    i know my last entry was alittle hateful but i don't care. today is ok. i had to wash tables for throwing a peice of french frie like (--) this big at jenni. this school is so queer. but hey i just blend in with the the queer school. anyway. i'm in geometry and i'm freezin my a$$ off and shane and john ar pissing me off because they're just gay. the whole world is gay to me. excpet my friend except for like two of them and you know who you are. i'm going to go do stuff because i'm cold. ok bye people

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: rest in pieces- Saliva
    9:18 am
    i'm tired of being what you want me to be!!
    hey guys. i had a very unexciting weekend except for sunday, even though i had a hard time there too. it all started saturday when i actually spent time with the folks. i only went because bob was going to get me a new cell phone and my mom didn't say anything. when we get to target to ge the phone at the last minute she say's no. of course she doesn't tell me that she going to buy me on fr christmas but she expects i know everything. then she starts to bad-mouth me and my friend especially becca. i'm so tired of her bad mouthing her. she goes through enough, she doesn't need my stupid mother talkking shnit about her and i 'm sick of it. she tells me she doesn't want me shopping in Hot Topic because it is a demon store. the people that shop there worship the devil. give me a fud-rucking break. Devil Worshipers. do i look like that to you? no i don't. the only reason i go in there is to buy more gay pride merchendise like rings, bumper stickers, shirts, and stuff. and she hates spencers. i wish she would grow up. she hates the way i act from the music i listen to, the way i talk, the way i dress. she says i'm acting "white". you can't act white. that's just being racist. i'm sorry i don't were black name brand clothes and wear weave in my hair and listen to some rapper talk about his balls for three minutes. i'm sorry that's not me and if she can't accept that then i don't belong in the same house as her.i should be able to live the life i want to live and not they way she wants. i don't go around talking shit about her friends or tell her how to dress so she shouldn't do it to me. and i sick of her going in my damn room. i have been wanting my own room for five years and would like to get alittle privacy but do i get that- uh-DUH- NO!!!!

    i just need my friends and especially my girlfriend. to help me out. yea i may look nice today but really i'm hurting inside. of all the times i need someone to comfort me is right now. i need you guys the most because you know would be there for you guys when you need me. *begins to cry in a library full of seniors* all i need is you guys. please help me.

    Current Mood: sad
    Current Music: Numb- Linkin Park
    Thursday, November 6th, 2003
    12:49 pm
    what ever
    i just thought i would write something i made last night, it's not a poem. it's another alter ego type thing. don't worry i'm not going to turn into daria or the demon seed of satan.

    her name is Rain. she is basically me. the way i usually act on a regul ar day. she is way more milder than athena. athena was just a staight up biotch, but not Rain. the girl my friends see every morning or the girl that becca is dating is Rain. she is the way i was when i first got here. i realized that athena was basically ruining my life, relationship and my friendships. she would say stuff and not care what anyone thought or even if it hurt there feelings. but Rain is alittle more concerned than that. she is coniderate of other people feelings and just wants to live life to the fulliest and keep it real. she can be a biotch sometime, but that's everyone. she can be sweet and senative about herself and sweet towards her friends and family. she also very passionate and romantic, too. the girl that april talks to on the phone or gives our tinkerbell notebook to- that's rain. i guess i wanted to be myself. and i just made a name for my self. the only reason why i chose Rain for the name is because that day we were all at red bank and we stood in the rain and got soaking wet. plus i really love the rain. the sound that feel, the way it feels on my face. i love it. Rain is the goddess of rain and happiness while athena was the goddess of war and pain.

    well that's it. i hopemy friends like her better than athena and if you guys want you can call me Rain from now on. please dont' call me ashley unless you are calling my house. i here ashley twenty four seven and i'm sick of that name. so if it's not to much trouble, please call me Rain. if you don't i won't answer(jus kiddin) lu v ya guys.

    Current Mood: crappy
    Current Music: hilary duff-the little voice
    10:49 am
    today is the day
    today is our forensics meet and i hope i kick so me a$$. i know i'm not that good but i doin it to the best of my abilty and i hope i get a good outcome. i see that becca has change her blurty name. i think it rocks. thank you becca for your comment. it mademe smile and made me feel alot better about today. thanxs baby. i'm glad i made april feel better about the you know what situation.

    i'm sleepy and in heels. i'm frustrated and in a dress. and i 'm pissed and in a blouse. aren't i the lucky one. when i get on the bus i'm going the hell to sleep. but anyway, becca you don't have to worry about me talking to anybody on this trip. the schools are stupid and they're are abunch of hoe and fagbags so don't worry. you knoe and i told you this- i would never ever ever ever ever cheat on you because i don't want you to do it to me, even though you tricked me on the phone, but it's ok-you had me going there for a minute. i' sorry from yesterday. i didn't realize i was being possesive and i'm glad you told me. that's what i want is for you to be honest with me and tell me if i'm being a pain in the a$$. love you much babe

    well i'll talk to the rest of my friends tomorrow and i'll tell you guys about my meet. love peace and safe sex form the great words of linda!!!

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: Switchfoot-meant to live
    Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
    2:44 pm
    just one more
    right now i'm just killing time because i only have 20 minutes left of this class. i just finished my geometry exam. that biotch was so damn easy. i breezed threw that like fire. and i am confident that i will get a great grade on it. i finally have desk in my room so i have some place to do my writing or do my hoemwork. i have it nicely set up. ok g2g i have forensics paractice this afternoon and i need to learn my piece for tomorrow. kesha good luck to you i hope you kick raven snobby a$$ and good luck to heather who is also competing againgst me in Prose. may the best chick win and everybody wish me luck as i venture into Granby territory and kich their a$$e$`

    Current Mood: determined
    Current Music: P.O.D-will you
    12:27 pm
    EXAMS SHEXAMS!!
    TODAY IS EXAM DOY. SINCE I HAD A FORENSICS MEET TOMORROW. I HAD TO TAKE MY THEATER EXAM YESTERDAY. ALL WE HAD TO DO IS WATCH A WHOLE BUCH OF CLIPS AND SH!T. BUT ANWAY. I'M HAVING A REALLY GOOD WEEK, BUT I'M SO DAMN GULLIBLE. BECCA AND JEN HAVE BEEN TRICKIN ME ALL WEEK, BUT IT'S COOL. I DON'T MIND. THEY'RE FUNNY, I'M JUST THE THE DUMBA$$ THAT BELIEVES THEM. I'M SUCH A LOSER. I'M AT THE LIBRARY BECAUSE MR. WHITAKER'S ENGLISH CLASS IS IN OUR ROOM AND WE HAVE TO GO TO THE AUDITORIUM AND WATCH RAVEN AND ASHLEY DO THERE PIECE FOR THE THEATERFESTIVAL. I CAN'T STAND THEM. THERE SUCH SNOBS WHO SHOULD TIED TO TREE AND BEATIN. WHOA THAT WAS HARSH-NEVER MIND. BUT HEY CAN YOU BLAME ME. RAVEN HAS A STICK STUCK UP HER A$$ BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE IS THE GREASTEST THING TO SCREW OVER NORTHAMPTON. SHE ALL LIKE "I THINK I'M GOING TO GO TO JULIARD OR I THINK I'LL JUST GO TO HOLLYWOOD BECAUSE I 'M THAT GOOD." PAH-LEASE, SHE'LL BE THE ONE AT THE CLASS REUNION CLAIMING SHE IS A DANCER EVEN THOUGH SHE IS REALLY WORRKING FOR HOOTERS.

    BUT ANYWAY, I HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO THAN WATE MY TIME ON THAT BIOTCH AND HER STUPID ACT. I'M GOING TO GO AND DO...STUFF. PEACE OUT PEOPLE.

    Current Mood: geeky
    Current Music: STAIND-SO FAR AWAY
    Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
    2:46 pm
    another gay day in geometry
    today was so cool. i didn't have a bad day at all. i wrote this kick a$$ poem today. it rocked. so anyway. i'm really bored and i dont' have much to talk about. i know i don't have to go to conditioning today and i get to preform for mr whitaker's class tomorrow and i know i have a forensics meet thursday(i'll update on friday onthe results of that) fridayis MYF parent's night out and saturday is prono night at jen's(i think) and i can't wait. ok my hands are cold so i'm going to go. i would love to hear from my friends on my blurty if it's not to much trouble. love peace and a forensics piece!!!

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: three doors down-i'm here without you baby (i think)
    Monday, November 3rd, 2003
    11:01 am
    another boring day
    hello people, my weekend was pretty cool. i went to jen and aprils party on friday which was really fun adn interesting, becca was the Got Milk? commerial, i was thing 2 from doctor suess, jen was a vampire, bev was goth, april was a mixture of bands, and kesha was struck by lightning. jill didn't go, because i don't know and i dont care. saturday was fun. i spent alittle time with becca and bob was gone most of the day and my mom was stuck in jersey. oh well. sunday was pretty lame. i talked to becca on the phone until my mom and her pms bitchy mood had to make me get off. i can't stand her sometimes. jontae called me yesterday and was pissed because my cousin told him the real reason i broke up with him. oh well he'll get over it. i dont' need him. he needs me!! but everything with me is going smooth with me life and relationship. love and peace people

    Current Mood: horny
    Current Music: three days grace-i hate everything about you
    Friday, October 31st, 2003
    2:55 pm
    LET'S MAKE THIS FAST
    OK I ONLY HAVE FIVE MINUTES AND I SHOULD JUST GET TO THE POINT. I'M NOT A TOOTH FAIRY TODAY LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, I'M ONE OF THE THINGS ON DR. SUESS-THING TWO, OK. I'M REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE I'M GOING TO APRIL'S HOUSE FOR A PARTY AND I GET TO SEE THE NUMBER WOMEN IN MY LIFE-BECCA. EVERYTHING BETWEEN ME AND VICKY IS COOL, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. I GOT KIND OF UPSET YESTERDAY BECAUSE CRISSY THOUGHT THAT ME AND GEORGE WHERE DOING SOMETHING DURING THE VOLLEYBALL GAME YESTERDAY EVEN THOUG WE ONLY WENT TO HAVE A CIG AND SHE KNOWS I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO HER BECAUSE SHE IS LIKE MY BEST FRIEND. MY BROTHER JUSTIN IS ON PUNISHMENT FOR BEING BAD IN SCHOOL AND AT THE CLUB SO MY MOM TOOK AWAY HOLLOWEEN FOR HIM. OK BYE PEOPLE.°

    Current Mood: anxious
    Current Music: I DON'T KNOW- A-B-C-D-E-F-G
    Thursday, October 30th, 2003
    2:25 pm
    ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER NORTHAMPTON DRAMA SCENE
    ONCE AGAIN PEOPLE ARE PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH OF STUFF I DIDN'T SAY. NOW VIVKY THINKS I'M TRYING TO BREAK HER AND LEE UP BECAUSE SUPPOSEDLY I LIKE HER. OK NUMBER ONE
    I DON'T LOOK AT HER THAT WAY.
    NUMBER TWO
    I DON'Y LOOK AT ANYBODY IN MY SCHOOL THAT WAY
    NUMBER SIX (LOL)
    I HAVE A FRICKIN GIRL ALREADY AND I WOULDN'T CHEAT ON HER.

    OK JUST TO CLARIFY THAT. ANYWAY I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE TO KESHA AND LINDA EVEN THOUGH I DID ALREADY ABOUT BITCHIN AT THEM. I GUESS I JUMPED TO CONCLUSION TO FAST. SORRY GUYS. I HERE AT GEOMETRY AND I GOT A 98 ON MY GEOMETRY TEST. MAN I'M GOOD!!! I'M GOING TO BE A TOOTH FAIRY FOR HOLLOWEEN AND IF I SPELLED IT WRONG... OH WELL. I NEED TO GO TO BASKETBALL PRACTICE TODAY. I DONT' WANT TO BUT I WANT TO IT HELPS ME WITH MY WIEGHT AND PRETTY SOON I'M GOING TO BE THE SEXIEST GIRL AT NORTHAMPTON. HEY I CAN DREAM CAN'T I?ñ

    Current Mood: bitchy
    Current Music: BILLY TALENT-TRY HONEST
    Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
    10:56 am
    I'M IN PAIN!!!
    I'M ALITTLE SORE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I WENT TO GIRL'S BASKETBALL CONDITIONING YESTERDAY. FAT PEOPLE STAY AWAY FROM THAT SPORT. YOU...WILL...DIE!!!! OK ANYWAY. I'M ALSO PISSED BECAUSE SOME COWARD IN THIS SKOOL IS SAYING ME AND HEATHER ARE HAVING SOME SECRET LOVE AFFAIR. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT A$$ SAID THAT AND IF THEY HAVE THAT MUCH BALLS TO SAY STUFF COME TO MY FACE. I CALLED BECCA YESTERDAY AND I TALKED TO APRIL THIS MORNING AND SHE TOLD ME WHAT BECCA'S MOTHER SAID TO HERE. I WON'T SAY IT, BUT ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS THAT IT WAS NOT RIGHT AND SHE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HIT.(BECCA'S MOM I MEAN) I FEEL KIND-OF BAD FOR HER. I HATE TO SEE HER UPSET. I SHOULD AND WILL CALL HER LATER. ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO GO BECAUSE MY HEAD HURTS AND I NEED A CIG AND A DRINK. TALK TO ME LINDA, WHAT'S GOING ON?£

    Current Mood: indescribable
    Current Music: SOAP AND CIGARETTES-REBECCA DAUGHTRY
    Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
    10:07 am
    FEELING CREATIVE TODAY
    COME TO FIND OUT I'M NOT OFF THE FORENSIC'S TEAM. COOL...BEANS(WHIMPERS) OK ANYWAY, I WROTE THIS PEOM TODAY. IT WAS SOME THING I NEEDED TO GET OFF MY CHEST SO I WROTE IT DOWN AND HERE IT IS:

    I NEVER KNEW

    I NEVER KNEW I COULD FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX.
    I NEVER KNEW I THAT BEING WITH THEM COULD BE SO COMPLEX.
    I ALWAYS HAVE TO HIDE MY WAYS SO NO OTHER PERSON CAN SEE.
    BUT PRETTY SOON I'LL TELL THE WORLD AND THEY'LL REALLY KNOW THE REAL ME.

    I NEVER KNEW THAT KISSING YOU COULD REALLY LIGHT MY FIRE.
    I NEVER KNEW THAT YOU HOLDING ME COULD MAKE MY BLOOD PRESSURE GO HIGHER.
    I CHERISH THE TIMES WE ARE TOGETHER LOOKING INTO YOU PRETTY BLUE EYES.
    YOU ALWAYS WIPE AWAY MY TEARS AND YOU WOW ME WITH YOU ADVICE.

    I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY DEEP DOWN IN YOU HEART.
    I NEVER KNEW THE OUR PAST HISTORY, I PLAYED A MAJOR PART.
    I LOVED TO BRAG ABOUT YOU TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS.
    BUT AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT, THAT WAS THE REASON WE DID END.

    I KNOW I'M JUST A LITTLE GIRL AND I HAVE GROWING UP TO DO.
    I KNOW THAT I CAN BE THE VERY BEST THING FOR YOU.
    I'LL TRY BY BEST; I'LL TRY MY HARDEST AND I WILL BE FOREVER TRUE.
    MY LIFE BEFORE WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE IT WAS LOVE I NEVER KNEW.


    I MADE THAT UP IN LIKE 20 MINUTES. I JUST THOUGTH I WOULD WRITE THAT. OBVIOUSLY IT'S ABOUT BECCA, BUT SHE DOESN'T UPDATE HER BLURTY ANYMORE SO SHE MIGHT NOT GET TO SEE IT. *sighs* OH WELL I'LL TALK TO HER LATER AND I'LL TALK TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHENEVER I SEE YOU GUYS. PEACE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO YOU AND YOURS. BAH-BYE!!!

    Current Mood: creative
    Current Music: Saliva- Rest in Pieces
    Monday, October 27th, 2003
    8:41 am
    TODAY IS A GOOD DAY!!
    i finally did it. i need to. i broke up with jontae. i realized i didn't need him presuring me. i reallu don't want to have sex just yet. i guess i was only went with him so my mom can get off my back about the whole me being bi thing even though i am. oh well i'm back with someone else, becca. i'm not going to mess this up this time. i was a big baby before and i need to grow up and be a woman. i don't think i can afford to lose her again. it was hard to lose her before with all the heartache and loneliness. i would rather go threw hard times with her then have hard times with perverted jontae. i'm happy and i don't what my friends say. you guys should be happy for and anyone has a problem with that...GET OVER IT!! it shouldn't be anybody's business what i do and who i date so everyone get off my back. ok...sorry...i seem like i'm yelling, i 'm not. sorry ...lost the happy...but the happy's back!!!

    i had a good weekend away from my mother. she left for new york for a class renuion. it was the best two days of my life. ok i have a geometry test to take and i need to study. see you guys on the flip side!!! love peace and black eyed peasZ

    Current Mood: horny
    Current Music: dash confessional- hands down
    Friday, October 24th, 2003
    2:56 pm
    IT'S ABOUT TIME
    I FINALLY HAD A GOOD DAY. NOTHING WENT WRONG TODAY. BUT LET ME NOT SPEAK TO SOON. I STILL HAVE TO GO HOME. WHO KNOWS WHAT DIABOLICAL, SCARY, FREAKY, UGLY,SMELLY EVENT COULD HAPPEN WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE HOME OF (BUM BUM BUM)...KIRBY!!!! YOU IT SENDS SHIVERS UP MY SPINE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. *hides behind her mother's skirt* OK ANYWAY. I HAVE TO GO BECUASE THE BELL IS GOING TO RING AND I NEED A CIG. CIAO FOR NOW. HEY I'M A POET AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT LOL¬

    Current Mood: horny
    Current Music: SWITCHFOOT- MEANT TO LIVE
    11:03 am
    DAMN COMPUTER
    EVERY TIME I WRITE A BIG ENTRY IT NEVER SAVES. TECHNOLOGY SUX BUTT. ANYWAY HAD TO GET THAT OUT OF MY SYSTEM. ANYWHO I'M HERE AT THE LIBRARY TRYING TO ESCAPE FROM THE BOREDOM THAT IS GOVERNMENT CLASS AND COME HERE AND FREEZING MY BUTT OFF IN THE LIBRARY. I FELL ASLEEP IN CLASS AND HAD A DREAM I WAS HAVING SEX WITH JONTAE PUSHED UP AGAINST MR. WILLIS' CHALKBOARD. WHOA MAJOR BONERAGE!!!!! I PROBABLY HAD THE ENTIRE CONSTITUTION STUCK ON THE BACK OF MY HEAD IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. OH WELL. IT WAS A GOOD DREAM UNTIL I WOKE UP. AND I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN. DARNIT. WE DIDN'T GO TO THE MOVIES THIS MORNING. DARN I REALLY WANTED TO CUT SCHOOL AND GO. I NEED A BREAK. I HAVEN'T SEEN NICOLE THOMPSON'S A$$ AROUND LATELY AND IT BETTER STAY THAT WAY. BECAUSE OF HER I WAS KICKED OFF THE FORENSICS TEAM. THAT BIOTCH IS GOING TO PAY FOR THAT. SHE WANTS TO PRESS CHARGES ON VICKY, BOBBI, ANGELA, AND PAULA. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT GUYS. OK SEE YA LATER.

    APRIL I HOPE YOU ARE OK. APRIL-U-WHERE ARE YOU? LOL

    Current Mood: horny
    Current Music: BILLY TALENT-TRY HONESTY
    Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
    12:04 pm
    I'M FREE
    I DON'T HAVE TO SERVE ANYMORE SUSPENSIONS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF NICOLE. I HATE HER. I HOPE SHE FRYS. AS FOR MY FRIENDS WITH THE RESTAINING ORDER(YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU SHOULD LET HER GET IN TRUOBLE HER SELF. NICOLE BETTER STAY AWAY FROM ME. OUR FRIENDSHIP IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER. SHE BETTER NOT ASK ME FOR NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING. SHE HAS JUST BROKE MY FRAGILE LITTLE HEART. OK ENOUGH OF THE WIMP STUFF. I DON'T CARE. I HAVE ALOT OF FRIENDS-HEATHER-ANGELA-BOBBI-PAULA-ARPIL-JENNI M.-JENNIFER-GEORGE-KAREN-SARA-TIM-TROY-TAMIKA-MEGAN-CRISSY-LINDA-BECCA-JILL-JOE-AND IF I FORGOT ANYBODY BLAME MY MIND NOT MY HEART BECAUSE AT THIS POINT I'M PISSED AND HIGH LOL.OK I NEED TO GO I'M TIRED BYE BYE

    HEY LINDA
    HELLO LIGHT HELLO LIGHT

    HEY APRIL
    OOO-WEE-OO
    HONK HONK HONK HONK
    HI-HO SILVER AAAWWWWAAAAY

    Current Mood: horny
    Current Music: BILLY TALENT-TRY HONEST
    Monday, October 20th, 2003
    2:37 pm
    i'm fed up
    i'm have a bad day again. it's bad enough that i feel bad about ruining somebody's relationship with there new girlfriend, but now i know who is the one who is talking trash about me and trying to get me jumped. this is the only entry where i will submi t a real persons name and i don't care you tells her. it's nicole thompson. she has been going around making up stuff that i didn't even say and spreading them around school and she was the one along with john, who was telling the entire school about what we did on last thursday at the Nauticus trip to Norfolk. i have a right micd to smack her. i so hate her. i feel bad. i ruined a certain somebody's relationship and i didn't mean to, but the thing is i didn't say anything. now these certain people hate me and now i feel like crap. my english teacher is a moron too. i know i'm in a special class but i don't want to have to feel like i'm really stupid. i'm a senior still learning where to put a period and what a noun is. this is so stupid. i can't trust anybody anymore. i don' have friends, i don't have a life, i don't have anything. WHY? becuase everyone thinks they can just walk all over me like a rug. and i'm sick of this. i'm tired of being talked about, i'm tired of people always calling my a lesb@^9 even though i'm not, i'm tired of nicole's mess. i'm... just fed up that's all. i don't want to be here and now i have to deal with my mom and her mouth of why i have detention. i don't think i can trust anybody anymore. ever ever ever!!! i don't know why people even bother with me. and i don't know why i bother with them. i guess i'm just meant to be by myself and unloved. that's it. everyone who doesn't like me, just stop with the petty crap and if you don't like me don't hang out with me. cause obviously i'm not good enough for some people. i try day after day to be a good person, i stuck up for nicole when all those girls wanted to fight her and this is the thanks i get. that was a waste of my time.

    it's bad enough i had a horrible life in new york, you would think i could come down here and start life a new, but of course there has to be the dumb crowd who just gases up your head thinking that you have a real friend until they stab you in the back. i'm not meant to be here. do what you guys want to do from now on. you don't even have to call or bother with me anymore. i won't be in your way. may be i am meant to be alone and not have friends since i can't find any decent one no matter where i go. if i do have some real friends out there(i doubt it), please comment. let me know if i am wanted or am i here just for everyone amusement. have a nice life people. this is kirby_athena signing out. good bye and nice to know you.9

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: GOOD BYE, NICE RO KNOW YOU - INCUBUS
    10:26 am
    just alittle note.
    i finally finished this poem i was writing so i thought i would share with you guys. the subject is alittle out of date so bare with it. here we go:

    FED UP

    do not cry, for you tears phase me not
    do not see, for the fire in my eyes makes me hot
    do not speak, for your words pour out lies
    do not touch, for the feeling is blocked by my cries

    do not wonder, because your thoughts are imaginary
    do not look, for your face is oh so scary
    do not fly, for your hate keeps you on the ground
    do not hear, for you can not hear a sound

    only sit, because you stand for nothing
    only feel, cause you are no where near loving
    only stare, still as an ancient statue
    only love, because sadly i'm not mad at you

    i'm fed up because you don't understand me
    i'm fed up cause i'm not what i really can be
    i'm fed up cause i can't stop thinking about you
    and your fed up because you can't stop thinking about me too!


    ok that's it. over all i'm alittle upset becuase april's grandmother bean died. i knew her. things happen for a reason and i guess god said it was her time to go. i guess he would want her close to him and i can't blame him. i hope where ever she is, she is looking down on us and smiling.

    i need to get a life. i'm just really...whatever today. i guess i'll go and do...stuff. bye people

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: NickelBack- Someday
    Friday, October 17th, 2003
    11:48 am
    WHAT A DAY!!
    I'M HAVING A PRETTY GOOD DAY. IT'S PEP RALLY DAY AND I'M PISSED. I 'M NOT SINGING FOR THE PEP RALLY. WHY? BECAUSE MS. CHURCH IS GAY. NOW I'M ONLY SINGING FOR HOMECOMING. THERE'S NO POINT. IF I'M NOT SINGING FOR THE PEP RALLY WHY DO I HAVE TO SING FOR HOMECOMING. THE BAND CAN DO IT. I HAD A PRETTY ROUGH MORNING. I WAS SO NERVOUS THIS MORNING BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS FGOING TO GET JUMPED. BUT I'M OK. I'M STILL HERE. ALL IS FORGIVEN, I THINK. I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO IT BECUASE IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS, SO I'LL TALK TO MY FRIENDS LATER. HOLLA!!!

    Current Mood: nervous
    Current Music: DESPERATE-PERFECT CIRCLE
    Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
    2:27 pm
    ALOHA PEOPLE
    IT'S HAWIIAIN DAY AND I'M HERE IS GEOMETRY. ___COUSIN ____LIKES ME. BUT I CAN'T GO WITH HER BECAUSE I'M WITH JONTA. I FEEL BAD NOW BECAUSE I LIKE HER. I WOULD DATE HER BUT I'M WITH SOMEONE AND I LOVE HIM. BUT THE SITUATION WITH ___, I DIDN'T DESERVE TO GET CURSED AT. I ASKED ONE SIMPLE QUESTION. WHAT WAS THE REAL REASON YOU BROKE UP WITH ME. IF ___WANTS _____, SHE CAN HAVE HER. I DON'T CARE. WELL WHATEVER. I'M NOT FIGHTING OVER NO GIRL. TO BE QUITE HONEST, I'M ALITTLE SCARED TO. I THINK SHE CAN KICK MY A$$. (SHAKING) SO I'LL TALK TO ALL MY FRIENDS LATER. BYE BYE PEOPLE.P

    Current Mood: PISSED THE F*** OFF
    Current Music: PERFECT CIRCLE- DESPERATE
[ << Previous 20 ]
About Blurty.com