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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
I am one, and I bet you are too...
Last week I was really upset when I was pulled over and fined £30 for speaking on my mobile phone whilst at the traffic lights. I wasn't actually driving at the time, and was planning a brief call while the lights were on red, and got caught. Irritating.
"You're lucky we're only fining you. We could put points on your licence."
Oh thanks SO much...
Despite my bitterness, I'm prepared to admit that it's a fair cop: I was breaking the law and I knew it. However, I'm a small fish in a big ocean really, and I couldn't help thinking that there were more important crimes for the Police to be monitoring, and then my cynicism kicked in. In a similar way to the Police not actually making it priority to put speed cameras in black spots, and put them where they'll make the most money, I can't help thinking that I was a victim of money making policing in favour of actual effective crime prevention. While I was being bollocked and patronised, a distraught and bloody young man ran up to the Police Officers and pleaded for help as his friends were getting assaulted in an alley close by. Cold as ice, one of the officers spoke into a walkie talkie requesting another officer go to the scene, and then promptly ignored the upset youth and continued to book me. Is it me, or are the priorities a little warped there?
As my angered mind wandered, I wondered how utterly fucked I would be if I got caught every time I committed a crime. Okay, here is a list of my crimes over the last week.
- Dangerous Driving (speaking on a mobile telephone whilst in control of a motor vehicle)
- Dangerous Driving x 14 (speeding - that's actually only 14 journeys, not 14 occurrences)
- Drunk and Disorderly x 2 (Getting drunk on two nights out)
- Carrying An Offensive Weapon (taking them to work before a class as opposed to straight to class is considered an offence even for a martial artist with a licence)
- Slander (Dissing a girl I don't like)
- Theft x 8 (printing out personal documents at work)
- Theft x 3 (Using the post at work for personal mail)
- Theft (nicking drawing pins, paperclips and elastic bands from work)
- Theft (downloading copywrite material)
- Theft (watching a pirate DVD)
- Fraud x 4 (surfing the internet at work when I should have been working)
- Fraud x 3 (copying three of Rob's CDs to my hard drive)
- Fraud x 15 (filling my memory stick full of albums and giving it to my brother to transfer onto his PC)
- Indecency (kissing Rob in public)
- Gross Indecency x mind your own business (apparently, gay sex in a dwelling without the door being double locked is still considered to be gross indecency)
I can't even begin to think how much that'd cost in fines and how long I'd go behind bars for that. I'm guessing I'd be bankrupt and there for life though!
Have fun,
M x
* Disclaimer
This blog entry is not intended to be an admission of guilt, merely an example of a the potential behaviour in typical week of an average citizen of the United Kingdom. These examples are used to make a point and as satire only.
Current mood:
okay.Current music: Wicked Young Man by Alice Cooper.