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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
It's funny the crapola you think about when you're being insomniac...
I couldn't sleep last night, and I got thinking about The Twelve Days of Christmas as it had been on Classic FM just before I went to bed.
How impractical would the 12 presents that the person got from their 'true love' have actually have been? Thinking about it, the true love was a bit rubbish and should have spent the money on practical gifts and holidays.
Here's what the protagonist got:
1 Partridge in a pear tree
2 Turtle Doves
3 French Hens
4 Calling Birds
5 Golden Rings
6 Geese A-laying
7 Swans A-swimming
8 Maids A-milking
9 Ladies Dancing
10 Lords A-leaping
11 Pipers Piping
12 Drummers Drumming
Okay, a Partridge would be good to cook, and a pear tree would look pretty in your garden. I supposed that 5 Golden Rings would be okay if you were into bling or your 'true love' didn't get huffy if you sold them. 6 Geese A-laying would be okay if you like goose eggs/ goose, and with 8 Maids A-milking, I guess you'd get 8 cows, which would be worth a few pence and you'd have lots of beef/ milk. The rest of the presents are rubbish, and even these presents, to reap the benefits, you'd need a bloody big garden (and what if you live in a flat, like me?!). So impractical for modern living!
8 Maids A-milking, 9 Ladies Dancing, 10 Lords A-leaping, 11 Pipers Piping, 12 Drummers Drumming: where did these people come from? Do they all have to get paid? Who can afford to pay 51 members of staff? If they're slaves, then who would condone such shocking breach of human rights?!
1 Partridge, 2 Turtle Doves, 3 French Hens, 4 Calling Birds, 6 Geese A-laying, 7 Swans A-swimming, 11 Pipers Piping, 12 Drummers Drumming: good grief! What a racket that'd make! It'd drive you to despair!
Thinking about it, how much of a crap lover was the true love?! Imagine what could have been bought instead of all that! He should have spoken to his mates, or his mum or something instead of buying all that. If Rob bought all that crapola for me, I'd dump him!
Have fun,
M x
Current mood:
silly.Current music: The Twelve Days of Christmas!.