 |
Journal | Friends | Calendar | User Info | Memories |
'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
What's the betting that this lasts less than a week...
I'm knackered.
I work on the 8th Floor, and the lift is slow and unreliable and often smells. I made the decision today that I will never use the lift again. Doing the stairs is good for you, and keeps you fit. This is a good thing.
Two trips up eight flights already today, and I'm starting to regret that decision. I am also vexed. I am a Ninja, and I'm supposed to be fit and badass and have much stamina, yet eight measly flights of stairs has got me out of breathe. Admittedly, I ran them, but even so.
Basically, I am posting this up because I am resolving to do this, and I solemnly promise that if I do take the lift, I will admit to it on this blog. I don't want to do that as I will be tellig the world what a wimp I am. And Ninjas aren't wimps.
Have fun,
M
Current mood:
cynical.Current music: First We Take Manhatten by Leonard Cohen.
Am I a prude?
A good friend circulated an invite to a nudist holiday by email today, and I shortly and sharply told him a big no. The thought of going to a nudist beach/ holiday camp fills me with dread.
But since then, I've been thinking... Why?!
Okay, I always used to think I had the smallest penis in the world. I was petrified that when I got it out in front of someone I was going to have sex with, they'd laugh. Then I got over it, and finally got some. Then I wanted more, and got it and I started seeing some cocks, and realised that I didn't have anything like the smallest penis in the world. I aint the biggest boy on the planet, sure, but I'm definitely not the smallest either. I know it's a truly sad thing to say, but discovering this actually helped my confidence as a sexual being. Of course, like every man, I wish I was hung like Champion the Wonder Horse, but I'm not.
So why am I still so nauseated at the thought of going to a nudist thing? Is it a British thing? Is it something deep rooted in the culture of where I was brought up that getting your willy out is such a taboo? I don't think so. After all, I've whacked it out in front of blokes who were perfect strangers who happened to have a pretty face and wink at me in a nightclub after a few glasses of Lambrini. I've had sex with friends, and have friends I've made because I had sex with them - so I've seen their cocks too. The more I think about it, it makes less and less sense. But I really, really couldn't do the nudist thing.
There is the thing that I'm scared that I'll get a stiffy. It really doesn't take that much for me to get a stiffy. Half a minute's snog with my boyfriend, a picture of a fit lad with his clothes off on the internet, waking up in the morning, a rude thought about Orlando Bloom... What would happen if you got a stiffy at a nudist camp? Would you get kicked out? Would everyone join in? Apparently, 'it doesn't happen because it's not a sexual situation' I've been told by people who've done it. I suppose I get that inasmuch as I've seen nudity in non-sexual context and not got a rock on (eg: I never get a hardon watching the wrestling on telly).
As usual, I've come up with no good reason or answer, but the simple fact is, you'll never see me on a nudist beach.
Have fun,
M
Current mood:
confused.Current music: Year 3000 by Busted (check out phee's blog story for why).