'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal

24th May, 2004. 1:50 pm. Sorry, I Was Uninspired & Bored

So when I saw this on Jadash's blog, I did it for no other reason that I can...

Have fun,

M

200 QUESTIONS

BASICS
1. Your gender: Male
2. Straight/gay/bi?: Definitely of the homosexual persuasion
3. Single?: Yeah...
4. Want to be?: Lots of things that I'm not
5. Your birth day: 16th September 2004
6. Age you act: Sometimes, but the majority of the time I'm an 18 year old wannabe
7. Age you wish you were: 18 or 19
8. Your height: 6ft 1
9. The color of your eyes: Strange green with brown around the pupils
10. Happy with it?: Well I don't know anyone else with that colour eyes, so at least I'm unique.
11. The color of your hair: boring mousey brown
12. Happy with it?: Nope - always wanted blonde or black hair
13. Left/right/ambidextrous?: Leftie
14. Your living arrangement?: On my own in what's called a 'studio' (posh for bedsit)
15. Your family: Mom, Dad, my bro D
16. What's your job?: Clerical work for Salford Uni Careers Service
17. Any piercings?: Used to have my nipple done in my late teens
18. Any tattoos?: No
19. Any obsessions?: Alphabetising things. Lists.
20. Do you speak another language?: Not really - know bits of French, Sapnish and (the martial arts stuff) Japanese.
21. Have a favorite quote?: "To hide the truth does not change the truth"
22. Do you have a webpage?: Just this blog, and my gaydar profile
23. Do you have a weblog or journal?: This is it!
24. Favorite band/singer?: Extremely difficult to answer, but band of the moment is The Crystal Method
25. Favorite song?: Contradanza by Vanessa Mae

DEEP THOUGHTS
26. Do you live in the moment?: Yes and no.
27. Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes, but I do struggle to tolerate the intolerant (if that makes sense)
28. Do you have any secrets?: Yes
29. Do you hate yourself?: No
30. Do you like your handwriting?: Unless I make a real effort, it's a bit scribbley.
31. Do you have any bad habits?: Oh yes
32. What is the compliment you get most from people? "Nice guy"
33. If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: The Sublime to The Ridiculous
34. What's your biggest fear?: That I'll never find someone
35. Can you sing: I'm not tone deaf, but my range is pitiful
36. Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Never. I don't particularly want to be 'cool'
37. Are you a loner?: Can be. I definitely enjoy my own company, and love living on my own. However, I have lots of friends and like it that way.
38. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Yeah - I have great taste in film!
39. Are you a daredevil?: I can be in some contexts, but not really when it comes to men
40. Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I'm not keen on my cynicism, arrogance, and tendancy to chronically lazy
41. Are you passive or aggressive?: Passive aggressive
42. What is your greatest strength and weakness?: My strength is probably my compassion and empathy, and my weakness is probably the fact I get extremely angry at people who have none
43. If you could change one thing about yourself? The fact I fall in love so easily, and get hurt lots
44. There are three wells- love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Love
45. How do you vent?: Blog, good mates
46. Do you think you are emotionally strong?: No, I collapse at rejection
47. Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Lots of things, particularly the 'not doing'
48. Do you think life has been good so far?: Yes...I am lucky to have what I have, and am happy 99% of the time
49. What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: It's better to regret something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done
50. What do you like the most about your body?: The fact it's in better shape than it once was
51. And least?: What do most men think is too small?
52. Do you think you are good looking?: I can look great and I can look shite. To some extent, I believe your physical attractiveness can match your mood and attitude too
53. Are you confident?: If you beleive the facade
54. What is the fictional character you're most like?: As much as I am loathe to admit it: Brigit Jones
55. Do people know how you feel? Yes - I am always open and wear my heart on my sleeve. Gets me into trouble sometimes

DO YOU...
56. Smoke cigarettes?: No
57. Do drugs?: No
58. Read the newspaper?: The free one on the bus sometimes
59. Pray?: No
60. Go to church? No
61. Talk to strangers who IM you?: Yes, but will block them if they're dull
62. Sleep with stuffed animals?: No
63. Take walks in the rain?: Only when I have to, and certainly not for pleasure
64. Talk to people even though you hate them?: Yes - I don't like hurting people
65. Drive?: I can, yes, but Doris (my car) is currently off the road

HAVE YOU EVER...
66. Liked your voice?: No - I am cursed with a voice that sounds like I'm gargling gravel, and people assume because I have a Midlands lilt, that I'm thick
67. Hurt yourself?: Not deliberately
68. Been out of the country?: France, Spain, Portugal, Corfu, Germany, Italy, the States, Mexico, Malta, the Netherlands, and probably a couple more I've forgotten
69. Eaten something that made other people sick?: Nuts? I know people with nut allergies
70. Burped?: And won competitions
71. Been unfaithful?: Once... And I've never felt so damned evil
72. Been in love?: Don't think so
73. Done drugs?: Only weed
74. Gone skinny dipping?: No
75. Had a surgery?: Not cosmetic, but I had an operation on the tendons in my hand once
76. Ran away from home?: No
77. Played strip poker?: [grin] Yes - happy memories
78. Gotten beaten up?: Yes, for being white and just happeneing to be there for something to do
79. Been picked on?: Not to an extent where I'm emotionally scarred
80. Been on stage?: School plays, yes
81. Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: Yes, I'm afraid
82. Slept outdoors?: Fair few times actually
83. Thought about suicide?: Yes, but only fleetingly
84. Pulled an all-nighter?: Yeah
85. If yes, what is your record?: Probably only about 36 hours or so
86. Gone one day without food?: When ill
87. Talked on the phone all night?: Oh yes
88. Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yes
89. Slept all day? Yup - after my first Glastonbury
90. Killed someone?: Really, really, no
91. Made out with a stranger?: [wry smile] Oh yes
92. Had sex with a stranger?: [even wryer smile] Oh yes
93. Thought you were going crazy?: Nah
94. Kissed the same sex?: Maybe a few times [grin]
95. Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Yes, and am gagging for some more
96. Been betrayed?: Yes
97. Had a dream that came true?: Alas, I can never remember my dreams
98. Broken the law?: Only silly things that everyone does like speeding, copying CDs, etc
99. Met a famous person?: Fair few, and I went to school with Beverley Knight
100. Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Yeah. A pigeon on my windscreen: it's feathers flew everywhere and I couldn't help but think it looked a bit like a firework (and yeah, I did feel guilty)
101. Stolen anything?: Only if chocolate biscuits from my mum counts
102. Been on radio/TV?: A whole year of the Saint and Greavsie show (on the theme tune)
103. Been in a mosh-pit?: Yes indeed - but my wild days are gone
104. Had a nervous breakdown?: No, but it looked possible at one point
105. Considered a religious vocation?: Definitely not
106. Been criticized about your sexual performance?: Yes, and it was thoroughly deserved (I passed out)
107. Bungee jumped?: No, but would love to!
108. Had a dream that kept coming back?: No - can't remember dreams
109. Been on an airplane?: Yes
110. Gotten caught cheating?: No, in both the exam and boyfriend contexts of the word

CLOTHES
111. Shoe brand?: Converse
112. Brand of clothing?: The majority of my wardrobe is from Primark
113. What are you normally wearing to school/work?: Black trousers and a shirt (not tie)
114. Wear hats?: Very rarely
115. Judge other people by their clothing?: Sadly, I do. After all, am I really likely to get on with someone in a Man U top with his trackies tucked into his white socks and more bling than Ali G?
116. Wear make-up?: Have done when I've really been going for the gothic look, and I do like nail varnish
117. Favorite place to shop?: Manchester City Centre
118. Favorite article of clothing?: My dressing gown
119. Are you trendy?: No. No designer gear in my wardrobe, and the majority is 'alternative'
120. Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: No - I'd prefer to not have to iron

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
121. Life on other planets?: Seems to make sense
122. Miracles?: No
123. Astrology?: No
124. Magic?: No
125. God?: No
126. Satan?: No
127. Santa?: No
128. Luck?: No
129. Love at first sight?: It's a lovely concept, but no
130. Yin and Yang?: Yes - the world is about balance
131. Witches?: Well, yeah, I have a friend who is one. But not in the cackling and broomsticks sense, no
132. Easter bunny?: No
133. Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: I hope so, but I don't believe
134. Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: No
135. Do you wish on stars?: Yes

RELATIONSHIPS
136. Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: Oh yes
137. Do you remember your first love?: Yes
138. Still love him/her?: No
139. Do you consider love a mistake?: Love is risky, but never a mistake
140. What do you find romantic?: Thoughtful moments/ presents/ texts/ emails/ &c that prove they're thinking of you all day and moments of genuine affection shown by tactileness.
141. Turn-on?: Physically: Specs, slim build, ginger hair, pretty face. Emotionally: Sense of humour, honesty
142. Turn-off?: Pysically: bad posture, obesity. Emotionally: arrogance, callousness
143. Do you base your judgment on looks alone?: No, but I do take them into account
144. If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: Flattered but uncomfortable. In fact, it's one of my nightmare situations
145. Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: Think I prefer blind
146. Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out?: Don't care
147. Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: Ish
148. Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Don't care (but I do care if the boyz do!)
149. What is best about the opposite sex?: That they are uncomplicated friends
150. What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: PMT
151. What's the last present someone gave you?: A friend bought me some aftershave because I've never worn it before
152. Are you in love?: No
153. Do you consider your significant other hot?: N/A
154.What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: If I was on my own, try to catch his eye and smile if I did. If with mates, I'd point him out and start talking about him
155. Do you fantasize about other people?: Regularly - much better than porn

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
156. That haunted you?: A guy I was seeing for a while
157. You wanted to kill?: Posh Spice
158. That you laughed at?: Laughed AT, not with... Um, probably some random celebrity in Heat magazine
159. That laughed at you?: I don't want to know
160. That turned you on?: Random guy on Friday night in a puff club in Hull
161. That broke your heart?: Tony, my last serious boyfriend, but I got over it
162. To disappoint you?: A guy I was seeing who didn't listen to what I said
163. To ask you out?: Sadly, the guy from 162
164. To make you cry?: Tony - incident 161
165. To brighten up your day?: Chris, an old school friend with a particularly amusing email
166. That you thought about?: Well, Chris, obviously, as I was answering 165
167. You saw a movie with?: My 'film buddy' Margaret, and mates Gary and Paul
168. You talked to on the phone?: Mum and Dad
169. You talked to through IM?: Random gaydar guy with a pretty face and ginger hair
170. You saw?: Gary - he sits opposite me at work
171. You lost?: Depends on the context. The last person I lost that I didn't want to lose was Gemma Tindle, an old friend from school who I miss greatly
172. You thought was completely insane?: George W Bush
173. You wanted to be?: David Beckham
174. You told off?: A graduate on the Gateway course who was consistently late. I proper layed into him!
175. You trusted?: I trust anyone who I think is decent enough to be close to me

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...
176. Smiled?: About ten seconds ago, thinking of people in the last section
177. Laughed?: A silly email forward this morning
178. Cried?: Watching a film on my own
179. Bought something?: A book on Yoga on Saturday
180. Danced?: Saturday night to ROCK in a club called Spiders (if my arm flailing mess can be called dancing)
181. Were sarcastic?: Every singe day of my adult life
182. Hugged someone?: Alfie and Jodie as I left Hull
183. Talked to an ex?: Tony, last night
184. Watched your favorite movie?: I could never name a favourite film, so can't answer that
185. Had a nightmare?: No idea - never remember dreams
186. Talked on the phone?: Last night to Mum and Dad, Tony, my bro, and Chinese Tom
187. Listened to the radio?: About a week ago - not really my thing, the wireless
188. Watched TV?: Yesterday evening - Sex and the City as I did my ironing
189. Went out?: Saturday night to Spiders
190. Helped someone?: IT advice to a colleague earlier this morning
191. Were mean?: Ignored someone's call over the weekend
192. Sang?: Last night whilst doing the washing up
193. Saw a movie in a theater?: Van Helsing last Monday, and I'm going to see The Twilight Samurai tonight
194. Ate at a sit-down restaurant?: Had a pub lunch carvery on Sunday if that counts
195. Rode a bicycle?: It has to be about 5 years!
196. Gave someone a piggyback ride?: Probably relatively recently on a big night out, but alcahol has fried my brain
197. Played a sport?: Don't really do sport - Ninja keeps me fit
198. Sent someone an actual letter in the mail?: mid-2001
199. Went to the doctor?: Last week for a general check up
200. Used public transportation?: This morning on my way to work

Current mood:

bored.
Current music: Buried Alive By Love by Him.

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