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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
I seriously think I'm becoming more and more puerile as I get older...
I went out last night in the Village with my mates Andy and Tom. As a threesome, we really are terrible: camp, childish, loud, and silly. As a rule, we always try and do something outrageous. Last night was no different. We went to Autobarn in the Village, and decided that we were on a bit of a mission, but it needed to be cheap. My suggestion was that we buy a bottle of wine each and sit there and drink it very quickly like the alchies we are. However, it was Andy that came up with the coup de gras. Andy asked the barman for three halves of lager with the rims frosted! So the barman served us with three bottles of wine, three glasses and three halves of Fosters with sugared rims.
The three of us found this absolutely hilarious (and I am still giggling as I write this). I think we need help...
Have fun,
M
Current mood:
amused.Current music: Rio by Duran Duran.
I fear it...
You know the scenario: you go into a department store and you are immediately accosted by the parfumerie. It's really, really horrible. It's not just the stink, it's the orange ladies - the scary, scary female creatures who populate Orange Lady Hell. These Orange Ladies really do have orange faces from all the make up/ fake tan/ goodness knows what they put on their faces. They're orange, dammit, orange! They also have those horrible smirky smiles that ooze 'I'm only smiling because I want to con you'. They also all charge at you and attack you with bottles of perfume. Ugh! Even the thought of it makes me shudder.
I hate feeling like I'm in the wrong place. Everyone knows the feeling where you look at yourself, then look at everyone else around you, and you just feel immediately uncomfortable. Now Orange Lady Hell is a place where that feeling of foreboding is massive. The smell, the Orange Ladies who attack you with perfume, and the maze like stands from various different brand's (each complete with at least one Orange Lady) just freaks me. Bloody department stores do it every time: there is no way you can avoid Orange Lady Hell because all the bloody entrances into the bloody store go into that section. Almost without exception all department stores do this. This deeply upsets me and puts me off going into department stores, because I am so scared of Orange Lady Hell.
Why? Am I the only person who hates and fears Orange Lady Hell? I can't be, surely? If this is the case, why do department stores torture me and my kind so?
Have fun,
M
Current mood:
scared.Current music: Tijuana Lady by Gomez.
Classic.
I used to love those Ferrero Rocher adverts set at the Ambassador's Reception: "Excellente!", "Delitcious!", and my favourite "Monsieur, with these rocher you're really spoiling us." You never were quite sure if it was ironic or not. For my part, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't, and that only adds to it's charm, especially as once the company eventually realised it, they still left it on the air because it was so popular.
This makes it particularly sad that the new Ferrero Rocher advert is apparently a modernisation of The Ambassador's Reception. I've not seen it, but even so, I can't help thinking that it will have lost some of its adhering charm and kitsch value. I don't understand why they don't just repeat the old one actually. Don't they know that appealing to people's nostalgia is where it's at these day? Also, They've gone for the 'right on' approach and made the Ambassador a woman which is just so sickly - all that proves is that they're trying too hard to be PC.
I now have the theme tune from that through my head...
Have fun,
M
Current mood:
contemplative.Current music: Theme from the Ferrero ads..