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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
I have an unemployed friend who is really bored. He was actually arsed to do an alternative version of the thingy I did yesterday. Once again, I thought I'd post up here and invite other people to do the cut and paste thing as well...
1. WHAT'S YOUR ABSOLUTE EARLIEST MEMORY (NO MATTER HOW VAGUE/FICTIONAL)? HOW OLD WERE YOU? When I was very little, my dad was up the Cooking apple tree in our garden, and dropping them down for me to catch in a fishing net.
2. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED EATING COPYDEX? Of course I have - I was 6 once, you know.
3. WHAT'S THE WORST TASTING NON-FOOD SUBSTANCE YOU'VE EVER TRIED EATING? Orange scented soap DOES NOT taste like oranges.
4. HAVE YOU EVER HIT AN OLD PERSON (EITHER ACCIDENTALLY OR ON PURPOSE)? No, but nearly did when some old c*nt parked infront of my drive and then proceeded to accuse ME of being in the wrong.
5. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU REALLY WANTED TO (NO.3) AND WHY? Last night after a conversation with my beau about what he's going to do to me the next time we see each other. I had one too...
6. WHO WAS THE PERSON YOU HATED MOST AT JUNIOR SCHOOL? WHY? DO YOU STILL HATE THEM NOW? Matthew Salter - He bullied me horrendously at Scouts (both verbally and physically). He was fat bastard and I will always hate him: I hope he is on the dole and incontinent.
7. DITTO (No6) FOR SENIOR SCHOOL. Hmmmmm... this is difficult. Ajay Rattu hit me in the mouth for nor reason and not only scarred me but damned me to drinking slightly to the left forever more. However, Richard Simpson spat in my pizza. I'll go with DJ Ratty. Still hate him too (would like to get the last laugh and bludgeon him mercilessly with my bo staff).
8. IF SOMEONE HANDED YOU A PLATE OF DELICIOUS LOOKING FOOD BUT TOLD YOU IT WAS DOLPHIN MEAT WOULD YOU EAT IT? To be honest, I probably would, yeah.
9. IS THERE ANY ANIMAL YOU WOULDN'T EAT DUE TO (a)YOUR PRINCIPLES? OR (b) FEARS ABOUT SAID ANIMAL'S CLEANLINESS? I have eaten loads of mad meats over the year, and would pretty much eat anything I was told is edible if it looked tasty.
10. WHAT DID YOU DO TO RECIEVE THE MOST SERIOUS BOLLOCKING OF YOUR CHILDHOOD? Strangely I can't seem to remember. I DO remember that the bollocking involved a slipper though! Never did me any harm. Gibber!
11. WHAT'S THE MOST VIVID/MEMORABLE DREAM YOU'VE EVER HAD? I rarely remember dreams, but the most vivid I had was a horrendous nightmare. I dreamt that I'd woken up and a man was in my flat, and started feeling me up (which was nice), and then suddenly he strangled me. I was SO scared!
12. WHICH FAMOUS PERSON WOULD YOU BE MOST LIKELY TO CHASE, PIN DOWN AND BEAT WITH YOUR SHOE IF YOU SAW THEM IN THE STREET? Without a doubt: Posh Spice. I loathe her even more than Matthew Salter.
13. IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY WOULD YOU TELL ANYONE? I'd have to - the only time I play is via a syndicate, and I'm guessing the other members would need to know.
14. IF YOU ANSWERED 'yes' TO No.13, WHO WOULD YOU TELL FIRST? WHO WOULD YOU NEVER EVER EVER TELL? and WOULD YOU BUY ANYONE SUPER-DUPER PRESENTS? if so, WHAT and WHO FOR? Would *think* about taking people I like on a big holiday somewhere. It'd certainly be a good way to get rid of people I don't like.
15. WHAT'S THE WORST NIGHT OUT YOU'VE EVER HAD? WHERE & WHY? Few weeks ago - that awful night when Philip went all stalky psycho on me.
16. WHAT'S THE MOST DRUNK YOU'VE EVER SEEN MARK? (OR ANYONE ELSE IF IT SO PLEASES) Hmmmm... I think I'll abstain.
17. HAVE YOU EVER RUN SCARED FROM ANYTHING NON-HUMAN? (PREFERABLY ANIMAL, BUT MACHINE WILL DO TOO, OR ANYTHING ELSE) A scorpion in a lollipop wielded by my friend Andy.
18. WHAT ITEM OF CLOTHING OWNED BY A FRIEND WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO OWN YOURSELF? WOULD YOU BE LOW ENOUGH TO STEAL IT? Pete's belt is just fantastic. As for low enough to steal it: I HAVE stolen it. Mwahahahahahaha!
19. IF YOU DECIDED TO HAVE KIDS AND CALL THEM COMEDY NAMES JUST FOR LAUGHS, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THEM (2 KIDS) TO MAXIMIZE BULLYING POTENTIAL? Pugsley and Wednesday would be particularly mean in my case. Adam would be fun too. Richard Edward is rather c*nty as well.
20. DID Mr. BYATT HAVE AN UNUSUALLY SMALL HEAD? OR A FREAKISHLY ELONGATED BODY? and WHAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING YOU CAN PICTURE HIM DOING?(LAWS OF PHYSICS NEED NOT APPLY) He did have a small head. I kinda felt like you could turn him upside down and make him a pogo stick.
For anyone that wasn't at Highfield School, you might want to ignore the Mr. Byatt question.
Have fun,
M
Current mood: Mmmmkay.
Current music: Vienna by Ultravox.