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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
Am paranoid.
I am old and feeling it... here's a list why.
1) I AM going bald (receeding). I have noticably less hiar on the front of my head than I used to. This is horrible.
2) I have grey hair in my stubble. I can't see any in my hair, but it's definitely there. I am now intending to shave more. This is horrible.
3) Despite the fact that I take cod liver oil tablets, my bones crick and crack almost every time I move. This is horrible.
4) I got told I look 28 the other day, and get jealous of people who are my age but look younger than me. This is horrible.
5) I have started getting broody (in an Uncle way, not a daddy way - so it's not too bad). This is still horrible.
6) I never really look at any gaydar profiles under the age of 20 'because they're too young'. This is horrible.
7) I like quiet nights in with a bottle of wine and a single friend just as much as, if not more than, a big all night booze fest. This is horrible.
8) I have happy memories (as opposed to the hate filled horrific ones that I used to have) of school and have forgotten the majority of the bad stuff. This is horrible.
9) When I went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach, it took my body two days to recover. The last time I was there, I needed an hour. This is horrible.
10) And the clincher is? The fact that I am so arsed about all this! That's the most horrible thing.
Have fun,
M
Current mood: As happy as poss on a Monday.
Current music: Love Walked In by Thunder (I'm so soppy).
A friend emailed me one of those thingies where you fill in 'interesting' facts about yourself and email it to everyone in your address book...
Because I can, I'm cutting and pasting it... other bloggers might like to cut and paste and do their own... or maybe not.
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Mark Christopher Adams
2. WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Depends on your definition of pants. If you mean trousers, they're black Marks and Sparks work trousers. If you mean knickers, they're tartan boxers.
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The dull hum of my elderly work PC.
4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER? No idea: why would I need to know this?
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Free lunch at a pointless meeting.
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Pink
7. IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Cat
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? mcphee - to apologise profusely for missing his D&D session.
9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? That they're not men.
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Alf's a good bloke... perhaps a little cunty.
11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Good in many ways; bad in many other ways.
12. YOUR FAVOURITE DRINK? Dr Pepper
13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Caffreys
14. FAVOURITE SPORTS? To do: Ninjutsu; to watch: speedway.
16. EYE COLOUR? Strange greeny colour with a brown bit around the pupil.
17. WEAR CONTACTS? Specs only.
18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? One bro, David, who's 22.
19. FAVOURITE MONTH? June
20. FAVOURITE FOOD? Chinese or Italian.
21. LAST FILM YOU WATCHED? Princess Mononoke
22. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Sometimes.
24. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
25. HUGS OR KISSES? Can't I have both? But if I have to choose: hugs.
26. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Depends on the guy.
27. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate
28. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? Yes
29. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Ben?
30. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Sally
31. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? Grotty little flat in the middle of nowhere.
32. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Treasure Island and a book on Pilates.
33. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? It's one of those ones filled with liquid that goes l pretty when you move the mouse.
34. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Does D&D count? If not, I'm fond of Dingbats.
35. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Had a nightmare journey home from Dudley.
36. FAVOURITE SMELLS? bread, bacon, chocolate, Tony's aftershave.
37. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? Alas, no.
38. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Attainable goals.
39. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? Salted.
40. FAVOURITE CAR? Doris... until she died.
41. FAVOURITE FLOWER? Bluebell
42. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? Seven.
43. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES, HOW MANY? Yes, three balls and many different tricks.
44. FAVOURITE DAY(s) OF THE WEEK? Saturday
45. RED OR WHITE WINE? Dry white
46. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Went to Blackpool with some mates, went out for a meal with my mum and dad, and had a disgraceful piss up inviting the world and his wife (and they nearly all came too!).
47. DO YOU OWN A DONOR CARD? No: out of spite. If my blood is too gay for me to give blood, then my organs are too gay as well.
48. WHAT ARE YOUR LIFETIME GOALS? Something twee like 'dunno as long as I'm happy'?
49. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? How much I hate my fucking alarm clock!
Have fun,
M
Current mood: Still happy.
Current music: Still Love Walked In.
This post is partially inspired by Chris the Ninja Pirate from the delightful online cartoon thingy, Weebl and Bob:
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/quest.htm
The clever double narrative thing was MY idea... in a 'I blatently stole it from an unknown sourse 'cos I have the originality of a very unoriginal thing' kind of way...
It was a great honour to be given my first official Ninja mission of Exotic and Dangerous Ninjaness from my Grand Master Sensei of Ninja Badassness.
[Ninja Rich asked me a favour 'cos no other bugger could do it]
We communicated stealthily and in secret via Ninja telepathic ways that no mere mortal can begin to comprehend.
[He emailed me]
I was given a mission of truly cataclysmic importance to the Bujinkan Tendo Shingan Dojo that would bring much fame and honour to the dojo were I to suceed and much shame and horror upon us if I was to fail.
[He asked me to attend a meeting representing the club at the Uni Exec]
I contemplated greatly upon the request, for it was to be the biggest challenge I have ever faced, and I would have to overcome a great titan of ultimate power before even embarking. But I knew it was my destiny to bring honour and knowledge on a pilgrimage for the dojo.
[I was a bit iffy, cos I didn't particularly want to ask my boss if I could take some flexitime... but free food swayed me]
I was to face the horrendous challenge of the path of tidal doom to get to the final battleground of my mission.
[It was raining on the way to the meeting room]
I knew I must prepare myself for my mission, and dressed in Ninja stealth garments of chameleonic concealment (for to reveal my real identitiy would be to risk everything!). I also armed myself with the heroic Ninja metal and fabric folding staff of protection from the element of water and the shield of knowledge retention.
[I was wearing my work clothes and carrying a brolly and a notepad]
I faught valiently against the forces of elemental evil that wished to prevent me from completing my sacred mission of great importance. Executing the powers of the Ninja metal and fabric folding staff of protection from the element of water with consummate skill meant I recieved on minor wounds as I faced my challenge.
[It was raining heaving, but the brolly meant I only got wet legs]
Finally I arrived at the great hall of final conflict, and had made good time: enough for me to assess the surroundings and use my heightened Ninja senses to conceal myself in a place of much advantage and stealth. I then prepared myself for the final conflict between myself and my foe.
[I arrived early, so picked a seat in the middle, and read my book]
Suddenly, there he was: my quarry. He was there: the fabled, infamous and fear inducing Master of the Way of the Salford Iron Fist of Recreation. I held my nerves and thought of the dishonour I would face were I to fail. His brutal attack upon me left my brain numbed and empty... BUT I WAS NOT GOING TO FAIL! I faced my challenge: mentally, physically, psychologically, and with the Golden Ninja Strength of the Fabled and Heroic Grand Masters, I overcame my foe.
[The guy who organises the clubs and societies arrived and was dull as fuck. I somehow managed to stay awake]
Brutalised, mentally exhausted, and victorious, I claimed the spoils of victory. The nectar of overcoming all odds and brining much exhalted honour upon the Tendo Shingan Bujinkan Ninjutsu Dojo was the sweetest thing that I ever tasted.
[It finally finished, and I got free lunch. Free lunch is great]
I must leave you now for I must report that my Ninja mission of Exotic and Dangerous Ninjaness was sucessful to the Grand Master Sensei of Ninja Badassness.
[I'm gonna give Ninja Rich a call to report back]
Have fun,
7th Kyu Mark Adams BA, Badass Ninja, Veteran of the Ninja mission of Exotic and Dangerous Ninjaness.
Current mood: Ninja!.
Current music: Wind Meets Cloud (Theme from The Stormriders) by Ekin Cheng.
You know the drill: I read and enjoy these journals.
mcphee/ Graeme: http://www.cosmicmonkey.co.uk/mcphee
Bowch: http://www.bowch.co.uk/blog.php
Pickled Pixie: http://www.cosmicmonkey.co.uk/
Fluff: http://members.tripod.com/bungle_uk/fluffyblog.html
Prince Gaz: http://www.princegaz.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/blog/index.htm
Mojo/ Splog: http://www.splog.dsl.pipex.com/blog/
Sean/ Downfall: http://www.blurty.com/users/downfall838
If anyone other than the people above who read this have a blog: tell me about it! My email is kingghidorah123@hotmail.com
Also, I'm really interested as to whether or not *anyone* other than friends I've given the address of this journal to actually read this thing. Drop me a line if you do! Somehow I doubt anyone does tho... not that I care.
Have fun,
M
Current mood: Loved Up (just spoke to Tony).
Current music: Die Another Day by Madonna.