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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
I really get paranoid when there's a Police Car behind me. I've been pulled over a couple of times and it's horrible. It really does upset me...
Well I was followed by a Police Car ALL THE WAY to work today, and it was just horrid. My University building is right next to the Salford Cop Shop, and guess where this bloody Police Car was going. Gah! It's just not what you want early in the morning.
It is SO damned difficult to keep at 30 mph! I don't think I put Doris in fourth for the whole journey! Even in Doris, I really struggled to keep it to 30, and every time she went around the 35 mark, an overwhelming sense of dread came over me as I feared those blue lights... but thank goodness they never came. How do these people with fast cars (or even cars with reasonable engines compared to Doris's lawnmower engine) manage to keep it below 30? Do they stay in second or something?
To help me to concentrate on going at 30 mph, I reverted back to the driving style that one uses to pass one's driving test. You know, the one where you actually check your mirrors, overuse your indicators, and do that stupid hand feed steering. How did I ever pass my driving test?! Man, it's ridiculously difficult to do all that bollocks! I'm hardly a good driver, and I'm hardly safe on the road, but try and make me do that crappo, and I'm considerably worse! No wonder all learners and new drivers are complete menaces. It really is true that you learn to pass your driving test, and then you learn to drive.
I was discussing car criteria over the phone with a mate buying a car last night. He said that it didn't matter what make it was as long as it is shiny. Can you guess his sexuality? We then went on to discuss the sexuality of cars. Apparently, it all goes on the presence of mirrors on the pull down sun shade things. It's a straight boy car if it just has a mirror on the passenger side (straight boys don't need mirrors, but their lady does). It's a straight girl car if it just has a mirror on the driver side (straight girls need mirrors, but their bloke doesn't). If it has two mirrors it's a gayboy car because both boyz need their mirror. If it has no mirrors at all it's a lesbian car because neither of them need mirrors. To my dismay, my Doris is a lesbian! She can't be a lesbian!
Hmmm... Car sexuality, and we weren't even stoned.
I heart Doris. She's great. She's so me! She's loveable, but a bit scruffy... just like me! [grin] Bless her... She has no fag lighter 'cos her engine aint big enough. You can't have the radio, rear windscreen heater and your lights on at the same time otherwise she conks out. The radio is MW only and the speakers are really bad, so I have a makeshift CD player with mini speakers on the passenger seat (currently with The Darkness CD in it). The right indicator elctrics are a bit dickie so every time I go over a major bump in a road there's a good chance that the front indicator light will stop working. She overheats if she's stood still for over 20 minutes too. Ahhhhhh! She's so sweet, and I love her. She's not a lesbian, dammit! She's a respectable elderly fag hag!
Hmmm... was there a point to this post? Probably not.
Have fun,
M
Current mood: Mmmkay.
Current music: Love Is Just A Feeling by The Darkness.
It occurred to me that I haven't done a pointless list on this thing for at least a week, and as such I present to you the five that I would.
Comfortable with my sexuality, I can admit to five ladies that I would. Strangely, it is only gayboys and straight girls that will admit stuff like this. Straight boys (bless) and lesbians (all two that I know) are much more coy about it and refuse to play along. Strange.
Here's my five (no particular order).
1) Milla Jovovic
2) Tia Carrere
3) Nicole Kidman
4) Kylie
5) A certain girl from school that I was besotted with for years (pathetic I know).
Anyone brave enough to reply to this, or blog about it on their own site?
Have fun,
M
Current mood: Still Mmmkay.
Current music: Love Is A Feeling by The Darkness (still).
Oops.
Remember that ranty blog about Philip? Well he plucked up the courage to phone me up and apologise, admit he was wrong, and take complete responsibility. Feel a bit mean now.
In fact, don't really know how I feel right now. It's all a bit strange and ambivolent.
M
Current mood:
guilty.Current music: Growing On Me by The Darkness.
I've done this before, but I'm gonna do it again...
Basically, people with more IT cleverness than me have blogs with links to this thing on them. They have filters and pictures and formatting and skins and dropdown menus and all that stuff. Not jealous, honest. But as I say, they have links to my blog here on their sites, and I feel that I should once in a while do this blog courtesy thing...
mcphee: http://www.monkeys-and-pirates.com/blogger.php
Bowch: http://www.bowch.co.uk/blog.php
Pixie: http://www.cosmicmonkey.co.uk/
Fluff: http://members.tripod.com/bungle_uk/fluffyblog.html
Prince Gaz: http://www.princegaz.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/blog/index.htm
Have fun,
M
Current mood: Ambivolent.
Current music: Givin' Up by The Darkness.