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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
As you’ve probably worked out by now, I’m rather fond of commiting ‘cut and paste crimes’. By cutting and pasting old stuff here, it makes it look I diligently update this thing for the benefit of my readers… until I say something like that, anyway.
But I kinda feel if I’m gonna cut and paste, I should at least make some sort of effort beforehand. So anyway, this is a post about film. As such, I have cut and pasted some reviews below of some of my favourite non-mainstream films. I used to write these things for another website, but stopped because I’m lazy. Realistically, I am unlikely to bother to do such in depth reviews again in the foreseeable future, so that’s all you’re gonna get.
However, I will make a list of particularly good foreign films, Indie films, and Schlocks that I’ll never get round to reviewing.
Foreign Films:
Young and Dangerous (Hong Kong), Young and Dangerous 2 (Hong Kong), Audition (Japanese), Lovers Of The Arctic Circle (Spanish), The Devil’s Backbone (Spanish), Nowhere To Hide (Korean), Ring (Japanese), Ring 2 (Japanese), Ring 0 (Japanese), The StormRiders (Hong Kong), The Dual (Hong Kong), Hard Boiled (Hong Kong), My Neighbour Totoro (Japanese Anime), Ghost In The Shell (Japanese Anime), Avenging Fist (Hong Kong), The Scorpion King (Hong Kong), The City Of Lost Children (French), Farinelli (French), Hero (Hong Kong)…
Now, while I think about it (and before I go onto Indies and Schlocks), why don’t we call (the British) call American blockbusters ‘foreign films’? The Unites States is as ‘foreign’ as any other ‘foreign’ country, surely? I *could* get into the fact the American culture is slowly but surely debasing and desecrating ours… but it won’t… I’d also probably go too far and mention the fact that ‘The War of Independence’ was *actually* an English Civil War. Oooops!
But seriously, why don’t American films get called ‘foreign’? France is closer to us than the United States of America, and North American films get called ‘foreign’. I find the whole concept a bit bizarre. In fact, British films are seen as novel in comparison to the Hollywood blockbusters. Mad. Maybe it is as simple as the fact that there aren’t as many British films as there are American ones, but they’re still made in another country. Hmmm…
Moving on, there are the less blockbusty films from America (you know, the ones that actually rely on plot or a clever concept as opposed to lots of money and special effects). These get called ‘Indie’. Now Indie I’ll go with because it’s short for independent, independent of Hollywood. Now these are more my kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love no brainer Blockbusters: hour and a half of great fun and stuff blowing up. However, sometimes I want something a bit more worthwhile, and that’s where the Indies come in.
I think there was a point to this thread at some point… oh yeah, cutting and pasting, and more lists. I do like lists.
Indie Films:
Bully, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Cube, Pi, Requiem For A Dream, Kolobos, Dark City (arguably not true Indie), Series 7: The Contenders, Killers…
Schlocks:
The whole Troma back catalogue (Toxic Avenger, Tromeo and Juliet, Surf Nazis Must Die, Monster In the Closet, Chopper Chicks In ZombieTown, etc, etc), Granny, Demagogue, Jack Frost, Elves, Piranha, Crocodile, Octopus…
There’s probably loads more for all of them that I’ve forgotten.
Hmmm… how did a cut and paste idea become an epic? I’m going…
Have fun,
M
Akira
Japanese Anime Film - 1987
For someone who has claimed to be a 'fan' of anime for over five years, it's a disgrace that I haven't seen this film up until now. Although Ghost In The Shell, Princess Mononoke and Perfect Blue have some claim the the crown, I personally think this is the most famous and influential of all anime films. To be honest, I thought that even before I'd seen it. We are of course ignoring the horrendous, commercial monsters that are the Streetfighter II anime films. They don't count... because I say so!
BTW... just in case: anime is the term for the style of Japanese animation that you see in things like Battle of the Planets, Cities of Gold, and more recentlypokemon. I find it interesting that a lot of American comic books are now using the same style, including Marvel.
When I see an anime film, a vital thing that I look for is something/ scenes that cannot be done in live action. Or at least something that a Japanese film budget couldn't do (or if it did, it'd look shite like the Godzilla smashing buildings thing). Akira does indeed do this: there is some particularly grotesque morphing of a character's skin into a huge, pulsating, revolting mutant. Sure that could be done in live action today (for hella amounts of $), but probably not when this was made in 1987.
That's another thing, this film is fifteen years old. The animation is not ultra modern, and things like Mononoke and Ghost In The Shell do whup its ass with their gorgeous computer gen stuff. However, it does not actually look dated. The morphing stuff, and a matrix thingy that looks like it's superimposed computer graphics is actually quite impressive. It's dated well in that respect.
It is very Japanese in it's cyberpunk, strangely plotted style, and as I like that kind of thing, I enjoyed it. With a rep like the one that Akira has, I was expecting a lot from it. It *just about* did the job. It wasn't stunning, but it was a damned good film, and a lot better than some of the lousy crapola that distributers chuck at the UK market because they get them cheap in bulk from the Japanese exporters trying to draw even on their lame ducks.
One thing that bothered me was that the 'hero' was a cock. He irritated me from start to finish. To be honest, the strange and bizarre blue children were much more likeable than the hero...
There were some great silly moments as well... like the bloke who stepped up a speeding motorbike and fly kicked his assailant and the 'I just fell 50 foot and it only hurt a little bit' moment... typical anime, and to be honest, I like it.
Being the shallow arts graduate I am, anything that demons Science is alright by me. This film certainly does that! Despite watching it on my own, I was childish enough to cheer out loud when the evil scientist bloke got squished in his own trailer. Pretty standard cyberpunk science is bad vibe. However, there was something more to this with an element of speculation on evolution and the origins of man. Nice, thought provoking stuff.
One thing that pisses me off with foreign films presented in the UK, including anime, is crappy dubbing. Dubbing NEVER looks good on foreign films: the mouths NEVER synch with the words. It looks SHIT and ruins a film. The beautiful thing with the Akira DVD is that you can pick English or Japanese dubbing, and about seven different sub-titles. Being the purist I am, I went with Japanese with English sub-titles. However, they were actually subtitles made for deaf people, not anime purists... and I was amused by the fact that it said (dog barks) when I could hear that a dog was barking and other things like that. I will probably watch the dub at some point to see how bad it was...
All in all, this is definitely a film worth seeing because it's a damned good film. And also, I can finally say "Yes" when people ask if I've seen Akira when I say I like anime, and prevent the irritating "You MUST have seen Akira!" response.
http://www.pithemovie.com/java.html
Look at this link before reading the review.
π
Immediately arty in my book seeing as the actual film name is simply: π. I don't know whether it's me being weird, eccentric or over-arty, but this immediately made a big impression with me. I guess the fact that the director has deliberately made it difficult for the distributors and beaurocrats by making the title a symbol for his art is great. Annoyingly, it appears that they have got around this by writing it as 'pi', and not using the π symbol.
This film was amazing. I hate maths, and this was a film about maths, yet I loved it. Yes, I know Americans call it 'Math', but they're wrong... anyway, I digress. Pi is a mathematical term for a number used in horrid equations I don't even want to consider trying to understand. It is 3.14... and a hell of a lot more numbers.
It centres around the theory that maths is 'in everything' and that maths can be applied to everything. But beyond this, it explores schizophrenia, Religion (particularly extremist Judaism), the search for perfection, and the phenomenon that is coincidence. All pretty heavy going stuff.
Taken at a basic level, it's a standard 'conspiracy theory, everyone is after the hero' type film. However, it is SO much more than that... the fact that the 'hero' is an average looking, schizophrenic mathematician kind of changes things. There are some pretty damned dark moments with the hero being schitzo and the scenes with him taking drugs and abusing himself are actually quite graphic and disturbing. This is the kind of film (along with the Ring trilogy) that make me think that the censors are too simplistic in their ratings. Sure, there's not that much blood and guts there, but the psychological stuff is horrendous! I personally think that the psychological stuff is much more of what horror is about than the 'tomato ketchup'.
Did the link above freak you, just a little bit? I thought it would (and hmmmm, have we found out where the matrix got it's ideas for imagery from?! Bloody Hollywood!). Well, it pretty much sums up the direction and 'feel' of the film π. It's all filmed in black and white (I'm guessing as a discourse to the fact that mathematics is all about black and white/ right and wrong, but I don't know for sure), and can be very disjointed. It's filmed in a way that makes your skin crawl... it impressed me!
I have to admit the film puzzled me. It's rare that I don't 'get' a film, but I don't think that I completely 'got' this film. I'm actually looking forward to re-watching it, and trying to fathom it out. What I can say is that it's a very enjoyable, tense, dark film that I'm glad I bought for a fiver from the HMV sale.
Go on... go to the link again… it’s great.
http://www.pithemovie.com/java.html
Granny
American low budget 'schlock' horror film.
You know, I do like a schlock horror. By the term 'schlock' I mean a particularly bad horror film that is so bad it's funny. You can tell the type of film I mean: they're the ones that are always in the 'for sale' sections of video shops and on DVD in the discount music stores for a fiver. This film was of the DVD fiver type. In their own 'special' way, these films are a lot like the arty sort of films I like to watch as well: no bugger watches and the people that do are weird.
First of all, it's impressively short, even for a schlock. It lasts just five minutes more than an episode of Buffy. Yup: it's a whopping 50 minutes long! Perhaps with a budget of 20p, this was a necessity. I've always wondered whether these people actually make money from their schlocks. They must do: it's done over and over again. I'm guessing that the budget is ridiculously low and the beyond hammy actors get minimum wage or something.
By now, you've read three paragraphs and I haven't actually said anything about the actual film or whether I enjoyed it. Well, you see, schlock is an art form. There are schlocks that are funny in their schlockiness, and schlocks that are just fucking awful and not even enjoyable. I'm pleased to say that Granny falls into the funny bracket. The synopsis is this: a group of friends are in a house and one admits he killed his Granny. Granny comes back and slaughters them all. Great stuff; damned funny.
Not one of the deaths is remotely convincing: it's a schlock, that's part of the charm. Although there are some delightfully elaborate death ideas. Knitting needles in the eyes, through a pair of spectacles being my particular favourite. However, the ludicrous chest slashing for well over a minute of those fifty minutes comes a close second.
Blood is NOT pink! The director of this film seems to think it is though. This just adds to the fun of this film. I guess to appreciate schlock, you have to be a certain type of weirdo... like me.
There is no suspense, no subtlety and no valid reason for the group to split up for Granny to slaughter them all one by one. Again, another staple of schlock: horrific script, characters with no sense or personality whatsoever, and letting nothing get in the way of crap death scene after crap death scene. It tends to be rare that there is nice eye candy in schlocks (ugly actors probably cost less), but there was actually one attractive character in Granny (don't get too exited boys - remember how I butter my bread).
Now, there's a time and a place for everything. You don't watch The Usual Suspects or Pulp Fiction when you're drunk or stoned. Similarly, you don't watch a schlock when you're sober. My appreciation of the joy of schlock is greatly enhanced intoxicating beverages, and Granny was no different. Schlocks are always better with friends too: after all, what's the point of cruel laughter and heckling if you're not with someone to share in the merriment?
You know, I might actually talk about Granny some time soon as opposed to spouting crap about the joy of schlock. I amaze myself with my ability to write/ say a hell of a lot to describe something that could be done in a sentence...
Granny is a schlock and surely the people who made it must know it's a schlock?! It's supposed to appeal to sad teens/ twenty-somethings who want a film to watch/ heckle with friends whilst drinking silly amounts of alcohol. Yet they actually try to make the ending clever. They try to add a twist. Oh dear. Adding a revoltingly bad amalgamation of the Scream and Unbreakable twists does not make the film clever or arty. I really hope it was done tongue in cheek, but it's even more amusing if it wasn't.
As for a recommendation, how about this? If you've got a spare crate of beer and some friends and a dog in hell's chance of actually finding this schlock from the infinite sea of other schlocks, watch it, it's fun. However, most schlocks are fun, so just grab the nearest one with the silliest concept. Scarily childish or silly concept for a horror film (I've seen leprachauns, grannies, slugs, piranhas, and snowmen) usually means it's gonna be a good 'un!
The Devil's Backbone
Spanish Horror/ macabre film
In a nutshell: a subtitled Spanish horror film. But The Devil's Backbone is so much more than that. Innovative, dark, intelligent, and no punches pulled: I was impressed.
The supernatural horror element is juxtaposed onto a gritty reality film about an orphanage in war torn Spain (the Civil War in the mid 20th century). Clever, clever, clever. In a more subtle way than the over-rated Dusk Til Dawn, the two genres intertwine better and a lot more sensibly. The more I think about Dusk Til Dawn, the more I think it wasn't actually that clever or groundbreaking at all. It was just crude. Whereas The Devil's Backbone smoothes the two together beautifully.
The pity of war and the horror for the normal people is emphasised, and emphasised well. Despite the fact the supernatural elements should clash, they don't. This is truly intelligent and beautifully done.
The supernatural side explores death and ghosts, and does it in a subtle and stylish way. Revealing facts and history in a fragmented way that gives a lot of shock element throughout the film, the film stylishly works like a jigsaw. The imagery and the portrayal of the ghosts are nothing short of gorgeous.
This is a dark film: you won't go home clicking your heels happy with life. However, there is hope at the end, despite a huge body count of characters that you are forced to like. The film very brutally makes you love the very real and flawed characters. They are all real people with values, flaws, dark secrets, and a tragic history... then after you feel like you've got to know real characters (unlike the bollocks stereotypes you get in shitty blockbusters), they are ruthlessly, almost callously, slaughtered. And you don't expect it. I was gutted.
Of course, a foreign film should NEVER be dubbed, but this especially shouldn't. The tension, fear and emotion is still perfectly evoked in the actors tone of voice... you don't need to understand the words to hear fear in someone's voice! Subtitles allow direct translation without having to choose between accurate lip synchs with contrived vocabulary, or abandoning lip synch and making it farcical. Thank goodness they subtitled this film.
This is a VERY good horror film. However, this is no schlock: do not watch when drunk. This is stylish psychological horror to rival even classics like The Omen and Ring. A truly dark, true fear inducing, brutal... FANTASTIC film.
The Experiment
German Film
Big Brother + Prison + Experiment = Scary
I've seen some fucked up films in my time from the pointless, unimpressive pathetic attempt of social commentary that is The Driller Killer to the disturbing and truly chilling Ring. But nothing prepared me for the shock that was The Experiment. I knew that it was pretty dark, and pulled no punches, but bloody hell!
This film made Schindler's List look like My Little Pony: The Movie.
The film is based on a real life experiment, but made a little (okay, a lot) more extreme. The experiment was basically to analyse human nature and power roles. Volunteers were put into a prison scenario as either guards or prisoners, filmed, and then told to act it out seriously. In the actual real life experiment, it was aborted due to the 'guards' getting too brutal, and actually attacking the 'prisoners'. The experiment in the film explores this, and what might have happened had it been allowed to continue.
I actually came out of that film feeling like I'd been in the actual experiment myself: it was so gripping that you really felt like a part of it. I kinda felt like I'd been punched in the stomach: it literally took my breathe away! The film was so dark and tense that it drew you in like the bisto kids or something!
Now this is what I would call a real horror film. We're not talking blood, guts and gore: we're talking the horrific, brutal, shocking and downright scary potential of human nature. Now to me, that is real horror! Of course, there is extreme violence and some absolutely gut churning horrible moments (catching a knife strike and then pulling the knife out - all on camera - made me squirm somewhat), but that only adds to the psychological horror. The extreme violence is as a result of the psychological horror, and not the actual reason for the film being a horror. No schlock could have anything like the effect on me that The Experiment did!
With all the reality TV influenced films out there of varying quality (Kolobos and Series 7: The Contenders being two of the more superior ones), it's possible to overlook this little gem as another 'reality style' film. But this film is much more than that. This is a very important film and challenges human nature and it's potential for evil. It shows just what can happen when people get power and want power. From rape, to beating the defenceless to torture to humiliation, it pulls no punches whatsoever. Neither does it pull punches in it's brutal depiction of these horrors, but in my opinion that particularly adds to the reality and horror of what it portrays.
I would definitely recommend this film: it certainly makes you think. But if you're after something to brighten up your day, steer very clear.
Young and Dangerous
Dir: Andrew Lau
Hong Kong Film (1995)
This is one of the more well known films to come out of the Hong Kong film industry. Predictable, it shares the same infamous extreme violence that makes films like Hard Boiled get so slated by the ignorant and the stupid. I don't deny that extreme violence is an unpleasant thing to watch, but in this kind of film it is there to emphasise and compliment the story not just to get bloodthirsty idiots into the cinema.
Before I even get into the actual review, I'm going to get this off my chest: I fucking hate censorship. What right does some holier than thou, pompous, stuck up granddad have to say what I can and can't watch? I personally think the problem is lack of enforcement of certificates. I watched 18 certificate films underage, so did you, so did everyone. THAT is the problem. Yes, the Jamie Bulger lawyers blamed copycatting of the film Child's Play... but wait a second, the film was 18 certificate and underage kids got to see it. Isn't that the problem, not the actual film?
Anyway, yes, Young and Dangerous is ultra-violent. But one thing I liked about it was that it actually recognised the fact that you get *long term* injuries from getting the shit kicked out of you. I always find it rather irritating that a character can get the crap beaten out of him, and then a day later is completely healed. That doesn't happen... listen to the guy that still had big time bruises from his Ninjutsu training WEEKS after a training session.
Something that is frequently accused of East Asian films is that they go for style over substance. Young and Dangerous has both. A nice touch is at pause moments, they film fades the scene into a still of the original manga art on which the film was based. Perhaps a little A-Ha video smooth, but I liked it. Blurring is used in the mass brawl scene, which I thought was a wonderful way of portraying the chaos of something like that. I like that kind of stylised stuff.
I know I've rattled on about it before, but here we go with a rant about subtitles. SO MANY foreign language films have white subtitles. White subtitles are bad, bad, bad! If there's a white background, you can't read the bloody things! It drives me absolutely up the wall. And I know that it shouldn't matter if it's a good film... BUT IT DOES! Young and Dangerous, I am happy to report has yellow subtitles... Yay!
Indulge my shallowness here: there's some nice eye candy in the film...
(There's even some pretty girls ;) )
Basically, this is a good action/ gangster film. It's not an absolute classic of a film, but it's 97 minutes worth of enjoyable Asian extreme... something I'm very fond of.
The City of Lost Children
A film by Jeunet and Caro (the creators of Delicatessen)
French film.
“Unmissable” Empire
“The effects are staggering” The Guardian
“Astonishing” The Observer
“One of the most stunning pieces of cinema you will ever see in your life!” Film Review
“Dazzling” NME
“An extraordinary fantasy” Sunday Express
“Cracking stuff” Daily Mirror
Well it looks like the critics liked this film.
“Fucking freaky” Mark A
Disney, this aint. Hollywood, this aint.
Now this is my kind of film! Twisted, fucking freaky, surreal as a turkey dancing the bolero, and wonderfully macabre. The City of Lost Children really is a wonderful film.The City of Lost Children is one of those preciously rare films where for the first fifteen minutes, you’re sat there going ‘What the fuck?!’. But unlike those films, with The City of Lost Children, you’re sat there going ‘What the fuck?!’ for the whole film. I do surreal, I really, really do… but this film takes it to another level! This film aint for the kinda person who finds the plot of A Nightmare on Elm Street taxing. That kind of person, in their tragically dull and ignorant way, would most definitely not understand and would simply say this film is ‘crap’. I pity them.
The characters range from evil Siamese twin women to a brain in a jar to five inept clones who argue about who was the first to a nutter with a hypnotic accordion to a nymphet who makes Natalie Portman in Leon look normal to an evil midget woman devoted to a fucked up old man who is dying because he can’t dream. With the main character being the big bad from Blade II as a mentally challenged Circus strongman who’s little brother is stolen by the fucked up old man who is dying because he can’t dream. Care Bears the Movie, this aint.
The music is haunting, freaky, and downright spine tingling, especially that scary, scary accordion. Ugh! Sends shivers down my spine thinking about it. Now *that* is the testament of a good score for a movie.
Darkly directed, set in a fantastical world, with a genius casting supervisor coupled with Jean-Paul Gaultier as the costume designer: you have a very, very stylised and distinctive ‘look’ to this film. And that look is freaky.
Now I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I bloody hate dubbed foreign films. Bloody distribution companies! There is so much stuff out there that has kack, 99% of the time unemployed, talentless ‘actors’ doing voiceover after voiceover that doesn’t fit the lip synch. One particularly grating example is the company Manga Entertainment who desecrate anime films with dubbing. There’s an actor who play EVERY SINGLE big muscular bloke over 6ft tall. Sure he’s got a distinctive voice and it suits the characters, but he is literally every big guy, and it’s glaringly obvious that he’s cheap to hire. But I digress (it’s why you all love me): I bloody hate dubbed foreign films. However, this the one film where the dubbing ADDS to the film! Yes, it adds. Because the film is so wonderfully surreal, the dubbing serves to exaggerate and emphasise this! Whether it was meant to, I don’t know, but for me, for one time only: dubbing rocks!
So to wrap up, did I mention this film is freaky? This is a film for the intelligent, the slightly twisted, and the kinda person that likes their humour dark and their plotlines a little different. That’s me. If that’s you too, watch it; if it aint, you’ll hate this film and simply won’t get it.
Current mood: Feeling better, but not 100%.
Current music: Heavy Things by Phish.