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'My Corduroyed Life' - Mark A's Journal
I was thinking the other day about how many things irritate me, and decided to do a ten things I hate post on this thing. However, I simply couldn't narrow it down to just 10. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I dislike everything... Hmmm, does that make me a bad person.
So I decided to do 101 things I hate (watch them get more ridiculous as they go on and I run out of ideas - I'm already regretting this post: I'm gonna look like an unfunny bitter twat... oh yeah, I am an unfunny bitter twat).
Here they are in no particular order...
1) Posh Spice
2) Carling
3) Screaming children at cinemas
4) People talking in cinemas
5) Anyone who doesn't leave at least one chair between you and them in cinemas
6) Crowded, smelly and sweaty cinemas
7) Mobile phones in cinemas... ESPECIALLY if the fucker answers it
8) People who tut when you eat nachos in cinemas
9) The Stereophonics
10) Homophobes and Queer Bashers
11) Fasionable Bisexuals
12) Women with far too much perfume on
13) Football blokes who have nothing else to talk about
14) Being lied to
15) Being late
16) People being late for me
17) Stereotyping
18) Rice Pudding
19) Losing my glasses and looking like fucking Velma from Scooby Doo as I try to find them
20) People who laugh at number 19
21) The fact that everything in this world is for right handers
22) The fact that everything in this world is for straight people
23) The term 'Queer'
24) Old people who moan about the youth swearing too much
25) Scorpions
26) In your face militant veggies
27) In your face militant hippies who demand you get public transport to work instead of driving (We ALL know you only say that 'cos you HAVE to get the bus 'cos you don't fucking drive!)
28) The KKK
29) The BNP
30) Racism
31) Sexism
32) Homophobia
33) All other 'isms' and shit prejudices because of what, not who, you are
34) The fact that if you have a Midlands accent, everyone assumes you're thick
35) Talking to someone I dislike
36) Work
37) Being skint
38) Mothers who slap their kids in public
39) Wankers who specifically go clubbing to get into a fight
40) Thieves
41) Muggers
42) Arsey Bouncers
43) Holier than Thous
44) Pushy in your face religious people (whatever they believe that I don't and won't)
45) People who refuse to believe I'm Athiest, not Agnostic
46) Parking Nazis
47) People who park over two bays
48) People who cut you up on the motorway
49) Scallies
50) Relationships that don't end with proper closure
51) Men who don't want me
52) Ben Sherman shirts
53) The cold
54) Being ill
55) Putting my foot in my mouth
56) The loss of TV's Gladiators
57) The fact that Blind Date will never have a gay couple on it
58) Popups
59) Spam about straight porn sites and dick enlargement
60) Slow internet connection
61) The fact I don't have Sky telly
62) The fact I live in a flat the size of a shoebox
63) The word 'flange'
64) The word 'twat'
65) People who talk at you when you want to read your book...
66) Particularly on a train journey
67) Not getting a seat on a train
68) Not getting a seat on a bus
69) the fact that buses really DO actually come in threes in Manchester
70) The fact that they just don't come at all in Wolverhampton
71) Rain
72) Dusting
73) Hoovering
74) Washing up
75) The fact that the Beano used to be 16p but is now a quid
76) Insomnia
77) My own procrastination
78) My own apathy
79) The thought that chordroy might go out of fashion again/ is out of fashion
80) Unrequited love
81) Being used
82) The STD clinic
83) Hospitals
84) Bus Stations
85) Ridiculously posh and overpriced clothes shops
86) Ignorance
87) The fact that my parents don't know I'm gay
88) The fact that I really don't know how my parents will react if I tell them I'm gay
89) The fact that I get so upset about 87 and 88
90) The bad thought of losing my parents forever because of 87 and 88
91) Fucking straight people who tell me to get 87 over and done with
92) Talking to someone who is cross eyed - where the fuck do you look
93) Myself when I can't stop looking at someone's scar, mole, deformity, etc when I'm talking to them
94) Getting noticed doing 93
95) One particular technique at Ninjutsu where you get hit in the armpit: OW... OW, OW, FUCKING OW!
96) Back hair
97) Old men coming on to me
98) The inevitabilty that if it tastes nice, it's bad for you
99) The fact that there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything
100) The fact I've got wrinkles
101) The fact I'm going bald
Fuck me... I could have gone on for another 100...
M