The Sleepyhead's Blurty

Subject:	Batman, Seminary and the Upcoming Sunday
Time:	2:48 pm.
Mood:	bouncy.
Music:	songs playing from Wave 89.1.

Bahala na si Batman.

I find this expression so hilarious. It just makes me wonder. Who's the person referring to when he says "batman"? Why Batman? Why not Superman? Does one need a supernatural intercession when he says bahala na si Batman? But it's not like Batman's the most powerful superhero out there. He just has amazing strength but if his batmobile and other batgadgets aren't around he's pretty much weaker compared to Superman or any X-men character for that matter. Wala lang. The expression just intrigues me.

ISOT update
People around me have been so supportive of my interest in going to ISOT. Last Sunday, Dr. Liuson, who is the chair of the board of trustees in ISOT, delivered the message at GCF-East. My cousin thought he was such a great speaker. It's too bad I missed him when he went to GCF-North. Oh well, I hope I get to meet him someday.

So after the service there were brochures about ISOT and the programs offered there. My cousin suprised me with them when I met her last Sunday afternoon. Then last night, after discipleship meeting at UP, Tita Amelie also gave me ISOT info materials. This time it was a course prospectus type of book. I got to look at the different programs they offered and even the subjects they have. I also learned that it was possible to be a special student and just take a certificate course. You could even study through correspondence. So. Cool. I'm really praying about it.

August 8 service
Every second Sunday of the month is the youth's turn at GCF to serve. I remember last May 10 when it was my first time to participate. I even cried cause I felt sad that none of my family members were there to witness my scripture reading. I just got really sentimental that time. I feel kind of stupid now though cause I'm not serving in church for my family anyway. It's all for God.

This time, I was assigned to lead the prayer during the second service. I'm still not sure if I will be given a script or if I'm the one who's supposed to compose the prayer. Also, I was assigned to... Are you ready for this? :) *drumroll* ... be one of the back-up singers. Hehe. Funny huh? I don't really consider myself a singer but I honestly love to sing, especially if I'm singing P&W songs. And if I mess up the other singers can cover it up teeheehee. Well, just include me in your prayers if you get to read this.

Ciao!

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Time:

4:08 pm.

A few months ago, if you had asked me if I would go live/work abroad given the opportunity, I would've said yes without batting an eyelash. I even remember myself telling a friend that I couldn't wait to graduate so that I can fix my papers already and be with my dad hopefully. But lately I've begun to dread what's gonna happen when I do graduate. The future is so uncertain and I have so much interests that I don't even know which one to pursue.

And then there's church ministry. Tita Amelie and Tito Erwin have inspired me so much with their commitment to God through service in the church. They are so passionate about the youth that they will go out of their way to disciple and have fellowship with us. I can't count the number of times that they've shown their love and kindness to me. And I appreciate how they share with me their experiences with and of God, even telling me about the times when they fell and got back up again. And upon being blessed by their lives I can't help but desire to be a full time servant someday.

The talk I attended last Saturday also gave me courage to pursue this someday. Henry Blackaby and Avery Willis talked about spiritual leadership. Two things struck me the most. One was this: that you can't tell God that you don't have a gift in this or that area. When He commands you to do what he wants, you can't say no. It doesn't matter if you lack skills, God will provide them. And the second one was: that God does not choose leaders. God chooses servants.

With these reflections I've started praying that if God wills me to serve full time then I will do so. It's scares me actually, because I know that if this does happen, a lot of people I care for will not approve. Also, it involves a lot of sacrifices that I may not even be ready to do. But I'm really praying about it. It may not happen right away or it may happen sooner than I expect or want, but I just pray for a willing and courageous heart.

Some people may not understand how working for God through church ministry is fulfilling or even the right thing to do. I know my uncle had, and still has, a hard time showing my grandma and my tita that he is happy. He still depends on my tita for partial support and he still has to pursue his side rakets so that he can support his family. Tita and my dad and his other brothers may never understand and they may continue to disapprove. But I understand him now.

Still, I don't know where God will lead me to. I just pray that I wherever He'll take me, I'd still give glory to His Name. And that even if I end up somewhere I dislike, I'd still be able to persevere in the work to which He has called me, neither leaving it half-done nor giving up when the first enthusiasm and hope have faded.

Whatever you do,
work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord,
not for men.
-Colossians 3:23

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Subject:	dawson's creek ep. 76
Time:	8:00 am.
Mood:	cranky.
Music:	Bif Naked - I love myself today.

My version of dawson's creek. What's the diff? I've got teenage angst as much as joey and the gang anyway (although I may not fit the teenage part anymore since I'm technically 20). So what's the new drama about? It's all that bitchy make-up artist's fault. I'm no Bobbi Brown but I can certainly do better than him. Imagine this. Yesterday when he was doing my face for my graduation pictorial he put BLUE eyeshadow and mega glossy PINK lipstick on me. Ano ako, Mattel barbie doll? If my pictures turn out bad I'm seriously gonna consider extending one more sem so that I could have another set of graduation pictures. So I'm vain. Sue me. But I'd rather have a retake than have my grandkids look at them and say "Heidious grandma!"

I did Kelly Clarkson's miss independent for my creative pose. Sayang nga cause I didn't get to wear a hoodie and a nice scarf. But it wasn't so bad since the sash I had made (with the words 'miss independent' printed on it) made the statement. Ryan thought of my tagline: Kelly can you handle this? I'm thinking of changing it to something in Tagalog though. Simon suggested the following: "Hindi ako shokla, sho-shokla-shokla" or "Sumusunod sa galaw mo" and even "Sinong nanay mo?" I thought they were funny even if they didn't really connect with the pose. That's the point daw. *sigh*

Oh crap i gotta go. I have this pointless paper due in a few hours for theo class. ARGH!!!!! my day better be good.

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Subject:	miss independent
Time:	5:10 pm.
Mood:	encouraged.
Music:	Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independent.

That's the look i'm going for for my yearbook creative pose. Lame huh? But I guess it's sort of like letting out my frustration to be exactly that, independent.

You see last week was the peak of my depression about my family. My living arrangement isn't exactly healthy, if i may say. And it doesn't help that my guardians are two old single women, my lola who's nearing 80 and my middle-aged spinster aunt. I may not be an expert on parenting but I think I know the difference between reasonable and unreasonable strictness. And they... they can be too much. I love them, but lately it's been so hard to live with them. And sadly, I couldn't think of any solution but to move out.

But then a wise kuya reminded me that this thing that I'm going through is part of my being a christian. Jesus said that it won't be easy. Even he was rejected by the people of his own town. And that got me thinking 'How could I complain of difficulty when what he and many others had gone through were so much harder?' And I was also reminded that whatever it is that I feel like I can't take anymore is just a test maybe. If I feel like I've ran out of patience then I should extend my capacity to be patient even more. If everything seems hopeless then I should hope more. It's all about extending yourself to the person you love, even if that person hurts you. That's what Jesus did, didn't he?

Thank you plevs for reminding me. God bless.

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Subject:	Missing blurty
Time:	1:23 pm.
Mood:	full.
Music:	Dashboard Confessional - The Best Deceptions.

The PC at our house broke down 2 weeks ago. It's still not fixed cause Chuya, the "man of the house" is too busy to take care of it. He lives in a dorm on weekdays to review for his board exams so without him, we're basically stuck in helplessville. Not that I don't want to do anything about the problem. I so badly want to have it fixed already so that my mailbox would stop cursing me. I'm not even updated on my friends' lives and even school-related memos because I can't get internet access. The only net place near my house is the one in National Bookstore/Crossings Department Store which charges 1.00 a minute. No thanks. So why don't I take charge and have our pc repaired? Because I do not have driving abilities needed to take the stupid computer to the computer doctor. Which only reminds me that I am one of the VERY FEW 20-year-old people who can't drive. I am such a loser.

Besides the fact that I've been missing out on so much because of my absence in the internet world, my pc also grieved me by destroying the hard drive. So that means goodbye to the gazilliobytes of mp3s and videos which took forever to find and download and also ta-ta to my papers since my freshman year which could only mean that I have no proof left to back my resume up. All gone. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Screwed much.

Anyway, pc dilemna aside, I've also been stressed out by school. What's new? If there's anything else I complain about more than the heat, it's school. How was my first week? Tiring. The impact of my lousy sched finally took its toll on me and by my second day, I was already counting the days before the sem is over. 9 hours straight without a single break? Don't try it. It's not like I wanted that to happen. Faye and I tried to load rev our philo class so that we can have even one period to rest (or cram). So we tried to get into Father Nemy Que's class right? But the philo dept decided to mess our sched and placed us in Calasanz's class on mwf afternoons instead. Forget it. I ain't commuting for 2 hours to spend one hour in school. One hour that isn't very enticing either given the teacher's reputation.

My subjects this sem seem pretty okay. Dr. Lim's class is... well... more or less the same as last sem's SA 101. Dr. Parco's class on the other hand makes me attentive cause she's always calling on a random person in class to share very personal stuff. How bad is it? Well on the first day of class she gave us all a student information sheet to be submitted to her. Why in heavens name does she need to know what my greatest fears are? And how far I would go to have a senior's retreat. What makes her think that all students want to go anyway? I know people who would go VERY far to NOT go to the seniors' retreat. Basta, a lot of the questions there were very personal and I didn't really want to answer them. Dr. Parco herself is very inquisitive about the students. I feel like we're going through rehab therapy in her class. Dr. Abad's class meanwhile is probably my favorite for this semester and I'll admit that it's because I like the way he teaches. He genuinely cares about his students' education and gives much effort to make statistics seem like the most exciting research tool (okay maybe not but you get what I'm saying). And then there's Dr. Lee for philo. Four words. "Dr. Tolosa Part 2". Major snoozefest. Right Karla? But he seems like a really good teacher. I just have to exert a little effort to stay awake in class. And last but not the least, Dr. Juanillo. Easy A daw but I'm not sure if I like his teaching style. He's the total opposite of Dr. Malvicini. Development interventions should be top-bottom daw. How elitist. So that's the full line-up.

My two-day sched isn't making me a very good student. I thought I'd spent two-three of my four-day weekend to study but I ended up alloting one day for schoolwork. Don't ever be like me. I just watched tv most of the time. Hey, there're a lot of shows to watch! One Tree Hill and The O.C. may be getting too dramatic for me so my current fave is Charmed. It's really exciting now. Chris finally admitted that he was Leo and Piper's son two weeks ago. And last week he became desperate to get Leo and Piper back together so that he could be conceived. And Phoebe became a genie. Basta, super hilarious yung episode. You guys should watch. The season's almost over. Around 4 or 5 episodes nalang ata.

Well that's it for now. I'm using the pc at mom's and I've been tying up their line too long already. Hope all's well with you guys. God bless!

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Subject:	Fantasia won!
Time:	2:34 pm.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	Natasha Beddingfield - SINGLE.

Whoppee! I'm glad she did! But even if she didn't I still have faith that she could pull a Clay Aiken. Speaking of Clay, I'm choosing not to believe in that sleazy photo I saw a few days ago. Anyone could have photoshop-ed that thing.

I'm not so bummed about the random # assigned to me anymore. Ben and Tina both convinced me that being 600+ isn't so bad. Ben even taught me a "trick" so that I could get away from the teachers I don't like. But whatever right? I survived Ms Cleofas for a year. What could be worse? (I might have to eat my words later on...)

I've been basically a bum for the last few days. When I'm not in school for a meeting I just stay at home and watch tv or dvds and read all day, not exactly Ms Productive here. But I am going out tomorrow. GCF is having its annual bonkers somewhere in Marikina tomorrow. Nakakahiya, I didn't even join a single sport. I told the youth that I'd just cheer at the sidelines. I'm really proud of GCF North. We don't have that many kids in church but I heard that the North team were something like over-all winners of the Bonkers last year. I hope they win again this year :) My cousin Tate is also gonna be the co-emcee. She's from GCF-East so I'm sure she's gonna be all competitive against me haha...

Next week I'm having my hair treated again but it's not for vanity reasons alone. When I had my hair rebonded last October it really made a huge difference. Because I have naturally wavy and unruly hair I always tied it up in a ponytail. But even keeping my hair like that didn't make me look very neat. Frizzy strands of hair were always sticking out and I couldn't let my hair down even if I wanted to cause it'll be flying all over the place. But when I got my hair treated I could leave my hair down and it would always return in place even after a windy jeepney ride. It didn't require high maintenance so I fixed myself faster too. Now my wavy hair has reappeared again and my mahangin-ba-sa-labas-look has become more frequent. I badly need a hair makeover.

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This is such a cool song. I could totally relate hehe...

Single :: Natasha Beddingfield

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

[Chorus]

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:	11:46 am.
Mood:	hungry.
Music:	Biyahe Tayo - Various Artists.

It was one of those nights when all the good shows have just ended and you're in bed and you just want to sleep but you can't so you continue flippin through channels until you find something worthy to watch. Then I saw James Marsden on the screen. Bingo! Disturbing Behavior's on AXN. This movie was shown like when? 6 years ago? Anyway, I stuck to the movie as I wanted to see Nick Stahl so bad. Nick Stahl plays the rapper-wannabe-seemingly-wasted friend of hottie James Marsden. He wasn't Cyclops then but you could see the potential. But I thought Nick Stahl was hotter. I've had a crush on him ever since I saw him with Mel Gibson on The Man Without A Face. He made a few movies after, Terminator 3 being the most recent but he hasn't been much visible.
Seeing him again made me think of my past celebrity crushes. Here's the list of guys who made me broke just to by magazines.
Omri Katz (Hocus Pocus)
Vincent Kartheiser
Jonathan Jackson
Nick Stahl
Devon Sawa (ONLY when he appeared in The Little Giants. I didn't like him anymore after that)
Scott Whyte (Mighty Ducks 2 and 3. He played Gunner Stahl from Iceland in 2 and the preppie goalie in 3)
Jeremy and Jason London
Leonardo diCAprio (BEFORE he came out in Titanic)
Chris Klein
Josh Harnett

The bottom three were fairly recent. High-schoolish

Here's my list of favorite kiddie/teenybopper movies:
The Sandlot (Mike Vitar prior to Mighty Ducks.)
The Big Green (watched this movie 14 times)
Now and Then (title holder of most watched movie of all time)
Never Been Kissed (who doesn't love drew barrymore flicks?)
10 Things I Hate About You (this is such a winner)
Save the Last Dance (i just love interracial couples and movies with dancing)
Ladybug (I thought Vinessa Shaw was the prettiest girl I've ever seen at that time)
Hocus Pocus (omri katz. yun na yon!)
Masterminds (only because vinnie kartheiser was in it. Did I just call him vinnie?)
Evolver (ethan embry. nuff said)
Mallrats (a classic)
16 Candles (i loooooove Molly Ringwald)
Bring it On (eliza dushku kicks ass!)
The Baby Sitter's Club Movie (because Rachel Leigh Cook fits the role of MaryAnne to a T!)
She's All That (Freddie Prinze Jr. need I say more?)
The Great Mom Swap (although it's a made-for-tv-movie)
Camp Nowhere (mini Jonathan Jackson and Jessica Alba. a must-see)
The Parent Trap (Lindsay Lohan was still adorable)
Mr. Holland's Opus (it's got music so i love it)
Dead Poet's Society (doesn't it make everyone's list?)
Peter Pan (Jeremy Sumpter. he's gonna be a hottie. trust me)
Harry Potter movies (Tom Felton aka Draco Malfoy)
Centerstage (dance dance dance)

I know there's more. I'll add later if I can remember some more...

More to come! Fave kiddie/teenybopper literature and tv series!

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Subject:	Trust in the Lord...He'll make your paths straight...
Time:	4:45 pm.
Mood:	Secured.
Music:	Katie Melua - Lilac Wine.

Give me grace, O my Father, to persevere in the work
to which you have called me, neither leaving it half-done
nor giving up when the first enthusiasm has faded
and other interests attract.
~anonymous

It was one of those days when I was feeling down, worrying about my future when I came across this prayer. And it couldn't have been expressed more perfectly. It just took the words right out of my mouth. See, since summer started I've been attacked my constant worrying about my future career. Not a day went by without me thinking of my future. And after reflecting for some days I've come to a conclusion that I do not know exactly what I want to do and that I do not have a clear goal of what or who I want to become once I step out of my comfort zone, also known as college. It even dawned on me that all my plans of going to graduate school may just be an excuse to delay work. I suddenly didn't know myself anymore.

I've never felt so ashamed of myself for worrying that much, especially since I consider myself a Christian who trusts in the Lord's plans, however different they may be from mine. I was deeply humbled when a friend made me realize that I am not trusting my future with God at all. After he called, I went on to read the bible to remind myself of God's promises. And then I came upon the prayer. It was on the calendar that my cousin gave me for Christmas. And right there, printed on the colorful pages of the calendar were all the answers to my questions.

-- In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your effort with success -- Proverbs 3:6
-- "Help me to believe that all things are from you and that you have a plan for my life, in which each passing incident has a part. Amen."
-- For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." -- Isaiah 55:8 NIV
-- Teach me , O Lord, to discern your will and to faithfully and diligently perform it, that my life may be to your glory. Amen."
-- Lord Jesus, help me to trust in your infinite love, that through the discipline I may give up all that grieves you. Amen.

I'm doing okay now. I'm learning to put my trust in the Lord again.

So what triggered my worries anyway? Well, I have to admit that my internship at Feed the Children has something to do with it. I knew I wanted to work in a humanitarian organization when I first applied at Ateneo. But when I got accepted and my first choice to take up Development Studies was approved, my passion for that kind of work fired up. When I was a sophomore, I decided I wanted to be a social worker. Reading Dave Pelzer's memoir (a man who was a abused by his mother as a child) made me want it even more. So everytime I was asked by peers or by family what I'd want to be I automatically answer that I want to be social worker. If you were to ask me that now, I wouldn't be as confident of my answer.

My experience at Feed the Children has taught me more than any DS class or immersion I've taken or been to. The reality of the country's condition has long been seen by my two eyes. I knew that there were millions of Filipinos who have a hard time putting food on their table yet it was only during internship that I've met people like them and only then had I actually gotten as far as I did to help out. It was during field work that I realized that no amount of studying on social work can actually prepare me for what the work requires. I look at my supervisor and I thought, she's so amazing. I've never met anyone who cares for the human person more than she does. And she's so good at what she does. I can't help but compare myself with her. And that was when I didn't feel so confident anymore. I started doubting if I can actually do it.

And then this company called me up from nowhere and asked me if I wanted to do business. I actually considered the offer especially since I loved their products. To be a lifestyle consultant. It interested me a lot. A LOT. But their philosophy didn't exactly matched mine.

So a more confused me emerged after meeting with that company. I even listed all the professions that I considered doing from when I was young up until now. I wanted to be an archeologist can you believe that? When I realized that I'm not a big fan of the outdoors my dreams were shattered. I considered doing med and being a gerontologist since I liked old people. To work in a nursing home excited me. But then I didn't believe in myself enough. I thought med was not for me. It takes too long and I'm too impatient. And so the list goes on. Recent aspirations include being an interior designer, a make-up artist (for real), and a lifestyle consultant (after that experience I mentioned). But if I pursued other interests, wouldn't I be wasting all I've worked so hard for in Ateneo? But what's four years compared to the rest of your working life? Wouldn't it be more of a waste if I didn't go for what I really love?

The answer didn't take a long time to appear. The prayer above seemed as if it CAME to me. I am a DS student right now. I care for my people and I know I want to be involved in doing social development work one way or another. Other interests may have overpowered this passion for now but I know it's still there. And I know I want to work where I can be truly passionate about what I do. My future work may not be directly related to social development but it doesn't mean that I cannot contribute. I know I can still be involved in other ways. And I do not ever want to feel that I've wasted a lot by going into something I didn't plan. Nothing is ever wasted. Everything I've went through has taught me something somehow.

I still have no exact plan as to what I want to do after college. Maybe it will come during my senior year. Or maybe not. Maybe I won't apply to grad school right away. Maybe I'll take time off to sort my thoughts and get a different perspective. I only pray that I'll be secure with myself during that time, that I may remain true to myself despite seeing the distance that my environment may have moved on by then and that in whatever I do, I'd do it all for God above all reasons.

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Subject:	what a way to spend my 3-day break
Time:	4:12 pm.
Music:	what's up lonely - kelly clarkson.

I remember the first time I ever joined a contest on tv. It was during my senior year in high school and I was a big fan of korean pop then. One of the shows on arirang tv (the korean channel) had a trivia contest that time and the prize was 3 compilation cds of korean songs. So i e-mailed the website and much to my surprise, I found out a week later that I won when the program flashed my name on the bottom of the screen. How cool is that?

Two weeks ago the music channel MYX aired a snippet of the "IDOLS" feature that they'd be airing on april 1st. Being the "Idol" fan that I am, I was naturally excited since they decided to feature the love of my life who's a non-Idol winner but the true winner in my heart nevertheless (yuck! how cheesy can I get?). If you don't know me and my love for that guy then take a look at the picture on the top of this blog. Yep, that's him. His name is clay aiken and i absolutely adore him. Okay, so this channel MYX also had a promo along with the special feature on the Idols. Viewers can send in e-mails to MYX and the lucky person they pick will get the cds of clay, kelly, ruben and gareth gates. I looooove the first three and I don't mind getting another Clay cd but I don't really like gareth. Ok, I don't like him at all! Apart from the cds, one lucky contestant can also win a three-day-all-expense-paid-trip to Malaysia to watch Gareth Gates in concert and even meet him in person. So I joined the contest even though I wasn't expecting to win anything although at the back of my mind I was really hoping, because I wanted to get Kelly and Ruben's cds soooo bad. But then last friday I got a phone call from MYX informing me that I won the cds! whoppee!!! and then the person on the other line, Mila, informed me that I could also win the trip to malaysia but that they have to screen the other contestants too. I honestly didn't care if I win that prize because I'm not even a fan of Gareth. But who got called back a few minutes later to be informed that she won? Yep, yours truly. WHAT. A. BLESSING. I got really excited, well, except for the gareth part cause then I'd have to act like a fan. But it's not like I hate him. I've listened to his cd when I got it and it's actually not bad, it's just not very good. Sorry gareth fans... But get this. When I went to get my cds last monday Mila informed me that I would also be meeting a certain Idol who has Malaysian roots. Yes, it's Guy Sebastian the Australian Idol! Me and my cuz went crazy after Mila mentioned it so now I really have a reason for going haha. I like Guy a lot! As in soooobra.

But really, the Idols aside, I'm just super grateful to God for blessing me with this trip. I've adored Asian countries for a long time and it's great to be given this opportunity to experience Malaysia truly Asia (It HAS to go together. It's their famous slogan) even for just three days. And after the semester I've been through I guess I can consider this as a reward maybe? I dunno, but how I survived that sem is all cause of God's grace.

And guess what? I'm a kelly convert. I didn't like her before. I thought she was too annoyingly bubbly. But I became a closet fan when I heard her rendition of Aretha Franklin's "Respect". After I listened to her cd I'm all out. Yeah, i'm now a fan haha. I love her cd. You guys should go get it. A lot of different tunes to listen to. I recommend "What's Up Lonely" and "Thankful" for R&B lovers and the rest are pop-rock tunes that are catchy and fun (okay, sorry, bad review). Umm what else? Oh yeah, Kelly and Tamyra Gray did a duet called "You thought wrong" which pushes brandy and monica's "the boy is mine" off the top of my list for cheating boyfriends song of the decade.

Apart from all these pop culture that I've been surrounded lately, I've also been involved in my practicum. I've visited the Feed the Children field office in Sucat last monday and I only need to finalize the job description and then i'm off. I'm still hoping that I'd still be involved in the outreach programs. And I pray that after this training I may know if God really wants me to do this kind of work.

Well, that's it for me this week. I'll probably be busy fixing practicum stuff and meeting up with our high school yearbook committee (yep it's not done yet). til next entry! God bless!

~kimmy

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Subject:	Ending the 2nd semester...
Time:	1:39 pm.
Music:	George Huff - Lean on Me.

The last day I went to school, my face got ran over. I was walking in the carpark on my way to the SA department that day. I didn't notice that my ID fell. When I realized that lost it I went back to the carpark and asked the security guard if he has seen it. Then he reached to his drawer and pulled out a squished ID that had a dent in my picture. My favorite ID clip was destroyed beyong repair. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ended a semester with my ID in mint condition. But nevertheless I'm glad I didn't lose it like I did last sem. It was such a hassle going to adsa over and over.

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If you call me Kim, you're probably a friend from high school, and most people at ateneo
If you call me Kimmy, you're probably yam, rose, shirlyn, rc, booger, tito nic, tita bevs, tito andrew, tita vangie and pretty much the rest of the yan clan, regcom people, people from church, bible study mates in school or SFC members
If you call me Chimmy, you're probably Ate Shine, Chene
If you call me Chim, you're probably Chuya or Cassey
If you call me Chimmerz, you're undoubtedly cousin princess a.k.a. 'tateits'
If you call me Kimyeta, you're probably Rain, Pachuchay, rc (when in a playful mood)
If you call me Chimmiyets, you're probably Dimples
If you call me Sistah, you're probably zy-za
If you call me Ate Mimi, you're probably tep-tep
If you call me Ate Kimmy, you're probably brother Migui, my sister Betina, my younger cousins and younger people from church
If you call me Mrs. Aiken, you're probably Karla ;p
If you call me Kimaiken, you're probably Robby
If you call me Kimsy, you're probably Sharmsy
If you call me Lexie, you're probably Johan
If you call me Kimberly, you're probably a high school teacher
If you call me Kimbie, you're probably a chinese high school teacher
If you call me Kimmyhugs, you're probably ryan
If you call me Kimbolai, you're probably my mommy dearest
If you call me Kims, you're also my mommy dearest =)
If you call me Anak, you're probably my parents
If you call me Kimbo, you're probably my lola
If you call me Bubba, you're probably my daddy
If you call me boo, you're probably my daddy or tita peggy
If you call me Kimberly Mae, you're probably tita peggy in a bad mood
If you call me Kimoy, you're probably Jepoy
If you call me Chimmycherara, you're probably Ate Shine, Tateits or Chene
If you call me Ms. Yan, you're probably Dr. Arce

;P

Copied the idea from yam and karla

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Time:	3:17 pm.
Mood:	blessed.

I'd just like to share how God has blessed me so much this semester. I don't think i'm speaking only for myself when i say that this sem has been the most difficult so far. I've had a lot of struggles, not only with my academics but also with my personal life. And how God has sustained me all the way has just been overwhelming, even too good to be true. I can't say that I've given my all this sem. I had a lot of flops and boo-boos, and I wasn't the best daughter, friend, student and child of God. There were even a lot of times when my priorities got mixed up, and i wasn't focusing on the right things. I even pushed Jesus in the backseat, only inviting Him beside me when I needed Him. My "Quiet Times" were the most irregular this sem. Jesus just came last. If I wasn't too sleepy I'd read the bible. And when I remember, I pray. I didn't think of Him often. Looking back, I can't imagine how much I must've hurted him.

But despite the sins I continued to commit, He remained faithful. I do not know how I could have made it through this sem if not for Him. I've received so much more than what I deserved and if that isn't a true manifestation of God's love then I don't know what is. Just yesterday I found out that i was exempted from taking my history final orals. i cried to God a few months ago because i missed one unit test, which is a huge chunk of my grade. then two weeks ago my teacher announced that he was completely scrapping off the unit tests from our grading system. and yesterday, i almost didn't make the B because i got a 2.99 but the teacher rounded it off to a 3 so that's how i got exempted. and that's just one of the miracles that God has done for me. Now I can say that everything good that has been happening to me isn't because of my abilities to cram, or luck. It was because of God. It's to Him that I owe my everything. Thank you Father... I love you so much.

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Subject:	a letter for no one...
Time:	5:47 pm.

I may not be that bright. I may not be able to comprehend things as quickly as you do and there may be times that I wouldn't understand at all. It may take me a while to come up with an answer or I may not have an answer at all. I may not be able to say exactly what is on my mind and I may not be as articulate. But when I pause or say the wrong things, it doesn't give you the right to call me stupid. It doesn't make me a less smarter person than you are. You just know different things. What may be important for you may not be that valuable for me. I do reflect on these things in my own time. I think it's good to know them, but I like thinking about other things. I'm not like you. I accept a lot of things as a given. There are things that I choose not to understand and that's my decision.
If being intellectual means hurting other people by trying to show them that you know more, then I'd rather be ignorant. My Teacher always tells me to be grounded in humility. Maybe you'd like to meet Him? Unlike me, He won't hate you if You put Him down. In fact, He'll be waiting for you to admit that you actually don't know.
Just know this. You don't step on the people just so you could be seen. People do not think alike. Accept that. And respect that.

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