Blurty for Kim Hobart. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (.Kimberly*s Site.). View: Memories. You're looking at 50 entries, after skipping 50 newer ones. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back Day entries or forward 50 entries.

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

Subject: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO BUSYY Time: 8:46 pm. Mood: fuck music, im too busy. Music: HAVE TO PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

yesterday i received the new Thursday album "War All the Time" in the mail. Its friggen awesome, I love it. Tower Records is cool, cause I preordered it and got it a day before the release date! So right now I need to be studying for a Math makeup quiz i have tomorrow.. and sewing my BIKE shirt onto a different tanktop... one that fits me... Bleach is amazing, my converses are now white again, but it didnt work at taking out like rust or something on this tanktop, but ill just sew something over it with all my heart. I called Shaws yesterday, they told me to call today, and I did and talked to the lady. Turns out I'm not getting a job there cause they aren't hiring kids my age... she says call again before my birthday. But the good thing about it is that my aunty and unky are considering giving me an allowance every week instead, which would be MADDD sweet!!! Saves the Day is in 2 DAYS!!! and I feel like I should be super mondo excited, but things are just so tense, I have 2 tests on friday which I have to study for on Wednesday due to lack of time on Thursday, and 2 quizzes on Thursday which I am going to also have to study for on Wednesday. And tomorrow after school I have to makeup the math quiz, attempt to stop by recycling club, go to an appointment, come home and get my homework and studying done, then go to Art Class (yaaay my first one), then come home, get ready for the next day, and attempt sleep. ay. a little humor for the eveing: alrght i miss you like the opposite of heaven! (im at school and i cant use bad words on the systems) ahh jes' emails... so carthartic, so mending, so healing... so soothing!!!(yes i could not figure out what word i wanted, i still dont think i have the right one, thanks paula balla for trying to help, and as to YOU--- just pick whichever word you like best!)

Comments: 1 up and down peel back my skin.

Subject: career aptitude test Time: 8:57 pm. Mood: spastic nerve in my gum. Music: third eye blind- jumper.

im now involved in some special program to make my process of getting into college easier. the first step was for me to take a college major interest test. these are my top 3 areas: 1. photography 2. interior design 3. graphic design graphic design sounds sweet. but i know im going to change my mind, and i hate math and i need to do alot of math for that to happen. went bike riding with joe, was a fatty and got coffee heath bar yogurt. was delish. didn't finish homework, have structured learning 3rd hour. don't want to go to school tomorrow. love you.

Comments: 1 up and down peel back my skin.

Subject: an old picture and a lost earring Time: 10:43 pm. Mood: nostalgic. Music: the background- third eye blind.

this picture made my cry tonight. i miss my dad alot. but i love the picture. this is me, my dad, and my brother... i must have been 6 or 7, my brother was like 9 or 10. this was when i lived in georgia, this is in my old house's foyer. the less than jake/big d show was fine. i don't listen to either one of the bands, i just went cause it was free, but i did know some of the songs. i went in some of the "pits" and i got my teeth what feels like knocked in and i lost an earring and some kid fell on me when they were crowdsurfing, i really thought i broke my neck. i also found someone's cell phone, but they called and i got it back to them. i was almost hoping they'd be really cool and i'd make a friend, but it was all very informal and quick. boston was friggen awesome as hell. me lisa and cassie went to harvard square and i got stuff from the garage: an EMPIRE RECORDS pin from hootenanny's and something else, but i can't tell because its a secret. i love taking the train, cept we were stuck in south station for about 2 hours... everything was way too funny in there, i think we were all a bit ready to get back to stoughton by that point.

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i think im gonna go make muffins Time: 9:40 am. Mood: content. Music: smashing pumpkins - 1979.

i am so agog for the saves the day show: only 11 days!!! and there's another one on november 21st, so i get to see them twice! and thats a decent amount of time in between too. my aunt locked me out of my house yesterday so i ended up meeting up with joe and going back to his house. we looked and the stars and walked around his neighborhood and talked and lost track of time as usual. wouldn't it be nice if all things in life that you decided to get involved in, take a risk at, were innocuous? thus making them not a risk at all, they would be guaranteed to not dissapoint you.

Comments: 5 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: lack of Time: 7:57 pm. Mood: headache/overtired/.... Music: liam lynch - my united states of whatever.

a) sleep b) summer c) money d) job e) time f) running g) closeness to the high school h) free time (yes, that's completely different from time) i) math problems done j) cds ... i think that's it. yesterday joe and i met at the graveyard again. we talked and then he came over. somehow i ended up making a fake bus pass for him. funny thing is, i got on the bus this morning and there was joe. its too damn funny, he gets to ride the bus for free, while others must pay $180. I'm rather proud of my computer skills, it almost looks like the real thing. i got 3 hours of sleep last night... and i have had a constant headache all day today. i should be asleep right now, i don't know why i'm not. i don't mind being in school, i really like almost all of my teachers, and the others i'll just learn to deal with. my english teacher is friggen awesome as hell. lets see... how did i screw up my day... oh yeah, i was in the wrong homeroom the entire morning, and i don't have a locker as a result of it. go to staples on the first day of school, you are guaranteed to run into someone there. i saw headaboo and joelle. it was wicked sweet. speaking of sweet, my aunt had a craving for root beer barrels, so we headed over to the candy store and i got candy cigarettes, these mint chocolate pastel sprinkle things, and jelly bellies.

Comments: 1 up and down peel back my skin.

Subject: me no know Time: 3:40 am. Mood: creative.

my nails are friggen cool right now. well, my left hand is interesting and geometrical and obscure whereas my right hand is an open canvas. expecting to go to a college seminar this afternoon, i ended up going to decathalon and getting 2 pairs of running shoes and some sweats. FINALLY i have shoes to run in, aside from my unsupportive converses, all be cause my aunt and uncle were a week too early for the seminar. this evening i came to katrina's and we took a trip to get eggs and on the way were SO close to getting run over. all i remember is hearing the brakes go on so loud and i covered my eyes and finished crossing the street. i got kinda shook up after that. the guy was an asshole about it too, he totally blamed the entire occurrence on us. we didnt get eggs cause the store was closed, but later headaboo and i walked to shaws and got eggs and more cake mix and frosting. its rather late, i intend on staying up a bit longer, getting a tad bit sleep, not getting much sleep tomorrow night either, and going to bed early tuesday night. cause gosh knows no one can fall asleep the night before the first day of school.

Comments: 1 up and down peel back my skin.

Subject: By the time this paragraph sees print, psyched, nerd, ripoff, dude, geek, and funky will be... Time: 8:48 pm. Mood: unsure. Music: coldplay- clocks.

...the words of yesteryear." ~The Elements of Style "On the second day we got into flatlands. The Texas panhandle, and then western Oklahoma, stretched out all around us like a colossal pancake. There was no way of judging where you were against where you were going, and as a consequence you tended to start feeling you were stuck out there, rolling your wheels on some trick prairie treadmill. Estevan, who had apparently spent some time on a ship, said it reminded him of the ocean. He knew a Spanish word for the kind of mental illness you get from seeing too much horizon." ~The Bean Trees Public transportation is a bitch. I love taking the train, but once me and jessica got off, the BAT bus displayed all actions of hell; pure Pandemonium. i dont even want to get into it. we ended up with an hour to spare at the westgate mall and missed the last stoughton bus home. i was so scared to get in trouble, and i didn't get yelled at or anything. i got town spa pizza for dinner and finished my last summer reading book. im free? I don't want the summer to end.

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: holy shit its been forever Time: 12:33 pm. Mood: wanna get home. Music: kid rock!!!!!!.

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwasssssssssup? just teasing. okay tuesday i went to pizza to see katie, that was nice, but the rest of it sucked. i can't stand silences, they're ridiculous. i went to the westgate mall with rachel iana and kat and we ended up at the galleria mall with greg and mike from dissector. i was THIS close to getting caught... oh well. wednesday i stayed home all day reading and being a loner. thursday i babysat in the morning, and then stayed home, i was supposed to be reading, but i met joeth on his walk home and i had a really good talk with him. note to self: when ever in need of a good conversation, just find cup of joe. its the type of talking where you never run out of things to say, hell, you even forget half the stuff you wanted to say because its just so constant. i love it. i started walking him home and instead we just hungout in this graveyard by my house. i've never "hung out" in there before. its kinda nice... not that im like deaaaaaaaaaath metal raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!, but i just never realized i had a close location that wasn't home and wasn't buildings and roads and stuff. that night i went grocery shopping with my aunt and i got a pint of ice cream which i managed to successfully down while watching the mtv awards thingy and talking with joe on the teley. i finished most of my summer reading, THANK BOB, but i've just got one book left and its easy, and then i have a factoring packet thats hard as fuck. yesterday my aunt drove me to the bat bus centre and i took the bus to the montello train station and rode all the way to the middleboro/lakeville FOR FREE!!! i got picked up there by jess and her mom and eddy and we went to wrentham outlets. you know whats the best store in the friggen world? arden b. its fucking expensive as fuck but they have the cooooolest shiznit. i didnt buy anything that time. but i got a green illin' shirt, a pretty black dress with light blue lace, a black longsleeved shirt, and a new pair of headphones that are really weird. last night i slept over jess', we watched OLD SCHOOL and i really liked it. this morning we got breaky at dunkins.

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: pfff Time: 1:27 pm. Mood: down in the dumps.

i can STAND my aunt. i really really really hate being around her. i feel so low. as if im not going to ever return to any standard that i perhaps once met, which she now focuses on me being. i dont understand how long i can continue using my excuses for my life. and i always say i hate so much using them. i really cannot figure out what is important. and why it is so. she always asks me what i have in store for my future, and i never know. i dont really know if i SHOULD know. its hard to just sit there and take it all in when you're being constantly ridiculed. of course i am going to be defensive. its not like i have no self confidence or something. am i really going nowhere and doing nothing with my life? (rhetorical question)

Comments: 3 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: BRACKET Time: 3:36 pm. Mood: discombobulated. Music: hot rod circuit- radio song.

"I think I have finally found something to bounce back my hope. I've waited for it for so long and now I don't have to wait anymore. Its here! All that I've waited for is here. All the happiness and content and enjoyment is here. I've just waited for so many things in my life... so many. Nothing's ever what I've wanted it to turn out to be- I'm still waiting for most of it. For some of it, I just can't even wait anymore. And you trying waiting around for the same thing for about 5 years- sometimes getting your hopes up- only just to get them knocked down. But you just keep waiting and waiting. Can you understand why I am at a loss for hope? Why I've lacked so much in that area of my life? - quite possibly one of the most important things a child could attain. And I do miss it alot. I almost feel responsible for my wait time- for I;ve given up. Who would ever give up at something they wanted so badly? Its so easy to give up. But it hurts so much. Its just too hard to decide between hurting from giving up or hurting from being let down. Please please please don't let this let me down." Yesterday I went over to Steve]'s house and we listened to music and hung around. We got Friendly's and along with my chocolate milkshake and his banana split came really full stomachs. Janelle called me because she had my shampoo and she and Kemper came and picked us up and drove us back to Steve]'s. It was really good to see both of them. I have been having quite possibly the best time in the past two days. I am just so so so happy. Today I had to see my mom and nana. My family went to Belmont (which I had no clue that was where we were going) and got Brigham's for lunch. Its so depressing being around my mom.. I hate it. Its official, I have a Saves the Day ticket, so I have decided to do a countdown. Starting now, only 24 days until Chris Conley and the gang are MINE!!!!!!!! (yah, Steve]... i'm NOT sharing!!!)

Comments: 4 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: oh yeah, here's my schedule Time: 3:03 pm.

a- alg 2 honors- foley b- english honors- dennison c- world history honors- bridgeforth d- french 3 honors- lisker e- biology college- lacroix f- art 2- wall g- structured learning see you september 3rd! ;) (er, 4th? im not sure)

Comments: 5 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Time: 10:31 pm. Mood: ecstatic. Music: motion city soundtrack- the future freaks me out.

I am currently extremely excited because on September 18th Steve] Prisco and I are going to see Saves the Day and Taking Back Sunday!!! IT'S GOD!!!!!!!!!!! Here are some pictures I have scanned from camp so far... I got alot developed the other day... I have alot to scan. Sorry if they're a bit distorted, I'll have them all on my website soon and they'll look normal. Day Hike Me and Jes at Emerald Pool Freezing Cold Water at Emerald Pool The Group of Day Hikers.... we had no idea what we were getting in to... Katie Jes Me and Julia at the top of the mountain... it was really windy and we were exhausted from hiking uphill for 5 miles. Friends Anne Nudist Colony Bunk Member #1 during showertime- Jes Nudist Colony Bunk Member #2 during showertime- Julia Nicole and Anne laughing their asses off 10th Grade trip to Ogunquit Bunk 20 all dolled up for the first social

Comments: 4 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i TOLD you i was going away for a month Time: 2:32 pm. Mood: nostalgic as fuck. Music: the beatles- strawberry fields forever.

I FRIGGEN MISS CAMP LIKE NO TOMORROW i hate it. i just want to be there right now. in my dirty ass cabin with my best friends in the entire world. in the showerhouse with bugs everywhere. i just want to be there right now. i had quite possibly the best summer of my life because of those four weeks in bridgton, maine. i can't believe its over. it always passes by in a second. i'd like to cry over it, but i can't. i miss the people and i miss the place... but all i can think of when i really think about camp is that i just want to be reliving those moments all over again. i feel so new. camp has definitely changed me. damnit... fucking A. you know, i was there and i all i thought of was moving on to the next step, coming home. not that i really badly wanted to go home, i just knew that was my next destination... i don't know where i'm getting at. all i can say is that i had the best time ever at camp and i miss everyone so much. thank you so much.

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i say the joke's on me Time: 9:40 pm. Mood: gotta peeee. Music: ra - do you call my name.

Last night I forced myself to stay awake and I read a good chunk of The Bean Trees, which is a very good book. I went to bed late again, but not as bad, 1ish. I wasted my morning away and then Joe called so I could go out. I took a bath which I never do because my tub sucks, the water turns cold from the faucet for the tub, but not for the shower. But I have gotten used to cold water, and I can now stand it. So I took a nice bath, and then I rode my bike to Ames Pond where I met Joe. We did more swimming this time, I think I was just trying to get in my 6 dollars worth cause I had to pay for both of us. Tonight I went to Cassie's house because today is her 15th birthday. Happy 15th Birthday Cassie!!! We had ice cream cake with her family and Nelson. I have decided to keep on trying being friends with her because I will always love her. She was such a loyal and good friend to me, and I could never forget that. Time will pass, and things shall heal.

Comments: 4 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: stimulation for the mind Time: 10:40 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: radiohead- paranoid android.

While Iana slept through the entire morning, I talked on the phone with Joe. We left my house around 3:30, when Tim and Guff picked us up. I have never hung out with them before, and it was very interesting. We went to Walgreens where I picked up pictures I had left there developed since February. Then we drove to the South Shore Plaza. They dropped us off at Greenbrook, near Iana's house. Its interesting, because I would hate to be so close minded to only introducing myself to those with the same morals as I. Because they DEFINATELY don't have anywhere near to the same morals as I do. But you know, thats just a new world opened up for me. I had the most intellectual, mind-bottling, enlightening conversation with them. For hours. About everything. And its so awesome when you talk to people and you're all so excited. We were all just enjoying it so much. It made me feel rejuvenated, and enthralled in a state of mind where I could find happiness, and appreciative of life, and .... wanting to do something good with my life. After sitting for over an hour in the car, Iana and I left and walked to her house. I went home later on and I just finished watching Donnie Darko with my aunt. She really liked it.

Comments: 5 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: monkey Time: 11:37 am. Mood: bored and full. Music: radiohead- just.

sunday night i slept over iana's. we rented Detroit Rock City and The Evil Dead. I didn't watch the evil dead cause I suck at scary movies. Monday was Iana's birthday. Happy 15th Birthday Iana!!! I went to my therapist and me and my aunt went shopping. I got a tanktop from the thrift store and a new bookbag. I no longer have the joy of telling people that I've had my bookbag since the 6th grade and that its falling apart. We went to Wendys and Wal*Mart and I got camp stuff. Yesterday I rode my bike to Katrina's. Me, her, Jess, and Lisa went to St Vinnys and I got Iana a stuffed penguin and I bought the book, Dicey's Song for 10 cents. We took the bus to Westgate. Well, it was supposed to go to Westgate mall, but we ended up getting dropped of at the BAT bus station. We had food and I got two donut twists thingys for the price of one. We took a bus from there to the mall. I bought a ticket for the Palladium show this Saturday, even though my aunt told me I couldn't go, cause Lisa said if I didn't go she'd buy it off of me. I also got 5 TANKTOPS from the Rave for like 24 bucks. I love tanktops soooo much. Anywho, we hopped on a bus, I went back to Kats and then rode my bike home. My aunt decided to change her mind about me being allowed to go to the show, so YAY now I'm going. And I'm so happy cause I missed Darkbuster last Saturday cause my freaking plane flight got cancelled, and now they're playing this show!!! Iana called and came and slept over. I went to bed sooo late last night, like at 4 am. Me and Iana were up listening to the radio, which is always fun, and cutting apart clothes in catalogs and making people and/or outfits out of them. She's stillllll asleep now, and I woke up at 9:30 when my aunt left for work. I hate sleeping in anyways.

Comments: 5 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i suck at scary movies Time: 11:24 pm.

for those of you who didn't know where the hell I was, I've been at the beach in North Carolina for a week. It was fine i guess. Man am I tired. I've definately been giving myself quite some sleep deprivation. Uh, I don't know what to update about, it'd just be me bitching about stupid shit. I guess its nice to go away cause you realize the people that you've missed. Its just so hard to believe where I was a whole year ago... compared to now.

Comments: 7 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: INDEPENDANCE??? day Time: 10:56 am. Mood: hmm. Music: dashboard confessional- saints and sailors.

alright, so i want independance from the rules created by my aunt and uncle. but i SO want dependance on someone. last night sucked so badly. i got in a huge fight with my brother on the phone during the day when Iana and Jess were here. I was screaming and swearing. Let's just say, anyone can say anything, and you can believe them. Anyone can lie. Words can be misused. So I went to fireworks and while I was gone my brother called me back because I had hung up on him earlier. He left like 3 messages, all of which were deleted by my uncle, but whatever. I was mature and I called him back, and me and him are fine. More fine than we've been in months. I still don't really know about my brother though. But my aunt and uncle here and my aunt and uncle there are still NOT fine. And that, I think, is the REAL problem. I would like to welcome you all to my ACTUAL journal which I write my life in, without editing anything: (I wrote this poem last night and here's a bit of my entry, which may help you and me better understand what's going on in my head) "Lost in my own mind To choose which world, I cannot decide. As I factor in the person I cannot leave behind. All these troubles they make me want to hide. It just seems so unfair I don't know how to deal with all of this. And sometimes I think if I just had that one person there They could provide me with a place to run and find bliss. I just can't sit around as I hear story after story, But I don't know where to stand. Either way I appear to be ona side of the mystery So shall I sit here and wait for eternity, or have I been banned? Must I grab at what has been so familiar to me? I can only question all these authorities. THis conclusion I must come to will not come naturally. Influtential opinions will come from majorities. Can I not simply forget it all? To experience life with so many events And yet I still refuse to fall. Nothing makes sense. ...I am stuck right smack in the middle of a tug of war. I am the line which decides who will lose. I have not chosen to represent such a destination of bitterness." This is where I say I've had enough and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now. A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises and I don't believe that I'm getting any better.

Comments: 5 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: me gots to peeee Time: 10:34 pm. Mood: dreding my aunt being mad @ me. Music: the get up kids- 10 minutes.

i swear on my life i ACCEDENTALLY clicked the linked in danny's profile to do this quiz thing. then, some frank guy told me to answer all these questions. Which Donnie Darko character are you? by Shay from now on if i put in an aim convo *=times passed in conversation joe came over today. we made cinnamon rolls. we meaning i put the rolls on the tray, frosted them and ate half of them, and joe frosted them and just ate 2. we rode our bikes (if you want to call joe's piece of crap a bike) to ames pond to go swimming (if you want to call 3 hours talking and less than 1 hour actually in the pond swimming). hey, whatever, it was a helluva good time. YoMothA1427 (5:53:38 PM): today was so rock & roll * YoMothA1427 (6:36:16 PM): kimbert? * YoMothA1427 (6:39:36 PM): i hope im not spelling sweet (as in perservation) YoMothA1427 (6:39:42 PM): sweet YoMothA1427 (6:39:42 PM): am i saying sweet deal YoMothA1427 (6:39:42 PM): or sweet deal (as in leaking water from skin) star8brite23 (6:40:20 PM): sweat star8brite23 (6:40:23 PM): buddy * YoMothA1427 (9:42:50 AM): man we shoulda took a pic of you lookinjg like a red neck i was supposed to go to the movies tonight with kim and kat, but we ended up going with steve prisco, joe, and the thompsons to town spa. that was fun. but the end of the day sucked when kim spazzed out and i got embarrassed and i called my aunt to tell her i was going to the skatepark and she freaked out on me. i don't know if they're mad at me now or what. i don't get why they're mad, i just asked a damn question! let's face it, danny reis is hilarious/awesomer. atthedrivein0679: WHO, ILL KICK THERE ASS * atthedrivein0679: what did u say about wanting to be in the sack with danny reis atthedrivein0679: OOOO atthedrivein0679: THERE, THATS WHERE I WENT atthedrivein0679: THERE OR BUST BABY * atthedrivein0679: THERE!, POPULATION, ME!

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: yesterday's embarrassing moments Time: 1:28 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: recover- pardon the wait.

i met kat and jessica at the gazebo at faxon park for a picnic, even though i was the only one eating. the bands playing were arriving early and i got to see will and andrew and mrs martin and mrs fortune, and i haven't in what feels like so long, just cause i used to see will like every day. so he gave me a hug and lifted my feet off the ground. embarrassing moment #1: when i waved hi to andrew I tripped on the curb and fell right on my face and hurt my shin. embarrassing moment #2: when i was waving hi to dan I tripped again. alot of people showed for battle of the bands. it was a good time. i haven't seen Little Steve and the Throwaways play in so long, and I got to hear the new song which made me smile times ten. Singing to CIG was fun. I had already seen TSP twice this weekend, but they put on a good show and deserved to win first place, they're really talented. after it was over people were just hanging around and i noticed these orthodox jewish guys walking by. next thing i know i look over to where joe is and he's got a yamika on and is talking to these guys. i go over to see whats going on and i can not stop laughing. it was the funniest thing. joe was getting bar mitzvahed by these guys! i knew the prayers they were telling him to repeat and so i joined in. he looked pretty silly, but the guys were wicked cool. they were out there to teach people about the jewish religion. i don't really have much belief in a god or anything, but i think its a pretty neat religion. we hung out in wendy's and man oh man did we have some good laughs. i left with a bunch of people to go back to dannys house. on the way, ray decided he was going to walk like 100 feet behind us and act like he was stalking us. so every time we turned around, even though we could clearly see he was following us, he would hide behind a pole or a tree. man, it was so funny. so we went to the gibbons and ray looked soo funny trying to cross this huge open field and hide at the same time. by then, he had acquired a "gun". we played at the playground and when ray caught up to us he just goes "Hey guys!" like no big deal. okay, so like I said, ray's not normally humorous in my opinion, but it was hilarious. embarrassing moment #3: we decided to take the shortcut through the woods behind the gibbons. there was a small puddle of mud, and everyone went to the right of it and i decided to be stupid and go to the left. well, i was wearing flip flops and i got stuck in the mud. it was covered up to my mid-shins. sooo bad. i managed to get my feet out of the mud, but i only saved one flip flop! i refused to walk with just one flip, so i began searching for the flop. joe and danny stayed behind and it was so funny cause we're all digging in the mud and joe keeps telling me how much of a hick i look. mike assatly came back, but by then danny had found my other flip flop. the funny thing was, they only cost me a dollar, so here we are, taking like 20 minutes to search for something only worth 50 cents. poor joe and danny got all muddy. danny saved the day and found it. the moment became even more embarrassing when we show up to danny's house and his mom sees me all muddy. i felt bad, but she wasn't very nice about the whole thing. its not like i got mud in her house, i cleaned up and everything. oh well. we hung out at dannys and walked to andys food mart where i got LITTLE DEBBIE SNACKS!!! sweet deal! i had an awesome time talking to joe. i met kim at the portuguese festival and then went home. i guess i wasn't all that embarrassed about the flip flop deal. it just a really kluzty thing to happen to me. joe says the "freedman genes" are kicking in. he also tells me how much flip flops suck and by that point i began to believe him. i COULD NOT go to sleep last night at all. no clue... i think its just the classic sunday night routine for me, to not be able to fall asleep. every single sunday it must happen or the whole pattern will be thrown off! today's been exhausting and it's only 2 o'clock.

Comments: 3 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: On a happier note... Pictures!!! Time: 1:28 pm.

( Skatepark Times ) ( Sneaking Out )

Comments: 5 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i'm so god damn sick of fucking everything Time: 10:57 pm.

you know... none of this would have happened if my father didn't die. my aunt and uncle don't talk to my uncle in georgia and he is the "executor" of the will and he "doesn't send child support, is a raging alcoholic, and is probably spending your money". she said my father shouldn't have chosen him to be the executor. my father was alive when he chose this person. i remember the day he told me he had come home from doing his will with his attourney. fucking ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE what the fuck.... what the fuck. i am such a freaking indecisive person. so i tell everyone its A OK that i go to the beach and spend 3 days in georgia. and of course later on, i change my mind. which doesn't really work out well when you've got plane tickets that cost money to change. i'm sorry for changing my mind. i really really really shouldn't have to be dealing with this.

Comments: 6 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i want to go swimming Time: 5:36 pm. Mood: pissed at self.

garry's house sucks. all they do here is smoke pot. note to self to stay home instead of trekking out here next time. last night i took the train for my first time into boston. headaboo kat and jess came with me. we hung around harvard square. i went to hootenanny's but it was really pointess cause all the clothes were like over 30$ and i'm not wasting my money on that. i got Recover- Rodeo and Picasso at Newbury Comics. Near the big Au Bon Pain there was this crazy guy that was doin some "anti-christmas" thing and I stopped and listened to him and he was mocking President Bush and the war and stuff. He was wicked awesome. He made points about Jesus saving us and stuff... he had this pun where he used a Cheez-Its box... cause they sound the same. I got a book at the Harvard Book Store for a dollar... its called "the anti-novel" or something like that. its an anthology of experimental fiction stories. my aunt was wicked cool last night. she drove us home and we blasted the radio. jess slept over.

Comments: 3 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: past events Time: 10:05 pm. Mood: peachy. Music: dashboard confessional- so impossible.

friday was draining. i can't believe matt moffitt died. my poor poor friends... saturday was pretty crazy. who would have known i'd end up running around in garry's back yard with a bunch of drunk kids in their underwear? thank god joe was there and sober. man, did i get soaked. sunday was... sunday. i guess it sucked. i slept over jessica's and today we went to the mall. i finally got a bathing suit except the bottom part doesn't cover my ass. that's where shorts come in to play... so summer's officially started. i've got alot of things i want to get done... like read my assigned books and continue riding my bike and running. tonight i did 5 laps in a row. my record so far. i've just got to keep getting better, that's all. and my uncle fixed my bike, so tomorrow im doing a big bike riding session. i think this whole "stop thinking so much" thing is working for me. i may be ruining myself even more, but its working and im not feeling guilty. so i think i need to alter some of my summer plans. i don't want to be in georgia for 3 days after the beach. a week with my dad's family is plenty of time. so now i'm absolutely terrified to try and change those plans. i am so so so scared. and my brother doesn't help because he's bitching about how he wants me there, but i think its a bunch of bullshit. he never calls. he only wants me there so he can show off his "new life". i fucking hate his new life i dont want to see his new life. something/someone give me enough strength just to say no to them and their manipulations. i feel so weak when i hear them conning me into going.

Comments: 4 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: Today's List of Cool People Time: 11:01 pm. Mood: i want to be tired. Music: i have the Limbo Rock song stuck in my head. LIMBO LOWER NOW.

1. Ms. O'Grady (I love her to death and nothing will change that. Today was our "goodbye" from 9th Grade Art I, but we plan on staying in touch. She handed me a mini Sketch Pad and I started crying. I will see her soon, I will see her soon, I will see her soon...) 2. Scott, Ms. O'Grady's Boyfriend (A quiet but interesting person. Seems to be completely in love with her and she in turn. Wins my uttermost respect for bringing happiness into her life.) 3. Katie Solari's Mom (For without her, I would have been wandering in the rain with no destination. She drove me home today.) 4. Headaboo (She called me today and left an awesome message. We had a lovely phone conversation. No one ever calls me.) 5. The McCann Residence (Ok, so maybe its not a person. But babysitting always seems to put me into child mode.) 6. My Aunt (She came home with an Au Bon Pain cookie today for me. We had a stimulating conversation based on depression *nothing new* and my summer.)

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Time: 2:39 pm. Mood: bored.

please someone shoot me i am so fucking bored. things NEVER work out. i think i've been sitting here for about 2 hours doing the SAME thing.

Comments: 3 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: NATTIN MUCH Time: 2:00 am. Mood: fine. Music: saves the day- firefly.

im in health and its usually sweet going on the computers and whatnot, but i dont know, this is kind of boring. im talking to some people, but not really. you know its really not that hard to get back in contact with people? all it takes is trying and stuff. i have recycling club and NO ONE is going today. and then i have to take the freaking late bus home. I might just end up walking again, but i think i have too many books. i dont want it to rain too early in the afternoon because i want to go and workout some more... i realized today how great of a song firefly is today. and was singing it today with will and john said i had a GOOD VOICE!!! hahaha! he's usually sarcastic and joking around so i didnt believe him and he told me he was serious and its still really hard for me to believe. cassie has a good voice. will always tells me i get to do backups for little stevie EVERY TIME I SING and its always making fun of me. I like people that CAN'T sing, it makes life interesting and whatnot. you know how you relate to a song and have this set thing it reminds you of, and then you get over that thing and listen to the song and are like ooooh wooow. or something like that. Despair can ravage you if you turn your head around to look down the path that's led you here, cause what can you change? You're a vessel now floating down the waterways. To me you are the light from a light bulb that breaks sometimes and the tender warmth inside is released into my life and it smothers me in flames that lick and scorch my face. As the smoke reaches the sky, know I'll burn for you tonight.

Comments: 6 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: production through consequences Time: 5:37 pm. Mood: fit! :D. Music: i have "second son" by dirty water stuck in my head.

i got in trouble because last night at 1 AM, i got a phone call and my aunt and uncle were mad because the person didn't leave their name and they hung up. they also are mad because they were woken up. they think its my fault and therefore i was not allowed to go to pizza today. no one went anyways, so im over it. so instead, because its so freaking gorgeous outside, i decided to run and ride my bike and whatnot. i ran for 1.9 miles (sometimes accompanied by Kathryn, the awesomer I babysit)! i rode my bike to the usual stop-point (ames pond) and back home. i also did a decent amount of sit-ups. call me workout barbie, but man am I proud of myself! it also puts me in a good mood. and no, i'm not trying to lose weight because i think im FAT, i want to be more athletic, tis all! sunday i went to brunch with my mom, and it was the usual deal with her. the restaurant sucked, i mean it wasn't like i was expecting 5 star, just they SUCKED. i could have sworn the strawberries on my waffle were poisoned... Then i went to the westgate mall with jessica. It was awesome! i rode my bike when i got home cause it was pretty outside. man, do i love nice weather. yesterday being monday, i had to stay after school and work on my art project. then me and iana and kat walked to baskin robbins with will and i treated everyone for ice cream. sometimes i think i'm too uptight and greedy about my money, i like giving people things but i think i'm really stubborn about how i go about doing it. i didn't really treat everyone because they're all expected to pay me back. :/ then we took will to st vinnys for his first time and found nothing, cept he found a dance shirt, but once again, no mulah. we walked back to kats and when i called my aunt and uncle to tell them what i was up to, they sounded FINE about the whole thing. i mean, why wouldn't they be? iana was giving me a ride home! but after last night, they were complaining about it. today we're supposed to have a meeting about "stuff" AKA things i've done wrong. you've heard the last 2, i think there's like 4 things or something... one of them is that i had to be woken up by michael monday morning because i slept through my alarm (i STILL made the bus on time), and the other one is that i gave my aunt an attitude last night at dinner. I'll spare you the details because i feel like im typing too much. so at the convention of how much i suck, i think i'll disregard lying to them and making up excuses, just go with what they say, and apologize. i NEVER get in trouble, or get caught, and look at the STUPID things i get punished for. hmmm... lately i've been writing an awful lot, journal and now here.

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Subject: i never do these things... Time: 11:38 am. Mood: apathetic. Music: thursday- standing on the edge of summer.

Start Time: 11:42 am Pick up a book and write a sentence at random from it. "I think he was especailly happy because I used to kiss this boy in the neighborhood a lot when I was very little, and even though the psychiatrist said it was very natural for boys and girls to explore things like that, I think my father was afraid anyway." ~The Perks of Being A Wallflower, page 124 Do the same with a lyric from a song. "I can feel you dreaming of me and the time when our steps are retraced and I creep through the twilight to that hidden place, beyond the lonely, I'll meet you." ~AFI, Wester What posters do you have in your room? i have alot of things i printed off my computer and some of my artwork, the only real poster I have is of a faery. Can you sing? the question is MAY i sing... i have the ability to sing, but not well What's your favorite color of post-it note? white How many cd's do you own? i dont know... like 50 or more Ever bought a cd for just one song? when i was in 4th grade probably Have you ever lied to get off the phone? yes Have you ever written a survey? nope How about a song? musically? or lyrically? tried to Or maybe a poem? yes Are you addicted to Napster? no Would you ever shave someone else's head? yes, that looks like fun, but only if they wanted me to Name your favorite type of music: just rock stuff in general Are you a vegetarian? yes Describe your bedroom: Its downstairs in my basement, it used to be a storage room. From the door in the right corner theres a mirror and things on this shelf that goes all the way around my room, like a blowdryer and whatnot. I have my rings and bracelets and elastics near it. Then I have my desk and above that on the shelf theres a box where I keep all the notes and memoirs I get. On the wall above my desk theres a celestial calandar Iana got me for last christmas and a bulletein board. Going to the left I have a piggy bank and more crap. Then theres my bed in the far right corner. The shelves surrounding it have a phone, clock, "pocket" dictionary, my current journal and book im reading, clipboard and tape and glue. My bed has royal purple sheets and a black comforter, the pillows on it are black and silver and i have one purple quilted looking pillow. Above the head of my bed theres a window and on the wall to the right of my head theres a fuse box. Going to the left its just the same shelf, where I have all my books, the few movies that I own, and all the composition notebooks I've ever written on it. The shelf ends there. The far left wall has closet doors that lead to the furnace which is really loud at night, but I'm a deep sleeper. Then theres my dinky closet that I just keep my old memory crap, some shoes, and dirty clothes in. Then I have my bureaus where I keep my clothes. The one closest to my closet has candles and incense on it, and over it is my faery poster. The one near my door has picture frames, some filled, some empty and trolls and crap. Then theres my light switch and the door, which has a coat hanger thing on it. The carpet is a royal deep red and the walls are a light gray, the wood for the shelves and doors is just plain color wood, its too bright in my opinion. current mood: disatisfied current music: thursday- cross out the eyes current taste: leftover milk current hair: parted and in a ponytail bun loop. current dress: my big black new orleans hoodie, pink flower fuzzy slippers, black undershorts, rachel's black tanktop, and lacy black underwear current annoyance: myself current smell: air? current longing: to be with someone current game: i don't usually play games besides spider solitare current thing I ought to be doing: making plans to go out, or eating healthy food and exercising current windows open: AIM, untitled notepad of my dreams from last night, Blurty, Mapquest, Kazaa, and a folder of lyrics current desktop picture: my icon times a million current favorite group: thursday current book: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen current cds in stereo: Dirty Water current colour of toenails: hot pink current refreshment: none current worry: if im acting like an idiot current favorite celeb: I don't pay much attention... I guess the lead singer of TBS, Adam, has gotten me ever since Kat put that hot picture of him on my locker current hate: the fact that I can't drive and don't have a car today have i .. smiled?: yes laughed?: yes cried?: no bought something?: no danced?: no were sarcastic?: i forget talked to an ex?: yes watched your favorite movie?: nope a last time for everything....... last book you read: Sloppy Firsts by Megan Macafferty last song you heard: well, now I'm listening to Paris in Flames, so its Cross out the eyes last thing you had to drink: skim milk last time you showered: yesterday morning last thing you ate: 2 donut sticks :P do you... smoke?: no do drugs?: no have sex?: no sleep with stuffed animals?: sometimes i sleep with my blanket I've had since like 3rd grade live in the moment?: when I get lost in the moment, otherwise, I don't know, not when I'm writing in my journal, cause I'm always thinking about the past and future have a dream that keeps coming back?: no play an instrument?: no believe there is life on other planets?: i dont know, i dont think about it much read the newspaper?: nope have any gay or lesbian friends?: i know some who are bisexual, and i know some gay people believe in miracles?: i guess, but i dont know why theyre called miracles if theyre going to happen, theyre gonna happen no matter what believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: lately i've been doubting it Consider yourself tolerant of others?: not if im constantly around them, i can easily find something to annoy me. but i am, for the most part, very tolarant consider love a mistake?: no have a favorite candy?: ... donut sticks count as candy! believe in astrology?: no believe in magic?: no believe in God?: no go to church?: no, i used to go to temple do well in school?: sometimes, i guess yeah, i usually get honor roll go to or plan to go to college?: i plan on it, but i don't know if i will right after high school wear hats?: no have any piercings?: my ears are pierced, but i dont wear any earrings have any tattoos?: no hate yourself?: no have an obsession?: i dont think i do, no have a secret crush?: yes do they know yet?: yea, i think collect anything?: my journals, typewriters have a best friend?: yes, Jessie from Vermont wish on stars?: i have before, I don't think to anymore like your handwriting?: sometimes have any bad habits?: being picky, being loud, procrastinating care about looks?: i think you need to be attracted to a person when youre in a relationship thats more than friends. and i also think i feel better when i am confident in how i look. believe in witches?: no believe in Satan?: no End Time: 12:09 pm

Comments: 2 ups and downs peel back my skin.

Blurty for Kim Hobart. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Website (.Kimberly*s Site.). View: Memories. You're looking at 50 entries, after skipping 50 newer ones. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back Day entries or forward 50 entries.