|
||||||||
|
I'm usually a very happy person. Alot of people have noted that my enthusiasm and happiness shows in my writing, in my interactions, in the way I present myself. I'm usually a very happy person, but today isn't one of those days. Today I'm crying and sad and not at all where I want to be in emotions. And there's really no root of it. It's just a culmination of alot of things. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, but today wasn't. I hate that a tight-knit group can turn claustrophobic. I hate that I will never reach the level of perfection that is set for me because it changes everyday. I hate that I'm judged for being myself. I hate that my never being able to fit into societal norms will make people uncomfortable. I hate that other people's stress can rub off on me. I hate that I'm lonely and sad and crying. I hate that silly comments that have no real power can reduce me to such emotions. I hate that of all the things I've achieved, I can only remember the things I didn't right now. I came home from work early, I don't foresee any writing getting done tonight, and I see this as pretty much a perfect end to a terrible day. Tomorrow will be better, but today wasn't. I'm going to go read some blind Ray K stories, maybe pop over to some of the SH communities, and just be me. At least there is someplace where I can do that and not be chastised. |
||||||||
|
|
rejected.