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[19 Aug 2004|06:11pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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slipknot-pulse of the maggots |
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well, i've decided to put this journal in use.
partly because i actually know the people who read mah livejournal and surprisingly enough would rather have random people viewing the rants about my fucked up bitch of a life.
anyway, it's winter and i'm going through the usual fucking deep dark depression that comes along with it.
unfortunately this year there's no school or any activities(besides seeing my lovely bf, andrew)to fall back onto. every day has been the same since february and i'm at my wits end with emotional drainage. today i went to another USELESS fucking appointment with my psych, who refuses to put me where i belong for this period(hospital). she calmly sat there as i cried and tuned out to the world, while my parents talked with her and took in all her bullshit.
she said we'll see how i am on monday and then re-assess the situation. i can't fucking take it anymore, i'm not able to wallow in this shit for another 3 days. getting drunk and stoned doesn't even help anymore.
there's no point having plans for the rest of my life when i'm not sure if i can get through this awful period. living a worthless boring existence takes its toll after 6 months.
fuck it.
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