| its been a while! | ||||
| 11:01pm 28/11/2004 | ||||
Thing is...I have things on my mind! Things that I have find myself thinking about more and more everyday! I have always been the ease bored kind of typ! I never stick to something, I change boyfriends like perfymes and I never end what I started! I have been doing good in life anyway..I´m happy to be me! But this summer was soooo great! Its all I think about now! You see, thing is...I didnt get bored this summer!!! I could have stayed in Ayia Napa forever! Working, partying...living life like a 20 year old girl should! Meet new people, have flings, do stupid stuff...then fall in love! Its all that and soo sooo much more that beeing a 20 year old is all about! I see all my friends here in sweden going of to collage, uni or jobs. Making money. starting famillies...cause thats what everyone else does! I dont want that! I mean, sure, when I´m 30-40...but not now! At this very moment I dont even want children! Alex told me, one time during one of our very rare fights,that I´m a free spirit and if not carefull...i will fly away! And the more and more I think about that I realise its true! It just sums me up! And so now I start to worry! What if this is how I´m gonna be the rest of my life!! i dont want to be like this when I´m 80!!! I want to be bale to lthe life I want! without having to worry about my restlesness!! I know I´m reading to much into this...like I do with everythinng!! all the time!! Ok...well....i think this was all i wanted to say this time. night |
||||
| Post | ||||
amused| So don´t miss the diamonds along the way | ||||
| 01:55pm 02/09/2003 | ||||
Last week my goal was to make it through the week but I can´t have that goal anymore. Cause now I know I will make it. Soooo, what should I have as a new goal in my life? I need something to keep me focused and determined. I can´t think of anything right now but as soon as I do, I will write it down here. I wont be online tomorrow and the day after that. Cause my computer is getting an upgrade and my dad is going to take it to his office to do that! yay for new upgrades! I´m gonna get MacOS X! woohooo! And for all you non Mac people out there MacOS is the Mac version of Windows. I painted my nails devil-red before. They look feisty. Umm...not much else to say. Talk to you all in two days! |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
awake| boys! sometimes a girl just needs one. | ||||
| 04:43pm 31/08/2003 | ||||
A little update in the life of me. My room is now paradise. Since I am bed bound now for a couple of weeks (need the rest) my dad made my own little heaven for me. I have my TV at the end of the bed. My Laptop on my nightstand. The Stereo beside my laptop and all my records and movies beside me. Heaven. I got home two days ago and I slept all day yesterday and woke up this morning feeling rested and happy. I try and I try to get back in the game at the loft but to be active there you have to give up so much of your time. Time that I´m not willing to give up. Its sad but its true. So, I just have to face reality and say that I wont be back on the loft. I feel like I have a lot on my mind but not sure how to say it all. I guess I´m just happy to be alive and well (finally) and to have the friends that I´ve got. OOH btw! Lola and Alex might be getting back together!!!! yay!!! yeah...so...hmm...lol...thats it for now! ::EDIT:: I need new icons. Gonna make some! |
||||
| Read 4 - Post | ||||
bouncy| YAAAHOOOOOO! | ||||
| 09:30pm 27/08/2003 | ||||
AND ITS MY BITHDAY!!! Happy birthday to meeeeeee happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeee happy birthday dear LOTTA!! Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee This is what I got. Mom and dad: Two book´s, 1000 kronor, a flower, The Two towers. Brother: Michelle Branch CD "Hotel Paper" Martin: A glittery heart and Sheryl Crow´s CD "C´mon C´mon" But now I´m dead tired, so....off to beeeeeeeeeed! |
||||
| Read 3 - Post | ||||
| suprise! | ||||
| 08:45pm 22/08/2003 | ||||
I should be at the hospital right now, but our car broke down and I am stuck here till my uncle fix it. Not that I mind. The oparation isnt until Sunday anyway so its no biggie. There´s a whole lot of singing that´s never gonna be heard. Disappearing everyday without so much of a word somehow. I think I broke the wings off that little songbird. She´s never gonna fly to the top of the world right now. I wished I´d known you. Wished I´d shown you. All of the things I was on the inside. I´d pretend to be sleeping. I just want to give a big hug to everyone. Specially those who have stayed with me as my friend all this time. CAT, Thank you for being you. I´m so sorry for last time. Please forgive me? Jil, Sweety, you are an angel and I am so sorry I kept what was going on from you and Q! You are my girls and I love you! Q, Same thing I said to Jil, I´m so sorry I kept all this from you! I have missed you!! Love ya! and last but not least Ky You crazy girl. You always make me laugh and you have stayed my friend for so long now! I dont know how you can stick with me! =) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! Ok, now I really gotta go! See ya soon I hope! |
||||
| Read 5 - Post | ||||
thoughtful| I´m so strange. | ||||
| 06:37pm 21/08/2003 | ||||
I wish I didnt have to go through this. I wish I had a some what normal life instead of this...thing I have. Anywho, music is my life and I have my minidisc with me where ever I go, even the hospital. My playlist at the moment: Love me like that - Michelle Branch Faint - Linkin Park Eat you alive - Limp Bizkit Heartbeats - Jose Gonzales (LOVE this song) Why dont you and I - Alex band, Santana Godspeed - Dixie Chicks Roadtrip - RHCP Yupp yupp. I´m tired. I love you. Please be here when I get back? |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
blank| Yupp! | ||||
| 10:06am 19/08/2003 | ||||
I am going back to the big H on Friday. Martin gave me the advice of being selfish. Maybe I should start to be more selfish. Cause lets face it, everyone else is! Yeah, so new selfish Lotta says she is sorry that she hasn't "reported" to her online crew the past days but I just didn't feel up to it! I might as well go back to the hospital since I now am suffering from insomnia and haven't slept in four days. I wonder why I am so black under my eyes!! (sarcasm) Amy Studd makes me wanna gag. I think I will make myself a Cosmopolitan and go watch some Sex and the City episodes. Lotta signed of at 10.14 |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| I guess... | ||||
| 10:31pm 11/08/2003 | ||||
Yupp, I´m back in the hole. The place I go when things get to much. When I cant deal. Cause I´m a weak weak person. I need to get a fucking life and stop feeling sorry for myself but I just cant. The worst part about me being in the hole is that no one can go with me. I´m all alone here. I wont let anyone go with me. This place is just for me. I know I hurt people by doing this but I don't care. That´s the thing...I don't care. Why should I? Life just keeps on fucking me so why shouldn't I fuck life? I not I'm not being fair and I know I am acting like a brat/selfish bitch but I don't care. Why I´m I acting like this? Why am I back in my hole? I will tell you, its cause of several reasons. 1. I will soon be back at the hospital. They found a way to cure me they think. But its not 100%. 2. I have to go through another operation. 3. I cant go to England to see LH or Cat (I´m so sorry) 4. Martin. 5. My mom is crying almost every night and I know its cause of me, cause of my illness. 6. I miss Lola. 7. I feel like this is it, like this is all I can take...like this is where I stop fighting for my life cause I know I will never get it anyway. Wow, now I have depressed everyone who reads this too. Good work Lotts!...well what can I say? . |
||||
| Read 3 - Post | ||||
depressed| lmao | ||||
| 10:41am 06/08/2003 | ||||
lil ol me sittin in my tree says: blah Lotta says: blah lil ol me sittin in my tree says: b.l.a.h. Lotta says: BlAh lil ol me sittin in my tree says: bLaH Lotta says: BLha lil ol me sittin in my tree says: blAH Lotta says: HALB lil ol me sittin in my tree says: LAHB Lotta sSˇger: BHAL lil ol me sittin in my tree says: ABLH Lotta says: HLAB lil ol me sittin in my tree says: ALHB Lotta says: AHBL lil ol me sittin in my tree says: BALH Lotta says: *to tired to think anymore* blah lil ol me sittin in my tree says: blah. Lotta says: blaH lil ol me sittin in my tree says: i won . |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| a little sad. a little blue. | ||||
| 09:06pm 01/08/2003 | ||||
Its hard you know. Cause when you have a person like Lola is your life, it just makes everything much easier. She is the one person that know me so well that I don't even have to say what I´m thinking, she knows anyway. I have known her since we were kids. I have seen her almost everyday of my life. And when you have a person in your life that mean so much to you, that you do see everyday you soon start to take that person for granted. and you should never take a friend for granted. they don't deserve that. never... Lola sent me a letter today and in it she wrote this: One of many things that are so great about you Lotta, is that you never have any expectations on your friends. You just let them be who they are and you love them for it. You never make people feel bad about themselves, you do the opposite. You always let me and all your friends know that you love them. That´s very rare. *tear* lol...I mean, c´mon!! Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!!! I MISS HER!!! Its weird not having her around. Its always been Lotta and Lola. Look! even our names look the same!! I'm not complaining. Cause I try my best to have a social life without her, lol, but I mean, sometime you just need that person. Her. The bright side of this is that I have started to hang with my other friends more and more. It was Lola´s idea! lol. And they are GREAT! I do have some awesome friend! Not to mention the one´s I have online! So, maybe, when it comes down to it...I will make it without Lola! =) |
||||
| Read 3 - Post | ||||
| yuppyupp | ||||
| 09:48pm 30/07/2003 | ||||
|
||||
| Read 4 - Post | ||||
| WOW! | ||||
| 04:13pm 29/07/2003 | ||||
I sure am! =) Mmmmm, Alexxx! *droooool* |
||||
| Read 4 - Post | ||||
accomplished| MY GOD! | ||||
| 10:43pm 28/07/2003 | ||||
 Love you Q and Jil! |
||||
| Read 8 - Post | ||||
horny| yupp | ||||
| 02:15pm 24/07/2003 | ||||
I don't feel like typing but yeah...I´ll do it anyway. I missed Cat when she was on yesterday. I thought she wouldn't come on until today. But when I got home this morning, she had e-mailed me saying she would be on all Wednesday, not Thursday like I thought. And now she is on her way to Scotland, so...this sucks. So what was I doing all day yesterday? Well, First I went to the airport to say bye-bye to Lola. She is going away to stay at her grandparents on the mainland for a while. Cause she and Alex broke up (I think my heart is just as broken as Lola´s) and she wants to get away. Which I understand. But I´m gonna miss her sooooooo much!!! My BEST friend wont be around anymore! =( But I will visit her and she said its only for a few months. I just feel for the two of them right now. Then, after dropping her of and saying goodbye. I went with my brother to McDonalds. yumm yumm, nuggets! Then Martin called and me, my brother and him went to the beach. Damn, Martin is sooo hot! LoL. You should see him in his tan!!! *drool* Anyway...lol...my brother and him played beach-tennis while I watched and worked a little more on my tan! Good times, lol. Then I went with Martin to his grandparents. They are so great!! They fed us strawberries and milk! yumm yumm. Then we all went to see little adorable kittens at Martins grandparents friends house. They were soooooo Cute!!!!! you just want to eat them! Me and Martin played with this one kitten who was grey and black. We named his Shibby! lol Martin is thinking of buying Shibby! I think he should!! Then after that, I just went home with Martin. To his house. His parents are in France for three weeks. That's three weeks of no-parents-house all to ourselvs-heaven lol. So I stayed there and got home just now. To find the e-mail Cat sent saying I HAD to get online yesterday. shit. anyway. Q and Jil!! I cant wait till we have our cool chat!! Jil needs to get back so we can have one!! I want one NOW!! I hope your having fun Jil! Ok, gonna go back to Martins house now. Buh bye! |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| *DROOOOOOOOL* | ||||
| 12:03pm 22/07/2003 | ||||
  anyone agree with me when I say that Alex must have been sent from heaven for our viewing pleasure, raise your hand! again, *Droooooooooool* |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
| I hate to think of subjects, cause I can never come up with a clever one, so just fudge it! | ||||
| 09:25pm 16/07/2003 | ||||
Can you believe that!! They broke in, stole the car stereo and messed round in it. What's even worse, is that in the car stereo was my bran new Placebo CD "Sleeping with Ghosts"!!!! I bought it for myself as a present the same day!!!!!!!!!!! I had it only like...5 hours. *cry´s* How can people be so mean?? I have never done anything to them and they just brake into my car and take things that are not theirs!! Dosent people have concisense anymore? Its such a mean thing to do! I mean, I glad its not worse, they didnt brake anything...and its not like I cant live without my stereo and CD but its just that it was mine. Someone else has my stuff, that I paid for, with my own money that I erned. What happend to mine and yours? And its the creepest feeling, knowing some stranger was in my car. Touching my things. I had to look in the backseat 10 times before I could even get in it again. AAAArrggghhh! How can anyone be so mean? I just dont get it... I want MY things!!! |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| This is something you have to know! lol | ||||
| 10:31pm 15/07/2003 | ||||
Ok so here goes. Artist/Album: Eskobar - Til were dead Eskobar - There´s only now Blur - Modern life is rubbish Blur - Parklife Blur - The great Escape Blur - Blur Supergrass - In it for the Money Supergrass - I should Coco Placebo - Sleeping with Ghosts Placebo - Placebo Placebo - Without you I´m nothing Placebo - Black Market Music The Hives - The Hives The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious Red Hot Chili Pappers - BloodSugarSexMagik Red Hot Chili Pappers - By the Way Red Hot Chili Pappers - Californication Lifehouse - No Name Face Lifehouse - Stanly Climbfall Foo Fighters - There is Nothing left to lose Foo Fighters - One By One Coldplay - Parachutes Coldplay - A rush of Blood to the head Kula Shaker - Kula Shaker Kula Shaker - Peasants,Pigs & Astronauts Pearl Jam - Pearl Jam Aerosmith - Big Ones Manic Street Preachers - The Holy Bible The Cranberries - Everybody else is doing it, so why cant we? Silverchair - Freak Show Korn - Follow The Leader Guano Apes - Proud like a God Puddle of Mudd - Come Clean The Calling - Camino Palmero Soundgarden - Superunknown Tracy Bonham - The Burdens of being upright The Sounds - The Sounds Dido - No Angel Jefferson Airplane - Feed your head The Cardigans - Gran Turismo FatboySlim - You´ve come a long way, Baby R.E.M - Automatic for the people Thin Lizzy - Live and Dangerous Collections: The Beatles - The no.1 hits Tracy Chapman - Best of Blur - The Best of Queen - Greatest Hits 1 and 2 The Beach Boys - Best Of The Shadows - Greatest Hits Soundtracks: TwinPeaks Great Expectations Hair Bridget Jones Diary Lord of the Rings Moulin Rouge Fame The Craft Flashdance Romeo and Juliet Dirty Dancing Studio 54 Clueless Crule Intentions Buffy The Vampire Slayer Friends That didnt take as long as I thought...I need to get more records...maybe I should do all of them... Mind you, I also I have about 30-40 CD´s with mixed music that I burnt. But the ones on this list are all albums that I bought with my own money...most of them before I discoverd that art of burnning CD´s. Ok, well...think I will hit the sack... NIGHT!! |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
| Wooooot! | ||||
| 01:04pm 14/07/2003 | ||||
Ahh...I crack myself up! I seriously do. I´m so funny!! This morning (5 min ago) I sneaked up on my brother and screamed REALLY loud in his ear I WANT BREAKFAST! NOOOOOOW!! (hahahahah) and he was so scared that he jumped out his chair and literally flew into the wall, with a BIG bang!! AAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHE maybe you should have been there... Last night, I had to work the night shift at the café (I'm back to work, and maybe I should tell you that its a clothes store/café) and that's when all the drunk people come in cause they want a coffee after all the clubbing....anyway. It was me and this guy named Calle who worked and Calle is one funny mofo...lol...the drunk people always says dirty words to you and tries to grab your boobs and last night was no exception. This one time, a girl and a guy was ordering cookies and the girl suddenly said to Calle "I would really love to suck your dick" and all Calle said was, in this VERY funny voice like an old man, "OOopsydaisy"...Hahahahahahahahah...yeah. Hmm, what else can I tell you...well...I got to chat to people last night! yay!! I had a little chat with Q, which was sooooo GREAT cause its been forever! I little chat with my bitch, which is always GREAT! and a little chat with my cousin. Q thinks I´m a perv btw...which...lets face it...maybe I am! lol Then before the night shift at work (it starts at midnight) , I spent all evening at Martins! yay! His parents are out of town! even more YAY! I had the best time! I mean, we have seen each other all week, cause he came into the hospital everyday...but its just so great to be with him, just me and him. Ok, well, I need a shower, really bad! So...of I goooooo! *Naked men to everyone* *naked guitar to Q* *naked you-know-who to Jil! =)* |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
| WOWSA!! | ||||
| 02:53pm 12/07/2003 | ||||
This is gonna be quick, but IM COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!! I hope anyway! They told me I could! yayayayayayayayay!! *waves to everyone* I have watched Falshdance 5 times this week. so good. I wish I could dance like that...*does the ugly dance*...close enough. I have also found a new love. Placebo. I know I´m late in thinking they are great (rhyme!! YEAH!!) but they are! lol Ok, need to go. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE and naked men to everyone! |
||||
| Read 2 - Post | ||||
weird| HELL YEAH! | ||||
| 12:11am 05/07/2003 | ||||
Let me tell you folks. There is NO feeling like driving, alone, fast in the middle of night!! What you do is, you go out on the freeway, where there is no speed-limit. Then you put on "go with the flow" by Queens Of Tthe Stone Age really REALLY loud. Then you just GOOOOO! FAST! Woooooooohoooooooooooooo! Makes me feel like I´m flying! I want to do it again!! I´ll just have to wait till tomorrow night... I´m not setting a very good example here I´m I?...ok...so...umm...stay in school! night! |
||||
| Read 1 - Post | ||||
|
killercat |
||
|
Friends Info Calendar |
||
| skip | ||
| Backward | ||