bLeEd bLaCk's Blurty Entries [entries|turds|calendar=empty]
bLeEd bLaCk

[ userinfo | the heads up.. ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

worst day of my life [28 Aug 2003|08:50pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i feel like shit, i feel so emtpy, Vanessa please please read your email and talk to me , please. please stay with me. please read what i said in those emails and the post card. please

3 streak marks|Poop your pants

I miss ma nessa [28 Aug 2003|11:06am]
[ mood | anxious waitin for ma poopface ]
[ music | "Think twice"-EvE 6 ]

i miss nessie....well thats about it ...tee hee

Poop your pants

:( did i do something wrong [23 Aug 2003|02:27pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | The used -Blue and yellow ]

its 2:30 about and i have tried calling vanessa like 4 times and no one has answered the phone. I hope she isnt mad at me :( Vanessa is you mad at me??? when i got home from school i tried calling her and then i went online to see if she was on there , then i was looking at her journal and such. and then i went to the Rave site. and I saw the AFI was coming on october 7 and that the tickets went on sale today at noon. so i went on the ticketmaster site and waited for like 5 minutes and then they were available!! so i got me and nessie tickets. they were 46 bucks...but i know nessie would like to see them so i really didnt care how much they cost me. But i hope she wants to go :( please talk to me nessie.

Poop your pants

i am so nervous [29 Jul 2003|11:02am]
i start my new job at Pick N Save today. and i cant help but being nervous. i have to talk to people and i am , for the most part, shy. i have to learn the register. and i have to count money...and as we all know, i lack any kind of math skills whatsoever. but i will do my best. wish me luck! :)
3 streak marks|Poop your pants

[20 Jul 2003|05:53pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | "softer to me"-ReLiAnT K ]

I am a fuck up, i just want to be better for vanessa

3 streak marks|Poop your pants

requiem for a timmy [05 Jul 2003|01:21am]
i just watched "requiem for a dream" . that movie scared the shit out of me. drugs are so dumb. well the hard drugs that is. im glad that me and nessie arent into that stuff, speaking of which i miss my ness. i wish she was here so i could hold her.
2 streak marks|Poop your pants

Nessie [22 Jun 2003|10:28pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

I Love Vanessa so much. I miss her alot right now. i saw her for a little bit this morning. but i am use to seeing her a lot everyday. I really want to gain trust back in our relationship. I want us to last so much. And i have faith that we will. we have come through so much for it to not work out. we love each other and nothing will stop that. at least i hope. but i dont want to be skeptical , i want to be optimistic and i am. Lies and secrets will never get anyone anywhere. the truth is easier and will prevent a lot of pain.
I <3 you nessie.

Poop your pants

fuck you jon [13 Jun 2003|11:34am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Jon, the kid that i carpooled with this year is a fucking idiot. he told my parents that i kept the money they gave me to give him for gas for all last year. HIS FUCKING PARENTS PAID FOR HIS GAS. he lives in brookfield , he doesnt need that money . and he told me he wouldnt tell. stupid fucking asshole. i really hope he dies.

Poop your pants

50 CENT !!! [12 Jun 2003|10:42pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | 50cent ]

this journal entry is worth..hmm...lets say $0.50. hahaha. 50 cent is great, i recommend his work to anyone!!!! right ness. today was good. Vanessa picked up at like 11ish and we went back to her crib. we hung around there for a while until i went to WCTC to take my placement test thingy. i did really well and i guess and i am accepted. so hoooooooray!!! On the way there though Vanessas car thought it would be funny to act a fool. and that it did. it started shaking and shit. We both feared for our lives. it was great. tee hee...well not really but yeah. after we got back from my test, we went to my house so i could print this thing out that vanessa needed to hand in , in order to graduate. Then we went back to her house once again....and well we did the hippity dippity. it was really nice. then we went to cash a check that my grandma gave me for graduation , and then we went to blockbuster where vanessa finally got to rent finding nemo. That game has a shit load of loading time, but the game itself is pretty fun. we went out to eat at OLD COUNTRY BUFFET..holla. and we ate, and ate , and ate some more. we were by these annoying children and they got on my nerves. but oh well. then we went back to her house again and listened to fitty cent...im out motha fucka

1 streak mark|Poop your pants

bored.. [09 Jun 2003|01:05pm]
so yeah i wake up this morning and look at the clock. and all i see is 10:40, and for those of you who dont know , my clock is set an hour and 10 minutes fast . it is like this for reasons to confusing to explain. i just get confused if it is back to normal. ANYWAYS...i told vanessa i would call her in between classes. and this usually means i call at like 10:10 or somewhere around there. but when i looked at the clock i thought i was really really late. so i jumped out of bed to grab the phone and call. when she answered , it was kind of wierd because in reality it was only 9:30 or so. and she doesnt usually get out of french class till 9:55. but she got out early for some reason. so it was kind of wierd that she answered the phone. and then i was like "what, what time is it?" so then she came over to get a cig and i ended up giving her the entire pack of camel lights because they taste gross now. and now i am sitting around waiting to go to fucking gay work. i fucking hate it. FUCK!!!
Poop your pants

uno, dos, uno dos tres [08 Jun 2003|11:11am]
so yesterday i went to chi chi's with my special girl. it was fun , and we went through massive amounts of chips and salsa. we went with her sister and her sisters boyfriend and her sisters boyfriend's sister and her sisters boyfriends friend. .....wow, did that confuse anyone else?? we was roudy up in that biatch. i think we scared the waiter...but that is ok, cause i think he was new anyways. after that we went over to her sisters boyfriends friends house. and we played pool. and we also played trouble. I havent played that game in sooooooooooooo long. then we left there and went to a park to play basketball. and man, michael jordan has got nothin on me. i lit up the joint....well no i didnt. but i did win the game of horse!!! GO ME!! and now for a summary of life up til today
Life is good. me and vanessa are very happy. i got my lip pierced. friday night me and vanessa went to Red Lobster. and we obviously sat in the smoking section because...well smoking is what we do, right baby girl??? Then we tried to rent Finding Nemo for Gcube. And it is gone everywhere. What is wrong with people?!?!?!? why do they all rent finding nemo!!!! GrrrRr....I also noticed last night that vanessas sister and her boyfriend fight about everything. little things even. and i am just glad that me and vanessa do not fight like that. when we do fight , it is about important stuff. Not who would me who at who's house the next day. damn i sound like a Dr. Suess book. LOL. I didnt get into loves despair. which sucked, but i know that i could be in a different band most likely. i dont really care what kind of music i play as long as i can be in a band. i have been playing guitar for 5 years and i still dont have a band. what is wrong with the world today??? the government the media or your family....sorry a little papa roach for everyone!!! it is raining outside and i hope it continues because i love rain and thunderstorms. and i love laying with vanessa when it is raining, cause we just cuddle and sleep and it is nice. ME GUSTA!! I am done...."FIN" RIGHT NESSIE?!?!?
4 streak marks|Poop your pants

letter of explanation [23 May 2003|10:41pm]
alright here is the scoop. I overreacted about something today having to do with Vanessas friend Chris. And let the truth be known, i really do not have anything against Chris. It just scares me that he flirts with her like he does. Vanessa I am sorry for getting angry, i just get confused and scared when he talks to you like he does. I hope you understand. Chris , i am sorry . I shouldnt have gotten angry. This is really hard for me because i used to snap all the time. but i am trying to see both points of view on this instead of just my own. I love Vanessa tooooo much to lose her again. I refuse to lose her again. I love you Nessie.
1 streak mark|Poop your pants

wow, its been a while. [19 May 2003|12:26pm]
jesus tap dancing christ its been a while since i posted in here. well to give everyone the heads up me and Vanessa went through another tough time. BUT ONCE AGAIN, we got through it!! so give it up for us! I love her so much, and i WILL be with her forever dammit!!! thats really all i feel like posting right now, bye.
3 streak marks|Poop your pants

siiiick [28 Apr 2003|09:53pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | "you're so last summer"-TaKiNg BaCk SuNdAy ]

i am sick. my throat is sore and when i caugh it sounds horrrrible!! my nose is also runny. i like get snot all over myself every 3 seconds. perhaps i should blow my nose?! ohhh well i will live . lol. so tonight i had God Band practice and vanessa attended for a little while then she had to go cause her sister was picking her up from the Hospital Tee hee. and i tried to call her when i got home but i think someone at her house is on the phone. and she is not online....where o where is my baby girl?! someone help me find her!!!

5 streak marks|Poop your pants

where will i go? [24 Apr 2003|10:25pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | none ]

i am trying to decide on colleges , i know my grades prolly arent good enough to get into a big school. so i want to go to a tec school. i applied to MATC today for computer networking. i hope they accept me. aww and if i went there, me and my baby could go out for lunch and stuff. ;)

1 streak mark|Poop your pants

jus thinkin... [22 Apr 2003|12:08am]
[ mood | jubilant ]
[ music | no use for a name ]

i was laying in my bed listening to a song by no use for a name on the warped tour cd. and i was just thinking about all that me and vanessa have been through... i dont know how much this matters to anyone besides me and her but i am going to share anyway.
i just love her so much. i would do anything for her. the love and the care i have for her is beyond words. i love being with her. when we are together i am so comfortable . we can lay and cuddle and not say a word and it doesnt matter. just having her there in my arms is worth every moment we have shared. I miss her when she is not there with me. i look forward to spending my life with her. she is the one , i know it. i mean i can even pass some gas in front of her and she will just laugh. she is so cute and cuddly . she is my teddy bear. and my baby girl . Vanessa i love you so much. big hugs and kisses. in the words of casper the friendly ghost "can i keep you?" :)

Poop your pants

coool [20 Apr 2003|10:29pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | "drawing board"-[MeSt ]

so yeah today was fun. me and vanessa went to church this morning...and watched some like illustrated sermon thingy. it was alright, but it could have been better. Then we went back to her house , where , she made me salad and a tuna samich. it was tasty. soon after that we had some fun in the bedroom. ;) then it was off to my sisters house for easter. we played some x-box on a big tv , vanessa fell asleep for a few minutes while i was playing nhl 2002. but thats ok. then we ate dinner. it was tasty . and so was the dessert! then we made our way back to vanessas phat crib. and we chilled around there till about 10:00 when i finally came home.....OH man and last night was really FUN! we went to my brothers house after vanessas grandmas. and listened to my sister in law tell stories about her getting hammered. it was a blast. i like being around them, they arent judgemental or anything. and they are really easy to talk to . we (me and vanessa) had a strawberry daquiri (alcoholic) there. it was really tasty. then we proceeded to hang out with vanessas sister. we played darts and i won a game!!! go me! i had a taste of skyy blue. and that shit is yuuuuummmy. i had also had some of a miller lite on the way to my brothers house. soo i decided to lay off because i was the one driving. it was a fun night.

1 streak mark|Poop your pants

rough day ahead.. [19 Apr 2003|10:49am]
[ mood | waittin to talk to vanessa ]
[ music | "this celluloid dream-[aFi ]

so yeah i have to go to work today. and i really dont wanna go. i too would like to sit around all day and bumb uglies with boy....wait vanessa...i am boy. tee hee. at least i think so. i hope vanessa is feeling better yesterday she became a very unhappy little angel. i really want to be with her forever. and that is the truth! well i am going to go play the geeeeeetar.

1 streak mark|Poop your pants

BEEEEACH [14 Apr 2003|11:25pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | "you're so last summer"-[TaKiNg BaCk SuNdAy ]

no not biatch. Beach. cause that is where me and ma baby went to today...we laid in the sand and such . and schmoked. it was nice and relaxing. WOW 81 degrees. i hope tomorrow is that nice. But i get to see vanessa, so it will be nice either way ;)

3 streak marks|Poop your pants

Uh ohhh... [09 Apr 2003|10:35pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Sing the sorry (CD)-{aFi ]

today was nice...i went to school, that was a drag like usual but then i went by My baby's house. we played the sims and well fooled around ;) tee hee it was fun...i also had to get my ticket for my headlight taken care of. they better accept it or i am gonna kill someone!!! lol j/k. when i went to get a stamp for the ticket thing , my mom asked me what was new ..i said nothing...then i asked her how her day was and she said it was alright. then she said "are you smoking?" and i said "no , vanessas mom does" and she was like "well it seems to be getting worse" and i really didnt say much of anything. and then she was like "would you swear on a stack of bibles that you are not smoking" and i said "yes" ...i am fed up with lying to them about this shit...im fucking 18 and i can do what i want..within reason...and this, by law , is in reason. so tomorrow i am going to tell my mom i smoke...i dunno what will happen. but i might be looking for a place to live come summer :(

1 streak mark|Poop your pants

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