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:cat stevens (in the head): |
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it's ironic that the hardest challenge i will face in my life thus far is also happening completely out of my own free will....
this isn't like that paralytic first day of high school, or the result of some daft choice by an outside party....
this is a journey, a life-change, a choice made completely by me, for me.
and i'm scared more than ever.
perfect love drives out fear, and with the unfailing love of God leading me, there shall be no fear (at least that is the prayer).
in approximately 17 hours from this moment, i will be taking off from los angeles and beginning a time in my life of complete homelessness.
how many times can one truly claim that title, "homeless".
to most, including myself, it connotes being poor, lost, lazy, maybe even foolish.
but with all confidence, i claim the homeless status and say, "bring it on!"
i have no address, no phone number, no car, no personal shower...but only a free email account to be my connection to the world i am leaving behind.
these past few months have been a sudden surgence of why i am alive and why i continue to try to live.
no mistake that i've spent the last 2 months in one the most beautiful places in the world, or that i've suddenly made friends from my hometown, or that i've been blessed with a church that defies my imagination.
it's moments like i had today, just casually walking along the pier on one of those stunning so cal sunny afternoons, watching kids frolick in the water, boats freely sail, and having good conversation with a friend, that cause my heart to skip a beat in remembrance of all that i leave behind...
and although I AM physically leaving these things behind, i am mentally carrying a lot of luggage along with me-good luggage---the luggage of blue eyes, crystal sails, sweaty dances, selfless friends, swinging hugs, and waving family.
yes, i am, and will be, lost.
but one can never be found, or find the way, until one is lost.
i suppose it's my time to find the way.
cheers.
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