kellypocket's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] kellypocket [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

:back straight, c h i n UP: [20 Aug 2003|04:15pm] 7 am i awake, head out for a country walk along the rock walls and almond groves of santa maria. (mental: suck in stomach, tighten butt, walk with purpose) the stone walls with tiny weeds growing out the sides stood strurdy against the morning sun, peering through the lines of almond trees on my right side... random farmers were out harvesting their almonds as to try to beat the heat of these august days. little black bugs scurried across the road in an attempt to avoid the rare car that zoomed along this bare street. i just walked, listening to moby, thinking. reflecting on 2 days of not writing here or elsewhere... yesterday, i woke at 630, and jan and i took the train to palma (a lovely a/c train!) and then hopped on the old, wooden train to soller, a small port village on the other side of the island, nestled amongst the mountains. the train ride alone is worth the few euro to get there. the rhythm of the tracks, the smell of mildew deep in the tunnels, the early morning sun on people´s tired faces...all very surreal. once there, we road the tram from the placa to the port and had a juice and did some shopping. it was all very quaint, beautiful trees. i had jan photgraph me with gino´s hat on while riding up in the train, the sun backlighting my nose, and the groves of trees behind, rushing by. everything was full and beautiful, and it was nice to be in the world for a day. last night, after their weekly csi fill, lisa and i went to a party in cala deia. deia...the one town i have been wanting to see these past 3 weeks, but haven´t yet...and of course, when we got there, it was PITCH BLACK...and i mean pitch. like can´t see the hand in front of you. we weren´t sure what to expect and the thought of being thrust into a big group of mallorquins that i don´t know was a bit intimidating...but then, you never know what you might find. when we had walked down the dark path to the beach, we came upon the small, rocky beach, with little paper bags glowing with candles, randomly scattered across the beach, and a small covered patio with people singing, dancing, and playing their instruments. it was a scene that could´ve been out of gidget, except replace the people in gidget with the spanish form of neo-hippies... we were somewhat reclusive, just quietly observing from afar... the smell of pot lingered in the air, and everyone just flowed along in the candle light...that was the only light they had. elvis was there...long story, but he was there, not in costume this time. lisa had a blanket, so we set it out on the small rocks and just lay back staring up at the amazing expanse of stars that glowed. it reminded me of those catalina trips when i was a kid, laying on the boat deck, rocking back and forth, and seeing the most amazing stars of my life. i dipped my feet in the water, and just looked up, and saw one shooting star cascade for a couple seconds. the water was like a bath...much warmer than the air outside...the temptation to just jump in was great, but i figured with so many around, i would wait. there were little candles all around us, reflecting the brown of our skin out into the dark night. i would´ve been happy to just sleep there all night. that was deia...someday i will go back, hopefully not alone. i can´t bare to watch the news, to sense the absolute disappointment i have with the world, with humans. i found myself resulting to a world of panic as i tried to nap, not able to erase the images of bombs exploding and people dying everywhere, while i´m in my nice air conditioned room, rubbing arms with the rich of the island. and to throw the whole of mankind off, i turn on fox news in MALLORCA, and what´s on: a car chase in LA...yes, folks, we are officially the most sad species alive. kids are dying in iraq from bomb wounds, and we can´t find anything better to broadcast but yet another car chase in la...come on. anyway, 2 more days here, one week until my birthday, and one month/2 days until i return to the states. for the first time on this whole trip, i began to feel a bit sad with the idea of not being able to see new places. but i still want to come home. i am anxiously awaiting paris. ciao ciao post comment

:over the binge and far away: [16 Aug 2003|12:03pm] [ mood | rejuvenated ] God is good. ok...wait, wait. God is abundantly good. as i walked up the puig this morning, i was praying, hands out desperate for the rain of love, like a dry and parched land (ps. 143). i felt much better after my walk, as i came down the hill singing worship songs to myself and the goats, and above. i was desperate for something, a sign, and notion of home that would keep me driven and joyful. i got it, in the form of a simple email. when i left the press telegram, my future unknown, i hoped that if i returned i would be able to get some job back, particularly maybe one slightly higher than that which i held...in fact, i had one specific job i wanted, but knew would be more of a stretch seeing as i have had minimal experience in it. this position which i was hoping for, will be open in a couple weeks. sweet 'ol grandpa max always told me to network. my parents always raised me to be responsible and well-mannered (most of the time). and for whatever strange reason, i became an adult with a strong work ethic and overachiever mentality. thank God for them all. i think it´s all gotten me somewhere, even if it´s just a simple job... it´s brought a tinge of that kelly-joy back. another freakin' fan for my feet would make me jump with joy right now, though! simple things please me. i thought bjork was the dancer in the dark, but last night i proved that icelandic queen DEAD WRONG. dead, i tell you. feeling a bit guilty after my pint of the 'ol cream, i lay down with otis redding in my ears. but something happened when ´love man´came on... i was simply laying there feeling sorry when my feet got the urge to move. before i knew it i thought, "screw this...i´m dancing, right here on this pergo floor, in the pitch black, with that damn fan on high, pointed right at me." so, i did... for many songs...in fact, probably a half hour´s worth of songs... i was home, for that time. i saw gino, and nat, and jackie, and dirte, and keith, and mikey...and me, cuttin´the rug, or the pergo. naturally, seeing as it is like 8 bajillion degrees at 11pm, i was desperately sweating when i finished...i was kinda sad when i finished. thank God no one was home as i walked out of my room and stepped in the bathroom to catch a glance at what a mess i must have looked... my hair was glued to my face from the faucet amounts of sweat that i was exuding, no makeup, just all out there. and i stared for a minute at my face, still panting from my ditty around the pergo, and for one of the first times, i saw just beauty. i don´t mean that in the 'oh, i look like kathy ireland in a wet bathing suit in bora bora' beauty...oh no. that one will never happen. but just the simple shape of my face, my eyebrows, the fresh freckles obtained from a day in the sun, even the beads of sweat accenting my jaw line as they dripped off onto the counter. i smiled for a minute and thought of how i must look when i go out every weekend...i don´t know if that´s good or bad. it was a great moment. and i went to sleep listening to otis redding and dreaming of singing for people one day. hey, i've already proven one dream can come true today, so why not another. ciao. 1 comment|post comment

:i am guilty: [15 Aug 2003|10:38pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | :INXS:::Greatest hits: ] i have fallen victim to one of the 7 deadly sins, which coincides with last night´s journal entry. but this time, i succeeded in obtaining my ice cream pint...although it was hagan das, not ben and jerry´s, which makes quite a difference in my satisfaction level. chunky monkey it was not. i am guilty of gluttony. i did finish my book today. we went on the boat outside the port to a secluded area with no one around, perfect water, and scorching sun. it was the type of place you´ll probably only see once in your life, complete with mountain goats tippy toeing on the rocks above. it was the type of place where all you can think about is sharing that spot with someone you love, even if that´s just a family member or a good friend...but preferably the romantic kind. and i was not with anyone i would say i ´love´...maybe josefa, but not in an intimate way of any kind. i found myself oddly subdued as i watched the pristine coastline drift away in the sunset... i should be feeling some incredible ecstasy of being in this surreal place...but i´m not. i am not sad, just...i don´t know. so, it figures, i´d grab a pint of ice cream and drown away my questions with eating and a book. sometimes i talk way too much in this journal. i fear that some people may be afraid of me after reading these journals for 3 months. oh i didn´t mention yesterday that i will be flying to lisbon direct from palma next friday, 22 aug, exactly one month from when i return to the states (can you believe i´m only a month away!). get this...the flight was only 60 euro!!! the ferry just to barcelona was 65! the down side, i need to occupy myself here in mallorca for another week. i was looking forward to moving on sooner and getting back on my own to explore the cities and sites. i´m actually considering staying in a hostel here, regardless of my free bed at lisa´s, just to try and get social with some people my own age and just see something new. do you ever drive around without sunglasses on, just so you can see the colors better, or have you noticed how wearing sunglasses takes away from the saturation of color in the objects around you? sunglasses are basically good, to our advantage. but they take us away, sometimes, from seeing the whole picture, in all its glory... sure, we may be saved from those nasty uv rays, but is it worth giving up the colors and the clarity? (don´t ask about this strange thing i just brought up...it was a random thought i had today.) "cause we all have wings, but some of us don´t know why." -inxs post comment

:hi, my name is kelly, and i am addicted to sweets: [14 Aug 2003|10:35pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | :U2:::greatest hits: ] so here´s my philosophy: if you´re gonna eat ice cream, go for the gusto. none of this mamby pamby over eating just a bit, as to somehow preserve your well worked on flat tummy, or those saddlebag-less thighs. you can´t compromise with the omnipotent ice cream, and cookies. my case: tonight, home alone, a few cookies left, and some old chocolate ice cream that hasn´t been touched. i have been good for days, exercising, not even allowing myself one morsel of cookie, as i knew i would plunge into binge state, and eat...well...many. so, there i was, spoon in hand and forget the bowl...who the hek needs a bowl for ice cream? i sat in the dimmed light of josefa´s ikea-bought kitchen scarfing down chocolate ice cream and listening to U2. ahhhhhhh, the pleasure of it all. i´m sure that the guilt from the amount of fat consumption will catch up to me tomorrow morning, or even tonight as i´ll probably do enough situps to somehow justify my binge. oh, i forgot the leftover homemade chocolate chip cookies from last week...ha, yeah i had 3 of those, too. although, they were smaller than i would´ve liked. i haven´t quite been able to figure out this disastrous habit, or quite possibly, a gene that causes this insatiable desire to eat sweets, preferably after a good hearty dinner. i could be full to the hilt, barely able to bring a straw to my mouth for another sip of water... but alas, there is candy, and chocolate, and sweets to be had! i have begun to notice this pattern in my family members as well...and NOT the men. see, men are lucky...not only do their metabolisms kick in higher than womens´ (so they lose weight at a much faster rate), but they don´t have those vicious cravings for the sinful confectionaries. i mean, i was one step from walking outside and searching all of pollensa by foot until i found a nice pint of chunky monkey...but i don´t have a key to her flat, and no one is home...so i am confined to the house. a shame, indeed. what are your thoughts? i mean, i know that i can´t be the only 22 (23 in 13 days!!) year old with these horrible cravings, that will probably be the death of me, or that will just cause a nice roll on the 'ol belly. do ya'll have cravings like this? please relieve me of my guilt, quick!!! :) on other notes, i have read 3 books in a week, or nearly 3...i am halfway through the 3rd, hoping to finish tomorrow evening. i have never been an avid reader, although i enjoy it, but i seem to have this horrible condition of reading narcolepsy... the instant i set my eyes on the written word, and get linear, i am out. but this week, i have somehow been graced with the good fortune of being able to stay awake for more than one page...in fact, i have read 2 books over 200 pages, and this 3rd is 350 pages... i cannot understand what has brought on this new found ability and love for the written word. i feel empowered, like a little kid who has just figured out how to blow bubbles with his pink bubbleyum for the first time. moments like these are noteworthy, for me at least. i feel i can walk in a library and actually appreciate those dusty little things we call books. amazing. to add to this new found love, i have begun to write books in my head... i´m not sure how else to digress upon this notion... but i find myself thinking in the same way that one would write a story, but it´s about my own life experiences. i sit there and literally write pages and pages of stories in my head, but never actually write them down. if this is what reading does to me, we could all be in trouble, as my mind already suffers from the disease of over analytical-isms. i am definitely on a sugar high...and it feels marvelous. long live sucrose, lactose, fructose, and all those other '-oses' that make up the marvelous sugar molecules! post comment

:the upside of the downswing: [14 Aug 2003|02:07pm] in loo of my recent gain of a few unwanted pounds, i have taken to enduring the relentless heat and walking, very early in the morning, mind you...the following is the account of my walk up the puig de Maria, a very large hill, really almost a mountain, that towers above pollensa. this walk has now become a morning ritual, as i have done it 2 mornings in a row, and plan to do the same until i leave pollensa. 13.08.03-puig de maria-7:15 "the morning has broken, as i believe cat stevens said it best. but THIS morning i am not asleep while the sun calls the land to wake; THIS morning i am atop puig de maria, the mosastery that lingers over pollensa and the port, from a nearby hill. i faithfully awoke at 6am and got myself ready as it was still dark, the lingering full moon still shining brilliantly in the deep blue sky. with my bag ready, i set out, on foot, to climb the tiny road that leads to the top. ahead of me i could see the fading moon, and behind the sun peaking over the horizon. there were distant hums of cars, goats, and roosters crowing in the morning while i began to drip in sweat from the steep incline. there´s a reason i did this so early as i would´ve died if i waited until later. about 1/2 hour from the start of my trek, i arrived at the summit, being able to view mallorca from all directions. as i approached the side overlooking the port, a few goats greeted me, and the beautiful yellow, morning sun reflected off the calm mediterranean. i now sit at a picnic bench setup overlooking that port, the monastery towering above to the right, goats staring at me in wonderment, and complete silence, save a few birds and goat bells." the days drag on... maybe drag isn´t appropriate, as that sounds so obligatory and drab. i am enjoying myself, but am having that sense of readiness to move on, soon. i am going to the travel agent today to look into getting back to the mainland to continue my trek onto lisbon. it is supposedly going to rain this weekend and cool down, just in time for my long awaited departure. HA. i am beginning to get ahead of the game now, as i just booked a very cheap flight from paris to london at the beginning of sept., rather than trying to make the grueling ferry ride, then subway ride, then bus ride to some other part of london. easyjet is a beautiful thing. ah. i think lunch is ready. i must now depart from this white screen and go bake in the josefa´s kitchen as we eat another one of her wonderfully prepared lunches...and i mean that in all seriousness-she´s a fab cook. cheers. nehemiah 1 1 comment|post comment

:aqua: [12 Aug 2003|11:31pm] [ mood | awake ] i swam in the most beautiful water i have ever seen in person today. it was a small cove in the area of cala sant vicent, near pollensa. the water is literally 85 degrees, as the air has been in upwards of 100 for the past weeks. sometimes when i am in places like this, i can´t believe that they´re real. you know, when you see photos it just seems like a dream, but it´s real. i slept a lot, as usual here. i sleep well at josefa´s. we had lots of salad today, which was nice, and typical spanish tomato soup, served cold. josefa and i went out for a walk at about 9, through the tiny streets of pollensa, littered with english tourists and they´re white kids. we stopped for a drink in the plaça where my dad and his friends and family all used to meet up... we talked about the way things were and my family, and about my mom. she told me stories of my mom, stories that are so familiar because my mom hasn´t chagned much. she still makes everyone laugh like before. tomorrow i am going to wake up very early and climb the hill (which i don´t know how to spell) with the monastery at the top. i would like to watch the sunrise as i´m walking up, and get some exercise as i am beginning to notice a little weight gain...not good. there are times when you just feel so starved for something, just a crumb of advice or familiarity, and like magic, it appears just for you. i got that today, thanks to a wonderful friend from afar who just thought i may need some encouragement. i am very blessed to have friends like these...thanks to mr. rice. i really miss home lately, not as badly as other times, but the temptation to just get back to my parent´s couch and the so cal scene is definitely there. 1 month and 10 days until departure...seems like forever. i really just want to fly from palma to ireland, and stay there. or to london and stay in england a bit... but that would mean bypassing pierre and paris, and lisbon, and the guggenheim...and well, those are things i just don´t think i´m willing to give up. blab blab blab...the online journal is a funny thing. people sharing their lives with anyone who wants to know, without ever knowing them. it´s a funny sense of satisfaction, to think that others are somehow relating to what you´re saying. why do we do these funny things? psalm 141- a la chris post comment

:satellite of love: [11 Aug 2003|05:54pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | :tristan´s band: ] excerpt: 11.08.03-1:15-tristan´s bed i followed the shadows of moonlight upon my shoulder, the black creases of fabric complemented by the blue-white of my dirty white shirt. i slowly lifted my eyes to the full moon that followed our tiny car rushing through the Mallorcan countryside, stone walls spotlighted by the highbeams, black aspahlt stretching into only more darkness. a few orphan strands of hair escaped from my sagging ponytail and tickled my cheek and nose as the warm summer air forced its way to the backseat of the car. lisa´s head bobbed offbeat to lou reed and i realized a ´perfect day´. the air pushed thoughts of falling from an airplane, ferris whells, curly hair in the park, postcards, empty bars, toes in the water, my sleeping bag, tree branches, mazes, orange subways, head on shoulders, bench, goodbyes. at the end of the day, after a big dinner and long siesta, one realizes that heat does strange things to the brain-and to the heart. 1 comment|post comment

:fan away: [09 Aug 2003|03:56pm] [ mood | hot ] i am so lazy. the heat has become so paralyzing that i have decided to remain confined to the rooms with fans until this evening. it is nice to be alone somewhere. i am @ josefa´s, but everyone is gone doing their thing, so i am casually lounging about, writing, listening to music, checking email, etc. it has been quite an uneventful few days, as i am still recovering from my cold. i still have that nasty flem in my throat, yuk! last night, lisa took me to a fiesta on the beach, something the town actually has a budget for every year! i can´t get over how towns actually sponsor people partying. so, we got there at about midnight, and the stage is literally 10 ft. from the ocean. some horrible mallorcan nofx knockoff called NO CHILDREN, shattered our ears for about an hour. it´s quite funny how they sing in english, then in between songs talk in spanish. interesting to see our american culture reaching so far. by the time that it finished, i was not awake enough to stay for the dj´s, which was the reason we went in the first place. we left at about 2am and got a little ice cream. i slept until ohhhhh...11:30. and basically have done nothing but take a shower. tonight, lisa is taking me to another event, with her friend carmen. then we are to eat afterwards with the group. tomorrow we go on the boat with josefa and her boyfriend, supposedly to some of the more private coves around here to swim and frollic, and hopefully be cooler than i am right now. i know that people are getting news of the tremendous heat here in spain, and let me just tell you firsthand, it is horrible. but i try not to think of it. yesterday, being the silly head i am, i decided to climb the 365 steps of calvari in pollensa-at noon. yeah, the worst time of day, no shade. but it was worth the view. i tell ya, i am really looking forward to getting back to ireland. i´m so sick of this heat and humidity that i´m temtped to just bypass western europe and just get right to the UK...but then, london has also been hot. so, i´ll just stick with my original plan, and still go to paris this month. i´m really just blabbing right now because i´m bored and i have nothing interesting to share. send me some emails so i have something to do. any good music going on? anything exciting i should know? if anyone´s feeling particularly helpful and bored, maybe you could check out what rent is like in LBC... gotta start looking now! cheers. 1 comment|post comment

:dusty: [07 Aug 2003|05:02pm] i feel like i´m in some scene from an old western. this little mallorcan town seems so deserted, dusty, lonely. everyone hides away in their little homes when it is so so hot. i am sick. or am slowly getting over it. i have been on jan´s couch for 2 days. tonight i go to pollenca. i hope i get better. i am tired. and need my mom to take care of me. 1 comment|post comment

:people absorb the sound(s): [03 Aug 2003|09:21pm] [ mood | concerned ] [ music | fan hum ] enter mallorca. there is this circle that i could probably write many books on that coincide with my journey to this small island off the coast of spain. yes, it is a "party" island and it's got beautiful beaches, and lovely people. but coming in on the ferry the other night, watching the sunset over the mountains of mallorca, i realized that i was completing something that had been sitting for 20 or so years. i honestly didn't think i would ever get here, and be able to see certain people which were just stories to me as a kid. but today that circle was completed when i once again, met josefa. she was a native of mallorca that lived with my parents when i was a baby. she hasn't seen me for over 20 years. i don't remember her, but i hear stories all the time. and when i saw her today, i was nervous and excited, and when i hugged her it was like i'd known her forever. i felt this completion that was very good. when i walked down the quiet streets of santa maria tonight, i felt a sense of satisfaction for completing something, which can be a challenge for me. thank God. but onto less sentimental matters. last night: JAMIRIQUAI. to see photos go here: http://www.airtoair.org/jamiroquai wonderful shots of the bull ring and the show. what a treat. i spent 2 days prior to the event watching people run around setting up lights, sound stages, watching producers setup dressing rooms, and helping where i could. i spent hours sitting in the empty plaza del torros in palma staring up at the blue sky against the round edges of the ring. then, last night, we got to see the fruits of everyone's work. so lovely. 9:30 the ring turns black, the packed house begins cheering with excitement, and then he comes out, all white addidas outfit and some funky crown hat thing. it was great. the lights bounced off the faces and hands that plunged into the air, and the crowd was just wonderful and calm. when the darkness fell, i looked up with my wide angle view of the bull ring, a few stars twinkling, the crescent moon sinking beyond the ring, and the glorious hum of the anticipatory crowd. it's quite an amazing thing when you stop and realize where you are sometimes. it's unreal. when the crowd got really excited they started chanting: "ole, ole, ole, ole!!!" and it echoed off of the ring walls. amazing. for a couple hours we stood dancing and watching, and then we hung around to make sure tear down was going smoothly and came home. rumor has it that the rolling stones may have been there, as they are in mallorca on holiday. i found out placebo is going to be here in about a month, but i won't be here to help out :( i told lisa that when they get radiohead or coldplay here, call me-i´ll be one the first plane to palma. this is only my 3rd day here. i am planning to be here another couple weeks. i do not know what lies ahead. there is so much going on outside my little bubble of travel. i forget that the world is still starving, that the american media still sucks, and that sadam is still at large. ha. it's good to be ignorant of it all, but also sometimes good to be reminded that there is more than your own life. in a couple days i will go back to pollensa to spend time with josefa. it shall be interesting, as this entire island already has been, and i've barely seen anything. when we were watching the soundcheck yesterday, and it was so loud with 100.000 watts of sound, lisa yelled over to me that it wouldn´t seem as loud later on, and she asked me if i knew why. i shrugged and asked why? she said: "the people absorb the sound." this week will be exactly 30 years to the day that my grandma moved to mallorca with most of her kids, and her best friend, and her 2 kids. i am back here because of that decision. and all i can think of is, "people absorb the sound." think about it. 2 comments|post comment

:to see or not to see: [31 Jul 2003|12:05am] i realize that i am one of the most blessed to see what i have. many moments today struck me as unique. our normal breakfast. then, 7 of us, including the dog, went off to santis, a high peak in the swiss alps not far from pfaffikon. we took the little tram to the top and i just stood in awe of what an amazing creation lay before me. to be at the same level as these giants of creation, nearly standing in the clouds that loom over the peaks, is just breathtaking. the cool breeze brushed the hair across my face as i sat listening to the 4 buddhist monks chanting to the north, dressed in their traditional garb. the hum of their chants only added to the surreal moment of sitting on top of a mountain. i thought about what everyone at home must be doing, probably sleeping. how many can say they've been on top of the swiss alps, looking down upon lakes, rivers, snow, germany, switzerland, etc....it was just amazing. after a dinner of spaghetti, i went out...odette's friend's son, patrick, offered to take me out, although he speaks very little english...but it did not seem to matter as we easily talked for a few hours. first, he decided to take me to this posh bar right on lake zurich. to get there, we had to take a car ferry across the lake... he was driving his mom's convertible opel. how sweet it was to be driving along lake zurich at sunset, with the top down, listening to some horribly cheesy hip hop. we got the car on the ferry and went atop to watch the sunset over the mountains and lake. sheer beauty. we got to this bar, all very well-to-do swiss 20.somethings looking to see and be seen. but the atmosphere was unreal. they also serve food, but the tables are these white canopy BEDS with a long wooden slab in the middle. people take their shoes off and sit on either side of this wood table top, on the white mattress, with the lake literally 6 feet away. we ended up sitting at the normal tables that are ON the dock, swaying back and forth as the lights of outer zurich twinkled away. with nothing else to do, we drove into rapperswill and had a late ice cream (i swear i am going to return 50 lbs. heavier), then home. we wanted to go dancing, but silly me forgot my ID, which is ok. the only music he said they really had tonight was house, and well...not my thing. it is funny that you can get in any bar without id, but no clubs. it was nice just to be out, dressed nicely, and doing more of a local thing, not the typical tourist hype. i think one of my favorite things, though, was patrick shared with me, through his broken english, how badly broken his heart had just been by his ex... it was yet again, a reminder of how everyone is the same. people and pigeons are the same everywhere. i think he really wanted to talk about it, but it was hard for us to communicate smoothly. but i clearly understood when he said he cried everyday, and his heart was broken. i know how he feels, or i have known. some things don't need language to communicate. tomorrow i begin my trek to mallorca, praying that all goes smoothly and the ferry takes me. i am excited for these next 7 weeks. i have so much to accomplish and see and it is a bit overwhelming, but at least i'm not dragging along wishing i were home so much-although i do have my moments. thanks mom and dad for praying for me about stuff...that really means a lot. djIII: if you return to Wien, will you sit on that bench for me, you know that one outside the hostel under the big tree? thanks. ciao. 2 comments|post comment

:morning has broken: [29 Jul 2003|09:37am] i went for a run this morning, the first actual exercising effort in a month, beyond the obligatory bag carrying. for me, this is immense, seeing as i exercised nearly everyday back home. i miss my morning energy boosts and seeing the sun while it is still warming the land. and running in the middle of switzerland ain't so bad either. i did a short, mild run as i haven't been in the game for so long. i ran along the path, near the tracks, green fields with wandering cows spreading out into lake zurich, mountains of green all around, the crunch of the path beneath my feet, and my favorite...church bells chiming in the morning. almost as good as running near the beach...almost. i have so much energy and it is so lovely. plans for today may include a little boat trip and swimming on the lake, provided the weather holds up. but right now, i am looking forward to my traditional european breakfast of yogurt, cornflakes, fruit, and NUTELLA. yum. 1 comment|post comment

:oooooooooowwwwwwe, go dani k: [27 Jul 2003|11:01pm] congrats to the most rockin' chick in canada! i love you. how many times i have said it...God is good. i left croatia appx. 31 hours ago, by ferry, and arrived in zurich 25 hours later at 17:00. no shower, not much sleep, random meals from auto grills, no email :( when i left croatia, my plan was to try and get ahold of family in zurich, but not knowing if i would be successful. i tried to contact her when i was in roma this morning, but no luck. so, i continued my trek up to zurich, regardless of the unknown status of my whereabouts tonight. when i arrived in milano at 12, i called again...SUCCESS. not only did i get odette, but she offered to pick me up at the train station! ha, God is good. i prayed so much about this, hoping that i would be ok and have somewhere to stay. so, 17:00, they pick me up, we go to bbq at their friend's flat, and i ate the best meat ever, risotto, salad, and these sugar crusted almonds that are amazing. thunder and lightening pounded outside as i just quietly listened to them gab in german swiss...it was great. the son of their friends is 20, and has offered to take me into zurich one night. sure, why not? i feel as if i normally have some very important things to say here. tonight, i do not. except that i finally feel like i have somewhat of a home. i have free email, phone, and washing. rock on. i have no idea what i will be doing for the next week i am here, but i am sure it will be lovely. one month from today, i will be 23. twenty three. my favorite #. and i have not a clue where i will be, although i am aiming for a day in paris, if pierre is available. last night, the train to roma from bari was packed. the german guy i met on the ferry, claudius, and i found a compartment, but then 3 spanish kids shared with us. we had the couchettes that fold down, so we all 5 packed in a row like sardines upon our makeshift bed. i was laying there thinking about how weird it was that i was with 4 people that i had literally just met, and we were happily sharing a 6x6' space. that is what travelling is about. i woke up at about 6, the spanish kids were gone, and claudius was taking up most of the space, and the sun was rising over the italian countryside. what could really be better? i am so up and down, but today i am up. when i think back on the month i have been here, and the numerous blessed souls i have met, i cannot imagine giving in now, only a third through, and possibly missing out on another great bunch of people. i can do without the sites and fluff...but the people, they are what matters. i still want to come home. no matter how busy, how crowded, how dirty LA may be, it is my home. there is not another place in the world i could ever call home. i think i will literally kiss the ground when i return. man, dani, i am still in shock. phew. i want to get married. so, when i come home, if anyone has any prospects, blind dates...you know my type :) i miss the bench. i think we all need a bench in our lives, at least once. 2 comments|post comment

:dobro jutro: [26 Jul 2003|08:52am] good morning from dubrovnik! i am awake! yes, mercies are new every morning, some mornings more evident than others. today i depart to bari, italy, and then a night train up to switzerland. this place is amazing, my favorite so far, and the place where i learned what love really is (more on that later). but i am looking forward to getting on the road (or the sea) again and meeting more people... God is good. i spent the morning walking through old town and went to the farmer´s market they have every morning... all these little old men and women smiling at you to buy their fruit and flowers. for about $3 i got 2 bundles of grapes, nectarines, and a bundle of flowers..not bad. and good grapes. it was somewhat nice to be amongst the locals doing their local thing. we ate last night at cafe orahan, the seaside restaurant just above our little pier that we have become so attached to...we thought we should treat ourselves. it was right at sunset, and the fort on the right and the old town walls to the left... we were happy campers. per my gamma´s request, i have begun to write a book. when this will be completed is unknown, probably not until i am old. but i wrote the first chapter. i do not want to start telling all that my book is about, for i do not even know if it will be fiction, autobiographical, nonfiction...i would say more autobiographical, i think. in the most beautiful of places, i have experienced some of my lowest lows. ironic. but that has brought on the clarity. being away from home, experiencing certain things, croatia has been the place where i think i have truly, for the first time, been able to define (intellectually) what love is to me. always thought i could before, but i was wrong...and i am sure it will be an ongoing process. and i do not mean romantic love, i mean love towards people in general. i have learned why knowing someone intimately changes everything. there is this bench in vienna that knows it all. i think i would like to bronze that bench and put it in my garden one day. somethings are just too sacred for words (i know i keep saying that, but it is too true), so maybe you will just have to wait and read the book one day. cheers. "i have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. in this world you will have trouble. but take heart! I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD." JOHN 16:33 1 comment|post comment

:hvala: [25 Jul 2003|05:18pm] i have just had the most rollacoaster day. last night the english kids and i played drinking games, except i played with redbull and juice, instead of alcohol. then we went to the cheesiest club i think i have ever witnessed, called LATINO CLUB FUEGO...we are in croatia. anyway, it was like someone turned a switch and the moment i walked in there i was having all these flashbacks to home, the clubs mainly...gino, mikey, nat, jackie, keith, dirte...i love you all...i do not even know if any of you read this rubbish, but i love you! i walked in there, clearly dressed differently than this crowd and started dreaming of just seeing all my friends walk in and some soul music just playin away, and dancing like i used to... then, i just began the spiral...it turned into missing everything about home. i slept with gino´s hat again... i only was able to sleep 2 1/2 hours since i got home so late and had to be up when maria woke up. that probably did not help my crappy morning. i bought a phone card for 100 kuna ($15), used it once, and left it in the phone, and i think this guy stole it and lied about it to me...so, i could not call home or anything like i wanted to. i had no sleep, i was sticky, lonely, and really just wanted to jump on a plane from dubrovnik to home, no matter the cost. thank God for my friends. i saw them about noon and they offered to let me sleep in their room while they went out. so, i lay there, finishing up catcher in the rye, which ves let me read over the past 2 days. i slept, maybe 3 hours, finished my book, and i am suddenly a new person. sleep is amazing. i still miss home, but i am not so desperate to figure out how to get back. catcher in the rye: funny that i read that book NOW. the last paragraph of the book says something to the effect of do not talk to others about all the people in your life too much because then you just start to miss them. hmph. somethings are just too weird. i swear i´m a madman. post comment

:not homeless: [24 Jul 2003|10:15am] [ mood | hot ] there is a reason i love maria and ivan, my hosts at the house i have been at for the past 5 days... they call me their daughter, even though they are 70-ish, and genuinely care about my wellbeing...hence, ivan offered me their couch again if i cannot leave until sat.-which i cannot. this morning i spent time by the window with maria working around me and this is what i found: =the moon will shine like the sun, and the sunshine will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the Lord binds up the bruises of His people and heals the wounds He inflicted.=isaiah 30:26 =in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it... yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. for the Lord is God of justice. blessed are all who wait for Him.=isaiah 30:15 & 18 =your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.=isaiah 60:20 1 comment|post comment

:humid: [23 Jul 2003|09:54am] i am sticky... it is really not worth taking a shower here...the second you do, you just turn into a sticky bun again. i do not even feel like writing (crazy as it sounds), but i feel i should probably just write a bit so people that read this know i am still alive and well. i am homeless, literally. dubrovnik is grand, but not for single travellers... i am staying on the couch again tonight, but after tonight, i am not quite sure where i will be for the following 2 nights. the hostel is quite far from here, and supposedly booked. in town they only have accomodation for 2 or more. so, hmmm. i shall figure something out. we are taking a ferry to an island today, but i cannot remember which one. i am tired, and in a weird mood. something in that pizza last night and i have not been the same since. i want to come home for just one day. as beautiful as it is here, i would give it all away to just be home for even a few hours. i just want to go dancing with MY friends, be with MY family, and sleep in MY bed with MY ikea sheets and my little square lamp next to me. and i want to go to church, all the time. and i want to surf more. and i want to work more thankfully. after awhile, if you have nothing to do, it gets really boring...i would really rather be working. i want to sit with jen on our wood floors talking until really late... i miss you, jen. i am ok...do not feel bad for me...i just get in these mild funks where i suddenly miss everything badly, and then i am fine. i slept with gino´s hat last night because it is the only tangible item i have from someone back home. silly. so, i will put on a smile through this constant sweat, hang out with my new friends, and try to look at the immediate journey ahead, and continue to dream about the moment i get to come out of the airplane terminal and step foot on LA ground. i will be staying with pierre in milan in a couple weeks, and i look forward to that. so, cheers. and also, would someone like to take a shot at the difference between being passionate and being insane? 3 comments|post comment

:heaven: [21 Jul 2003|09:43pm] i am in dubrovnik. look it up...you will crap your pants. God is good. let me say that one more time...God IS good. as i woke yesterday, the irish lads still asleep, i left a note and went for the bus to dub. on my own. God is good. i ended up sitting next to pierre savy (yes, that really is his name), a parisian who is studying in milan, studying renaissance history. we chatted quite a lot...lovely fellow, very helpful, interesting, and intelligent. we exchanged email and agreed to try and meet either in milan or paris. he will be in paris on my birthday and asked if i would want to meet sometime at the end of august in paris, as he will be on holiday there at that time. so, i may just make a trip up there just to spend my birthday there...i was possibly going to skip paris. there is much more to be said of pierre, but not enough time. across the way from pierre and i, was a lovely irish couple, martin and joyce, from sligo... we began a chat and before i knew it, they had asked me to follow them to the flat they were renting ON the beach for 16 quid/each/night. i did. unfortunately, the lovely croatians who own the place (maria and ivan) had no space...since i had nowhere else to go, they offered their living room couch for a night at a cheaper price...no problems there. then, starting tonight, i take over martin and joyces old room, for quite a bit more, but worth it...and if i find another lone traveller, they can take the second bed in the room and i will be paying a whopping $17 to stay on the water. martin and joyce could not have been more helpful. they took me to dinner last night, we went to mass in an ancient church in the old town this morning, then for breakfast, then for a swim. oh yeah...the flat. it is a 3 story house, 180 years old. it is just outside the main gates of old town dub., which is completely pedestrianized now...amazing, but more later. my room is on the 3rd floor, overlooking the very private cove just below, and when i say JUST below, i mean you could nearly jump in the water from the widow...i fell asleep to the lapping of water and drunk croatians singing it up...lovely. the hosts are perfect. when i woke this morning, they offered me croatian coffee and we had a good chat in very broken english. lovely. oh yeah...on the bus, we also met some british kids, 3 girls and 2 boys (naomi, sarah, james, george, and furcity (or some thing like that), who also needed a room...they ended up scoring a place just a few meters from me... so, i hung with them all day...we spent half the day in a private cove just below their flat, boats tied up, turquoise water, fish, men in speedos, little tanned girls running around half-naked...perfect. then we girls decided to get fashionable and head over to the more popular beach, on the other side of the gates... packed, as it is sunday, with the most beautiful bodies i have ever seen..i do not know what it is with these croatians, but they are the most perfect forms i have ever seen, especially the women...amazing. we rotated between quick swims and long layouts... i got dark, even my stomach a bit. afterwards, we had a drink (me a virgin colada) at the posh beachside cafe overlooking the croatian islands and old town dub. towering to the right... we kept looking at each other in amazement that we were here.. some electronic music buzzed over the beach as we lazily spent our day doing absolutely nothing. and tomorrow will quite possibly be the same thing... i think we may all go to one of the islands at some point, just for a day trip... i am not sure how i have been so blessed. the only bad part is i cannot really get to greece from here unless i want to take a plane from here to budapest and back to greece for $300...i do not think so. so, i will likely be going to italy via ferry sometime this week, later, and then travelling up to switz again to stay with odette...then, after aug. 3, i will try to go to milan to see pierre, as i have never actually stayed in milan, only flown in there... i feel like some rich star. this is the life that people dream of... and i am living it. i could live here. it would be hard without my family and friends, but i think it could be possible. the croatians are the nicest and cleanest i have encountered yet, much like the irish. speaking of which, the enrights have offered their house to me when i return to ireland, if i make it to sligo...they said they may not be there in sept., but their son will be and i am more than welcome to stay there. so, in a matter of a day i have secured beachside accomodation in dubrovnik, and place to stay in milan and paris, a place to stay in ireland, new friends, and a place to stay in scotland with the british kids. just take a gander at pics from dubrovnik...please. all i have to say is it sucks to be ya´ll :) :) xoxo 1 comment|post comment

:tragically poetic: [18 Jul 2003|07:22pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | :johnny cash: ] i have been on a whirlwind of emotions the past day... i thought i would be doomed to utter lonliness when i boarded my 17 hour train to split. gosh was i wrong. wouldn't it be my luck that in the cabin next to me are 6 irish lads from dublin, also going to split. that train ride was the best. we chatted, stuffed into the tiny compartment, no AC, in hungary, smashed like sardines with all the families returning from the lake...so many people there was not enough room in the cabins, people were in the aisle, desperate for air from the few open windows... once we got going at night, and no one was on the train, we once againn stuffed into the tiny cabin, and they pulled out their 3 string guitar, playing with a phone card edge, and sang radiohead songs, the pixies, and bob marley...outside, there was the most fabulous of lightening storms...truly, could not have been more perfect. these lads are so great...murray, rowey, owen, mikey, ben, and james. i will have plenty of photos. i awoke to the rocky hills of croatia, the sun rising over the mountains, settling into the valley spreckled with red roofs and livestock. i could still see the old rock boundries, wondering who was here before, using them. we arrived in split at 7:30, hot as hek, and immediately greeted by anxious hosts wanting to let us stay in their homes...after about an hour of figuring out what the hek we wanted to do, we opted to stay at mickey and ana's house about 5 minutes from the beach and train station... this place it quaint, simple...the old women lay out in their bikinis, the old men run around in speedos, tanned like a ripe raisin. the relief to be at the beach is indescribable... i feel like i am home, and i really needed that. we went to the beach, swam in the adriatic a bit, had some food, took a nap. when i awoke from my nap and went downstairs, there was some tragic news. a girl that the lads knew from childhood drowned in biarritz, france yesterday...it has been a few hours since we found out, and they all are in a haze...one of the lads, ben, was starting to date her. she was supposedly just the nicest, most beautiful girl, the one that everyone wanted to know... mikey described it as being tragically poetic, that her of all people would pass. so, now i am sitting in an internet cafe off of a alley no wider than 6 feet, nestled in the center of split, listening to johnny cash and neit young, with the hum of the world and clanknig of shoes in the distance. "i'm so lonesome i could cry", sings johnny. tomorrow we are planning to catch a bus to dubrovnik, and hopefully just relax...after that, i am somehow going to get to greece...haven't figured that out yet... i am doing much better than i was a few days ago, but the death of this girl, that i don't even know, has got everyone a little weird...i know i must be here for some reason, but i am still trying to figure that out. my love... 1 comment|post comment

:mel-and-choly: [16 Jul 2003|11:26am] i think this is probably the hardest day yet... i can't really even pinpoint why. i just arrived in budapest, hunary. this is a very different place. it's not like america, clean and accomodating. i went to my hostel, which is actually college dorms rented out in the summer, and i was nearly in shock. i suppose in america we get so used to certain ammenities like toilet paper and properly functioning windows and lights, that we do not realize that much of the world does not have those advantages. i walked in my room and it looked like a place for junkies...no kidding. i suppose that sounds so stereotypical, so judgemental, and so spoiled...and those are all true. i have never even had to think about living in that kind of place. i lay on my bed before walking to the internet cafe and just prayed, reading over psalm 143, desperate for something. i do not know what, because i am not sure what i am missing...i am missing home. i so desperately want to be at a beach, in greece, or mallorca...i know there must be something here for me, though, otherwise i would not be here. no worries, i am OK. this is why i took this trip, to be tested, to persvere, and return more educated, more worldly, and more faithful. xoxo 4 comments|post comment

navigation [ viewing | 20 entries back ] [ go | earlier/later ]