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Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in
Kelly Donovan's Blurty:
| Tuesday, September 30th, 2003 | |
| 11:36 am | Apparently on the message boards at my brother's official website, there's a thread about his arm hair. You know you're popular when people sit around discussing the hirsuteness of your forearms. (My subsection of the board is disappointingly tame in comparison. I think there are more posts about my "girlfriend" -- in other words, my beard, if you get my drift -- than about me. Not that I care. It's not like I'm an attention whore who wants everybody to talk about me all the time or anything...) DisclaimerNicky and I went to see Tom's play open this past Friday. It was great; he's a fucking terrific actor, people. If you haven't seen his play yet -- and if not, why the hell haven't you? -- you should go. Right now. The social part was... well, about as awkward as I expected it to be. Erich and Amelinda were there, obviously. The latter, I've been slowly reestablishing some sort of friendship with. She's forgiven me, at any rate. I'm not sure I deserve that, but she has. The former, I'm pretty sure still hates me. I can't say I blame him. I've apologized, but... I don't know. These things just take time, I guess. Other than that, things have been pretty okay. Spending all my free time -- which is a lot, since I'm a jobless bum -- with Nicky. It's a nice way to live. Kind of like how things were before he met Tressa... only even better, because we're both older and slightly less stupid than we were then. Well... okay, he's less stupid. I'm still stupid as ever. But we love each other, that's what matters, right? Right. It's far too early for me to be this tired and rambly. |
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| Monday, September 15th, 2003 | |
| 6:01 am | And people wonder why I don't do relationships.* Disclaimer* No, I don't feel like clarifying what I'm talking about. Here's a few things I'm not referring to: my twin, tapioca pudding, Rio de Janeiro, dalmatians. Past that, you're on your own. Brain excercise is good for you. |
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| Saturday, September 13th, 2003 | |
| 3:12 pm | I have hot new icons. Okay, just two, but still. Admire them anyway. I'm worth it. DisclaimerSpeaking of hot... uh... people who look like me... check out this photo shoot my brother did. (Don't worry, the scary facial hair isn't there. Poorly matched articles of clothing, however, are. But I don't think you'll be paying much attention to the colors/patterns of his apparel anyway.) Sometimes I wonder how the world doesn't implode or get knocked out of its orbit by our combined attractiveness. And to prove that I do, on occasion, think about things that are not myself or my twin: as I think most of you probably know, Danny is training for the New Orleans AIDS marathon. If you haven't already (and why not, you cheap bastard?), go donate to help him meet his fundraising goal. It's such an important cause. So many people are affected by HIV/AIDS -- not just the people living with the virus/disease, but their families, friends, and lovers as well. Doing the AIDS bike ride these past two years, the stories I've heard... if our efforts can help to make even a few of their lives a little easier, happier, or healthier, then it's all worth it. Besides, Danny's a great guy and this is a big thing for him, so show him your support and chip in. If you're still in a giving mood, there's always the Stuttering Foundation of America, for which Nick serves as honorary chairperson. I'd be remiss in my twinly duties if I made a charity-pimping post and didn't include the SFA. Oh, also. You should all attend the Buffy Fest con in San Diego on October 11. Why? Because I will be there. And you all worship me. Don't even try to deny it. I'll be helping out on a workshop about stage fighting. Being that I was Nicky's stunt double and all. I have the skillz, yo. So come watch me do some pretend ass-kicking. It'll be hot. |
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| Thursday, September 4th, 2003 | |
| 12:46 am | So I took a surprise trip to England this weekend, to do a convention with Nicky. What can I say? I can't be away from him for more than a day. (Week long bike rides notwithstanding, and that was before certain developments occurred anyway.) Tried when I went up to Canada, and it was... not good. See, without him around to remind me, I forget to do certain things, like eat and sleep. I just mope, or compensate by going out and getting completely trashed. It's really not pretty. Oh, I'm pretty, but the behavior isn't. DisclaimerPlus, the convention people payed me. Not gonna pass that up. It was fun. Even if Nick was mean and kept putting me in time out. Like he wasn't hyper too! Telling kids rambly stories that eventually involve sex? Oh yeah, that's so much more apropos than my climbing on chairs and dancing And he told everyone the french fry story. How long before I finally live that down, huh? Other than that, though. Good times all around. You know, I could really get used to the whole convention lifestyle. Getting paid to talk about myself and smile for cameras? That's my ideal career right there. Plus it's something Nicky and I could do together. Definitely adds to the desirability. Anyway, now we're back in California. Where the accents aren't nearly as cool, or as genuine, for that matter, but the food options are indescribably superior. And I have a nice warm bed with a nice warm twin in it to be getting back to. |
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| Saturday, August 16th, 2003 | |
| 3:53 am | Why yes, I am alive. I know it was starting to get questionable. DisclaimerI've just been laying low, mostly. Not because I'm hiding from anything, as the phrase generally implies (it was the first thing that came to mind, and to be honest I was too lazy to search for something more accurate). I've got the one person I want and need the most right here in my apartment, so I just haven't had much of a desire to be my usual Common practice seems to indicate that I'm supposed to write many flowery, poetic sentiments in here about the person I love. Well, I've never been big on traditional behavior. Okay, really, that's just a cover up for my own inability to express how I feel about him in words. There are none that could accurately convey what Nick means to me. He's my twin. We have this bond that goes deeper than words, deeper than emotions, deeper than anything comprehensible by the human brain. We are each other. That may sound vaguely creepy to people who haven't personally experienced it, but I don't care. I was watching "The Replacement" the other day -- for those non-Buffy people out there, that's the episode of Buffy that I did with Nick, wherein his character, Xander, was split into two Xanders, one with all the strong qualities and one with all the weak qualities the full Xander possessed. At the end, when Xander's being put back together, Willow explains that the process is really simple because "their natural state is to be together." And wow, that was a seriously long lead-in I typed just for one miniscule quotation, but yeah. For some reason I hadn't really noticed that line before -- or if I did, it slipped my mind, considering we filmed that several years ago -- and hearing it recently, I couldn't help but think how true it rang for Nicky and me. Nobody has ever understood me the way Nick does, and vice versa. And nobody ever will. I love him beyond anything the English language is capable of expressing. And that's all there is to say about that. For now. (Funny how I manage to type two large paragraphs on a subject I said I wasn't going to discuss.) But, hey. I still love and miss all my non-Nick friends. So I'm gonna try to find some spare time to play catch up with everybody, promise. Eliza, Maj, and Seth especially, although the latter won't see this since the bastard no longer has a journal. No more gourmet chocolates for him. Current Mood: content |
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| Saturday, July 19th, 2003 | |
| 10:52 am | Back from Arizona. Got some stuff I want to talk about, but I'm not sure this is the place for it. Didn't get much sleep last night, and the sleep I did get was the tossing-and-turning, thinking-too-much-instead-of-actually-re Disclaimer |
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| Saturday, July 12th, 2003 | |
| 5:32 pm | This morning I kidnapped Nicky and took him on a road trip. Well, kidnapping may be a slight exaggeration, considering he was already staying at my place and came quite willingly. I would have used force, though, if need be, and it's the thought that counts. DisclaimerAnyway, so we drove over to Phoenix, Arizona -- not really sure why, it just seemed like a fun idea. It was that or Las Vegas, and I wanted somewhere new and interesting, that I'd never been before. And since Nick forced me to do the decision-making... Phoenix it was. We just got in town a few hours ago, checked into a hotel, and now we're gonna go wander around downtown and have dinner. Okay, so it's not exactly party city... golf city, more likely... but it's calm and relaxing, and that's what I wanted to give Nick more than anything. A nice, stress-free escape. After some of the stuff he's been through lately, he deserves that. Besides, our hotel room has a Jacuzzi. Always good for the relaxing. Tomorrow I think we might go to the Grand Canyon, or maybe just drive around the outskirts of Phoenix to find a middle-of-nowhere butte, atop which we can, you know, view the scenery. It's fucking gorgeous out here. |
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| Sunday, July 6th, 2003 | |
| 8:20 am | This is a post to say happy birthday to Adam. So... happy birthday. DisclaimerYes, it's nearly 8:30 AM. No, I haven't slept yet. Don't ask. |
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003 | |
| 11:28 pm | You know what? DisclaimerI like cheesecake. That is all. |
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| Tuesday, July 1st, 2003 | |
| 1:05 pm | Huh. Guess I should post in here so I don't get kicked out. DisclaimerLook at me, I'm actually going to talk about something that isn't my brother! Mark this on the calendar, folks, it's a rare occasion. I took a trip up to San Francisco this weekend. The SF Pride Parade was on Sunday, and the AIDS LifeCycle had a contingency marching (well, riding their bikes) in it, so I decided to go cheer them on. Drove up there Friday night so I could check out the Saturday festivities as well. I don't know how many of you have been to a Pride before, but if you haven't, I highly recommend it. Even for you crazy straight kids out there. ;) You haven't truly partied until you've partied with the LGBTQ crowd. Especially in San Francisco. Let's hear it for sodomy. (Am I allowed to say that on here?) So that was fun. And I have a feeling I'm gonna be hung over for the next two weeks, but it was well worth it. Anyway, so I've been sort of out of the loop around here. |
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| Tuesday, June 24th, 2003 | |
| 11:34 am | I think some people are probably expecting me to comment on Tobey's party that took place a few nights ago. The truth is, I don't really know what to say. I wasn't trying to piss off a certain someone, though I evidently did, and for that I'm sorry. Is 32 old enough to plead midlife crisis in excuse for that bout of immaturity? DisclaimerThe rest of the night was... interesting. Fun, most of it. I've been kind of a homebody lately, so it was nice to meet and socialize with some new people. The spin the bottle thing wasn't my idea, and to be perfectly honest I didn't even want to play at first. I think I outgrew my make-out party phase a good 14 years ago. But it was that or go home and watch I Love Lucy all night, so I stuck around. If you're expecting hot details, though, you're going to be disappointed. I don't like to kiss and tell. Besides, there's nothing else to report besides a few kisses. I'm pretty satisfied with my current romantic status, thanks. So that's that. I haven't been feeling too well today - probably something I ate. I really must adopt better eating habits - so I think I'm just going to bum around in bed. Might be online if anybody wants to talk. Nicky, I don't know if you'll check this thing but if you do, come by or give me a call or something. I miss you. I know, it's only been two or three days, but still. |
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2003 | |
| 3:09 pm | All week I’ve been resisting the urge to post, because certain people seem to think I talk excessively, especially about myself (and they’re correct, but that is not the point). And now that I’ve actually allowed a reasonable number of days to pass since my last post, I realize that I have nothing interesting to say. DisclaimerI haven’t done much lately except hang out with Nick. Not that I minded that arrangement, but since Tressa’s making Nick spend more time at home now, it’s back to being just me around here, and I haven’t felt social enough to do much to change that. Okay, I lied, I do have something to talk about. Tressa. She’s my twin’s wife, so I should be nice to her, I know. And most of the time I am. She’s tough and doesn’t take shit from anybody, and I respect that in a woman. But she’s also something of a spitfire, and when she unleashes that on Nicky for no good reason, that’s when I get pissed off. He’s her husband, not her human dartboard. I’ve never been one for marriage, personally. Mostly because I’ve never been one for commitment. I mean, I’m 32 years old and my longest relationship lasted four months. So maybe I just don’t understand how marriages are supposed to work. Maybe Nick isn’t completely blameless, but he’s my twin so of course I’m going to take his side. It just drives me crazy that Tressa seems to expect Nick to follow her around like a little puppy, 24/7. It’s not like he’s going out to strip clubs and whorehouses every night. He’s spending time with me. Nick and I have a special relationship, and Tressa knew that (or should have known that) from the very beginning. We aren’t like normal brothers, who see each other once a month and on holidays. Part of it is because we’re twins, a lot of it is just because we’re us. Sometimes people ask what it’s like to be a twin. How do you answer that? I’ve never not been a twin, so I don’t have anything to compare to. Even if I did, I couldn’t answer for every twin, everywhere. I can only speak for myself. And for me, it’s like... it’s like everything in the whole world, everything I’ve ever known, is me and Nick. He’s a part of who I am. A part of me. A world without him would be like -- nothing. It just wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t be. I’m not sure that’ll make sense to anybody. I think it’s the kind of thing you have to experience to truly understand. All I know is that what Nick and I share is special, and I’m incredibly lucky to have it. Most people spend their entire lives searching for their ‘soulmate,’ the person with whom they share a powerful and inexplicable connection. Sometimes they find that person, whether it’s a best friend, a lover, a relative, whatever; sometimes they never do. I found mine before I was even born. Didn’t have to search, he was just there. Always. And our bond has only gotten stronger with time. No matter who else is in either of our lives -- my friends, his friends, my girlfriends/boyfriends, his wife -- we’ll always have each other. So if I’m a little snippy when it comes to Tressa, that’s why. Jealousy is not a flattering shade on her. In other news, I’m in dire need of catch-up time with some people, such as Eliza, Tom, Seth, Aly, Maj, and others. (I got tired of listing people, so if your name isn’t on there, it doesn’t mean I love you any less!) One of these days I will add everyone to my buddy list so I can actually see when people are online... ( OOC ) Current Mood: thoughtful |
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| Monday, June 16th, 2003 | |
| 12:08 pm | So... in retrospect, eating nothing but jelly beans yesterday was apparently a very bad idea. This is why I need my twin around, to make sure I consume actual food when I'm too tired to stray far from my bed. DisclaimerHappy birthday, Tom. May it be filled with all the Seth made me send him chocolates in order to be allowed back in his posse. Greedy little bastard. Because of Nick, I stayed up way later than I should have last night, but it's okay because he's Nick. And I've missed him. Ever have one of those days where you didn't get enough sleep and you don't really have anything intelligent or interesting to say, but you feel like posting anyway, so your post ends up being comprised of random sentences with no cohesion? Yeah, welcome to my world. (And yet I'm still able to use big words. Nick and Seth would be so proud.) |
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| Sunday, June 15th, 2003 | |
| 11:45 am | It's so good to be home. DisclaimerI feel like I could sleep for a year. Not that I'm going to, because then I'd have to wait a year to see Nick, and I don't think either of us could survive being away from each other for that long. But that's how tired I am. The ride was... amazing. I can't even put it into words yet. Maybe once I've slept some more. I just want to say thanks to everybody who supported me along the way, and everybody who donated to the cause. It has meant, and continues to mean, so much to me and to the people living with HIV & AIDS who benefit from the ride. (I sound like I'm giving an award acceptance speech, don't I? This is what happens when you spend seven days putting your body through agony. You get all emotional.) Nick, if I'm feeling less exhausted later today, I'll give you a call. Otherwise, I'm guessing you'll be coming over tomorrow to |
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| Wednesday, June 11th, 2003 | |
| 10:03 pm | And my brother says I never do anything for him. DisclaimerHi. I'm Kelly, known to some as  nicky_brendonCan't say much more right now. I'm doing this bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles to help people living with AIDS/HIV, and I just arrived in Santa Maria (our camping spot for the night) about an hour ago. 101 miles today, baby. Needless to say, I'm not exactly overflowing with unspent energy at the moment. In the past four days we've biked 381 miles total -- which means 205 left. Or something like that. I'm not here to do math. I just ride my bicycle and raise money. Speaking of which, if you want to win my undying love, you'll go make a donation so I can reach my fundraising goal. No amount is too small, or large for that matter. You guys can afford it. I'm just an unemployed brother-of-a-famous-person! With dashing good looks, no less, but I digress. That's all I got for now. Welcome me, adore me, shower me with praise and presents (and did I mention donations?). Oh yeah, and I have an AIM screen name too: kelly x donovan. Don’t be shy. |
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