Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Kristin's Blurty:

Monday, June 12th, 2006
12:09 pm	sigh well...long time, no write. Like I said last post...writing here doesn't do much for me anymore. My life. UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND. i'm tired...i'm crying...and i'm over it. I'm sick of wondering if I'm sick. I'm sick of being pulled in every direction. I'm sick of spreading myself as thin as paper to try to please everyone and myself. I'm sick of my job, the fact that my family...esp my parents couldn't get along to save their lives, the way that I have to feel attached at the hip to my boyfriend because of how he's lied to me in the past and how alot of times I talk to him and wonder if he's even hearing half of what i say...i am just tireeeed. and angry and sad and sometimes I want to leave and not look back. Current Mood: depressed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
8:44 am	I'm getting pretty tired of my life. And it doesnt seem to help much to vent in writing anymore. I am really incredibly over having to worry about what goes on in my own life and take on everyone else's problems too. And I'm tired of feeling guilty for thinking that way. I'm tired of watching my mother lie to my father and living in the middle of them hating each other.I'm tired of worrying about my 27 year old brother...and how I should be doing more for him, but hell I HAVE TRIED..along with every other member of my family. You can't help someone who doesnt WANT to be helped. I'm tired of feeling guilty everytime I want to do something. And I do mean EVERYTHING. My mother is the queen of guilt trips, but I'm tired of living my life to please her and keep her satisfied. And here's my newest load...My sister who I consider to be my very best friend...Last week tells me that she is going to the beach & then to Bev's(the mother of the little boy she babysits through the week) to take the kids swimming in their pool. Won't you come? I said well, not to the beach just becausee I have to be at work at 4, but call me when you start to bev's and i'll meet you there and hang out for a little bit. She said ok, i'll call you. Time passes, no call. Time passes, no call. I call her a few times. No answer. Well around 3 or so, I just head on over to Bev's to wait for her.(I know the garage code to get in cause I have babysat for them a few tiems myself) I pull up onto bev's street and see my sister's van and my aunt's car sitting in the driveway. I call again and this time she answers. She said oh what are you doing? DUH. I said I'm sittin in bev's driveway. she said oh well come on in!...as though it was silly for me to have not been there already. I go inside and my aunt, sister, and the kids are all out in the pool. I'm like what the heck? I didn't say anything and Jen was like OH were you trying to call me? MY phone was inside the house. So basically...I wasted my whole afternoon before work sitting by the phone waiting for her to call and tell me to come on over. And I just show up and find her hanging out there. I'm thinking my sister, as much as I love her, is the type of girl I dealt with in elementary school.. the girl who only knew how to have/handle one friend at a time. This isn't the first time I've thought this...It's just in early situations, I was the one who WON. Now my aunt has moved here and I think my sister will be a bit more scarce. I don't care that she wanted to spend the afternoon w/ my aunt. Just don't have me waiting on you! Just tell me your plans have changed. So yeah, hurt feelings a bit. I'm finding I open up to people less and less. I'm not sure if I'll ever TRULY trust anyone. Really. It's sad.But W/E. Screw it. I'm off to be my mother's taxi for the day. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
4:45 pm	Gahhh Hey Kids... I'm back & I know you mised me. Sooo my lifeee the last few weeks. I am getting into a scary, obsessive state about being sick. It scares me and I feel ridiculous, but at the same time it scares me to think I might possibly NOT be doing this in my head...like what if there was something wrong with me and i'm just calling myself crazy. It's scary to have such a psychological...THING? Like most people would just be like God, stop doing it...stop thinking that way. But seriously as crazy as it may be sounding to you, i have tried to tell myself, but it's so controlling, I can't just say STOP and make it happen. Really...I wake in the morning and it's my first thought...throughout the day it's in my head over and over and over...and sometimes i wake at night thinking about it. I am either very sick with something bad or depressed/worried/stressed. I am voting for the second choice. Really...I have enough issues in my OWN life, but add to it the fact that my brother is a drug addicted alcoholic who just last week escaped jail time, but is now on 6 mos house arrest & 5 yrs probation. I can't explain the guilt I have in the non existent relationship between the 2 of us & how he has this amazing way of making me feel sorry for him & fall into his web of guilt trips and pity parties. It's a real burden. My mom is somewhat of a mental case at times. Not joking at all. I honestly believe she has some kinds of psychological problems. SHe's not completely insane or anything, but I don't believe she's totally with it sometimes. She guilts me alot too. My dad is wonderful, however he only experiences one emotion in life and that is ANGER. He doesn't get sad or worried or anything like that...just ANGRY. It alllll comes out as anger. When he's not mad, he's incredibly wonderful, but you get about half & half. My sister is my best friend, but at times...VERY VERY rare times, I have problems with her too. Add: Being the one that everyone discusses their problems with. They then become MY problems whether I want them or not. Add: trying to find time to work, be with Steve and juggling time with my family, school. Add:the fact that my parents often times cant stand each other. Add: I really never get any time to myself. Someone is ALWAYS here at my house, anytime I try to leave the house & i'm not with Steve my mom gives me a sad sap trip for not bringing her along. And heaven forbid I want to move out and get myself a little peace because once the idea came up, my mom guilted me out with "how much she needs me" and how "heartbroken" both she and my dad would be. I wouldn't go to HURT anyone, I'd go to HELP myself. Seriously, think about it...say i'm not really sick...my physical & mental health is being compromised by constantly ebing here in the middle of PROBLEMSSS! Maybe everyone else here has a better tolerance. Well, I take that back. Both my brother & sister hit the trail not long after their 18th's,but here I sit because I am the last one left and they want to hold on. Fine and dandy if I could tolerate it, but I can't keep putting my health and happiness at risk for everyone else's sake. Aghhhhh...I really feel like I am going crazy. I need help. I really, really do. Current Mood: crappy (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
9:25 am	HOOOORAY Hey kiddies- Guess who's not pregnant? Yup that'd be me. :) Last night I bought 2 diff kinds of tests w/ two tests per pack so we had 4 to play with-lol. I only took one though and I got the ones that read out digitally cause I couldn't bear to drive myself crazy again with the little hairlines or shadow lines and whatnot. So I made Steve go look at it and then funny boy wouldn't speak at first so i flipped out thinking he was just too stunned by the PREGNANT readout to speak. But he was just being a goober. It said NOT PREGNANT clear as day. :-D I was so giddy all night. We went to the birthday party of a guy he works with and I was like all smiles. haha. SOOOO happy! Anywho- decent little party. The brirthday guy-Joe-he has a son who's about 14 and a daughter who's about 10 or 11 it looked like. I think his little girl was after my man-lol. It was really funny. We walked in and she's like Ohhh you're Q right? (they call him Q(his last name initial) at work since 2 steve's work there)He's like yup. She started all following him around and stuff and being a little annoying-lol. Then Steve went to the bathroom and i was sitting on the couch sipping on some Absolut and she's like um..are you one of Kelly's friends?(kelly was a girl around my age who was there) I was like no, I'm steve's girlfreind. She just looked at me and was like OH. And then she left and started playing with the other kids again. lol...I think she thought she really had a chance. i mean c'mon he's only 10 or so years older. :-p anywho-going fishing soon with my brother. lol...I'm such a dork. It's fun though. :) I better get dressed. Laterrrr. Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
10:10 am	Sorry to go on and on about this preg thing...but since Steve & I are the only ones who know that kind of business and he's at work and i've already talked his head off about it...I come here. :-p Tonight we get another ept. I can't wait...but then again i'm afraid of it too. ugh. I love my parents so much and I know they'd do just about anything for me(my dad esp). Sometimes I wish they weren't near me though. I mean I could just do as a I please(not be reckless,just do what i'd like to do) without having to answer to them for my every move. Yes i'm 19, i am an adult...a young one, but an adult all the same. Yes I'm supposed to have control over my own life, but since I live in their house and am in no position to move out, I am under their thumb all the time. For instance- I have to make up stories to go spend the night at Steve's every now and then. I think I should be able to sleep wherever I'd like to without having to fight with someone about it. I guess what I'm syaing is yes I can make my own decisions and do what I want, but the thing is I still have them right here looking over my shoulder so even though I do what I want, it still ends up in a big feud. I wish I was alone just so I wouldn't have to answer for everything I do. My aunt is moving here in a few weeks from Ohio and my sister and I went into the house she's moving into yesterday to look around. I was just looking at that whole big, pretty, empty house thinking how nice it would be if it was ME moving in there. My own place, complete privacy, decorating it the way I want...then I remembered my aunt was the one forking out the 1000 a month rent. :( anywho-I'm off to shower I guess. Try to figure out what i'm doing today...besides worrying. Later gators. Current Mood: lazy (Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
12:13 pm	why isnt it the 28thhhhh yeah so obviously i'm still spazzing about the pregnant thing. I really really REALLY dont see how with protection of depo provera and the fact that all i could've gotten in me was a little pre ejac(you know like so few of the sperm even make it close to an egg) and then when he does get off, he's wearing a spermicidally lubed condom...I just don't see it happening-definitely POSSIBLE which is why I'm freaked, but still how likely could it be? I am very good at talking myself worried/sick...any "symptoms" I might think I'm having could so very well just be the result of me running it through my head over and over and over. Seriously...From the time i wake in the morning til I fall back asleep at night...that is just a constant nagging thought. I keep poking my boobs to see if they feel sore, trying to pay attention to how much i'm peeing, how much i'm eating, if i feel nauseous or if my stomach is just knotted from being worried, twisting myself around to see if im having back pain, staring at myself sideways in the mirror to see if my stomach looks pooched out...seriously so completely overtaken with it right now. A few days after I started taking the amoxicillin last week, I noticed these bumps on the back of my tongue. Just a little larger than regular tastebuds. My mom seemed to think it was probably a result of the antibiotics, but my last day on the amox. was Monday I think...it was mon or tues. so now it's friday-at least 2/3 days later and theyre still on my tongue. Sooo weird. They dont hurt or anything. They're just there. I've heard though that since mono is in your body for life(i had it at age 11) that you can't contract it twice...or that it's very very rare anyway. So hmm... anyway-i think we're taking another ept on the 21st. I've seriously worked myself up so much that i'm afraid to even look at the results now. I'll get steve to check it after the few mins is up. ok blah blah blah. I promise i have better stories to tell her when i'm not going out of my mind with worry so just bear with me. Things will be better after the 28th. :) Off to the dr with my mom. later gators. Current Mood: thoughtful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
12:06 am	oh yeah...happy birthday Steve was 20 on the 9th and I turned 19 on the 11th. Happy birthday to us. :-p (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
11:19 pm	sigh...another week Hello Hello- So has anyone thought I'm interesting enough yet to keep up with my journal? :-p OK...welp, still worrying myself sick about being preg. I don't even know...I just...I really hate myself for even letting myself get in a position to be worrying about this. A long time ago(not last dec, but the one before that) a condom broke on us and I wasn't on depo just yet. It was like a week of panic. After I found out we were in the clear and I got onto the depo injections, I swore up and down that I would never be stuck in that kind of situation again. Never be stressing over possible pregnancy. Well well well...look where i am. I mean i'm not like completely irresponsible-Depo is over 99% effective. It's not like I'm just completely playing with fire, but right about now I wish we used condoms the whole time everytime. Like I said-the only time he doesn't have one on is fora little while in the beginning, he never ejacs inside, but still the beginnings are enough for a problem...but the depooooooo. Lord pleaaaase let the depo be doing it's job! :-/ Most people on depo don't even bother with condoms b/c depo is so effective. We USE condoms-don't let us be the .1 percent of those who get preg! I don't think I am preg...I have just worked myself into this stress about it and now it's just on my mind all the time. So I called the dr;s office today to get my appt on the 21st(I thought it was the 1st day of my time window)...turns out i was mistaken. The first day to get it is the 28th. another week. :( ughhhhhh. I would be so mad at myself...mostly because of my parents. I'd hate myself so much for putting them through that. My sister was preg at 18..unmarried(relying solely on condoms). Kind of a fortunate, unfortunate thing-she miscarried. They didn't disown her or anything and they love her to pieces now, but I saw how hard it was on them and that's one reason I've tried to go about this so responsibly-they don't deserve to go through that again. I hate this hate this hate this. I wish tomorrow was the 28th. Current Mood: worried (Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
8:25 am	hypochondriac, pregnant, sunburn, work, my old best friend... Yeah so...pretty much all that. I've like turned into a hypochondriac(sp?)-those people who are paranoid about sickness. I'm still slightly nervous about being preg...I can't wait til the 21st-I can go to the DR for my next depo injection and they always test my urine before hand and I'm really looking forward to having someone tell me i am not having any babies anytime soon. I need to stop thinking about it though. I have taken 3 EPT's in the last few weeks. 1st one negative, 2nd one negative...but then hours later it got this little like hairline going vertical...it was soooo thin-it didn't look like the illustration on the instructions of a positive test, but even so it freaked me out enough to take another one and it came out negative...soooo i'm thinking and hoping that the 2nd test was kinda messed up. I've been driving myself crazy about it though-like trying to pay attention to how much i'm peeing which i think is more than usual, but i've been drinking alot and my nerves have been crazy and i pee when im nervous-lol, not to sound like a perv, but grabbing around at my boobs to see if they feel tender or look any bigger(no to both of those) and i've been feeling not necessarily nauseous, but not hungry and my stomach just isn't right, but the antibiotic i've been is supposed to cause some stomach upset plus like i said i've been worrying myself to death wondering about pregnancy and trying to diagnose myself with something since i havent been feeling good. I have to keep my mind off it though until I can get in for my depo appt.today is my last day of being on antibiotics and i don't feel all those icky cold symptoms anymore. Whatever infection it was, i think it was cleared up, but my nose is still stuffy/runny. I don't know why that won't go away. anyways-different topic. I went fishing yesterday with my brother and grandma. It was fun, I don't know how I could be the girly girl i am and still love fishing like i do-lol. i won't touch anything aside from my pole, but still. :-p anyways-caught some really cool stuff, but i got sooo sunburned. we were out for like 3 hours and i didn't put sunblock on til the end when i noticed how red i was looking. I got my schedule for work this week...Tues: 4-9:30...that's all-5 and 1/2 hours. haha. I see they're afraid to schedule me now since I have called in for like the last 3 weeks. Thats cool...I can go back in gradually. My old best friend...yeah that'd be Amber. We were like the best of friends for a few years and then last semester, she and I took a pottery class together as our elective and amber ended up failing it cause she like came to class only half the time. Well, I am a busy girl, ok?..I have to work , make time for my family, and Steve, go to class and have homework/study time...I quite frankly think I live a fairly stressful life..a good one, but a stressful one. I really do feel like i'm just balancing a million different things at once. ANyway, I still tried to have time for her too. i would ask her to hang out or go get dinner or blah blah blah...but I would often get "well, i'm going to such and such with my grandma that night" or "i'm babysitting that night-i'll be done about 11:30 or 12 if you wanna hang out after that." YEAH RIGHT. Or if she DID want to hang out, she would often ask, "well, i'm going to Vero to hang out with Ryan. Come with me down there." OK-last time I talked to Ryan, he was obsessed with me and annoyed the crap out of me and Ryan is def a pothead and drinks like a phene. Neither of which am I cool with. I drink on occasion, but it is so rare. And i never have or will do drugs. I am not going to be mean to people who do-in fact, I feel sorry for them, but i'm also not going to go be their best friend. It's not the kind of people I like to associate with. anyways. so now amber like doesnt even talk to me and she actually told our friend Stephanie in a myspace comment "Yeah, I don't really talk to Kristin anymore. I haven't hungr out with her in forever." It made me mad...like it ws solely my fault that we havent hung out. I have tried and I have left her messages and stuff and she just doesn't even care. IDK. Anyways. I guess I should go try to eat some breakfast. Going to the zoo today with my sister,mom, grandma, and the little guys(ethan & collin). I love them. :)And I WILL be wearing sunblock today. lol. Later gators. Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
8:25 am	hypochondriac, pregnant, sunburn, work, my old best friend... Yeah so...pretty much all that. I've like turned into a hypochondriac(sp?)-those people who are paranoid about sickness. I'm still slightly nervous about being preg...I can't wait til the 21st-I can go to the DR for my next depo injection and they always test my urine before hand and I'm really looking forward to having someone tell me i am not having any babies anytime soon. I need to stop thinking about it though. I have taken 3 EPT's in the last few weeks. 1st one negative, 2nd one negative...but then hours later it got this little like hairline going vertical...it was soooo thin-it didn't look like the illustration on the instructions of a positive test, but even so it freaked me out enough to take another one and it came out negative...soooo i'm thinking and hoping that the 2nd test was kinda messed up. I've been driving myself crazy about it though-like trying to pay attention to how much i'm peeing which i think is more than usual, but i've been drinking alot and my nerves have been crazy and i pee when im nervous-lol, not to sound like a perv, but grabbing around at my boobs to see if they feel tender or look any bigger(no to both of those) and i've been feeling not necessarily nauseous, but not hungry and my stomach just isn't right, but the antibiotic i've been is supposed to cause some stomach upset plus like i said i've been worrying myself to death wondering about pregnancy and trying to diagnose myself with something since i havent been feeling good. I have to keep my mind off it though until I can get in for my depo appt.today is my last day of being on antibiotics and i don't feel all those icky cold symptoms anymore. Whatever infection it was, i think it was cleared up, but my nose is still stuffy/runny. I don't know why that won't go away. anyways-different topic. I went fishing yesterday with my brother and grandma. It was fun, I don't know how I could be the girly girl i am and still love fishing like i do-lol. i won't touch anything aside from my pole, but still. :-p anyways-caught some really cool stuff, but i got sooo sunburned. we were out for like 3 hours and i didn't put sunblock on til the end when i noticed how red i was looking. I got my schedule for work this week...Tues: 4-9:30...that's all-5 and 1/2 hours. haha. I see they're afraid to schedule me now since I have called in for like the last 3 weeks. Thats cool...I can go back in gradually. My old best friend...yeah that'd be Amber. We were like the best of friends for a few years and then last semester, she and I took a pottery class together as our elective and amber ended up failing it cause she like came to class only half the time. Well, I am a busy girl, ok?..I have to work , make time for my family, and Steve, go to class and have homework/study time...I quite frankly think I live a fairly stressful life..a good one, but a stressful one. I really do feel like i'm just balancing a million different things at once. ANyway, I still tried to have time for her too. i would ask her to hang out or go get dinner or blah blah blah...but I would often get "well, i'm going to such and such with my grandma that night" or "i'm babysitting that night-i'll be done about 11:30 or 12 if you wanna hang out after that." YEAH RIGHT. Or if she DID want to hang out, she would often ask, "well, i'm going to Vero to hang out with Ryan. Come with me down there." OK-last time I talked to Ryan, he was obsessed with me and annoyed the crap out of me and Ryan is def a pothead and drinks like a phene. Neither of which am I cool with. I drink on occasion, but it is so rare. And i never have or will do drugs. I am not going to be mean to people who do-in fact, I feel sorry for them, but i'm also not going to go be their best friend. It's not the kind of people I like to associate with. anyways. so now amber like doesnt even talk to me and she actually told our friend Stephanie in a myspace comment "Yeah, I don't really talk to Kristin anymore. I haven't hungr out with her in forever." It made me mad...like it ws solely my fault that we havent hung out. I have tried and I have left her messages and stuff and she just doesn't even care. IDK. Anyways. I guess I should go try to eat some breakfast. Going to the zoo today with my sister,mom, grandma, and the little guys(ethan & collin). I love them. :)And I WILL be wearing sunblock today. lol. Later gators. Current Mood: stressed (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 9th, 2006
9:20 pm	hmmm Well... I have decided in the last little bit that my mom might not be as terrible as i like to think. I've felt alot better throughout this sick time I've been having with her assuring me that i'm fine everytime I've found some new ailment to make me think i'm falling apart. :-/ however...I do not care for the way that she speaks about Steve sometimes. I am committed to him for the time being. I am happy with him and he has not given me reason to want to break things off. I had a big tiff with him back in December, but that's in the past now and we're doing good. I won't stay with someone who isn't deserving of me. I won't tolerate being lied to, cheated on,or abused or something...etc. But she is sooo on the idea of "go out with someone else/other people" she said- "you're not married, you don't have to act married." I don't act married...I act like someone who has agreed to become exclusive in a relationship with someone and if I don't feel a need for that to change then...it's not going to! :-/ I see her biggest point-she wants me with someone who is attending or has seious plans to attend college. Fair enough, I kind of want the same and he and I have been talking and he has plans to start comm college where I go within the next semester or two. And my dad says Steve's a good guy, but he has alot of growing up to do. I agree...I dont think Steve is some complete immmature kid, but yeah he does have some growing up to do. Hell...so do I...the thing is we've got some time. Niether of us is looking to get hitched tomorrow or anything. There is no rush, i'm willing to wait it out for him to get himself "grown up"...I need some of it myself. idk...it just bothers me. I don't like him being put down by them. I don't think they are aware of how happy he really does make me. sighhh. I'm tired and I have class in the AM. But hey-I'm feeling some better! :) I ate pretty decently today which makes me happy-I'm not a twig, but i'm in no position to be losing a bunch of weight-NOT cool kids. :-p Alrighty-goodnighhht! Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
6:05 pm	new blurty for meee... Hey kids- Ok, so I quit this blurty business awhile back b/c I don't like this thing being read by people I know...but my b/f found me out and started reading up so I quit it for awhile. But noooow I've decided I want to come back. :) I like writing alot and this is a decent enough place to clear my head. :-p FYI- I really like getting comments so if you've got something to say, feel free. :) Mk, so for starters...my name is Kristin. I'll be 19 this coming Saturday.(march 11th) hoorah, hoorah. :-p I live at home with my parents. I have an older brother(Joe), sister(Jen), brother in law(Scott) and 2 little nephews.(Ethan & Collin) My adorable boyfriend's name is Steve. Just so you know who's who when I start blabbing about them. Maybe I'll give you a better story of my life sometime later. Welp...today I have been trying to recover. Still. Like 2 weeks ago, i started feeling all icky in my stomach & having fevers and thought I picked up a bug or something. So I kinda started feeling better, but went to the DR just in case cause my 4 year old nephew Ethan had just gotten over strep throat and I was wondering if i'd gotten it from him. Strep test came back negative, but they said my throat was pretty red. So I got a prescription for an antibiotic and she told me I didn't have to take it unless I started feeling bad again. Soooo, my aunt and little cousin come for a visit and both are hacking their lungs out while they're here. Then day before yesterday I was having cold-ish like symptoms & by the time I went to bed I felt like my throat was on fire. So i decided to get that prescription filled the next morning. Got home with the pills( amoxicillin) and they were like massively huge so after a call to the DR's office I got a liquid form called into the pharmacy for me. Started taking it last night. Still not feeling so hot...the mention of mono came up when I had that dr's appt...could be? I had mono once when I was like 11 or 12, but all I had was incredibly bad headaches and I could barely stay awake. Not any nausea, loss of appetite, or coldish like stuff. But apprently those can all be symptoms. Odd though that Steve feels good. He was sore throated and stuffy nosed for like 2 days last week but now he's fine? I even peed on a stick to knock that off the list, but it was without a doubt negative. I didnt think I was...depo+condoms= good stuff at least in my opinion. i seriously don't even know...maybe just a bad infection. whatever it is, I hope this amoxicillin stuff kills it. I'm pretty much over not feeling good. On top of all the sick fun i've been having, I'm currently failing my college algebra class. Annnnd the proff has scheduled our next test(test #2) AFTER the withdrawal date so I won't even be able to take another stab at a good test grade before my chance to get out with a grade of W instead of F. It'll just be a REAL gamble to take the test and hope for a good grade. :-/ :-/ :-/ i hate math. If college was all about writing/ comm classes, I'd already be done. If it wasn't for those pesky math courses. Ergh. My grandma has just moved in with us about 2 weeks ago. She is also hacking her lungs out now. I feel bad if im the one who gave it to her. :-/ my parents and all the other "kids" want her to live here with us permanently b/c she's getting so old and unsteady and she was apparently like slightly malnutritioned when my aunt took her from her house because she is alone there and depressed and wasn't eating good because of it. She wants to go home when the winter weather is over though. No one has sat down with her yet to tell her they're not letting her go stay there(ohio) by herself. That she can live with us and my mom will drive her home to visit for 3 weeks or so then they will come back here. I guess no one wants to cause fireworks before they absolutely have to. Ok enough for now. I might be back later if I can't sleep tonight. Later. (Comment on this)