Below are the most recent 6 friends' journal entries.

Saturday, November 7th, 2009
blurtysecret [ xflipp3floppx ]	7:01p	It might be unclear sometimes, but when I think about it... I'm just so in love with you. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 31st, 2009
unsent [ xyour_suicidex ]	2:07p	dear fucking tim. what happened? how did you go from being so in love with me it made me nervous to not giving a shit about me? how did we go from me being skeptical and not expecting it to start, let alone last, to me sitting here crying wondering what I did or said or didn't do that made you stop liking me. How did you turn me into such a fucking cliche? why do i have to sit here and wonder if you fucked someone else while you were with me? DID you? You probably have since we broke up, anyway. at least one girl. You told me once in a moment of honesty that you've dated 38 girls. You've reduced me down to a number. I'm now number 39. You used to tell me about your ex's a lot. I wonder what you'll tell people about me. If you'll tell people about me. Maybe I don't even qualify. Long distance doesn't count or something. I keep replaying everything over. and. over. what the fuck did i do wrong? I tried not to be clingy. I was attentive when you talked, I didn't talk too much, I tried to give you everything you wanted. So why am I the one left feeling like shit? I am so tired of talking about you, thinking of you. Did you know I can't even fucking touch myself without thinking about you? That was more than anyone who's reading this wanted to know, but you were the first person I showed EVERYTHING to. I told you things I've never told anyone. And you threw it all back in my face. Fuck you, number thirty nine. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 30th, 2009
sadward	5:38p	You can keep your black tongue [that I found at the mortuary] I knew if I worded it right, he would let me have a beer while I worked, putting inventory in. Rolling Rock is by far my favorite beer. I really wish I could be poetic, vague & enigmatic. Write in my own language. I've been so worn out. Mentally & Physically. Work & Dr. J have me strung out. Today has been... fuck. 4 interviews while trying to juggle checks & stupid employees & training for coffee on the expresso machine. I have a new girl & hopefully she won't bail. We've had such bad luck lately. I worked with her before. I bought Cameron & I a new coffee table... cause I fell&broke the other one, lol. My Dr. J seems to like Cam. He says he's a smart guy, even though he doesn't know him- from what I tell him about how Cameron reacts & the things he says about my flaws or whatever you want to call them. I always read Cam my homework. Tonight... I have to reveal all my wrong doings in the past. Be an open book & see if he still accepts me so I won't feel so horrible about myself & not deserving. I also have to write letters to those I've done significant wrongs to that could be me making me feel like a horrible person. I also have to write down all my self-loathing/worthless thoughts. &then be rational about them & write that down. Oh, & raise meds mgs up. .... Cameron & I carved pumpkins at mum's last night. It was awesome. I did my made-up jap-girl Romi making this face >.< and below it, it says NYAH! Best part, cooked pumpkins seeds. Work has seriously killed any creative & intellect strand in my body I may have had. My brain has no room for anything but work, cam & booze lol OH! I'm going to be a Barista! That's what they call cafe people, lol. I guess. Gah. I need another beer. CAMERON! -yeymmm- Oh, Halloween party [pics on myspace] was insane. From what I remember. Cameron took like 18 syringe jello shots, or Kurt Cobain, rather. He lost his glasses & I lost my tiara. We had a room out at BRP, I woke up fully dressed & my fangs still in & Cameron in the opposite bed. Woke up again & he was in bed with me. We recollect nothing. Him, from being intoxicated. Me, klonopin + booze. My shoes had dirt all over them & my knees are fucked, lol. That's the beauty of being Courtney Love for Halloween. The more trashed you get, the more in character you are! Really? Really? Still? Shit talk? Really? Aaahhh lol I just think of Cole's comment from a couple entries ago. So, I've been a thrift store/salvation army queen as of late. I've found treasures, yo. I found Cameron this awesome, had to be hella expensive, wool sweater made in scotland. I washed & dried it... so now it's my sweater, lol. I need to get to Cola to the Good Will on St. Andrews. I always found money in the pockets of the pants I bought >.> I'm so uniform anymore, textually. In real life, I'm still the strange me. But my blurty is... failing. Maybe because I only get the chance to write when I'm at work &I can't concentrate. Did I mention the Whip It soundtrack is my addiction right now. RDFTW That's it. Rolling Rock. Cheers Current Mood: ++ [-] Current Music: Blue Cars//Dishwalla (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
sadward	5:55p	3m0//&loving it. &I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss. So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it. Keep me&I'll mend you. My world's hanging by three words That I can't bear to say... Can you keep a secret? I'm in love. Don't tell anyone. [Especially him] Only 6 months. For Fuck sake's. Baby, I'm afraid of a lot of things- But I aint scared of lovin' you. Baby, I know your afraid of a lot of things- But don't be scared of love. 'Cause people will say all kinds of things- That dont mean a damn to me. 'Cause all I see Is whats in front of me [&thats you] Well, I've been dragged all over the place I've taken hits time just don't erase &Baby, I can see you've been fucked with, too- But that don't mean your lovin' days are through Well I maybe just be a fool But I know you're just as cool &cool kids They belong together When I'm stable long enough I start to look around for love "So give me your lips&just let me kiss 'em &let's get messed up &listen to probably the best mixtape I have" -Butch Walker Why'd you have to be so cute- It's impossible to ignore you. &Why'd you make me love you so much, It's bad enough we get along so well. Forget your scars We'll forget mine The hours change so fast Oh, God, please make this last. |Magnetic| There’s static in our skin. Current Mood: +++ Current Music: Heads Will Roll//YYYs (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
blurtysecret [ shoot_the_moon ]	11:21p	(Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
blurtysecret [ queenofpain3 ]	3:42a	I'm afraid that if we take a picture together now it won't show the same happiness that used to be there...what happened to us?? (Comment on this)