~* Candy *~'s Journal
08:04pm 18/05/2004
mood: busy
music: Wish ~ Hitomi
I haven't updated this thing in 50 billion years. It feels.. odd. Anyway, life is good ^_^ My layout on this thing is so hideous o.o I need to change it. Anyway, to basically sum everything up in my life, I've been busy with track, school, homework, my sisters wedding, my boyfriend and a junk load of other things @_@ I'll update this later when I actually think of something good to say ^^;
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
11:11pm 29/03/2004
  *Hey everyone, sorry I havent updated in ages ^_^; I think I'm going to delete my blurty though since I use livejournal more now anyway. For those of you who dont know my lj username, it's xSweetVanillax so add me if you want and I'll add you back. It's friends only though so.. ^_^ Well, anywho.. that's about it. Ja!*  
1 BlOsSoM ~*~ ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
10:25pm 19/03/2004
mood: cheerful
music: Fly Away ~ Crystal Kay
*Ashley just called me on her cell phone and I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom so I went running down the stairs to get the phone but my dad got to it first and looked at the caller ID and her cell shows up as "Unavailable" so my dad was like "Dont answer that phone! It's those damn telemarketers again!" Me:"o.o *stares at phone, toothpaste smeared all over my mouth*" Oy.. I feel so bad now ^^; Well, besides that, I'm in a pretty good mood. After a little begging and annoying, I persuaded my parents to get me my guitar! Whoohoo! I'm getting it tomorrow. And plus, tomorrow I'm going shopping at Mall of America with my mom for new clothes ^_^ Must.. go.. to.. pacsun! I need new shoes and pants.. maybe a few shirts. Tomorrow is going to be awesome. New guitar.. new clothes.. ^__^ This Wednesday I'm dying, cutting and highlighting my friend Jennys hair. I can't believe she actually trusts me with that stuff, but I've cut peoples hair before, like my friend Taija, and Jennys seen it and she really likes it so *shrugs* then Thursday is Rae's birthday so I'm probably going to get her a shirt from Aero or AE, some stuff from claries and burn her a few Kpop CD's. I talked to Kinichii for about 2 minutes on msn but he had to go somewhere with his mom =( but, he said he'd be back later tonight so.. I suppose I'm going to wait for him. I still have a bit of a crush on him ^_^; Oh well, I'm going to grab something to eat and read some more of my book so Ja!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
08:06pm 18/03/2004
mood: weird
music: none
*I got an LJ ^_^ Well.. a new one. My new sn is now xSweetVanillax inspired by Hyde and also.. ahem, someone >.> It's friends only though (thank goodness) so yeah, add me if you want and I'll add you back. Well.. today was.. interesting. Enough said. I'm going to go take a nap though and pray that when I wake up, everything that happened today will have never actually really happened *nods* Ja!*
4 BlOsSoMs ~*~ ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
*Er -.-*   
06:21pm 17/03/2004
mood: cheerful
music: Yesterday ~ Cherry Filter
*Melissa is pissing me off. My god, the girl asked me to burn her a CD just yesterday so I told her I would but it would take a while considering Im burning CD's for like 7 people, not to mention I have homework to do, I'm dying Jesse, Amrit, Cherie, Jenny, and Kirstens hair and then I have to highlight Whitney & Marias hair. She keeps asking me every 5 minutes "Got my CD? I'll be expecting my CD tomorrow" and I was just like "Chillll woman, I've got a life you know. I'm trying, okay? Relax" and she got all crabby ~.~ Whatever. I talked to my counselor today and she's letting me drop my Gourmet Foods class, thank god*

*Me ranting about some completely random and odd subject* )

*But yeah.. besides all of that, things in life are.. well. I think I'm actually improving my grades a lot now this trimester ^_^ I have a lot of things I need to do to fix my schedule next year *sigh* Oh well, I'm talking to my counselor again tomorrow so we'll work it all out. I'm really excited to see what I got on my algebra test tomorrow, I'm almost positive I aced it but I don't want to jinx it. Anyway, I'm going to go read and work on my speech homework so, Ja!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
09:59pm 16/03/2004
mood: happy
music: Fantasy ~ Harisu
*Is it just me.. or has Mr. Hyde look alike just crossed the fine line between Student and Student teacher relationship? I went to class early today, like usual.. and when I walked in I turned my head to the left and he was RIGHT there so I kind of jumped and dropped my backpack on my foot and he laughed, then we started chatting a little bit about random school stuff. No one else was in the room except him and me and the door was shut o.o I was standing by my table and he was standing in front of me swinging around a yard stick and we were just laughing at dumb jokes and then I was grabbing my lotion out of my backpack (so I was turned around) and he hit my butt.. with the yardstick o.o It kind of hurt and I gave a little jump and he was just laughing and staring at me.. okay, He's very hott, but that just kind of creeps me out. I didn't know what to say so I was just like "Ah! Don't hit my butt with that thing!" and he sat on the table in front of me, smiling and looking at me o.o I felt very.. awkward. I started making faces at him and he wacked me in the shins with the yardstick, not really hard but it did make them tingle a little @_@ I think he was enjoying it.. *blinks* but after that, Bentson walked in so he didn't do anything else, we just sat and talked. Whenever its just us two, he acts very.. strange. But when other people are around, he acts normal. *shrugs* Anyway, play practice has been going pretty good, haven't had to practice kiss Jared yet XD I talked to Ms. Mark, the track coach, and I'm now a trainer for the track team and if someone gets injured, I give them first aid.. like badage them up or give them ice packs (I have to be trained though by the nurse which'll be cool) and then I take attendence, tell them the plan for the day.. it's pretty cool =) Next year at the start of Football season I'm going to be a trainer as well. You get to go to all the games for free and you get up close seats and stuff =) That'll help me a lot though since I'm considering possibly going into nursing. After high school, Nick, Emily, Kirsten and I are moving to New York. We were looking at apartments online for fun and we found a 5 bedroom apartment for $600 a month and I think it even had a fireplace.. it was pretty nice. Once we all turn 16, we're getting jobs and opening a special savings account for when we go to NY, we planned it out and each of us are going to deposit $200 a month for 3 years. But anyway, I'm going to get going to bed now because I have an algebra test tomorrow so I need rest if I want to do well, also I need to finish up some homework, but I think I have 2nd-5th period all open, leaving me with only 3 classes the entire day ^_^ Ja!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
*Phone convo with Ash*   
09:33pm 14/03/2004
mood: embarrassed
music: Morning Glow ~ Mayuko Aoki
*lol, I just got off the phone with Ashley a little bit ago.. I dunno what happened but the phone got disconnected o.O Maybe my phone was being retarded *shrugs* eek, when I first answered the phone I couldnt understand what she was saying and I thought it was a telemarketer for some reason ^_^; then I went in the basement and asked who it was and then I finally figured out it was her XD I feel so dumb. I guess I was pretty nervous because my voice was a little shakey and I was really quiet ^^; nyah.. I talk like such a dork. We would start talking about one subject for a little bit and then go silent and then switch to some other random subject XD I think I was partly quiet because I had a little trouble understanding what she was saying.. not that I don't know english, it's just difficult for me to understand southern accents and plus she talks a little fast lol she sounds like my cousin Sydnee though, I thought it was pretty funny, and how she says "what the crap" a lot lol. Oh well, maybe we'll get another chance to talk again and next time I wont be so quiet XD I hope I didn't seem stuck up, I noticed that I giggle and say "Oh" and "Aw" a lot o.o; I don't think I have an accent..? *shrugs* I almost hung up on her at first cause I didn't know what she was saying (which is why I thought it was a telemarketer) ^^; I thought she was asking for someone named "Louis" and I was just like "What? Who is this?" oyy, I'm so dumb lol.. oh well, that went pretty good I guess for being our first phone convo, I talked more than I usually do with other people lol. I think I'm probably more talkative online.. but yeah, mid-winter break starts Friday, thank goodness. I have hockey tomorrow.. I think? Either that or we're starting our dance unit o.o I refuse.. to square dance. I'm kind of excited for play practice, it's pretty fun ^_^ I get nervous though when everyone watches me but Gardener says I have to get used to it *rolls eyes* I get to see Mr. Hyde tomorrow!!.. for about 5 minutes.. =( Tomorrow I have Civics as an open period because its a check in day and if we're missing assignments we have to stay.. except we havent had any assignments yet to be backscheduled for =( I wonder if I can stay and help him organize papers or something.. we'll see. I'm going to go lay down and read a book or something now though so, Ja!!!!!!!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
05:32pm 13/03/2004
mood: cheerful
music: Jealousy ~ Aikawa Nanase
*Today I finally got my hair fixed. I had Kou do my hair, like usual ^_^ gah.. it took 4 1/2 hours to do @_@ It was pretty funny though, I love Kou, he's so funny. He's this really short, chubby mongolian guy with black hair and platinum streaks and he spikes his bangs straight up XD He has a bit of a lisp too.. he's more feminine than I am lol, eh, you gotta love him though =) Last night I went to space aliens with Rae, Ang, Colleen, Derreck, Mary, Stina, Chris, Jess and a ton of people and we ate and played games.. then Rae, Ang and Colleen put together their tickets and got me a giant life-size blow up purple alien doll and theyre going to take a picture of Mr. T aka Mr. Hyde and tape his picture to the aliens face so that I'll have something to "practice making out with" -.-; *shrugs* They're serious about it too. I'm just going to take the picture and frame it and hide it somewhere in my room ^_^; I can't wait to see him on Mondayyyyy! *sighs* he's so perfect. I'm excited for next weekend because I finally get to go clothes shopping and I'm going to the mall of america and albertville outlet mall =) fun-ness. I start mid-winter break on Friday and then I have to go to Rae and Jennys birthdays/sleepovers. Maybe over break I'll finally have time to finish my books and just relax. I really wish I could meet a guy my own age right now that's cute, smart and funny so that I can stop being interested in my freaking student teacher because its just.. awkward. I think he pinched my butt yesterday but then again I wonder if it was an accident while he was reaching for his briefcase, because I was on the floor next to him, stacking papers on the shelf and I felt him touch my butt but that was probably an accident, I'm sure. Well, I'm not sure so I'm just going to let that pass by. Anyway, I'm hungry so I'm going to go eat and watch Pirates of the Carribean (Johnny Depp and Orlando *drools*), Ja!!!!!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
09:36pm 10/03/2004
mood: giggly
music: Temptation ~ Harisu
Lihn and Mr. Hyde
  • Likely to adopt all evil children.
  • Pretend to listen to music together in private.
  • Harbour intense love for each other.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

*lol okay I just had to post that because I'm a geek and I'm easily amused XD Well, I still have some homework to finish so Ja!!!!!!*

P.S. I LOVE MR. HYDE!!!!!! XD Who cares if hes 5 years older than me! HES DAMNNNNNNN FINE XD his butt.. is perfect.. Okay, I'm tired so this is my crackhead side coming out @_@ yes.. I'm leaving now..
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
06:04pm 09/03/2004
mood: hopeful
music: Doll ~ Lee Ji Hoon ft/ Shin Hye Sung
*I'm so freaking embarassed! I went to civics class today 15 minutes early to talk to Mr. Hyde (his real last name is like Tielandear or something o.o) ^__^ I walked in and I was like "Oops, am I early?" even though I really *did* know when class actually starts XD he was like "Yep" and sitting at his desk looking all cute and writing something down so I went and sat in my chair and turned around, watching him and he looked up at me and smiled *melts* and then he was like "I suppose you'd like to know what I'm doing?" Me:"Yup" and he laughed a little and said he was going over his lesson he had planned for our class so I sat there like "Oooooh.." looking interested, and then he started eating skittles in front of my face to tease me -.- but he gave me some, yayy! I was sitting on the corner of his desk and I dug out all the red and yellow skittles in his skittle jar and ate them and he just looked at me while I was stuffing them in my mouth and I stopped and looked at him, blinked and then looked to my sides and he just started laughing at me and was like "Jeez, aren't you hungry today" and I sat there thinking he was insulting me and I blurted out "are you saying Im fat?!" and he started laughing so hard and was like "nooonono! how can you be fat? Youre so small, I was just saying you look like you havent eaten today" so then I said "Oh.. yeah.. I knew that.. I was just.. *pauses and thinks*.. Testing you! Yeah, I was testing you" and he laughed and was saying how funny I am *melts all over the floor* and then I was like "You know what?" him:"Hm?" Me:"Do you know Hyde?" him:"No, who's he?" Me:"*pulls out binder and shows him a picture*" him:"*looks*" Me:"You kinda look like him *says it like she never notied until just recently*" him:"Is that bad?" Me:"How can it be BAD?!?! hes HOTT!- oh my god! I mean NO.. no.. its not bad, I didnt say anything before that >.>" and he started laughing and was like "I guess I should take that as a compliment" @_@ I just sat there screaming at myself in my head "baka, baka, BAKA!!!!!" *slaps forehead* and then being the clumsy idiot I am I was holding onto the side edge of his desk and somehow cut my finger and it started bleeding -.-; He gave me a band aid though and thought it was funny.. he thinks EVERYTHING I do is funny.. what a geek ~.~ so cute though.. after that though Barb and Bich walked into the room so no more flirting =( Oh jeez -.- and while we were in groups working on another worksheet I didnt know but he was standing right behind me looking over my shoulder to see if I was working on it and I turned my head, saw his face RIGHT there and I jumped and was like "Eek!" and my girl friends just squealed with laughter.. including him -.-; then he said we "werent working" when we really were and he sat there watching every single thing I wrote down and it kind of creeped me out with him constantly watching me @_@ or maybe I was nervous? he kept pestering me on how I hold my pencil too and fixed my hand so I held it right but I just kept going back to how I usually write anyway so he gave up XD then we all somehow got into a discussion about gay marriages and Bich and I were going on about how it should be legal and I just kind of got.. really into it.. and he sat there listening and covering his mouth trying not to laugh the whole time o.o He said I have some "interesting points".. is that good? god hes so hott @_@ I NEED TO STOP THIS!!!!!!! HES TOO OLD FOR MEEEE! he's like 20 years old! AND HES A FREAKING TEACHERS ASSISTANT! BUT HE LOOKS LIKE HYDE!!!!!!! *bangs head on desk* how am I supposed to say NO TO A JROCKER LOOK ALIKE?! whenever I see him I immediately just want to slam him against a wall and kiss him @_@ THIS IS SO GROSS!!!!!!! I have MAJOR issues!... Oyy.. well, Im going to go get something to eat so Ja!! Maybe my mind will be cleansed of these.. icky thoughts.... hopefully @_@*
1 BlOsSoM ~*~ ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
10:10pm 08/03/2004
mood: giggly
music: Me singing to myself.. >.>
*Well.. the concert was.. interesting. I saw Mr. T aka Hyde look alike and sexy choir teacher Mr. Larson sooo I guess you could say I'm one very happy girl ^__^ I got to sit right inbetween both the sexys during the wind ensemble performance which was about 30-45 mins *melts* okay, actually it started out I couldnt find a seat, sat down in the first seat I saw open, which happened to be next to sexy choir teacher, free seat next to me, along come Mr. T out of no where and plops right down o.o it was pure heaven I tell you... heaven. After the concert I called home for someone to pick me up and Tackling, our band teacher was trying to get Rae and I to leave so he could change his clothes in his office and he was like "I'm getting undressed!" and that was right when I was talking to my dad and my dad was like "what the hell is going on?!" and I was like "just pick me up" and then Tackling was like "My pants are now coming off!" and I heard Rae and Ang scream and my dad was like "What the fuck are you doing?! You better not-" Me:"See you in 10 minutes *click*" XD yeah.. it was.. weird. Oh well, Tacklings pretty good looking and hes not old so *shrugs* anyway he wasnt really getting undressed ~.~ At the reception I was at a table with Rae and we were eating cookies & juice and then Mr. Larson stole one of my cookies and ate it then patted me on the head like "Thanks for giving me your cookie.. this is so good.. m&m cookie.. mm.. and theres lots of m&ms! *eats it in front of my face*" and I tried grabbing it back and he goes "Nuh uh! *shakes finger* Its mine now *laughs*" so I called him a Cookie Nazi and he choked on his juice from laughing ^^; then Mr. T came over to see what we were all laughing about and smiled and nodded at me and Rae elbowed me in the waist @_@ *melts* two sexy men.. I thought I would go blind from being exposed to such sexyness. But yeah, they were like "So what did you think of the wind ensemble?" and I was like "Oh, they were really good" and Mr. T was like "Yeah right, I saw you sleeping in your chair *narrows eyes*" Me:"Uh.. >.> well.. its near my bed time! what do you expect!? .. not saying I have a bed time or anything because only nerds do you know.. and.." and they were both laughing at me and then they got into discussion about my hair and arguing wheather it was dark red, black with red, reddish purple, or maroon or black with just some kind of red tint effect.. and.. they touched my hair o.o *melts* then Mr. T complimented me and said I smelled good XD wheeeeewoooooo!!!!!! Okay, I've already had about 11 people tell me that they honestly predict I'll end up raping either Mr. T or Mr. Larson before I graduate -.-; not funny. It's like everyone is just egging me on or something, Nick and Jesse were making a bet about it -.- So what if I think theyre hott?! Im sure theres other girls who have had crushes on a few of their male teachers!.. maybe.. oh god, Steve asked me if I wanted to have his baby -.- Riiight. I dont get this.. Steve says hes gay but then says if he ever *did* date a girl he'd date me. Wouldnt that make him bi? Oh well, hes cool.. when hes not being a perv. I should go to bed now though, school is tomorrow afterall.. and I have to learn 20 napkin folds for Gourmet Cooking -.- Oh well.. pleasent dreams to me of Mr. T and Mr. Larson XD *melts* Jaaaaaaa neeeee! ^_____^*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
*Uh oh..*   
05:10pm 08/03/2004
mood: pleased
music: Fallen ~ Sarah McLachlin
*I'm in love... with the student teacher in my civics class o.o Theres nothing wrong with having a small crush on a TA, right? >.> Right...? <.<... *coughs* okay actually this is the second teacher I've had a crush on XD Mr. Larson, the choir teacher.. whoaa buddy, he's soo good looking ^^; He's only in his early twenties too! But, the TA in my civics class, Mr. T (cant pronounce the full name ~.~) oh god.. I walked into class, saw him, stopped dead in my tracks, blinked, then began to walk again without taking my eyes off of him and then tripped right over Barb and fell flat on my face @_@ talk about embarassing.. -.-; HE LOOKS LIKE FREAKING HYDE!!!!!!! HYDE!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes.. HYDE! H-Y-D-E! *melts* I immediately claimed a seat at a table near his desk but facing in a direction so I could easily glance up and over at him XD wait.. what the hell is wrong with me?! HES A FREAKING TEACHER ASSISTANT!.. but hes not that old and.. he DOES LOOK LIKE HYDE! EXACTLY LIKE HYDE! Except taller considering Hyde is only what? 5'4"? *sighs* I kept drooling over him and my girl friends were like "Eww! Hes a teacher!" Me:"and a hott one too *nods*" XD Well.. I can look, right?? ^_^; We were working on worksheets together in groups so I was with Amara, Barb and Bich and Mr. T came walking by and he stood over by us like right behind me and I froze and all my friends bursted out laughing and he was just like "What are you all laughin about?" and they all looked at me again and started laughing.. again.. -.-; He said we weren't focusing so he pulled up a chair and sat with us.. or rather more like NEXT TO ME and I turned so red and Barb was crying from laughing so hard at the reaction on my face @_@ He finally figured out they were laughing at me and stared at me and was like "Whats so funny?" and I was like "Uh-um.. I have NOOoo idea.. nope.. theyre just weird! Yeah.. you know.. too much sugar.. and stuff.." *slaps forehead* baka baka BAKA!!!!!! He had his hand on my hand for about a minute @_@ *melts* Okay, it was more like because he was trying to correct how I hold my pencil and I couldnt hold it right so he was trying to show me but.. it was still really nice ^_^; his hands are big, they felt like he works out or something.. his breath smelled good too *squeal* well his head was like --- that far from mine when he was talking to me so.. oh man.. his cologne.. smells so good too.. HE KNEW WHAT POCKY WASSS!!!!!!!!! @_@ My friends and I were eating pocky and he was like "Hey is that pocky?" Me:"*gasp* YOU KNOW WHAT POCKY IS?!" Him:"*laughs* Yeah, what kind is that?" Me:"Umm.. chocolate almond stuff.. want some? *holds box out to him*" it was so cute how he ate it.. and the way he chews.. he had some chocolate on his lip and amara and I started giggling and he kept trying to lick it off his lips and then just wiped it off with his hand XD So kawaii... *cough* ANYWAY!!!!!!! THIS IS UNHEALTHY! I must erase my mind of these dirty thoughts! *bashes head on desk* and now I must go get ready for my concert tonight, JAAAAA!*
1 BlOsSoM ~*~ ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
09:30pm 05/03/2004
mood: loved
music: My Gift to You ~ Chemistry
*Great.. JUST great! I was dying my hair back to black, right? and then afterwards my mom was going to put red streaks in it.. BUTTTTTTT.. she SOMEHOW got the two mixed up and ended up dying all my hair BRIGHT RED!!! Erghh.. >< my parents were laughing so hard and calling me the "asian version of pipi longstocking" -.- yeah.. so Im sitting here now, dying my hair back to black.. and then we're going to the salon tomorrow to have them do it instead because I dont trust my mom. Eh, I'm not all that pissed though. I've been in a very good mood lately actually ^_^ I finally talked to Kin!!!! Last night he came on msn and we had a nice chat.. I confessed to him that I still had feelings for him and he said he felt the same way too and said he missed me a lot.. all my friends are under the impression that I probably "love" him.. I don't know.. maybe.. he asked me last night if I loved him and I got so nervous @_@ His friend asked me if I would go live with him but then Kin was saying how I was already taken by him XD I'm glad to know he's doing fine.. he sent me the song "My Gift to you" by Chemistry and told me to pretend it was him singing lol.. yeah, and then he gave me a little japanese lesson.. ^_^ I missed him so much. He said he has a laptop now so we'll get to speak more often which is great news ^^ Why is it that he always come on when I'm least expecting it? When I saw him come on I felt like my heart just stopped and then I felt my chest tighten and it got harder to breathe.. ^_^; I'm such a geek.. but I really do like him.. I hope he knows that. He means a lot to me, but I think we'll just keep our relationship on a friendly basis.. I admit, I *would* like more to come of it.. but I'm afraid of something bad happening between us. I never want to lose him.. but.. well, I'll stop ranting because I need to go wash my hair now. Ja!!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
07:25pm 04/03/2004
mood: busy
music: Blade Runner ~ Hitomi
*Good news, I made the spring play! Buttt.. Carrie aka the girl I hate, also made it -.- And also.. the thing I was praying to not happened.. happened. Jared is playing my husband. He's only about the hottest junior in school, not to mention funny, very sweet and a good actor.. which is why I'm scared. In the play.. we kiss.. many.. *many* times. What if he thinks I'm a bad kisser? What if I breathe too much? What if I'm distracted by his good looks and end up drooling all over his lips? XD Who knows.. Nick also made the play.. and he has to play Carries husband XD Nick was like "ew! I have to kiss THAT disgusting whore?! Uh! I am SO not doing this! Whatever, I'd much rather be kissing that hott piece of ass of a husband you have.. you know, if you decide to drop out of the play at the last minute I'll gladly take your place" lmao! What a dork. Today was so boring, I had a test in every single class. Tomorrow we're basically watching movies all day.. I think I did pretty good on my algebra test, it was just a bunch of stuff about Quadratic Equations like "x = -B +/- sq. root B squared - 4(a)(c)" kinda stuff. It all made a lot of sense to me because my friend Angie explained it all, she's like my algebra study buddy ^_^ Lots of teachers have trouble teaching me that stuff but with Ang it goes by so fast & easily. I have a lot of homework to do tonight too which sucks -.- I have 2 open periods tomorrow to work on homework also but I think I'd much rather spend that time reading.. I wish I had free time to just curl up with a book and read, uninterrupted all night long. I have three books I want to read so badly, 2 of them I've read already a long time ago but don't remember much so I'm re-reading them. I have "So Far from the Bamboo Grove" by Yoko Kawashima Watkins, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" by J.K. Rowling, and "Finding my Voice" by Mary G. Lee ^_^ Oh, actually four books. "Tree of Heaven" by R.C. Binstock.. still haven't had time to finish it but it's soo good. I know, I'm a geek. I love reading.. it's just a way for me to clear my mind and I feel like I'm in a whole other world. With school and everything I never have time to read except on weekends =( Usually during the summer I'll spend 4 days in a row, no sleeping, just reading non-stop ^_^ I have to go get some new books.. I've read almost every book in our library at home ^^; Well, I'll stop blabbing about books for now.. but now I have to go do homework. Jaaaaa!!!!!!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
07:06pm 03/03/2004
mood: nervous
music: Ruby Stars ~ Aiuchi Rina
*Yesterday was my audition for the spring play. It went great, the teacher said I'm a really funny girl, I deffinately have talent and that I have good projection.. then he asked if I knew how to play the piano or speak french and I said "Oui, Monsieur!" XD and he laughed and was like "Good, good.." eh.. I don't know. I'm a little doubtful that I got a part considering theres only 5 parts in the entire play. 2 guy parts and 3 girls. I don't really mind if I get a part or not because I hadn't had a chance to read the script until today and theres.. a lot.. of kissing and snuggling =/ I would feel a bit awkward kissing some guy for "practice" or something.. gosh.. what if I do get a part.. and what if I have to kiss my partner? Well, I would have to.. but what if they think I'm a sloppy kisser? Or bad? I can't kiss good! I'm scared @_@ Nick said to practice on a mirror but thats not the same! I barely even know HOW to kiss! This is horrible.. I sort of *do* want the part because itd be fun and also I want to shove it in Carries face because shes a bitch and full of herself so I just want to piss her off.. I don't knowww.. I highly doubt I got a part.. I think.. =/ and.. if I do get a part.. then EVERYONE will see how I kiss! What if they think I'm a skank? *sigh* Well, tomorrow we'll see if I got a part or not. We were supposed to have callbacks but he cancelled it because he changed his mind.. so tomorrow the cast will be posted.. *takes deep breath* well, I shouldn't be worrying. I bet I didn't even get a part so.. anyway, I'm going to go do homework now, I suppose.. Ja!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
08:37pm 26/02/2004
mood: depressed
music: A Better Day ~ JTL
*Forget everything I said in my last entry.. I meant it.. but.. it's just really rare that I ever er.. say that stuff. I'm still depressed though because today this morning I was listening to the radio and found out that Mrs. McFadden, one of my favorite teachers just died in a car accident.. I can't believe she's dead.. she was only 32 years old. She was a really nice lady and I used to talk to her all the time in the library and she'd sneak me candy, she seemed just like another one of my girl friends to me. Why do people have to die? My friend Whitney was crying today.. she was really excited because her mom was pregnant and she was going to have a little brother.. but her mom had a miscarriage so.. =/ I felt really bad and I didn't know what to do so I just hugged her and let her cry all over my shoulder.. am I insensitive? Tyler.. aka cute vietnamese boy from asian new year party, kept bugging me because supposedly I seemed really upset today.. well, I sort of was this morning.. I went in the bathroom and cried and Angie stayed with me and we were both in a stall and she was hugging me to get me to calm down because when I get frustrated/really depressed, I stop breathing all at once @_@ I was upset because I got in another fight with my parents this morning before I went to school, my mom was yelling at me and threatening to slap me because she thought I was ignoring her when I wasn't and ugh.. she needs to calm down.. and then in the car my dad went off at me calling me a lazy retarded stuck up selfish bi*** just because we left at 8:04 today instead of 8:00 like usual.. wow, I was 4 minutes late getting out of the fucking house. I still made it to school on time -.- I just feel like everyone is putting so much pressure on me lately and expecting me to do/be things I can't. Sorry but you know what? I'm not perfect. Wow, what a shocker! Laci, Jessica and all these girls at school tell me how perfect I am and I tell them I'm not but they refuse to listen.. god, they just don't get it. I'm sick of people just assuming they know me when they don't. I'm upset now too because I might not be going to South Korea this summer and I was supposed to last year but didn't get to, so this year I was supposed to but now I can't go again.. I want to go so bad.. I miss my family, I miss my old friends, I miss the smell there, the noisy busy city, the traffic, the crowded streets, the mountains, the food.. everything. I feel like I have big chains clamped to my ankles, keeping me back from doing the things I *really* want to do or being the person I *want* to be. God this sounds so corny but its true.. I'm sick of being here. There's *nothing* here for me except my friends.. whatever. Here I go, ranting again how miserable my life is when there are people who have it much worse than me. Screw it all.. I'm just being too self-absorbed.. I think I'm going to go to bed early.. Ja*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
07:13pm 25/02/2004
mood: depressed
music: Endless love ~ Jo Sung Mo
*Would you consider me pathetic for still liking someone after having not seen/spoken to them for 3 months? Why can't I just get over him? Let's call this guy "Josh" for now. Whenever I meet a guy.. I always compare him to Josh.. and nobody ever comes close to being nearly as good as Josh. I feel so stupid.. it's very rare that I actually feel this way about someone.. I know that sounds cold but.. it's true. Josh and I are just friends.. unfortunately.. and that's all we'll ever be.. because
1) Long distance = hard and painful
2) I don't want to hurt him
3) I don't want to end up using him
4) I know if we did date we'd start to get close and then I'd get scared and uncomfortable as always and probably push him away and just crush him
5) I want to stay as close with him as possible forever
6) He means too much to me and he's too good for me
7) I'm stupid and I always deny my emotions and I'm not a good girlfriend
*The list continues on but I think you get the idea. I know he likes me.. or at least -did- like me a lot.. what am I thinking? He's probably already forgotten about me by now and has a girlfriend.. and here I am, still thinking about him. I honestly think I've been flirting with other guys just to drown him out of my thoughts, to try and replace him.. I think about him *everyday* and it's driving me insane. Maybe I have mental problems.. or maybe it's just getting near that time of month.. I can't *really*.. -love-.. him.. can I? I'm not capable of loving. Well, not *real* love anyway.. so why is it I can't stop thinking about him? Why do I wait up late every night hoping for a chance to talk to him? I don't love him. I don't, can't and won't. What's so special about him anyway? I have absolutely no idea.. but then again I do.. there's a million things that come to mind.. I'm just going to end this here because I sound like a crazy person. I don't know what else to write about now though.. I think I'll just go watch a movie.. Ja*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
05:29pm 22/02/2004
mood: sore
music: Alone ~ Moon Hee Jun
*Well, last night was great, but now my entire body aches really bad @_@ I have some bruises on my legs and arms too from dancing XD I think I pulled a muscle in one of my legs when I just dropped to the floor doing the splits during one of the dances because it hurt really bad after that and still kind of does.. maybe I *should* have stretched first ^^; I did the splits in the air too.. holy jeezus thats painful and scary as hell o.o I learned to do it from Courtney since shes on the dance team.. god I thought I was going to land on my ass and be humiliated but I actually did it.. and I *RARELY* ever do that perfectly without falling on my butt! Maybe 4 or 5 times Ive been able to do it out of trying like 30 times.. and now my legs hurt like hell @_@ I need some cooling patches.. I suppose I won't be dancing anytime soon ~.~ I still have to finish my civics project thats due tomorrow which I've had 2 1/2 weeks to work on but I'm such a procrastinator and waited until today to start ^_^; I was looking through the St. Cloud Times and theres a picture of my friend Sam and her b/f Allen at the Evanescence concert at Hallembeck Hall =( I wanted to go so friggen bad! Theres also pictures of the Japanese dancers from the party last night ^_^ Sugoi-ness! but I'm going to go work on my project now, Ja!*
1 BlOsSoM ~*~ ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
*Asian New Year Festival*   
09:17pm 21/02/2004
mood: exhausted
music: Ah Uh ~ Lee Jung Hyun
*I just got home from the festival, it was GREAT!!!!! So much better than I ever expected! I saw my world language teacher there from 8th grade and we talked a bit. Rae and I pigged out on lots of asian food, we got free red shirts that say "Got Rice?" on the front written in chinese and on the back its in english and theres a big picture of a bowl of rice and chopsticks XD *huggles her new shirt* ahh.. it turned out we were supposed to be there at 4 actually so Rae (the actual thing started at 6 and goes to 9 p.m.) and I left earlier, we got there and I showed the girls some moves and we put it together, there was 5 of us in all.. it was SO awesome! I thought it would be crap but it was amazing! I was getting ready for our performance when Rae and I spotted this vietnamese boy that goes to our school, doing the dragon dance.. I was COMPLETELY fine! Until I saw him and then I got so nervous! when we were dancing he was up front watching me! And I had to be the one dancing in front of all the girls so they could follow me and not mess up *burries face in hands* I felt so retarded. Ehh.. I got through it though, no mistakes either. We danced to Wa by Lee Jung Hyun, Bu Dam (sentimental club mix) by Baek Ji Young and Bahn by Lee Jung Hyun ^__^ I got to twirl wooden sticks and use fans, yayy XD After the performance, I was walking in the hall with Rae and sweating so bad (we had to do all 3 in a ROW!) and the vietnamese boy came up and saw me and put his hand on my back and was like "that was awesome! you go to my school right? I seen you there before, that was cool. Did you put that together yourself?" Me:"*trying not to faint and wipes sweat off forehead* Yeah.. ^_^; you did great too.. with the dragon head and everything.. you know the wobbly dance- I mean the dragon dance" Oh god.. wobbly dance? IM SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!! I was like a melting ice cube in the desert too! Oh well, he didn't seem to notice/care, we had a nice talk and hung out for a while ^^; Kathy said out of all the performances tonight, we were one of the best ones and we got one of the loudest best applauses or whatever theyre called when people cheer and clap hands. There was this chinese girl who sang, she was SOO good! I wish I could sing like her. They had some black people rapping o.O (I didnt mean that in a racist way either btw) but.. I dont know what rapping really has to do with asian culture.. *shrugs* I thought the japanese dancers were really good. They performed a traditional drum dance from Okinawa.. it made me think of Kin o.o My whole body aches so bad.. I felt a little insulted consider in the program they spelled Korea as "Corea" -.- and they labeled it in MONGOLIA! Dipshits.. and the bulgogi they had did not even deserve to be called bulgogi! It was more like hamburger meat with soy sauce.. de-skost-ing (disgusting)! Oh well, I complain too much so.. Anyway, I'm off to get something to eat.. again *cough* real bulgogi *cough* and take a shower. JAAAAAAA!!!!!!*
6 BlOsSoMs ~*~ ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~
01:18pm 21/02/2004
mood: cheerful
music: My Girl ~ Kang Sung Hoon
*Right now I'm getting ready for tonight.. even though I don't have to be there until 5 ^_^; But, I have a lot to do like pack my stuff, eat, and, well I called Rae and we did 3-way with Michelle, one of the girls we're dancing with and I told them my idea for our dance performance and they were like "oh my god! thats great!" so I guess Michelles calling Crystal and telling her that. Instead of traditional dancing, since none of us are that well with it, I'm bringing in korean dance music and we're going to mix fan dancing with our own dance stuff XD I swear, I have the dumbest ideas but.. it's better than attempting to do the traditional dance and falling flat on your face or looking like a dummie. I think theres now another girl who's going to be dancing with us, that's what Michelle said *shrugs* Good news, my cold has gotten better ^_^ I still have a bit of a stuffy nose and coughing but, it's not as bad as before. I sooo hope tonight goes alright.. I wonder what kind of food they'll have o.O Yeah, we still need to put together our dances and I'm sitting here thinking about food XD I have to go call Rae though so Ja!*
ChErRy BlOsSoMz ArE fAlLiNg ~*~