| Snow and Dinner Parties | |||
| 04:41pm 24/12/2004 | |||
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The snow is really pretty here. I am looking out my window (which faces east) and the sun is setting but what I see is the moon up over the snow in a blue purple teal sky. The evergreens are really dark looking as the last of the golden light is slipping away. Its really really beautiful. Dinner didn't work out and I'm invited to go somewhere, so I have to take a shower and then get ready to go. I wish Tina were feeling better though. I want her to go too. :-( it will be strange to be somewhere without her. Hi tina! Feel better soon! Kalie |
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| Irksome Voids | ||||
| 07:58pm 21/12/2004 | ||||
My grandma has been such a huge part of my life, and now that its changing, I don't really know what to do. Her room was right next to mine, and now that room is empty, quiet, unstirring. Which all makes me feel a lot like that room. I know it will get better, but for now, it's just odd and irksome. Still haven't gotten a hold of who I wanted to invite to dinner, mostly because I missed meeting tonight because of the granny situation. I guess it'll wait until tomorrow. I am going to go write some more of my story for now, Goodnight, Kalie |
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drained| Dinner and Work in an Ice Box | ||||
| 07:56pm 20/12/2004 | ||||
I have decided after a lot of thinking, to continue to try e-mailing for a while. Who knows, things change, maybe things will work out and I can get a friend out of this? Or actually help a friend is more like it. I don't know... Things are just strange for me lately. The heater wasn't working at work today, I've been cold all day between going out to the bus stop 5 times for 10-15 minutes at a time in -8 degrees F all the way up to about 10 degrees F. The building was not even 50 for the first three hours. Then there was no hot water at home for my shower, so I was freezing and then took a cool shower instead of a hot one. Oh well, c'est la vie right? I printed the Hana Kimi pic I sent in an e-mail as a test print, I thought it would look good on the upper right corner of my computer moniter, and I was right. It's perfect, and very me. Now if I could only find the screensaver to suit me then I would be happy. I'm still looking though! I haven't given up hope yet. Well, I called them again, no answer, so I will try tomorrow or something to invite them to dinner. That's all for now, I'll write more some other time, maybe even later today if I'm still bored. Later, Kalie |
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indifferent| My Computer | ||||
| 10:46pm 17/12/2004 | ||||
I was really looking forward to seeing this movie that just came out, and my friend promised we would see it together and well, she went without me. It sucks because I have been budgeting so hard this week to afford to go, and for nothing. The last time she promised to go to see a movie with me was when my aunt died, so I stayed home and cleaned the house because we had company coming in, and she went to see that too. The movie was the only thing I really had to look forward to this weekend because the quickbuild was canceled, now I don't even have that. I feel very alone at the moment. I guess that is really all I have to say for now, other than I typed this once already and right before i could hit the "Update Journal" button, i got booted off AOL. Sigh... Just a testament to the week I've been having. I also discovered that it may be a very long time until I get an e-mail, if ever. It just seems so unfair, call me a baby, or a spoiled brat if you must, but lately, this last month, life has been very unfair. Every good thing has been marred by something bad, even my publications of two poems, my 21st b-day, (the birthday in my profile is not the right one), just everything. But I get the computer, so when I am up alone at night, I can type my book without interruption, I can write poetry without someone reading it over my shoulder, and I don't have to worry about someone coming along and reading my mail. Bye Kari |
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pessimistic| Death. Poetry, and Mail | ||||
| 07:06pm 28/11/2004 | ||||
Someone very smart once told me (and I agree) "I would rather see them go, if they have to, before the system ends so that they can have a resurrection hope instead of have them die at the end." That comment has been floating around in my mind a lot. It was said by someone who worked with a lot of worldly people and has a family situation very similar to mine, where your immediate family is pretty much it. Some good did come out of it though I guess, my dad got a lot of encouragement from the brothers and sisters which is great. Maybe sometime he will come into the truth as well I hope... On to some good news. I got an e-mail from some people who published one of my poems in a book, and they requested another poem, so I sent them one that I was pretty proud of at least, and it goes to print on Dec 27th (or around that day). This is very cool to me. I am not making any money off of it, but the poem is copyrighted in my name, and so they will have to ask permission to use it at any time. The book that it is going into is a book of poetry from a lot of different writers, and its pretty exciting for me. I turn 21 in a week which will be a relief. I don't enjoy drinking that much, but it will be nice to get the respect that will go along with it. Not that anyone is going to pay any attention or even notice. At least people will stop treating me like a child. It really irritates me that there are people out there that think of you as an immature git just because you aren't old enough to drink. Is alcohol that important? It shouldn't be! Grrrrr..... Once you are 18, you are an adult and should be treated like one if you act like one. I have decided that since I never got mail back from the person I e-mailed, maybe I will try once more. It is a very unsettling thing to not know anything or what is going on with your friends. So, another e-mail will be my next task I think. Then, I will probably update my poetry page, or maybe that first... I know, procrastinator... sigh.. That is really all I have for now, I am going to find my poems... And get rid of these butterflies in my stomach... Goodnight, Kari |
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| Dragostea Din Tei | ||||
| 10:17pm 04/11/2004 | ||||
You have no idea how happy this song makes me! This song has completely launched me out of the worst most foul mood that has been hanging over me all week. It's just one of those songs that will put you in a great mood, even after a week like mine! Music has such a strong pull for me and I think its because of my strong love for music that the right song will heal almost any wound. Music is so soothing, like a really emotional hug that can at the same time make you either really sad, or tremendiously happy! I'm weird, I know... Still no e-mail. You who are close to me know about this. I sent an e-mail to someone recently, well okay, a couple weeks ago, and still no response... sigh... No this is not one of those e-mails that really hold anything important, just a "saying hi" sort of e-mail. But because of who it is to, I would really love to hear back. It is such a tease to hear "You've got mail!" when I sign on and all I see is spam, not that which I seek. What is it with people who never respond?! I am sure that this person will respond though, unlike past occurances. Though, this is a very different type of e-mail than that one. hmm.... I wonder what would happen if I sent one of those? hmm.... You're right, not gonna happen and I know it too. So, if you are reading this, (this goes out to each and everyone of you!) CHECK YOUR MAIL!!!! Maybe you are the person that is soposed to mail me back! though it's highly unlikely.... Besides, maybe someone else is waiting for you to respond to them! ALWAYS REPLY TO YOUR FRIENDS!!!!! Well, now that that's all out there.... Time for the song! Yea! Kudos to Romanians!! (actually that is for real, every Romanian I have ever met has been very kind and fun!) and Kudos to quickuilds, tina for being my best friend, and bev for being a great friend and introducing me to this song, and kudos for just about anyone else out there too! Ya'll are great! <--I have suddenly become facinated with saying ya'll all of a sudden. It has taken a great deal of restraing to limit myself to one ya'll in this entry today.... Yup, still weird, I know I am... Bye everyone out there in this beautiful world!!!!!!!!!!! Kalie |
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ecstatic| Double Double!!! | ||||
| 10:28pm 03/11/2004 | ||||
I don't know if I have mentioned that I go to quickbuilds on here or not. They are so much fun! I get to be on the wallpaper crew, which is fun because you can have paste fights and you really get to change the look of the hall because it looks so much closer to finished when we get the paper and border up. The brothers and sister are so sweet! Its like being at a really loud messy assembly, mostly because of how encouraging it is! I got my photography project on its way to being done. It's "A Day in the Field Ministry" which my teacher thinks is a brilliant idea. It was really fun to take the pictures. We staged some things and some are for real too. I think I have a new song tied for my first place, its the number one song in Germany and i don't know what it is called. it is SO AWESOME!!! yahee-yahee! yahee-yah-hah, yahee-yah-hah-yahee yah-ha ha!!! |
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| Old and New | ||||
| 10:51pm 25/10/2004 | ||||
So my kids (at daycare) were telling me what they would be for Halloween and how excited they were, and let me just say, they are always very curious about my personal life. They are always asking me about my friends, if I am married, what do I do when I am not at daycare, etc... So it really didn't surprise me that they were asking me "Miss Kari, what are you going to be for Halloween?" Thus came my attempts at an explanation of why I don't dress up for Halloween. At first I just said I wasn't going to dress up at all, then they wanted to know why, so I said it was because I just didn't celebrate that holiday. Why? Because I just didn't celebrate any holidays. Why not? Because sometimes, and you'll all understand when you're older, people don't celebrate holidays. Some people even celebrate different holidays than they do. It just depends on what you believe. Well this opened a whole new realm of questions that if I didn't answer very carefully, would get me fired so fast it would make my head spin. "Do you believe in the tooth fairy?" This question I was not ready for. I looked at the ten or so little faces staring at me expectantly, knowing full well that at least three of them still firmly believed in the tooth fairy and that a couple of others were only just starting to doubt her existance. I am not allowed to share my beliefs with the children really, or even give them an answer to that kind of question. I had to do something, "Well" i said, "What do you think? Do you think there is a tooth fairy?" and they all went into tooth fairy stories that they had. Just when I thought I was out of the woods, Tyler asks me, "Do you even celebrate Christmas? Or thanks giving?" To which I calmly answered "No Ty, I really don't." "But Miss Kari! That's really bad! You're gonna-" and that is when another teacher came to my rescue. "Tyler, that isnt very nice, leave Miss Kari alone! There are a lot of people who celebrate things different than you." I forget that these aren't my three year olds, i am working with older kids now (5 to about 9) and they are beginning to get curious about all that stuff... I mean, I only came into the truth when I was 8 so I totally understand their questions. Nothing new to report on the Spain front so far. Tina and I are probably going to start working three hours a weekend and save for a month trip to Europe. I feel like all I'll be doing is traveling for a while. It's nice, but I worry about leaving my parents and grandma. I told her about Spain the other day, she was excited, but I don't think the reality has hit that if I go there, I won't be here with her. Not to mention, my best friend really doesn't want me to go. I can understand her point. I only hope that I can get her to England for that time. She would really love it, it would be like the experience of a lifetime for her. I really hope that it works out. We are going to have fun next weekend though! Tina is having a ton of people (mostly the younger kids) over to her house to watch the newest Young People Ask video from the society. We are going to get pizza and pop for everyone, and it will just be really nice to have such an encouraging time with those that need it. I also may have a couple of bible studies going in not too long! I was really fortunate to make it out three days in a row last week and it really paid off! I am so excited! That's about all I have for this journal today. I was going to write a letter, but I have lost motivation. Ah, I wouldn't have sent it anyway. Goodnight! Kalie |
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exhausted| Over and Over Again | ||||
| 09:21pm 18/10/2004 | ||||
Is Oviedo and all the focus that I have on it right now just a distraction for me? I hope not. I have wanted to do a study abroad for years now. I have the right motive and that is to go there, learn spanish even more, gain precious cultural experiences, and also though, to leave this place behind for six months or so too. This other thing sort of brings me down sometimes. I wish things had happened differently. Sometimes being the quiet person that I am, I don't speak up for things. I did however leave it up to Jehovah, and I am sure he let things be for a reason. As humans though, we sometimes fail to see why things work the way they do until much later. I think this is the case with me. I thought that I would see right away, but I didn't. I still don't. Every time that something happens that brings me down, I think of two things, neither of which I can tell you. I am doing something else just for me, did I tell you? I am going back on the diet. I feel like I can do anything lately, (and also like I can do nothing too) so I figure its a good time to get down to my goal weight, which I never quite reached. I like that I can WORK to lose my weight. I don't like things to be just given to me, so something like this shows my self dicipline. I can do it without someone just handing a solution to me. By the time we go to New York City, I will look really nice in my formal dress I hope. That's right, New York City. I promised Tina two years ago that we would go to NYC since all her other friends promised and never came through. I want to do that for her. I know that she is about as psyched about NYC as I am about Oviedo or Madrid, so I am glad to do something that will make her so happy. We will be going this winter. I saw my cousins recently, okay, yesterday and the day before. I just love my family. They are really great people. I just wish things were a little more harmonious. Amy and Melanie, Laura and I are all going to an apple cider mill this weekend on Saturday. That should be fun. I don't have little brothers or sisters, so I sort of adopt my cousins sometimes. I think they like it. I hope so! So, that's life right now. Nothing to chaotic, nothing too depressing to speak of. My book is comming along pretty good. It still doesn't have a title. I have about 13 pages typed (not double spaced) so far, and I have a lot to add to it. I guess you could say that things are looking up for me right now. I think that Jehovah must be happy with me, because he really does bless me. Work has been getting a lot better. I have been getting more hours, and the kids like me. I think I will be getting my raises soon too. I hope so! Also, this Spanish class is so fun to teach. It is so encouraging for me. I think its the pioneer spirit that is really doing such wonders on those mondays. There are only two more classes left. I will hate to stop them. I wish everyone would continue. I hope they do. It's great! I guess there is only one thing I could ask for right now. Okay, because I am human, there would probably be more than one thing I could ask for. But so far, I can only think of one additional thing. Maybe Spain would put me closer to one of them. I won't say if I mean closer metaphorically or geographically, you'd have to be able to figure it out on your own. Well, I'm out for now. I want to keep writing, but I just can't seem to think of many more things to talk about that are worth mentioning or that I would put here. Thanks for listening, Kari Ann |
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| Oviedo, Spain | ||||
| 11:48pm 05/10/2004 | ||||
I was online yesterday and today for hours at a time, and have managed to find a trip to Oviedo which is in the providence/state of Asurias in Spain. I would be there for the winter semester (not this winter but the next semester after that) and I want to try to stay with a witness family if I can arrange it. I really think that I could use this experience a lot. It will be weird to do something like this all alone though. I talked to Thomas a lot about what it would be like to go overseas for an extended amount of time (after all he would know wouldn't he?) and found out a lot about it, which sort of made me even more excited to do it. It would be cool to be a foriegner and be able to be shown around by interesting people. I worry about my confidence in my language skills though. I will have to take some sort of refresher course in Spanish before I go, since it has been so long since my last one. (Sad note about Thomas, he is going back to Austria tomorrow... I hate it when friends leave!!) I have been looking at pictures of this place (Oviedo) and it is positively breathtaking. Old buildings that have been around since before the Romantic Period, and really green mountains (they call this part of Spain the Cintron Verde or Green Belt). The school I would be attending looks practically like a palace, with stone pillars and archways everywhere. I can't believe it! I only hope it all works out for the best! Ah, so much to say and so little time left for me. I am getting up early in the morning tomorrow (like I do every morning) because I start work at 6:30 am... its a killer, I know... Goodnight friend, Kari |
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confused| Hana-Kimi and Ann Arbor | ||||
| 09:54pm 17/09/2004 | ||||
We went to Ann Arbor, and that was awesome. Amy introduced me to an new manga: Hana Kimi, I have already read all three volumes twice, and I really want to find more but cannot! Help! I have to know what happens! We also went to this really cool anime shop there with a funny name I can never remember, and we wandered around Urban Outfitters, Borders, etc... I think they had fun, I know I did! I guess that Tina is comming home sometime this weekend, which will be cool, no more worrying about storms and hurricanes and such, so that will be nice. Anyway, I have just been working (my hours are cut down from when I hired on, so I get less $ which is sad). I found out my cousin's wedding is canceled, so I am sad and worried for them, hope everything is going to be okay with them. I have been working on my book a little more. A month ago or so I did a TON of research on mental institutions (specifically the Clinton Valley Center) and so that is comming along slowly but surely. I am still working on the end of the second chapter, but today I came up with several new ideas for the story, so I need to go back and change a lot of things. I think it will help the story out a lot. I was not happy with the way it was unfolding. It lacked background and detail, something I figured out how to fix today in my three hour torture session that is Music History: The Rock Era... stupid humanities requirement... jeez! We had a baby shower last weekend and hospitality for Brother Kennedy on the West side, and that went really well. It is always enjoyable spending time with the brothers and sisters, even though we have the smallest bookstudy in the whole kingdom hall. I also went to a quick build a few weeks ago (actually about a month ago) and got to hang out with the Waterford hall (YEA!!!!) interesting things happened, but there are a couple of people who don't need to know all about that. I don't want any misconceptions going around. So sorry for no details... That is about all for now, nothing too new going on. I'll write more later I guess. I need to sign off because I think the computer is going to die soon here... Bye! Kalie |
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optimistic| Art and his Beats and Eats | ||||
| 09:14pm 06/09/2004 | ||||
Is an IQ of 127 very high? I got that score on an IQ test and I was wondering? Did my IQ just drop because I don't know what a good IQ is? Hmm... that is an interesting thought... My friend Tina is going down to florida to battle out the hurricains and I am really scared about it. I really hope that she will be fine and that Kev will too. That's all I have for tonight I guess, good night friend... Kalie |
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awake| Forever home? | ||||
| 08:59pm 31/08/2004 | ||||
Sometimes I get very distressed because I can remember a time when I would always fight for what was right. No matter what it took, I always did the "nice thing" for people, gave them a chance when they needed it, gave them a friend when they were lonely. I have here an opportunity to try to help someone who may really benefit from it, but because of the "Rumor Mill" that we have around here, I cannot risk doing it. You see, there are people out there that I was never ready for. I always thought that somewhere, deep inside, there was good in all people. So I always gave (and still give) everyone the benefit of the doubt, until that person proves me wrong. I have learned in the past year however that I was wrong, very wrong. There are the very few people out there who are rotten to the core. You can be nice to them, and every time you trust them, or just believe that they are really a good person deep down there somewhere, you will find yourself being stabbed in the back. You will have aspursions cast upon your character, and lies and betrayls never committed, will be accredited to you. You will get dragged into a situation, interrogated, and your family in distress because of one person's mouth. One psycho will ruin it for everyone. And you know the odd thing? The other thing that I always firmly believed in was justice. All wrongs will be righted. Each person will have to pay or answer for their actions. I started to believe that perhaps for some, they may not have to pay. It destroyed me. Two principles I have held so strongly in my character, my two pillars for understanding the world and people in general, were proved wrong, and I got hurt. I no longer trusted people like I did before. I was negative, and miserable. Now however, one of my principles has been recently restored. Justice. Someone stabbing me so hard and taking me away from myself is now paying. Beginning to pay. Oddly enough, I find myself pittying them occassionally. Why do I pity someone who has been so hurtful to so many? I don't know. Do I think that deep down, because my justice principle has been proved right, that maybe there is good in all? I'm not sure. With this internal battle, one can see why my blurty may have been missing words and thoughts lately. I am always hesitant to write here though, and my thoughts are always to be censored because I know that anyone I don't know or don't trust may find and read this at anytime. My thought is: let them. You can't do anything to me. If anyone finds this and reads this, or sees me with maliciousness in mind, they need to know that my little self confidence is returning, and that they can see that they aren't going to be able to touch me. So well protected am I by Jehovah. It doesn't have to be through my blurty that they try to get to me, it can be in anyway. I am going to continue to help people as much as I can in thr future. I just, at this moment in my life, cannot handle another attact that awful. I will let this person slide away, and pray that someone else does the saving. I have nine other people to help right now, and I am stretched as far as I can be with a new job, and full time school, not to mention meetings, studying, and field service. So my plea out there for anyone who has good inside them is to help anyone you see who may be depressed, lost, downtrodden, or just lonely. If you see them, help them. Not for what you can get out of it, but for what they can benefit from. Maybe if everyone does this, this one person who is going to go unaided mostly by me, maybe they will be helped. I hope. The other thing I wanted to write about I don't have much time for. It is simply this: I may be leaving in a while. Going away for an uncertain amount of time, and though I will fight it and try to prevent it from happening, I may not be able to stay. I hope I win out on this one. This is something that I need. Even though sometimes I wish for nothing more than to leave. |
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thoughtful| C'est la vie | ||||
| 10:47pm 08/07/2004 | ||||
Other things are bothering me too. I know I will miss those kids, they mean everything to me, they are like my own. I complain because they are difficult, but really, I would adopt almost any of them. I will miss them SO much! I can't bear to think about it too deeply. Knowing that I'll never hold certain babies, teach certain three and four year olds... I won't see them move on and grow, I won't watch them make their first memories of school and meet their first friends... Some of them I worry about because it has taken me a year to get through to them and work some of their big problems out, everything from speech to abuse at home, and all the things in between. I finally have a job where I feel needed and like I matter to someone, and I am losing that. I am losing all my kids... And its because of poor business management... It's tough living here sometimes. I guess everyone says that about living at home with their families, but I agree. It is tough. It's tough to be around my grandma sometimes. Watching my childhood hero digress to childhood herself. She would never have wanted to be this way. Before her last stroke, she was just terrified that she would end up like her mother, and have alsheimers and dimensia... I am glad she can't see the way she is. I see slight hints of the person she used to be. Every once in a while. A shadow of an old smile flickering across her face, or a look in her eye, but as the months and years go on, these are less frequent. With these two things, and some others, I feel sort of like a defeated person. I am not the person I set out to be years ago. I have slowly lost a lot of myself over the years. Now I find that with the way some of the medication I take effects me, it takes the joy out of me. It makes me mellow, and weak, and unhappy. That plus the feelings I keep getting from seeing friends change are REALLY bothering me. You get too secure in the knowledge that you know someone I guess, and when they change a ton of things all of a sudden about themselves, you just aren't ready for it and it really bothers you. You don't know how things stand, or really who they are anymore. Yet you know that they are right when they say "you can't stop change" or "you can't stop time" but what if they made you think that they would always be the same person, if they swore it to you? Well, you can't make them live up to that promise either now can you? They are in control of themselves, and that means that they sort of control a bigger than average part of the friendship. That will set the tone for the friendship and make a new set of rules to play by, and if you want to keep the friendship, well then you have to follow along with that. I don't know how I got that far off topic, it must be the tiredness from the day. I organized my closet today. It took a few hours. I got rid of so much junk! You wouldn't believe how much I off-loaded! Two huge and by "huge" i mean HUGE garbage bags packed full of clothes and other things. It was NUTS! I also went job hunting but saw no promising prospects (not really surprised, that is how its been for weeks now). I took grandma out last night to a movie, she was happy to get out, and I was happy to take her. It makes me appreciate her more than ever, having just read that article during the watchtower study on Sunday about how to care for the elderly. I really wish I could be even better to her than the best I can be. She was such an amazing woman. I used to call her almost every other day, and we would talk for an hour or two at a time. She was without either of us knowing it, more than a best friend to me for those years before she had to move in. She was there for me unfalteringly, and I was for her too. I swore to her that no matter what happened, I would ALWAYS do the best I could for her. And I wouldn't let her go to a home without a fight. That part of the bargain I have kept well though she has changed so much, I worry that she will end up in one eventually. I have to go so I can clear some of all of these things out of my head in order to sleep tonight. It's too heavy to go to sleep with. I'll talk more (and hopefully happy things) later. Good night friend, Kalie |
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| June 12th and Buddy | ||||
| 12:38am 17/06/2004 | ||||
Mom and I went back to the convention and made the second half, but I really didn't get much out of it. I broke down crying a few times more, and reality kept hitting me so hard that I felt lost so many times. It was hard to be able to sing joyful songs so soon after something so tragic. So, we have yet another depressing entry into my journal. Kari |
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crushed| Refusal to be Censored by Politicians | ||||
| 12:18pm 08/06/2004 | ||||
I realize that I have been really trying to keep my journal very upbeat, and I rarely just sit and rant and rave in it, so I am sorry if you are depressed by reading this, but now that its out, maybe I can stop screaming in my mind. I hate to see injustice, and in a world like ours, it seems to run rampant. The positive thing about it all is that Jehovah sees how hard people who serve him try to do the right thing, and when they are put down for doing so, he will refresh them in the new system. We will all be happy and there will be no more politics. Heart conditions will be changed, and the driving force behind people's negativity will be gone forever. With our world the way it is, it makes me look forward to a long future with Jehovah, always staying by him without any more pain, persecution, discouragement, or sickness. Who wouldn't want that time to come? Theses were my thoughts, I hope they weren't too negative for anyone out there. Kalie |
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| Maintaining a Complete Heart | ||||
| 10:40pm 11/04/2004 | ||||
The whole assembly theme was completely perfectly timed in its arrival. Everyone I spoke with all mentioned that it was just what we all needed. It was so encouraging and uplifting, that you couldn't help but smile the whole time. It was also nice to see some of the friends from the circuit that I don't get to see all the time, and that was very cool. I got to meet some new people that seemed...not really for me... but spoke to some others and caught up on things. All in all, this was one of the best circuit assemblies that I think I have ever been too (but I say that about most assemblies in general, circuit, district, or international). Tina an Beverly get to go on their photography trip, though I do not get to accompany them. I am left with a sort of empty feeling, knowing how left out I will feel in a few weeks, and how much they will be talking about it in front of me, making me feel it even more, though they don't mean to. That's life though. I am trying to find a way to think about what I am going to do that weekend. I want to do something as fun as they do so I will have stories for them when they get back, so the feeling of missing each other is a little more evened out. Is that wrong? I just don't want to be depressed. I hate being down all the time about certain things, and I can't handle being lonely for three days while my best friend and her close friend are out bonding without moi! Well, I will have to figure out something to keep busy. That is really all I have to say. I am feeling pretty good again, physically that is. That is a plus, still having some problems here and there, but life is getting better. Kudos to awesome circuit assemblies! Kalie Oh yeah! I almost forgot! I saw that movie The Prince and Me with Tina the other night, it was GREAT one of my new favorites, I highly recommend it to everyone! |
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hopeful| Quick Hello | ||||
| 01:17am 07/04/2004 | ||||
You know what is so tough about dieting? The fact that cravings creep up on you like crazy! I mean, I have been craving pizza ever since I started this diet (low carb) and I even had a cheat day! Jeez! I don't know, sometimes it is so hard to keep the self discipline up... Lost twenty five pounds though... that is a definate plus. Anyway, it is time to go to bed, I feel like I am going to end up cranky and I really don't want that. Good night friend!! Kalie Kudos to pain pills! But only when they work! |
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recumbent| Mondays are Crazy | ||||
| 10:51pm 05/04/2004 | ||||
Still really sore, I guess it will go away eventually. I can now take two of those tylenol 3's without too much trouble and it helps a lot with the pain. I am due for more, but am trying not to take them I am proud of myself today. Since I had to be driving a lot today, I only took 2 pills today and that was right before my english class because I wouldn't have to drive for at least three hours. So I have been tough (grrr!!!) today and just been living with the pain. I am a buff chick!!! Yup yup!! I hope that Tina is getting better, she seemed a little healthier on the phone which was great. Morest! hehe I am going to go lay down. I have been sitting up far too much today and have been typing a lot. Goodnight world! Kalie Oh yeah, one more thing, I can't wait for the next girls night out!!!! Yea!! |
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| I Hate Pain | ||||
| 11:53pm 04/04/2004 | ||||
I worry though. It seems to me that the pain should be gone. It happened while I was dancing with my friends on friday night, and it is now sunday and I am still really sore. Oh well, I will just have to wait until I can ask my real doctor what is going on in my system, why I am in so much pain. Today was the memorial and it was great! I stayed off the pain pills this afternoon so I wouldn't space out during the occassion, and it was a wise move. Painful but wise... I got to see a lot of people that I hadn't seen in a while, which was great. I am always happy to see them come when they do, its so encouraging. Nicole didn't show up though, a girl I work with. She had said she may, but never did. Also June didn't show either, who was an old family friend, but maybe they will come next time! We have a whole year now to remind them and work on them :-) I hope my best friend is feeling better! I know you are super sick hon, and I hope that you are either well or taking something to feel better. I have three new poems to write on my poetry blurty tonight, but I am getting sore sitting here, I may have to just go lay down again. I hope everyone enjoyed the memorial as much as I did! Oh wait! I forgot to mention that grandma almost spilled the wine! She dropped her Bible off her lap and went to grab it while letting go of the wine glass, but I grabbed it just in time to prevent ultimate disaster. Whew! And grandma keeps us on our toes yet again! It was pretty funny b/c she whispered super loud (she is hard of hearing) "WE ALMOST LOST IT!" like it was partly my fault... hehe Kudos to crazy grandmas! That is all I am going to write tonight, bye friend, Kalie |
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sore|
kalie |
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