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Thursday, September 11th, 2003
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12:11a
I'm going on a ...vacation-thing from Thursday through until Sunday.
OK!
current mood:  complacent
current music: Presidents of the United States of America - Kitty (comment on this)
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12:49p
OK! I'm in Rhode Island, sitting around in the office of a little company called Club Earth.
(Some guy's on vacation, so I'm using his computer, yay?)
I had to get up at 4 in the morning. Because Mum's insane. (Our flight wasn't until 7:30... *__*)
So yeah... flight on September 11th. ... In the morning. ... From the Baltimore-Washington Int'l Airport. I'm not a paranoid person, especially not about stuff like terrorist attacks (OMG!!11eleven) but... yeah, our flight path went past Baltimore, Atlantic City, and (get this!) Long Island. Mmm, fun. Sorry, but I think anyone would be a litte worried with something like that, right? (Especially since it was around the same time as the 2001 attacks... haha, so comforting!)
We were asked to observe a moment of silence on the plane as we passed NYC. OK, yeah, that's cool, I'm good with that.
Plane landed not too long after. Also cool with that. So, we were heading out. You know how you have to exit past the security check-point, but not actually go through?
We got there just as a brief memorial service started. Y'know, at around the same time the first plane was rammed into a fuckin' building. Yay! Haha, something about having been flying at the same damn time just seems weird.
I don't know, it was a touching memorial--more than I think it would have been at school or whatever. We could see one of the older workers quietly wiping at his eyes, trying not to be noticed, and I think that just made it feel all the more important.
At school, I always get this sort of feeling--"why the fuck are we doing this? We have better things to be doing, so just shut the hell up and let us work!" I don't want to be respectful in that environment. School's practically a breeding ground for rebellion, and no matter how much I used to say, "Oh, no, I'm not rebellious, I just like to follow the rules and be a good kid," ... there's some instances where I just don't. I have strong political views, and if something opposes them, then goddammit, I'm going to get angry.
Not a lot of things get me angry, really. I can tolerate stupidity, I can tolerate people mocking me (for the most part), and ... in general, I'm pretty much willing to live and let live. (Of course, I also like to make fun of everything and anything, but hey, y'know! It wouldn't be any fun if I didn't!)
Hm... I'm bored, and gonna be here for a while, so I think I'll go into something:
I don't like the Pledge of Allegiance. As time's gone by, I've started disliking it more and more.
Maybe it's because I had a kind of non-traditional start in school. From what I can gather, most kids are taught to say the Pledge from kindergarten, and they go on saying it every day through and including senior year in high school.
I didn't have to start saying it until I was in fourth grade.
I didn't start minding it until seventh.
I didn't really have to say it a lot in fourth grade (hell, we said it so infrequently, it took me a while to memorize it. Yeah, I didn't know it). Didn't have to much in fifth grade, either, and in sixth grade... well, we only said it when our homeroom teacher was in the room during announcements, and he was usually out of the room. Yeaaaah.
Seventh grade? Had to stand up for it, had to put your hand on your heart, no matter what. If the teacher caught you not standing, or without your hand on your heart? Well, she wouldn't punish you, but you'd get a good firm yelling at.
And that was the first time I actually thought about it.
What's the point?
I love this country. It's fucked up, I don't like what the government's doing, but... hell, it's such a big country, and there's so much variety here, it's incredible. There's people from all over, from all different walks of life, with all different kinds of dreams. Yeah, I'd rather live in Canada, but that's more because of the government (and the fact that Canada kicks ass!) than because I dislike this country in any way.
I'm loyal to the country itself.
I'm not loyal to a fucking piece of cloth, because that's just what it is: a piece of cloth. Why, exactly, do I owe any loyalty to a flag? Yeah, sure, I'm also supposedly pledging allegiance to "the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God" and so on, but ... well, I'm not that loyal to the replubic it stands for, either.
(Really, I had nothing against the government until King George the Second came into power. Sure, Clinton was a cheating mofo, but at least he wasn't a psychopathic war-mongering fool who could barely speak English. (NO, I'M NOT AT ALL OPINIONATED!))
I don't want to say the pledge.
I don't say the pledge.
And I don't get why people get mad for me not wanting to say it.
Honestly, my teachers get pissed off before ever listening to my views on it. In fact, I don't think a single one has asked why I don't say the pledge--they just said, "No, you have to stand up and put your hand on your heart, and you have to look at the flag. If you don't, I'll have to call your parents."
(Mum's in complete support of my views, by the way. She may not share them completely, but she was willing to listen to me, and she supports that I have my own opinion on it. So, er, threatening to "call my parents"? Useless!
/no1)
Maybe they could try listening, instead of instantly assuming that I'm just being contrary?
I've got reasons, damn it.
I have reasons for almost everything I do. (I don't have a reason for why I like to draw, but I don't think I need one, do I?)
I've got reasons, but instead of asking me what they are, people just assume, "Oh, hey, she's a teenager. She's just trying to be rebellious and get attention by being different."
Cheeeeee.
I like my teachers, really! I tend to get along with adults better than people my own age. This was more true a couple years ago, when my 'own age' was 12. ... Actually, I tend to get along better (for the mose part) with people 15 and up, and I always have. (so there's more people I get along with now ^^) There's exceptions, yeah, but I don't like little kids much. I can take people a couple years younger than me, but... yeah. I like adults better.
Or, let's put it this way--I like mature, intelligent people. I have a thing for just listening to smart people talk. It's just plain -fun,- you know? I may not be all that smart myself, but damned if I don't like listening to sane, rational conversation from mature people! It's especially cool to listen to people with different views than me, and... yeah.
(It's one of the reasons I like Chirara so much ^^ our views are usually pretty much the same, but she can word things so much better than me ♥ )
I like listening to people, and (off-line, at least) I don't talk a lot. But when I do, I expect to be listened to, too. If I have something I've deemed worthy of saying out loud in class, I expect people to fucking listen. I only share my opinion in class if I think it's really fucking important.
... It doesn't work for teachers, but I've learned something about people: they're more likely to listen if you speak loud and clear, and you make a joke out of it. I've gotten lots of my political views across that way.
("Why do you think we're in Iraq right now...?" "Because our president wants to get revenge for Daddy! 'Sides, we like to blow shit up.")
If you say something light-heartedly, and you make it funny in some way, people are gonna listen.
... That's the case for me at least, I dont' know.
ANYWAY I WANT TO KNOW WHY BAN WENT TO MUGENJYOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. (How's that for a subtle transition, eh? /no1)
Seriously! Do we have any clue? I don't think much's been revealed on the subject. He went, fought Raitei, and now he and Ginji are teh happihappigaygay. (Or not, depending on your opinion.)
Really, though, I wonder--was it just fate? Something done on a whim?
Was it (consciously or not...) an attempt at suicide after killing Yamato? I'm sure this idea's been brought up plenty of times before, but I was just wondering about it while on the plane, and... remembered I was thinking about it just now. ^^;
Because really, Yamato and Himiko were his first friends, and we all know Himiko didn't like it much when he killed Yamato. I'm sure Ban didn't like it much, either. Really, poor "devil child" had a fucked up enough life already... then he had to kill one of his two (2!) friends. SO FUN.
So... did he hear of Raitei, and realize... this was someone who could possibly be stronger than him? 'Coz Ban's damn strong. He might have told himself it was just for the challenge, or something like that, but... I wonder. It might have been the most dignified 'suicide' he could think of--going down in a fight against someone (hopefully) stronger than him.
I lost my train of thought 'coz I just realized that Ban has almost no friends. Ginji's got the Four Kings (sorta >>;), Ban, some other Mugenjyou peeps, Natsumi... He's an all-around friendly guy.
But Ban is mean and "OMG I'm so cool" all the time. He's got, uh, Ginji. (Do Paul, HEVN, and Natsumi count...? Hmm. *shrug* And things with Himiko are kinda messed up, seeing as he killed her brother and all that. Yes, sure, she probably has the hots for him, but she's also all "YAR I HATE BAN >:(") He has more enemies than Ginji, too.
Besides maybe Akabane, I can't think of any serious enemies Ginji has. O__o; Unless I'm just blanking out on things?
Ban, however, managed to get Himiko (sort of), the Miroku 7, Fudou (!), and... probably a few others I've forgotten, to hate him. A lot. What a lucky guy. :D (This has been mentioned a lot before, too. Oh well!)
Just thinking about it more, Ban's probably a lot more reliant on Ginji than I thought. I always knew he depended on Ginji--that they depend on each other, really--but jeeez. Ban's life is decidedly lacking in real friends.
I wonder if that's part of the reason Ban hasn't (far as we know) jumped Ginji. XD No, really... Having so few friends, and so many enemies... he wouldn't want to mess up what he has with the one person he can rely on/the one person who relies on him. Oh well. I still say those two need to get it on. Really, volume 21 could have been prevented by a good old fashioned dose of HOT GAY SEX.
Yeah, I have way too much free time on my hands today, don't I?
Uh, what else, what else...
Iwanttogetbetteratdrawing. Yes. So i'm gonna keep on practicing, and try to not be so lazy about things. Because I think I'm... at least a little above average (not in terms of artists--I think I'm a bit below that average--but above 'normal' people, who "can't even draw stick figures!" (quote from SO MANY PEOPLE IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.))
I wanna do something with my life, and I wanna do it with art. So I have to get better. I figure I'll be at least 'decent' before I die, so, goshdurnit, I'm going to keep on trying. I'm going to practice, and I'm going to do what I can, and maybe, somehow, some day, I'll actually be pretty good.
I just have to work on my patience--my neatness could use some work--and, uh, everything else about my art. I don't think there's any one thing I'm particularly good at. I'm fairly happy with my marker skills, and I sort of like how I ink by hand, but I'm not too happy with my computer works, my painter stuff, or my colored pencil art. I like to draw people, but I don't think there's anything about them I capture particularly well. I think I have most of the figure down decently--excluding hands and feet, those need the most work. (Feet need the most work, really. I can draw hands, and I've proven it a few times, but I usually need a model (using yourself for one is HARD) or something, else I fuck up. A lot. I don't really have the patience to draw them decently WITHOUT some sort of reference. It sucks. >>; So, er, I have to practice on those a lot.
I wanna get a better handle on the naked form, but y'know, I'm not old enough for a college figure drawing course, and... uh, people don't generally wander around naked? (and asking a friend or something seems Just Plain Weird, since I don't have anyone on this coast I know well enough, y'know? XD; *die* I'm sure it would be taken wrong, even if it was one of my female friends.)
SO THIS MEANS THAT I HAVE TO LOOK AT MORE PORN.
YAY, PORN.
(no, I'm not bored! really!)
Also, I don't know if I'll be on again this weekend. Oh well, I've gotten in a good long entry covering a lot of stuff, so I'm happy, or something like it.
we care...
Thanks for calling us sellouts,
And not taking a joke!
Talking shit, and covering us in spit.
So glad to know you care!
--Reel Big Fish
current mood:  weird
current music: why do they rock so hard? (reel big fish CD <3) (4 comments |comment on this)
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