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Thursday, July 31st, 2003
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12:10a
merryswallow: XD XD XD No, no, it's not just you~ I'm amused as all hell by Akabane x Ginji for the hilarity factor.
merryswallow: Not seriously, no, because for Akabane, slash is LITERAL.
tapw9ytnhpw4yapwe4rytghaw4prytghwprigtyhaw$P(
... ROFL
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1:53p
...huargh. It's weird, to see all my artistic friends (and most of them ARE artistic, in one way or another) improving all the time. Like... @.@
Chira's gotten so much better at drawing in the past year, it's almost scary at times. She wasn't bad last year or the year before, no, but now... jeez.
Yeah, there's plenty of people who are good, and have been really good for long periods of time (I won't name names, as that seems unfair). But to see somebody get that much better... x.X
And for that matter, Lily! For those of you that don't know, she's pretty much just an author. And a year ago, her stuff was... eeeeeh. At times (not to be mean, Lily ^^;) some of it was nearly unreadable. But now? Now I love her writing. It's still awkward sometimes, but jeez, she has gotten SO much better, it's scary.
Again--I know plenty of people who have been good authors for a Good Long While (tm) but...! @.@!
And yeah, I don't know. My style's changed, in drawing at least, but... I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. And my writing... blech, I dunno.
So yes: other people are improving TONS and I am not so much and it is bothersome.
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10:33p
this is made funnier by the comments.
Also, my self-esteem has taken a dive off of a very high cliff, and landed on the sharp pointy rocks below. Then someone nailed it to the v. v. uncomfortable ground, and proceeded to drop a boulder on top of the poor thing.
Basically: argh shit why are there so many artists better than me.
I don't know, my ego has run away and I think it's probably crushed beneath my self esteem. That is not a fun place to be, by the way.
Gah, this is so annoying. Some days I will think "wow, my art has gotten better and I am actually happy with what I'm drawing now!" and then the next (today, of course!) I will think "Jeezusfuck, my art is meaningless crap and I don't know why I bother drawing because I suck, gtwa4tgywp4aty!"
(and then I realize that the reason I bother drawing is because it's an addiction, and really, I cannot quit, because I think it would break me even further if I tried)
So yes.
If I act a bit odd tonight, please forgive me.
(and I have a picture I want to draw but it's meaningless and meant purely to make the fangirl in me happy, and I think if I were to draw something like that it would not help one little bit.)
argh.
I'll be better tomorrow, I s'pect.
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