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[16 Aug 2005|10:47pm] |
It's been almost two months.
T-minus eight days until I am at Naz. I'm nervous. And excited. I had such a major meltdown the other day, and it helped me to see that I'm both nervous and excited. I kinda want to get there, but at the same time don't want to leave.
But it's time to grow up.
crossesfingersforfreeshirt
Am officially an adult now. Yay!!!
I made out my schedule in Excel. I've got one class on Friday, and want to try to shower in the middle of the day. It's a plan for now. Must fit in work study.... Should ask my orientation leader.
I went to Cape Cod last week. It was lovely. Much to say, but no words to say it with.
Adios!
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[26 Jun 2005|09:53pm] |
God, I hate it when people get selective. You can be with a group of people, your very best friends, but then one person will show up, and then everyone splits away from you and goes to one person. I can't do anything; My friends just flock to each other, and never tell me anything. I mean, they'll go out and do something, but never tell me, and I'll find out. And it hurts a lot. They never keep in touch. I'll try as hard as I can, but it doesn't work out. It never works out. I feel like an outcast half the time.
I hate exclusivity. It hurts so much. I want to tell someone, part of their little group. But I don't want to hurt anyone. So I'll keep hurting myself. I'll keep out of their lives. The only way we'll see each other is if by some chance we'll meet at a random party. Sure, we'll just back into the familiar comaraderie, and it'll feel the same, but I'll never feel completely at ease.
I don't care that some of them are really close, but that leaves no excuse for not letting me be part of their little group. If they keep me out, they'll lose me. Forever.
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[09 Jun 2005|07:40pm] |
I've been working. It's fun. I guess. I don't want to go at night, but I wake up and leave, and I end up having a good time. Frosty takes care of me, and makes sure I take my breaks. Ron and John help me out when I need it. Erica makes sure I know what I'm doing. Alissa took care of me those first few days.
And now I have my scrubs.
Still looking for him. Damn. Haven't found him yet.
Ted's party is Sunday. Whoooo!! I want to buy him a squirt gun, because I think he'd like it. After all, it is Ted. The day before is Prom. I have to work that day, from 7 to 3. Won't that be fun? All night parties too! But, I'll live somehow. It should be lots of fun.
Well... Tomorrow is my day off. My ex-gym teacher, Jensen, wants me to visit. Ain't happenin'. Gym starts at 10ish, and I intend to sleep in. Haven't been able to in ages.
Adios!
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[30 May 2005|11:18pm] |
Ho-ly shit, it's been more than a month.
Last week of school went by. Very stressful, since I had a research paper and an AP exam. Survived. I got him to sign my yearbook. I plotted. Awesome.
Exam week. Saw him once. It was awesome.
Did nothing for a week.
Prom was fun. Went solo, and had a blast. Bowling was fun, but I was upset that people didn't really bowl, but were in their own separate groups. No pretty guy.
Orientation for work. That was amusing. Met a fun Fisher guy. Saw an old friend. All week, it was great. I had fun.
Graduation. Saw him again. Whoooooooo!!! Everyone thought we should totally makeout. Not sure if I'm ready to give up my silly little crush, but whatever. It was really sweet in some places, and the senior slideshow was amazing. I laughed and cringed.
I thought then I wouldn't see him for a while. Alex and I went to the mall, and I drove by his house, and saw him in a wifebeater. Ho-ly shit.
Parties were fun, as always. Adios!
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| "Holy crip he's a crapple!" |
[25 Apr 2005|10:42pm] |
Family Guy = amazing.
I've gotten into Friends. I'm on season 3, but I skipped ahead to see the beginnings of Monica and Chandler. I've been devouring the show; It's ridiculous.
Ummm.... Still, non existant love life. What else do you want?
No prom date as of yet, if I get one ever. Whatever.
I was on time for anatomy today. Whoooooo!!!
Ummm... Going to Naz. Whoo!!! Got housing and other funfunfun stuff in the mail today. I'm excited. Speaking of which... I want to check the Naz site.
Need to write moremoremore of my paper due Wednesday that I started today because I was slightly confused but not really and now I am no where close to finishing this paper because I watched 2 and a half hours of TV, and now am reliving the last hour, since I taped all of it.
... Run on to the max.
Adios!
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[04 Apr 2005|10:42pm] |
Well, well, well....
The play is later this week, and I can't wait for it to be over. It's been my excuse forever. I need to make a documentary for class, start my research paper, study for that AP exam, as well as the rest of my schoolwork. Not to mention the upcoming deadline for the final decision of colleges. Ick.
Herm..... But, yeah, the play. I want a flapper outfit. Why is it that the dancers, who came in three weeks before opening night, get the best costumes, while the people who have toiled away the entire time get the same old outfit. I want to be a flapper!!!
I know you all are expecting this next part.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeell... I saw him where he works. Mainly because he does security at the same arena where I go to hockey games every once in a while. It was interesting... Passed by twice, because my sister and I ran into a dead end. But, really, not much to say. I followed him in his car for about two seconds today? He followed me in my car for three seconds last week? I really don't know what to say. There are no juicy details, but only the silly, girlish, gleeful exclaimations of something minor that does nothing, but to me isn't quite so minor.
Whatever.
We got fed tonight. Amazing, amazing principle. Never thought I'd say that. And Ted died twice. **giggle**
Adios!
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[31 Mar 2005|09:22pm] |
My secret has been discovered. By a friend. Who knows the guy. Whadda think of that? That was the most awkward conversation I've had in a while. Looks of confusion and lots of questions. Terrible.... But I think it all ended well.
Well.... I tried a renewal. Here's to hoping.
Finished my big anatomy project.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand... I'm done.
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[27 Mar 2005|11:04pm] |
And an enjoyable day to you!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways... I got a cupcake in government. Teachers who give out food are good.
And I got lots of candy today. Yumm.... Right?
I am having such a damn good hair day today, BTW. If only.... If only.... If only seen by he .
Found my journal yet? Comment. Gimme something to read.
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[27 Mar 2005|11:04pm] |
And an enjoyable day to you!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways... I got a cupcake in government. Teachers who give out food are good.
And I got lots of candy today. Yumm.... Right?
I am having such a damn good hair day today, BTW. If only.... If only.... If only seen by he.
Found my journal yet? Comment. Gimme something to read.
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[18 Mar 2005|03:08pm] |
I have chocolate on my shirt. I've been dropping food onto my shirts lately left and right. It really sucks... Especially when one drops cherries.
Life as of lately...
20-odd days of school left. Like... 26 or 25. I'm almost done with high school, and it's so sad. It was a totally different experience from what I imagined in 8th grade, and I'm glad. I've had a great time. Yeah, lots of depression stuff, but I wouldn't take it back. Too many good memories and people to forget. Maybe that's why people say being a teenager is the best years of your life... Because of the fun remembered. No one likes to remember depression.
Still infatuated. But I spoke to him! Nevermind the fact it was answering a question because he couldn't see.... Still spoke to him. Aaaaand... I've been wondering (still) if it's just because I need a guy. I haven't had a boyfriend in forever, and I just need a hug. Like every day. God, I am so fucking horny! It's ridiculous!
Why do all fairy tales end 'happily ever after'? There needs to be a fairy tale where the girl does not get the guy, and her heart is broken. I would see it. The world needs more sappy angst.
I'm going on a bus soon! Woooooooooooooooo!!!
Adios!
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[02 Mar 2005|10:34pm] |
"Sometimes, it's not the journey. It's the destination."
I <3 Sex and the City. That show is just plain fabulous.
Not much to say... It's been almost a month since I last updated. We have 37 days of school left. We dress up on Fridays now, because we're lucky, and I got new shoes for a skirt I own and have no shoes to wear in winter with it/pink clothes. So now I'll tell everyone I love them, and shock them since most of them (probably) think I am pretty modest.
I need to study for a few quizzes.
I told someone about the newest love of my life. She knows his name and how I feel at the moment... Maybe. Why do I like him? He's my total opposite... Someone I shouldn't be watching. Why do I feel this way? It makes me feel like a total dork.... Especially when I want to pet him when he seems asleep.
Damn my girlish feelings.
Well.... We had a snow day yesterday, I am wearing new socks, and I reallyreallyreally like Constantine from American Idol. Never watched the show before, but I was really sick... Last week, to the point where I hardly moved some days, so I watched what the family watched, because I didn't feel like moving. It was then I fell for Constantine. And Nikko, because of Nikko's clothes. Then I found out Nikko could sing. Constantine was just... himself. That's why I fell.
Sister told me earlier when we went to get our brother that I am going to have lots of husbands. I have claimed many men to be my husband in the future. Constantine was claimed today, Gerard Butler a month or two ago, Jude Law once upon a time (it seems now), maybe Harrison Ford when I was little. I'm sure there are more, but those four stand out.
I should be a Mormon. Or hope for the 'zsa zsa zsu' that Carrie (from SATC) speaks of, so I can truly find that guy to marry. **hopes he's perfect**
Well........ Adios!
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[09 Feb 2005|11:20pm] |
Have to tell four people, so I am amusing more than four people read this.
Names changed to protect the innocent... AKA me.
LJ Friends Meme by  coolerq• You must tell 4 people about this game.
• bob is the one that you love.
• harry is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about annabelle.
• jade is the one who knows you very well.
• raoul is your lucky star.
• vindicated is the song that matches with bob.
• creep is the song for harry.
• murder, he says is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and crazy is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz
I know who the names to belong to, and I tell you not. All names changed, ignore my sense of music. The one song refering ot 'Bob' popped into my head, and actually fit. Creep also fits 'Harry' very well. Guess I still like him. Scary, isn't it?
Well, I need to go to bed soon.
I got into college. Possible snow day tomorrow. Adios!
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[20 Jan 2005|03:24pm] |
Damn. I dreamt about him last night. And probably the night before. Most likely before then too. This is bad. I've never really... It's bad. Graduation might depress me. I know it's hopeless, I really do. I can't hope it. He's not even...
Goddamnit, why can't there be men in the world who just date me?
Midterm week! Probably will fail anatomy and calculus. Anatomy is tomorrow, and I should be studying. Badly. But, there's I Love the 90s Part Deux.
I need a boyfriend.
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[15 Jan 2005|11:58pm] |
I saw Phantom of the Opera about one week ago (like, Sunday). It blew my mind. In fact, got the soundtrack for the Broadway show, then copied it so Sarah could have it and I could have the soundtrack to the movie.
I saw it again last Thursday.
The movie poster is so wrong. Outfit from Point of No Return on Emmy, and Gerard has the wrong mask for that scene, and it's on the other side of his face.
Anyways, fell in love with Gerard. Yes, Patrick is cute, but Gerard has the hands. I cannot resist the hands.
I also worship the (impossible) pairing of Erik/Christine. But, it will never happen.
Firstly, Erik sees Christine as a romantic, sexual figure. Christine sees Erik as a father figure (Angel of Music proves this). Won't ever work that way. You can't have a relationship with someone you see as your father. Ain't a-gonna work. Secondly... Raoul. He wants Christine. Christine wants him. Nope. Thirdly, Christine isn't the type of person to be locked up on darkness forever. She seems to like the light.
Now, Erik seems to know he can't get Christine (herm... Was, "Hey! I have a giant ring in my cleavage!" any hint?). He really wants to impress her, so he makes a play (very gothic play, at that), and writes a song all about sex. Seriously.
( proof of the sex song )
See! It's sex on a stick! The end point, when they both sing together, is the climax of the song, and, if it was sex, it would be the climax. THE PHANTOM HAS SEX ON HIS MIND!!!!
The one part of the movie that makes me want to burst into tears is the end. The part where Erik sings part of Masquerade, and the monkey, and the ring... It's heartbreaking.
Well, it's bedtime. Nighty night!
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[10 Jan 2005|10:00pm] |
Haven't updated in so long. Christmas was good. School sucked. I've gotten to be a giant bitch queen lately, and it sucks. I need a boyfriend badly, and school is hardly the place to look for someone. Even the one guy who I've been following (not stalkerly, but as in... like eye-following. Does that make sense?) is hardly the person to like... I dunno. It's weird. All I know about him is that dark side that everyone gossips about, and I know/assume several things from that, but I can't help it. It started months ago as one of those, hey he's kinda cute and looks like blahdeblah. Then I realized that I really liked him. And nobody knows! It's a secret! This is the first time I've admitted it. Hot off the press!
Anyways... Goddamnit. Must stop thinking about boys.
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