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Metallica - Sanitarium |
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As much as I would love to continue on being the hermit that I am, I've decided to pick my lazy ass up once again and update for all of those who actually gives a two shit about my boring life. There is probably actually only one person who would actually care anywho, since she can't seem to get off my back about not coming around often. -Sneers at her and smirks well after.-
I guess I can begin with a brief update about how I spent my time in Japan, even though it was a good couple of days since I've been home. All I can actually say is how much fun I've had, and I wouldn't regret it for the world, even though it had a rocky start from the plane ride. Nessa and I didn't seem to get along at first, and though she continuously says that when she gets pissed at me out of no where that it isn't my fault, for some odd reason, deep down inside my heart, I feel like it is .. whether she'd like to admit to it or not. I don't think she really realizes how much I really do miss our relationship with one another, whether it be platonically or not, and I'm sure that thoughts of how we used to be finds it's way into her head atleast sometimes ..
On my road to trying to forget past issues dealing with relationships, I decided to go out to a couple of clubs in the midst of Japan. Though I didn't have much luck with meeting new people, I did see an old face, and it was Devon Aoki. If none of you know, she had been a very close friend of mine, and helped in consoling me while I was on the verge of completely going insane after my breakup with Brody. She had feelings for me then, and it hadn't changed, especially when I decided to go to the place she was staying at after our little reunion at the club. It started off with a little chatting, then it grew, and grew. We kissed, we nuzzled, and before I knew it, I was slowly peeling off every inch of her clothing absently. We had sex, and what's weird is that I did it intentionally, sober and everything. We continued this pattern throughout the time I spent in Japan. There was no excuse, except for the simple fact that I wanted to get over everything with everyone. All the hurt, all the confusion, the love that lingers inside of me for that one person that won't go away for the life of me. I needed to be healed, and I needed to feel how it felt like to be loved again.
At the end of our session, as she sleeped beautifully beside me, I thought about what a huge mistake I've made. I didn't want Devon, and I knew that this act between us would confuse her, or ontop of that, even hurt her. Instead, I just left. No warnings no nothing. Ali eventually came up to me and told me how she wanted to leave Japan, and with no hesitation I packed up and left with her. I didn't want to see Japan again. I had my fun, and though I feel horrible about what I did to Devon, I feel healed. I feel better again, and I feel that I can just start over again from scratch. He told me not to fall inlove in Japan, and I didn't, and I'm happy I listened to his advice ..
I guess that's pretty much all I have to say for now.
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