joshua's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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about me... [31 Dec 2003|12:37am]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | that damned milkshake song... can't get it outa my head... ]

well, i haven't posted for a while and i'm pretty bored. i don't know if anyone stops by here or has read anything i post but i figure i might as well list some info about myself.

name: joshua
nicknames: schwa
hair color: brown
height: about 5'6" maybe 5'7" maybe 5'8"... hell i don't know... mid-sized?
weight: like 140 or something around there
eye color: green and sometimes blue
birth date: may 23
age: 19
interests: music, movies, computer graphics, video games, hanging out with friends, and some other stuff...

well, i am tired of typing and thinking already. this is just a few stuff i could think of off the top of my head. may post again later... till then...

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wowsa... nearly christ mas [24 Dec 2003|01:48am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | its still 'soco amaretto lime' by brand new ]

well its darn near jesus' birthday. i got my christmas shopping done. stuff here is fairly boring, but still better than school. my friends better do something interesting over new years or i'm going to be pissed... anyway... my blog has to be so boring. lol. oh well. my mom told me today that she is going to hook me up with mandy moore... lol. my mom is so funny. she thinks mandy is just the sweetest girl and that she is a 'cutey.' i tried to convince her that she is a movie/singer/hollywood person that would probably not give me the time of day, but my mom was being stubborn and failed to really pay to much attention to my argument. she (mom) is still cool as all get out though. welp, merry christmas if i don't post again... i don't really think anyone reads this anyway... but i guess i will just tell myself merry christmas then...

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home at last... [21 Dec 2003|12:53am]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | Brak Theme Song ]

finally home for break. it feels good to not have to worry about class or room mates and what not. just can sleep in my own bed in my own room. my friends back home are just as cool as they were before so hopefully there will be some fun to be had over break. i think i have eremophobia, because i would really enjoy finding a woman friend... hehe. welp that is all for tonight. i think i'm going to watch some tv and go to bed. i have to do some christmas shopping... yay... take her easy kids...

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looky here [16 Dec 2003|09:08pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | 'Soco Amaretto Lime' by Brand New ]

::yawn:: so i took my finals and what not yesterday... sheer excitement i suppose. today was very productive in that i did absolutely nothing (which was very nice). as for tomorrow my friend phil should be in, so it should be a change of pace for once. all the other bullshit in my life has strayed away for the time being so it feels nice to be nearly carefree... not to many worries surprisingly. can't wait for my 3 week vacation... i am really bored hence me updating this every day...

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'josh what is there left to work out?' [14 Dec 2003|07:28pm]
[ mood | impressed ]
[ music | 'If Winter Ends' by Bright Eyes ]

wow... subject title say it all? i'll skip talking about the title for now. i have 3 finals tomorrow. i am totally stoked about it too... i have been studying since friday so i better do good on these bastards. meanwhile, it has been a long day and night. snowed quite a bit last night so we all went out and frolicked and what not, turned out to be a real good time. meanwhile, studied most of today and hung out with my room mates. colts won today which was nice. meanwhile, my stomach has been killing me tonight so now i'm scared to eat anything (i'm really damned hungry). as for the rest of the night, i had a conversation with the ex (hence journal title, and since we aren't friends, i guess the quote says we won't be). didn't turn out to good i guess. it's a shame but i just can't understand her exactly. i thought we were real good friends and what not and now i'm not allowed to hang out with her. oh well... i can't wait for this week to be over so i can just bum out with my friends back home.

'all i've said is that you want me to like give you this time (hanging out, talking, etc) and i hardly do that with the friends i have'

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hmph... wow...? [13 Dec 2003|08:51pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | 'Passenger Seat' by Death Cab for Cutie ]

well it has been a while i suppose. haven't posted in Lord knows how long. as for life it goes by i suppose. i have realized as of late how much time i waste. i wish i could just go out and meet all kinds of people and quit sitting here by myself. it's hard to find new friends and what not, especially on a campus that is socially disfunctional. christmas is coming up and i'm pretty stoked about winter vacation. i will get to see my friends from back home again. meanwhile, finals are next week and that sucks. i have a lot of studying tomorrow... oh and by the way went out with a friend tonight and saw the movie 'the last samurai'... it was definetly friggin awesome... take it easy kids...

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black rose... [08 Jul 2003|06:49pm]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | coldplay - "the scientist" ]

life is tough. i am tired of my job. i am tired of almost everything. me and my friend decided that we basically get paid for attempting suicide... cause our job sucks that bad. meanwhile, last night was interesting. for some odd reason i heard the song "the scientist" by coldplay on television. so i grabbed the cd and turned it on. it struck a nerve. i cried. i think i am overly emotional at this point in my life. hey, i am still getting over things and i am doing better than i was. so you have to give me some credit. sometimes i wish i knew i had someone that cared for me outside of my family. i wish i had some sort of stableness in relationships and what not. i mean i know some people care for me... but not really CARE for me... you know? if you don't it is all good. it is probably something i create in my head. sort of like this girl (mystibaby is her sn on the forum) on the dashboard confessional message boards wrote in a poem: "i don't want to be lonely, i just want to be alone." it is amazing how truthful that is sometimes... well i am sitting here and still listening to that bloody song for some odd reason... oh well... life goes on right?

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what a swell swell world [07 Jul 2003|06:13pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | the juliana theory - "august in bethany" ]

another great day... or not. but hey i am smiling. i wasn't smiling when i got up at 5:00 this morning though. i was definetly not smiling when i got to work either.... today was a pretty crappy day at work. it was extremely hot in the factory and i worked with an extremely annoying kid that just graduated high school and always talks... like non-stop. it was very annoying. meanwhile, me and my friend matt had a good time conversing about our friends and what not. we also tried to crunch some numbers to figure how much longer we really needed to work at the factory. i am here to tell anyone reading this - NEVER WORK AT A FACTORY (unless it is in an air conditioned office). i work around 60 hrs a week in that bloody factory. today alone i threatened suicide at least three times. i guess my life can only get better from here though... now that i have gotten over being sick i think i am starting to move on. now when i leave this job i will start to realize how great life can be... much love to anyone reading this...

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another day... [06 Jul 2003|09:27am]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | bright eyes - "haligh, haligh" ]

man my stomach is killing me today. i think my mcdonalds was bad last night. terrible... anyway, i go back to work tomorrow which is going to be absolutely excrutiating because i don't want to go work 10 hrs a day 6 days a week anymore. it is all good though i guess. if i barely scrape by i will still be making $433 a week. welp, i will talk to you kids later, i am going to go lay around... my stummy is hurting to bad right now...

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hooray [05 Jul 2003|10:40am]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | azure ray - "displaced" ]

well, the 4th was pretty interesting. we ate at a great barbecue place last night than went to see some fireworks that were pretty nice. we were close enough to feel the concussion off some of them. i haven't had that much fun since i civil war reenacted. things were going great last night and then my old room mate from school AIMed me. he asked me about ashley so we talked about her for a while. sorta made me sad and i got a little teary eyed but that is just because i am a sad excuse of a guy i guess. i still miss her but i know things are going to be alright (at least i hope so). it just takes me a while to understand things like that i guess... and i don't want to seem sad because i want ashley to be happy... i am tired of upsetting her... well, i think that is all for now...

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::yawn:: [04 Jul 2003|11:11am]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | alkaline trio - "blue in the face" ]

ain't life grand? i went to work this week (hence no more updates...). it sucked pretty bad but yesterday was pretty nice because i got to work with matt. meanwhile, last night we all watched 'shaolin soccer.' that movie is so awesome. i am feeling better but i still think i have a small allergy with this medication... my head feels worse than it did a week ago. happy 4th and all that stuff... it will probably be a boring day but i am all for it. i think things are starting to turn around me as well. i think me and ashley will finally start doing better. i also am starting to believe that i may actually have a good future in front of me. hey... that is a good start for a pessimist. welp i think im going to go shower...

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first post [30 Jun 2003|12:08pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | alkaline trio - "all on black" ]

alright, well i sort of like the layout. it isn't to much but i sort of like the boringness of it all. this is my first post. today i think i am finally recovering from whatever virus was picking away at me. i am suppose to go to the doctor at 4:00 which is a little late... seeings how i am finally feeling better... i will probably be back to work tomorrow... yay rah...


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