L'Artiste's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] L'Artiste [ website | my livejournal ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

expose yourself! [01 Jun 2004|11:43pm] [ mood | pensive ] "...To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and probably be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safely in the casket of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become impenetrable, irredeemable . . . The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love, is hell." - C.S. Lewis

expose yourself! For Therapeutic Reasons [15 May 2004|11:02pm] [ mood | hyper ] I am in an incredibly crappy mood. Yet, I'm super duper hyper. Don't ask. Doesn't make sense to me. -shrug- This week has S U C K E D. I don't think I've ever experienced a longer week in my life. It's just been so... uneventful. Especially as compared to the last week of PBU, which was fun and shopping-loaded and party-ful. Now, I get up around 1, laze around all day, nap, blah blah blah. And that's it. I have nothing at all to do with all this free time on my hands. 'Cept for think. Who knows what happens when Liz thinks? That's right. Bad stuff. So, I'm thinking. And I've decided that I'm one freaking fun person. All that stuff that I think makes me lame? The dancing in the rain in my barefeet... the Trading Spaces fetish... singing (quite horribly) at karaoke... being able to recite all the lyrics to "The Bad Touch" at will... my unhealthy affection for Frappucinos... my secret crush on Mr. Darcy (aka Colin Firth)... the annoying habit of trying to fit ghetto slang into everyday conversation... Yeah. Fo shizzle. That all makes me incredibly fun and cool and hip and... well, whatever other synonyms there are for "cool". That's me. And if there are certain boys who decide not to like me based on any of this? That's their problem. Right? I'm not stupid. All A's and B's my first year of college (we're disreguarding the two C's for the purposes of this entry). I have a slight sense of humor... sure, it takes some getting used to... but people laugh. (at me, if not with me) I'm not entirely doggy. The right lighting (or lack thereof)... a few layers of make-up... if I cover most of my face with my bangs... I can even be mistaken for "attractive." Especially if you close your left eye and kind of squint with the right one. I'm a generally nice person. I... well... Yeah, I've got nothing to back this one up, you'll just hafta take my word for it. And there you have it. I'm likable, right? Perhaps even "like" likable. And callable. So, why won't he call? -whimpers- And that, my friends, is the end of that. I'm now going to cease overanalyzing everything he's ever said to me, stop picking at all of my flaws, and discontinue wondering why he doesn't like me. That's it. The end. Fin. Now, I'm going to go eat a whole lot of ice cream and watch an unbearably sappy movie. It's what my kind do.

2 exposed * expose yourself! Hm. [08 Feb 2004|10:52pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Sugarcult ] Here's a nice link to check out ;).... psssst Hm, oh yeah. Her parents advised her to leave campus because it's too stressful for her to be near me. No comment. Here's a little slice of what goes through Missy's mind. (thanks for showing me, Danizzle) : "So, Guys tend to go after me here at PBU, but I dont think any of them are sincere...hence why I won't date any. I think they're just trying to find a prize for their arm or a date for the week...some cute curly-haired, brown-eyed girl to show up with at a show. Well not me! How stupid do they think I am!" - september 15 Yeah, and ps. I figured out that when Missy is angry with me, our friends exclude me when they do things. Fun. Frickin. Times.

expose yourself! It's a 5-Letter Word That Starts With a "B" [08 Feb 2004|06:55pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Offspring ] Just read Missy's online diary. She says something like, "I had such a long weekend... blah blah blah... then I have to come back to my dorm and live with the person I can't trust." Hm. Yeah. :\ What's so frustrating about this is that whether Matt likes me or not, or if I choose to continue to IM Matt or not... see, it's got ABSO-FRICKIN-LUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. It has to do with people named Liz and Matt and Chris. Her name happens to be Missy. It's so frustrating to have someone angry with you about something so trivial and so... so... none of their business. In her entry she says something about how she's not perfect, but that "doesn't mean I have to be okay with it." Hm. See, there's no reason for you not to be okay with it. I talk to the boy. This is what I thought I left behind in Middle School. Trivial little issues about who likes whom. I know myself. I know that I'm capable of talking to attractive boys who like me without losing my virginity, mmkay? Ok. The only thing I sort of feel bad about is I think she and Jason argued about me and Matt. I don't want to ruin Valentine's Day for Jason. Poor guy. He wants to defend his best friend, and still stick by his girlfriend... it must suck. Today I realized that Missy is the first person I ever called a bitch. I think that says something. Rayer= first person I ever called an ass. Missy= first person I ever called a bitch. It's good to keep track of these things. I really don't have much else to say. Just wanted to vent. I hope things are going well for some people who were having problems last night. :( Hope it's all better.

expose yourself! Your Lipstick, His Collar... Don't Bother, Angel, I Know Exactly What Goes On [02 Feb 2004|08:16pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Cute Without the E- Taking Back Sunday ] This looks like a HUGE entry, but I happen to think it's worth reading. I don't know. Nothing this exciting happens my life... Missy's boyfriend (Jason) came up for the weekend with his best friend (Matt). Background Info: Matt is the one who said I have a "hot voice" and started IMing me because of it, lol. We have codenames and a secret handshake and stuff, and he keeps making jokes about lifting the armrests at the movie theatre. (the ones in Neshamniy fold for easier make-out-age... I've never seen any like em before lol) Anyways, he talks about me a bunch, and Jason and Missy are under the impression that he likes me. I happen to think he just enjoys our stupid jokes and handshakes and ish lol. This all was only wishful thinking... Anywho, because Missy and Jason wanted "alone time" it was understood that I'd entertain Matt for the weekend. I was looking forward to meeting him because he seemed like a funny guy. Missy wanted him to come, but kept warning me that he might flirt like a mofo. They came on Friday night. Saturday we went to the mall. Missy and Jason went la la la on their own little way. I walked to FYE with Matt trailing behind saying, "I'm just gonna follow you around..." We walked around for awhile and he was pretty shy, so it was hard to get talking and stuff. When he finally started to open up, though, it was great lol. We raced up and down the mall stairs. We went on the elevator and screamed and waved our arms like it was an amusement park ride. We went to the jewelry store to pick out my engagement ring. He pulled me into girly stores and made me try on dresses. When we finally ended up meeting up with Jason and Missy, Matt whispered to me, "Missy will hate this..." and put his arm around me as we walked. lol He did that a few more times that night and then I realized, "Wait a second... Missy isn't even here any more!" He just laughed and sort of blushed. Jason lost his keys. *BIG ORDEAL ENSUES* We hitched a ride to the movies. Matt bought me food and we went to see The Big Bounce. *gay movie, but Missy and Jason were going to the only good one* When we sat down, he folded up the armrest and laughed, saying, "Just so I can tell Jason we did it." Then he put the popcorn in between us. After awhile I started to fall asleep. While I was in that "half asleep-ish" haze, I felt him guide my head over, onto his chest so I was laying on him. The movie ended. He woke me up. We called Charissa for a ride home. Charissa drove Jason and Missy, her boyfriend Mike drove me and Matt. Matt sat behind me, but on the edge of the seat, leaning forward, so he could be next to me. I said my hands were cold, so he took them and rubbed them together, put them up to his mouth and blew warm breath on them. He played with my ring and rubbed his finger across the stone. I said, "Cut that out! Do you know what it means when you touch the stone?!" He winked at me and laughed a little. We pulled into PBU at 2am. Curfew is 1:30. This normally would not have been bad, but we were with Mike... Mike is notorious for being rebellious. When we pulled in, a little white security jeep started following us. Mike, in his red mustang, sped away and thus started a car chase similar to those that require a "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you..." type theme song. The jeep shut off their lights and tried to trail us inconspicuously. We pulled into a side alley and the other car of people soon followed. Mike decided we should hide out in his apartment (also against PBU rules). So we did. *points to self* Rebel. :D Matt and I sat on one couch, while Missy and Jason lay on the other. He shyly... sort of awkwardly, even... put his arm around me as we watched the movie. After awhile of sitting there, he whispered in my ear, "I really want to kiss you, now. Can I?" "You're such a sucker for a sweet talker..." I told him no, kind of laughing because I felt bad turning him down. I don't know. When he flirted with me at the mall and stuff, I thought he was kidding. It wasn't until he laid me against him at the movies that I realized he wasn't joking. I guess that's why I let it get that far... I know that's not far at all, but for someone who has only kissed one person all her life, holding hands and things of that nature are a big deal. I felt like an idiot. And he was being so cute and shy and sweet. It made me feel like a jerk. He told me I was teasing him, but I insisted that he couldn't, in a "maybe she's joking" ambiguous kind of way. Mike told us we would have to sleep on the couch together, since Missy and Jason had already fallen asleep on the other one. NOT something with which I was comfortable. Matt and I talked most of the night (morning). I asked him about Katherine (Missy's friend who likes him a bunch). I was on the edge, so it constantly felt like I was falling off the couch. But, every time I said that I was, he would put his arms around me and pull me closer. So, after awhile I just stayed there feeling like I would fall lol. I tried to stay awake, but I eventually fell asleep mid conversation. It wasn't a very deep sleep, and when I woke up moments later, he was kissing my face. What scares me about that, is what if I kissed him back in my sleep? The next day, when we got back to the dorm, Missy started to talk to me about everything. She was angry that I let Matt flirt with me, and said that by doing so, in essence, I was flirting back. And Jason had told her that he heard me and Matt and kissing all night. First of all, it wasn't "all night." Second of all, I didn't kiss back. (as far as I knew) and he stopped once I woke up. Well, Missy feels like I'm betraying Katherine-who-likes-Matt. And she thinks I'm leading Matt on, or trying to seduce him or some crap. Turns out, I'm the first girl he ever kissed. I already felt guilty for not stopping him earlier. How was I to know he wasn't joking around and the mall and everything? "And all of this was your fault, all of this..." She succeeded in making me feel guilty. Then she told me that Jason had yelled at Matt for flirting with me. Matt had replied that, "Whatever happens this weekend, is just this weekend. I probably won't be able to see her ever again." Nooow. Hm. I don't know if that is sort of, "I'm a pimp. I hook up with girls over the weekend and then forget about him. Fo sho." But, that doesn't sound right since he's so shy and doesn't kiss girls and all... right? I mean, he's 23 and hot and I'm his first kiss. I don't know. I'd like to think he's sweet and shy and just being realistic, realizing that even if we had wanted to start dating, he'd still be 5 hours away. "I will never ask if you don't ever tell me..." I said I was ok with the whole, "just for the weekend thing," because... well. I was. lol I like Matt. He's nice to me and says nice things. But I love Chris. There's a difference there. Anyways, I found Matt in front of the fireplace and we talked about stuff. I kind of got the impression that he wasn't trying to pimp it. He asked again if he could kiss me. It was strange. There's this really cute, amazingly sweet and innocent guy requesting permission to kiss me. And there's no butterflies in my tummy... there's nothing. I told him know. Laughing, again... trying to be ambiguous again... sucking at life again... He laughed and argued that I was just teasing him, glancing at my mouth from time to time as we argued. Then he kissed me. I didn't expect it, to be honest. I thought he wouldn't if I didn't tell him he could... but then again I didn't count in the fact that he might think I was "playing hard to get." I got a wave of "I miss Chris" ness. "Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you..." We went out to TGIFridays and he bought me some food and we all watched the superbowl. He held my hand, put his arm around me... did the usual. Missy got pissed that I didn't push him away. I didn't quite know what to do... I suck at life. We went back to PBU, he and I singing "Cry Me a River" in the backseat while Missy and Jason rolled their eyes. We joked about our code names and did our secret handshake. He rubbed my knees, trying to warm me and I mourned the fact that he had to go and kiss me when he would obviously make a great guy friend. Missy and Jason wanted to spend the last hour alone, so Matt and I sat down and talked some more. They finally had to go, and he gave me a big hug and smiled at me sadly, saying he would try to come see me again. As they drove away, he leaned out the window, staring back at me. Oh well. I suck at life. ***All song lyrics courtesy of "Cute Without the E"... an amazing song. If you want the acoustic version, just IM me: cheezit217.

expose yourself! Moonlight and Love Songs Are Never Out Of Date [28 Jan 2004|09:55pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | As Time Goes By- Dooley Wilson ] I love this song. *dreamy sigh* Go watch Casablanca. NOW! Good good movie. So, ever been so busy doing something, that when you finally get a chance to pause, you realize you have bruises and cuts and burns that you didn't even notice getting. You were too busy to feel pain? Yeah. My finger is burnt preeeetty badly. I have a HUGE bruise on my wrist. It's just big, and purple, and hugenormous. Then there's the bruise on my leg, cut on my arm, that place where part of my finger is about to fall off... *complaining ceases* All of this work has been really hard on me. *not a complaint, I swear* When I fist realized how busy I would be this semester, it didn't phase me all that much. But I'm just so... weary. And I have no social life at all. I'm like a recluse only not because I'm NEVER in my dorm. Oh well. You know when you're, say, in school or work or whatever, and the entire time you're doing the boring task you're supposed to, in the back of your mind there's this little happy feeling like, "Yay! It may suck now, but I won't be here for long! A nice long break from this is right around the next corner...." For some strange reason, I feel that way. Like, I'll be at work and thinking, "My life sucks. I hate walk-in freezers. Why is my hand turning black? I want to die I want to die I want to die..." but then I'll think, "It's ok... I won't be doing this much longer." Only to realize that oh, yeah, I have a good 3 months of this left. I can't explain it. But it's weird. I don't know if it's a premonition or what, but it's weird. *as stated previously* So, guess what I did today! Filled out paperwork to join the Honors Society and went to a meeting about "adopting a grandparent." "But, Liz! You already annoy us enough with your overdramatic complaints about having too much work! Why are you adding on more...?" Short answer: Because. Long answer: If I join the Honors Society, I could be up for a great big ol' scholarship. Also, they only accept 10 students from each class. It's a pretty huge privilege to be invited. The adopt a grandparent thing is required, sort of "community service" type of thing. I only need to give 3-5 hours a week, so it's all good. And now, I leave you with this thought: "Fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother." -www.urbandictionary.com Well put, my African American friend. I concur. Well put. -Liz HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLI!!!

1 exposed * expose yourself! I Guess This Means Things Are Better... [25 Jan 2004|07:35pm] [ mood | loved ] him (7:25:01 PM): Liz, I'm in love with you. Everyday, it happens all over again. me (7:25:10 PM): what happens? him (7:25:25 PM): falling in love

expose yourself! [24 Jan 2004|03:43pm] [ mood | pensive ] My week has been the equivalent of a big ol pile of trash. Smelly, unwanted... you get the picture, I imagine. Well, I guess I should start where I left off. Friday afternoon. Missy wanted a ride home to see her boyfriend, and Ben to see his girlfriend. I hadn't planned on accompanying them *5th wheel*, but they couldn't find a ride anywhere. Missy: *laughin* Ben, tell any guys you know that they can date Liz if they give us a ride. Ben: Ha ha, I don't think Liz would appreciate that, would ya, Liz? Me: *also laughing* Sure go ahead. Noone in their right mind would accept that offer... *moments later* Ben: Ok, Gary wants to know how long this date will be... So, I went along with it. Of course I hadn't been serious when I initially said it was ok. But they really wanted to go see their significant others, and although I was getting squat out of this deal, I felt like I couldn't let them down. But, as time went on, the situation got worse and worse. Matt *Missy's friend from home* had plans to take me out to a movie and dinner. He also has a present for me, it seems. Derek *boy who looks like Chris Carrabba with muscles* wanted to me meet up with me once I got there. *he lives nearby* So, we left anyway. But, 2 miles up the road, the car breaks down. We went home. Missy screamed and cried and threw a tantrum, called Jason to ask him and Matt to drive 5 hours here, pick us up, and drive us 5 hours back to her home. *not counting the return trip on Sunday* Oh, and this was 9 at night, and it's snowing. As you can probably guess, they didn't come. We didn't go. I spent my Friday night inside. And yeah, Chris never called. So, there I am, a big puddle of self-pity. My life seems to suck. All I do is work and yet I'm still too poor to buy a bag of chips. I can't talk to any boys without them requesting a date because, apparently all boys my age are perpetually horny and can smell fresh virgin meat from miles away. Chris and I broke up, and I'm still not sure if we're back together. I don't sleep. I occassionally have time to eat. I finally get some time off on the weekend, and I have to go out with people that I don't really want to because I'm too much of a wuss to turn anyone down. Then, my friend comes over to tell me she has pelvic inflammatory disease. It's sexually transmitted, and it usually comes with gonnorhea or chlamydia. Sometimes it makes women unable to have children. It's horrible that something so drastic needs to happen in order for me to realize how self-centered I am, and appreciate my life more.

expose yourself! All I Want Is You [22 Jan 2004|05:50pm] [ mood | better ] [ music | All I Want Is You- U2 ] finally called Chris yesterday. No answer. Figures, huh? Like, 5 minutes later, he called back on a cell phone. His mom, meanwhile, yelled at him from the other room saying, "Someone tried calling while I was on the phone. Ask Liz if it was her." THIS, my dear friends, means that he called me. Not called me back. Called me. By himself. I guess I just didn't expect him to. It made me happy. After that, the conversation was odd. Odd in the sense that it was so normal. Everything that's been going on was just sort of ignored. He even said, "I love you." So... what exactly does that mean? Are we unbroken-up? Sometimes I wish I had more experience with this dating thing. Rare times. But they do occur. Tomorrow will be/would have been 11 months, by the way. That's a long time. A slightly happier, -Liz

expose yourself! I'll Convince You Soon That I Am Fine [21 Jan 2004|08:42pm] [ mood | sore ] [ music | sappy emo music ] Ever have one of those weeks where you think, "Wow. This has been such a long, hard week...." And then you realize it's only Wednesday morning? Yeah. That's probably the shortest description of how I felt today that I can give. Today was another of those work from 8 til 8 days. Yaaaay for working. I start job numero 3 next week, so I'll be super duper busy then. Score. And I just figured out that despite the fact that I'm working so much that I barely have time to breathe, I'm only making a grand total of $100 a week, after taxes. Gotta love working my butt off only to still be poor. Sok, though. Danielle's helping me get job numero 4. Speaking of no time, it's turned out to be a blessing of sorts. I'm too busy to think about things, which is good. Because when I think, I cry. And I want to call, but I don't think it would do much good. I'm really torn. But I refuse to write more about it here. I'm already starting to tear up. Oh, so yeah. Turns out Missy started dating that boy that she was dating but refused to admit she was dating *long story that irks me* Meanwhile, Ben has started dating Missy's best friend. So this weekend, me, Missy and Ben were going to have "Significant Other Weekend" *translation: our boyfriends and girlfriends were coming to see us* Well, obviously that's not going to work out as planned. So, I've been sort of cut from the guest list. Believe me, not the worst of my troubles right now. But, what really bothers me is that, though I rarely see Missy or Ben any more, whenever I do, all I hear is, "And she kissed me..." or "He's so adorable when he says I'm beautiful..." SHUT UP ABOUT THE COUPLENESS. And while I'm out until 8 every night, Missy gets done by 12:30. But you know what she does, anyway? She tells Jason to call at 9. They don't get off the phone til 12. When exactly do I get to use the phone? I'm too much of a wuss to say anything, though. Besides, it's silly for me to even hope he'll call. Right? Ugggh my legs hurt. I don't know what my problem is. I get a job, and all I do is complain and gripe. I mean, I'm not the first person in the world to have a few jobs while going to school. I'm such a drama queen. For all those concerned out there *Paaaam*... I did eat today. And someone bought me hot wings last night because they knew I was stressed. I have pretty cool friends. Well, that's all I have to say for now. I have loads of homework to do, then classes at 8am, of course. I miss him like hell.

expose yourself! If Love Is A Labor I'll Slave Til The End [19 Jan 2004|11:19pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | "Swing Life Away" -Rise Against ] Today was an alright day. Loooong, rushed, busy... but not bad. I was so excited to get in because, well, that meant my day was over, lol. AND because Chris promised to call at 6:30. He ended up getting online at 6, and we talked a little. Somehow, this huge argument started. I don't know. It was probably my fault. I've been really on edge lately. It's just felt like... I don't know. Like I've been deserted, I guess. Probably the one thing I cling to most for stability is my rigid set of ideals. Lately, though, it's felt like they've all been destroyed. I have only one really strong, basic ideal left. And that seems to be valuable to noone but me. So, like I was saying, despite my really great mood, we ended up in this huge argument that stemmed from something stupid, of course. But it was one of those arguments that seemed to snowball... instead of trying to reconcile things, we just kept hurting one another. I don't know, but I think we may have just broken up.

expose yourself! My Loneliness Is Killing Me :( [17 Jan 2004|11:29pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | a "punk" cover of "Baby One More Time"... it's actually good ] I'm in such a bad mood. I started work today. I was supposed to work from 12:30-2:30. Not bad, but eh. It's Saturday. I should be asleep at 2:30. I ended up being there practically another hour because noone was there and they pushed all of this work off onto me. Whoo for more money. Chris called while I was at work. I called him back, he was out. I went to Target and got a few necessities (shampoo, phone card, make-up, Pop Tarts) He called while I was out. I called him back. Three times between 5:00 and 10:00. He still isn't home, I imagine. And ya know what? It pisses me off. I stayed home from a ton of fun things my friends were doing just so I could talk to him. *sigh* Anyways, now I don't know what to do with myself. It's 11pm on a Saturday night... probably the last homework-free Saturday of the semester... and I've done nothing fun all day. *sigh* Oh, yeah. I redid my LJ. The other one didn't seem very "Liz-ish" I don't think. Anyways, I like this one better, even if it is kind of boring. -Liz

expose yourself! Another Year Over, A New One Just Begun [24 Dec 2003|01:10am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Greatest Hits of the 50's ] 01. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? i could make this a pretty long list, but i'll just sum it up: date, all the fun things that goes along with that *nondirty*; graduate; college, all the fun *ha* stuff that goes along with that 02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i dont really do that... too depressing 03. Did anyone close to you give birth? a cousin i dont talk to any more. lol 04. Did anyone close to you die? my Aunt 05. What countries did you visit? you make me laugh 06. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? a 3.5 gpa ... stupid scholarship requirements 07. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 16: graduation; Feb. 23: Chris officially asked me out; Aug. 22: first day at PBU; Aug. 26: turning 18; Nov. 23: not only the day marking 9 months of being with Chris, but a bunch of ish happened. ...there's a few others, eg: prom, musical nights, picnic with everyone, etc. I tried to keep it short though lol 08. What was your biggest achievement of the year? graduating, i guess? although getting a sexy guy isn't too shabby... ;) 09. What was your biggest failure? hm. that final i failed for oliff; my voice cracking onstage, etc 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i think depression... not sure 11. What was the best thing you bought? laptop :D 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? class of 03. duh. and chris has been incredible, he's just always there for me. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? ha ha missy. mine. 14. Where did most of your money go? school crap 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? knowing chris liked me as much as i liked him; having a lead; getting out of ap; pbu 16. What song will always remind you of 2003? theres too many to list. so many associated with dating chris, so many associated with graduating, so many associated with my pbu friends 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: ii. thinner or fatter? fatter iii. richer or poorer? richer 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? seen my friends 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? angering people, moping 20. How will you be spending Christmas? with my family 22. Did you fall in love in 2003? for the first time. 23. How many one-night stands? psh. what kinda girl do you think i am?! 24. What was your favorite TV program? TRADING SPACES! woot! 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? prof. oliff; mr. rayer 26. What was the best book you read? tender is the night 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? dashboard confessional and the sexy sexy sexy chris carrabba 28. What did you want and got? a great person to love me. a diploma. 29. What did you want and not get? a car. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? pirates if the carribbean or finding nemo... and underworld *inside joke... if you don't get it, you're on the outside* 31. What did you do on your birthday: start class at pbu. fight with missy. cry. see my parents come visit me with cake and balloons. 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not saying goodbye to my friends. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? lol what?! umm. i like salvation army and american eagle. ...did that answer the question? *puzzled* 34. What kept you sane? phone calls from chris. AIM. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? chris carrabba *drools* 36. What political issue stirred you the most? whoo! we caught saddam! *heart swells with patriotism galore* 37. Who did you miss? ....everyone. 38. Who was the best new person you met? missys not as bad as i make her out to be. lol 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: can i get back to you on that? too many thoughts in my head at once... 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: There are places I remember all my life, Though some have changed, Some forever, not for better, Some have gone and some remain. All these places had their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living. In my life I've loved them all.

expose yourself! You Kiss By The Book ;) [23 Dec 2003|11:36pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Me First and the Gimme Gimmes ] Today was one of those really awesome days, that are really just awesome because you wake up in a good mood. IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!!! I woke up at 8:30... VERY early for me, as of late. I keep going to bed around 6am any more. Sucks. Oh well. I was left alone in the hose, so I cleaned the whole house and went Christmas shopping. I wrapped presents and watched Charlie Brown and the Grinch and Rudolph, etc. Then, I walked to AP and met Chris, Danielle, and Daniel. We walked home. I raped Chris in his driveway lol. I gave Danielle her presents. She called me later to tell me she didn't know what to do with them...? Later, I went over to Chris' house to exchange gifts. He's so adorable. As we're standing on his step and he's fumbling with the lock, it dawns on me that today is the 23rd. That means we've been going out for exactly 10 months. Isn't it crazy? We watched Romeo + Juliet. I sat there thinking about the movie... the play, really... and yet again contemplating the completely un-romantic fact that they claim they're in love after only knowing one another, what? Ten minutes? Craziness, I tell you. Then I started thinking about Chris, and I just sort of stared at him awhile. I really love him. It's not a stupid crush or anything. Of course, we've been going out for 10 months. This isn't the first time I've said I love him, or knew I love him. It's just that the whole reality of it struck me at once, I guess. Wanna know something pathetic? I started crying. Crying. I think it must've completly confused Chris. I tried not to let him see the tears, but he noticed and kept asking what was wrong. lol He probably thought I was crying at the movie or something, lol.... We traded gifts, which was fun! :D He knows me so well, lol. And then his mommy gave me presents, which I wasn't expecting at all. It made me feel really really special. :D So, yeah. Merry merry merry Christmas eve eve, everyone! :D Tomorrow should be a good day! Pizza with Matty, seeing Kel and meeting her Chris, and then paaaarties all day! WHEE!!! -An unusually happy, Liz

expose yourself! Cyber Pervs= Funny [21 Dec 2003|01:55pm] [ mood | grumpy ] [ music | Feliz Navidad ] Here's some excerpts from conversations in th past few days... I deleted a lot of funny ones by accident. :\ Sorry. lol [[after he randomly sends me a picture of his pee pee]] Cheezit217 (12:53:35 AM): oh wow Cheezit217 (12:53:42 AM): i really wish you were here sicprerunner (12:53:52 AM): really? Cheezit217 (12:53:55 AM): yeah Cheezit217 (12:54:03 AM): there are so many things i want to do to you Cheezit217 (12:54:21 AM): would you do something for me? sicprerunner (12:55:21 AM): ok sicprerunner (12:55:27 AM): what do you want me to do for you sicprerunner (12:55:34 AM): ill do anything sicprerunner (12:55:36 AM): you want Cheezit217 (12:55:41 AM): first Cheezit217 (12:55:47 AM): oh wow Cheezit217 (12:55:52 AM): it would be such a turn on sicprerunner (12:56:02 AM): what? sicprerunner (12:56:37 AM): youre makin me horny tell me Cheezit217 (12:57:30 AM): well Cheezit217 (12:57:35 AM): to start Cheezit217 (12:57:40 AM): id want you to come here Cheezit217 (12:57:41 AM): mmm Cheezit217 (12:57:46 AM): and Cheezit217 (12:57:52 AM): SCREW YOURSELF, YOU FRICKIN PERV sicprerunner signed off at 12:57:57 AM. sicprerunner signed on at 1:00:22 AM. sicprerunner (1:00:33 AM): hey Cheezit217 (1:00:41 AM): hm? sicprerunner (1:00:54 AM): what was that? Cheezit217 (1:01:10 AM): um. that was you bein sick, and me telling you not to. sicprerunner (1:01:22 AM): oh ok sicprerunner (1:01:24 AM): sorry sicprerunner (1:02:06 AM): so was any of it true? Cheezit217 (1:02:21 AM): what do you mean? sicprerunner (1:02:29 AM): of what you said sicprerunner (1:02:58 AM): ? Cheezit217 (1:03:05 AM): yeah Cheezit217 (1:03:09 AM): youre so big sicprerunner (1:03:40 AM): are you just playin with me? Cheezit217 (1:03:47 AM): no Cheezit217 (1:04:53 AM): id climb on top of you sicprerunner (1:05:06 AM): ya Cheezit217 (1:05:11 AM): then Cheezit217 (1:05:19 AM): id take your huge penis Cheezit217 (1:05:26 AM): and shove it in a blender. Cheezit217 (1:05:35 AM): or maybe use a hacksaw. Cheezit217 (1:05:40 AM): depending on my mood. sicprerunner (1:05:42 AM): what? Cheezit217 (1:05:56 AM): i guess i could tie it with a rope, attach the rope to a freight train Cheezit217 (1:05:59 AM): see what happens. sicprerunner (1:06:46 AM): do you even want to talk to me anymore? Cheezit217 (1:07:00 AM): mm. Cheezit217 (1:07:21 AM): im thinking that question is unnecessary, as the answer is an obvious "no" sicprerunner (1:07:47 AM): why not? Cheezit217 (1:08:02 AM): because. Cheezit217 (1:08:05 AM): youre a sick perv Cheezit217 (1:08:38 AM): the kind they put in straightjackets and keep far away from children. Cheezit217 (1:08:41 AM): and most animals. sicprerunner (1:08:45 AM): sorry im just horny right now not usually like this Cheezit217 (1:09:44 AM): go get a girl/boy friend. sicprerunner (1:10:01 AM): i cant find one Cheezit217 (1:10:10 AM): really? a winner like you? Cheezit217 (1:10:29 AM): well, thats quite the puzzle, isnt it? sicprerunner (1:10:57 AM): i guess sicprerunner (1:12:04 AM): so you dont wanna talk to me anymore? Cheezit217 (1:12:14 AM): not particularly. Cheezit217 (1:12:38 AM): though you do seem like the kind of guy with which i could make funny conversations. sicprerunner (1:13:15 AM): really Cheezit217 (1:13:20 AM): mm hm. sicprerunner (1:17:46 AM): so is my dick big enough? Cheezit217 (1:18:59 AM): yeeeah Cheezit217 (1:19:05 AM): its almost as big as your head. Cheezit217 (1:19:14 AM): in fact, i think i could easily confuse the two. sicprerunner (1:21:07 AM): well could you turn me on for a little bit please Cheezit217 (1:21:15 AM): ok Cheezit217 (1:21:24 AM): i just got out of the shower sicprerunner (1:21:40 AM): ok cool Cheezit217 (1:21:43 AM): so im wearing only a towel. sicprerunner (1:21:57 AM): nice sicprerunner (1:22:01 AM): and sicprerunner (1:22:59 AM): what else Cheezit217 (1:23:07 AM): if you were here Cheezit217 (1:23:16 AM): id let you put your hand up my towel sicprerunner (1:23:38 AM): and then what Cheezit217 (1:24:40 AM): then Cheezit217 (1:24:56 AM): you could feel my huge throbbing penis. sicprerunner (1:25:19 AM): come on whats with that His extreme stupidity=priceless. Remington522 [10:14 PM]: umm ever have some1 smell your shoe Foot fetish much? Derek (12:54:25 PM): liz liz you're my butthead. I'm gonna love ya until you're dead. You attract pee pees from all over the land. Wont you please choose me as your man? Aww... a sweet poem by my pal.... Cheezit217 (2:01:43 PM): derek? Derek (2:02:07 PM): liz? Derek (2:02:14 PM): my long lost love? lol I just thought that was kind of funny. Fin51DouBleHH04(7:34:00 AM): ur cute. i wanna holla at u (if u dont mind) Foxpro102 (4:43:28 PM): u r sweet Foxpro102 (4:43:35 PM): even though i don't know you strozzapreti1 (3:54:52 AM): oh god i would totally just jizz if i saw a pic of u. ur face is adorable but i d like to see th rest Anyways, I'm in a sucky mood. Hope these excerpts helped someone else laugh as much as I did... -Liz

expose yourself! Free At Last, Free At Last! [15 Dec 2003|09:18pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | the Eagles game ] I'm home. :) And recuperating from finals week. :( Maybe I'm stupid, but I hadn't realized a week of no sleep and no food could make a person so icky. My complexion is gross, my hair is yuck, bags like WHOA under my eyes, and I lost a ton of weight. Last night I fell asleep at 9 and didn't get up this morning til 11. And my body's still adjusting to the idea of food. I'm starved all the time, but when I try to eat, I feel nauseous. Meanwhile, I've got tons of stuff to do at home, but nothing that I mind. I need to organize the Christmas pageant for my church, go Christmas shopping, decorate my room... *sigh* I love Christmas. So, anywho. Some guy online last night kept asking for my address because he wanted to send me a present. :\ Must I tell you how scared I was? I could just picture my face on the evening news... "Well, can I at least have your last name?" I was ascared. Member that nice guy I met online? Well, if I didn't mention, his name's Derek. He's just one of the nicest guys EVER. But, I'm starting to think he doesn't want to be just friends with me. :( Some things he said last night... him: "It sucks being alone." me: "Maybe you'll find a girlfriend at your new job?" him: "Or I'll find one online?" me: "I guess that's a possibility." him: "A sweet, innocent Bible student?" him: "How's my beautiful angel today?" {later} him: "You're so evil." me: "Evil yet angelic? A paradox." him: "A contradiction." me: "An oximoron." him: "Too good to be true." him: "I just laughed really hard." me: "Why's that?" him: "Because, well. Because you're so cute. And sometimes it just makes me smile." So, I'm not quite sure what to do about all that. He's so much fun to talk to, and obviously he's sweet. But, I don't know if I should let him keep calling me and stuff.... Maybe I'm just stupid. -Liz

expose yourself! LOL [14 Dec 2003|11:12pm] [ mood | amused ] Liz: DIE. *after 5 minutes* Liz: Derek? I was just kidding... I mean, just cause I say you're whipped doesn't mean you have to do EVERYTHING I say. Derek: I'm alive. :-D Derek: Just faking. Derek: But I could use some mouth to mouth... Liz: lol well, if you're alive enough to type, it's silly to give you mouth to mouth. Derek: Well, you could just kiss me instead.

expose yourself! Anyone See The News? [14 Dec 2003|07:57am] [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | the glorious, glorious news ] I LOVE America.

expose yourself! Awww [13 Dec 2003|09:51pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Bing Crosby <3<3 ] When my grandmom and grandpa were dating, my grandpa pretended the heat in his car didn't work so she would cuddle close to him. Isn't that the sweetest thing? :) *feeling warm and fuzzy inside* Anywho, I have a question for yous guys. Anyone have any pictures of me that they could e-mail to me? I'm sort of specifically look for pictures in which I don't look too too hideous. I know that's a difficult task, so really any pictures will do. Thanks. :)

expose yourself! Gotta Love Old People [13 Dec 2003|02:44pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Nat King Cole <3<3 ] My grandmom: "It says right here that this is the fax number, but every time I call all I hear are these beeps and funny noises."

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