teMporaRiLy*inSaNe's Blurty

Subject:	it's been awhile.
Time:	5:25 pm.
Mood:	optimistic.
Music:	"Happy Girl" by Martina McBride.

time for an update!

i've been sick the yesterday, and today. i feel like shit, but i feel worse knowing about all the hw i'm gonna need to make up, especially algebra. oh mercy me! o_O

life's tough, but it's tougher to fight it. i wish i was out of school, so i could actually enjoy life more. i want to enjoy it. i really do. i wish i could be more positive, and dare i say, happier. since i can't seem to hold on to any one religion, i don't know where to turn. it seems like i'm happier when i something to believe in. sigh. winter's tough too. i can't wait for spring.

spring!!! yes! spring brings hope! and hope is happiness. i love flowers, even though i'm allergic to them, and i love the smell of spring. and rain! oh especially rain. i want to smell the lilacs again. and open the windows! oh, i do love spring. and what's funny, is that i didn't realize that until this winter. weird. but i can remember planting flowers with my dad in the front of the house when i was littler. i'd never admit it then, but i loved it. and then! then there was planting flowers at the cabin. oh, i loved that more than anything. i love the lillies that bloom outside the front windows. they always turned a pretty orange and red, like sunsets...like beautiful sunsets. oh, how i'm getting lonesome for the cabin. i miss it there. only 60 more days til i can actually say we are at the cabin. yes. two months. woop woop! o_O

16 days til i see marianne. 60 days until we're in minnesota. anyone else notice a pattern? ho hum.

i'm starting to feel happy again. i'm really glad. that reminds me of a song!

"Oh watch me go
I’m a happy girl
And I’ve come to know
That the world won’t change
Just ’cause I complain
Let the axis twirl
I’m a happy girl"

hehe. just thought i'd add that. 'cuz it's true, i've learned it the hard way. "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!" heh, my new favorite quote.

more to come! i promise!

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Subject:	i dream of...
Time:	7:09 pm.
Mood:	peaceful.
Music:	"Do What You Have To Do" by Sarah McLachlan.

...snow! yes! i just thought i'd let you know, it's supposed to snow thursday, friday, saturday and sunday! oh yes. i love it!

not looking forword to school tomorrow, but i have no choice so i'll keep my chin up and see what happens. i'm going to expirement with this. see where it takes me if i only look on the bright side. i used to be able to do that, but i guess i've lost touch on what really matters...if that makes any sense.

every time i close my eyes, i return to minnesota, that one august day when it rained and i was down by the shore. i just can't get away from that. but it's not exactly like i've been trying to dodge it either. i'll admit, i like living safely in the thought of minnesota. i wish i could move there. there was talk of that 'round these parts all weekend. but it settled down...for now. i'd love to move there...i'll admit it. i'd love it.

for now, i'll just live safely in my dreams.

but only for now.

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