don't let the chipper title be decieving, though things are better....i feel better mentally. today it was all icy and cloudy and it snowed a little bit. which makes me happy, but it also makes me miss minnesota....i want so bad to go back to august....when it rained and was foggy and everything was so clear. i miss how the lake smells in late summer, when everyone has left to start they're lives again. thinking about it now, i miss how the summer is..i miss the way minnesota smells in summer. the way the sun shines through the trees and its warm and sunny. its hard to be depressed on those days...but i also miss the coldness of the winters. how brutal they are. how everyday it snows and the ice is thick and the clouds are cold and mean. the woods are so alive...no matter what season...the cabin has really become a place of happiness for me...which seems strange to say...i just wish i could live in the happy feeling that i when i'm there, forever. i want so bad to just go back in time and go back to that one week in august. i would trade ANYTHING to go back. i miss how everyone was happy...how everyone didn't care. everyone is so happy in the summer, and everyone is more carefree. and everyone isn't mean and angry. i don't understand why it has to be this way, but it apparently does. i miss summer. i miss the cabin. i miss my friends. i miss my life. i miss being happy. and i miss my life. i wish it wasn't so confusing like it is now. i want to go back to happier times. things are going just THAT well, that i can actually sit here and think of happier times. wow. either i need a hobby, or things suck. and personally, i'm rooting for things sucking...
i'll be waiting for a better day....i'll let you know when/if it gets here...
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sad.