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Juliann

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[24 Sep 2005|01:51am]
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sorry but most of my entries are friends only anyway ♥
3 x comments

[27 Aug 2005|12:15am]
[ mood | irritated ]

Well my day today was like a fucking roller coaster.....first a bottle of water droped out of the fridge right onto my big toe.. so i got mad then i was going around the dog and i like kicked the wall by accident (bare foot) and it was like the corner and it hurt like a bitch so i get really mad and flipped out and ripped my bead curtains down, so then i was like okay my toe is swollen but oh well.. so i drew this really cool thing for a resturant to hang up at my brothers stag that was tonight because they didnt have a sign and it came out fucking awesome it looked exactlly like the buisness card.. but then come to find out i forgot an E i was so mad... i ripped it in half... so yeah then ladeda... in between shit blah blah.. then at like 7:30 me and my mom went out to eat together so then my day was okay then my friend Brit called and said she missed me ladeda, then we had to go pick up my step dad and he was piss drunk and i hate it when he is like that because he is so fucking annoying and to me when people are alcoholics and they recover they are sober forever not just when its convinent so it just makes me madder... Then he smokes so much so i couldnt breath on the way home... i just hate having no control over a situation and everything i say doesnt matter, and i tell everyone in this house that my grandma is dying and they dont want to listen.. i dont want to be having to take care of my mom the way everyone has to take care of my grandma... but my opinion counts for shit to anyone.. so now my day sucks again.. i guess i could just go to sleep but i think im going to make some braclets... so yeah thats about it i guesss

latteeerrr.

6 x comments

[22 Aug 2005|01:02pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Dudddeee theres a fly in here... what the fuck! it landed on my cup =[... i just woke up why do flys have to fuck with me already?

3 x comments

[21 Aug 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | amused ]

oh i just shot that mother fucker down lol

2 x comments

[15 Aug 2005|08:34pm]
[ mood | content ]

Tomorrow's my Birthday!

8 x comments

[11 Aug 2005|09:32pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | Pearl Jam =] ]

I am posting this song because it reminds me of my dad. its not the whole song but this is the part that most reminds me of my mom and dads relationship. The first verse because he said alot of shit to her and he wishes he could take it back cause he wants her back now and ladeda.. so here it is....

(part) of Nothing Man by Pearl Jam

once divided...nothing left to subtract...
some words when spoken...can't be taken back...
walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking...
future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking...
caught a bolt 'a lightnin'...cursed the day he let it go...
nothingman...
nothingman...
isn't it something?
nothingman...
she once believed...in every story he had to tell...
one day she stiffened...took the other side...
empty stares...from each corner of a shared prison cell...
one just escapes...one's left inside the well...
and he who forgets...will be destined to remember...
nothingman...
nothingman...

comments

[11 Aug 2005|04:56pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

hm... i have been protesting going online but i decided to come on today. Not like it matters if im here or not because my "best friends" dont even notice to talk to me anyways....

There has been a fly flying around for the past hour.. how do they not get tired?

5 x comments

[04 Aug 2005|10:20pm]
[ mood | creative ]
[ music | Motorhead ]

Hey... made a new layout, i like it. Dimebag is the man.. may he rest in peace

4 x comments

[02 Aug 2005|11:33pm]
[ mood | shitty ]

Well I DID end up seeing Carl today and it was fun. He wasnt around for that long but still. Idk. I like him but maybe not as much as i thought.. i dont know i will have to hang out with him more to really know i guess. He is still cool and all but, idk. Maybe because i was kinda, well really, mellow today because i was kinda tired and i didnt sleep that long because i went to bed at 5 am and woke up at 12. I mean its a good sleep but i wanted to sleep longer lol... im such a bum.

anyway tomorrow im going to my dads, i dont now what im doing during the day though

Then on Thurshday im probably hanging out with my friend from Texas.

Then who knows for the rest of the week.

My life actually hasnt been complete horror lately.. i mean alot of stuff has gone wrong but some how i have been ignoring it all mostly. Like everything with my sister. The only things that really upsets me is my mom because every day when i see her she is crying. I try so hard to make her happy but it just seems like she crys so much... i dont know what to say to someone who feels they have failed as a mother and are so worried about money and feels like shit. I mean its my mom she is so important to me and i wish i could just make her pain go away. Then she crys cause she is worried about getting me a birthday present and stuff. Im like mom its not a big deal i dont want anything. Idk.. she has to pay for a wedding and bills and stuff. Thats why im so glad i will be 16 in 14 days and i will be able to look for a job then she wont have to buy me anything... idk not having money sucks cause theres stuff i want and i cant have alot of it. Like clothes i really need some and i cant get them cause im to scared to ask and we cant afford them. Like we got some stuff for school. but 2 pairs of jeans arent going to do. All my other ones i like have holes and stuff in them so.. yeah oh well...

Well i guess i will be going now...

Later.

3 x comments

[02 Aug 2005|02:25am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Hm well im bored so i guess i will update...

Tomorrow i might see Carl
<3

Idk.. having crushes suck... im bored i stay up late and wake up late. Im a loser. Ladeda.

What did i do today?...

Oh yeah.. i wope up cause someone wanted to know if i wanted popcorn.. well i didnt "wake up" i got woken up. But yeah that was like almost 12.. Then i watched TV and called my friend and hung out with her and then came home and went to my dads.. and then came home.. and did nothing and that brings me to right now. im just talking to some people and typing in here... yeah how interesting. My friends dog had puppies there so cute!!!! I love dogs, i love all animals... oh my i feel a hyperness comming on.. maybe im over tired. i didnt sleep that long last night. I know it probably seems like i did cause i woke up around 12 but no not really.... god im going on about nothing again...

so anyway

Im supposed to go to my cousins tomorrow and Carl will probably be around. but it wont be the same as when we went to vermont because we went around and did stuff alone and there will be other people there so it wont be as fun. But i dont know i shouldnt get excited cause i dont know if i will see him but i hope so cause i really like him.. ah im sounding like a little giggly girl

oh jeeze i need some sleep... maybe not.

uh okay
bye

2 x comments

[01 Aug 2005|01:32am]
[ mood | blah ]

Yeah well i came back from Vermont today (well yesterday if you want to get all technical and such but i have yet to go to bed so it is still today) ha anyway.. it was fun i love it there. I rode my quad alot my neck and back hurt but oh well it was worth it... There is only one problem.

I got to thinking when i was up there.. about this boy i like. We get along really good but i have seen him in a while and i miss him alot.. I dont know im not good at the boyfriend thing because im not confident and all that nice stuff. But i like him so friggen much it sucks. and people say it seems like we like each other and i dont know. Its weird cause he is all jokey and stuff but we talked and i told him alot of stuff and he told me alot of stuff and i brought out the serious, sensitve side in him that no one seems to know. I dont know he is really sweet. *sigh* I guess when i see him (hopefully soon) it will be come clearer.

I think I think way to much.. if that made and sence.

Im tired but i dont want to sleep. I have nightmares way to much. It sucks kinda. Jeeze.

I have a head ache. What else is new..

I have a new hobbie. Making hemp braclets one day i just did it and now i do it all the time. I love making them lol. And everyone wants one now.

I have a feeling im going to have to fight with my dad. I dont want too but some stuff needs to be said. Im sick of the bull shit and the only way i will feel better about it all is to get it out.

someone just told me that cheese gives them a migrane. To me that is rather dumb but i dont know much so yeah. Weird.

Well im going to stop rambling.. even though that is obviously what i do best.

2 x comments

[24 Jul 2005|01:44am]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | fan... ha ]

Hm well i have to start updating this thing.. so what did i do today.. woke up. Hung out with friends, played poker, and made a shrine of Angelina Jolie... ha

Angelina is hot sex

anyway...

I was thinking alot today. Im going to be an aunt and my step sister might be having twins.. so then im going to have 3 little neices or nephews in the matter of one month. Craziness. Its exciting.

Yeah so my dad is an asshole once again. He cant be cool for more than a week. I called him today and i blew him off just like he did to me. He didnt like that, i wanted him to take me to see Devils Rejects.. now im pissed! Ofcourse we probably woulndt have went because he would have forgotten he said he would go and then made an excuse. But he shouldnt have to do anything with me or buy me anything, cause he pays child support.. well good for you asshole.

Man i hope when i find love it will be with someone who i will be with forever so then my kids dont have to go threw this shit.

Well there is nothing i really want to update about so laterr.

4 x comments

[16 Jul 2005|01:19am]
[ mood | awake ]

Yeah well i changed my journal again.. i think it looks alot better now and it is very bright.. woo hoo?

comments

[15 Jul 2005|09:48pm]
i changed my layout again... this looks HORRIBLE... gotta fix this madness lol
comments

[15 Jul 2005|04:43pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Jeeze i have not updated this thing in foreverrr.. i think im going to use it move privatley to talk with people i dont know not like livejournal i use with my friends.. well woo hoo? new layout i put on today diffrent from the one from lke a year ago.. haha

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[31 Dec 2004|12:49pm]
damn.. i havent written in here forever and this is really weird writting in here.. woah
comments

[14 Aug 2004|02:50pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Pantera - CFH ]

Hm yeah so nothing has been really going on im getting my drums YAY im SOOOO happy.... it comes with bass drum and petel, 2 cybolls, 2 tims and a floor tom and a snare... i have to get a double base petel cause those things are cool... yeah so latley i have just been hanging out with people... Laura, Jenny, and Amber... yeah nothing really interestng to talk about.. and today im going to Alyssa's party i dont write in this thing as much as i used to i just dont really have a reason too and im not bored enough... i actually have done alot of things this summer... well thats it for now buh bye.. oh and i made a new layout it is girly lol... but its cool i guess
- Julie-

2 x comments

[08 Aug 2004|08:12pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | - Smashing Pumpkins- ]

uh yes i took the link out of my journal cause honestly i dont want people reading up on me... yeah well some people might know it already and if you do then fine read it all you want.. btu if you dont then good... so anywho for the people who are seeing this feel free to still comment... its fine :)... yeah well reason for taking it out is to much shit going on...

First of all.. why does life have to be so screwed up?i mean there is no having happiness....My sister is gone and i dont think it is temporary, it is tearing up my mom and hurting me too.. i dont want to see them like this.. i love them both with all my heart and when they hurt so do i. I miss her being around i mean today i hung out with her but it is weird, she told me to tell my mom that she loves her but my mom gave me this look and said yeah right. I try to help and tell her that isnt true but i hear things from both of them.. i mean i cant be the hero all the time. It is so much pressure. I wanna live my life. Sometimes that seems impossible. I also feel the pressure cause my mom is always saying im what keeps her going and stuff then she is buying me all this stuff and i tell her that im not going anywhere i dont want alot of stuff. I think she has a fea of me slipping away from her like my sister is. I would never do what she is doing. I dont understand people are so cold.

So enough about that im having those suicidal thoughts again. I mean life just sucks i thought it was getting better but i know it isnt so why live... whatever.. well there isnt much to say i guess just more mixed emotions... so later

comments

[06 Aug 2004|01:44pm]
[ mood | distressed ]
[ music | [[Metallica- Creeping Death]] ]

Well havent written in a while.. on weseday i went to my dads and then slept over kaitis house it was cool... we played monopoly for hours... and just did stuff... went to bed at like 4... then yesterday i went school shopping with my mom it was cool i got some stuff.. and yeah i was just trying to make her happy and less upset about stuff

Well shit in this house isnt too good right now either...my sister moved out cause of shit going on... and im scared that we are going to get distant.. hopefully she will be back but josh is moving her suff out like her bed and big shit out right now so i dont know... this is really fucked up i guess. yeah my mom is really upset but hidding it and she said she is just tired of getting treated shit.. which i can undersatnd but i dont wanna lose my siter.. i mean we were starting to get really close.. and then dumb shit like this has to happen.. its always something.. so she came to get more of her stuff today and i talked to her and she said she wouldnt forget about me and all this shit.. and i dont know iu just cryed to her i guess.. its hard. but o well.. i mean people think that they would be happy to have there siblings moved out but me and jess were really close and this is just so fucked up im so angry right now... o well i cant complain alot i guess.. cause nothing is going to change nothing ever gets better.. its always new bull shit and im sick of it...

yeah so im going to new couseling probably JUST ME... my mom called this place and they said they would do individual couseling.. So that should be good hopefully nothing bad happens. i wanna go to VT and bring my cousin.. George and his mom are going today and i want to go but my mom isnt so i wanna be here with her and for her... yes well nothing much else to say i guess

Later

comments

[02 Aug 2004|04:55pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

yes so haent written in a few days... on saturday i went to Lake Compounce with Kaiti.. yeah we were supposed to meet brittany and her little friends there... but she like was being a bitch i dont know why so we walked away and then we came back trying to be nice again, lets just say it didnt work and then i got into a fught online with some girl w.e yes so anyway.. and yeah that shit sucked but me and Miss. Ramos had fun.. we get held hostage on a ferris wheel tho.. we were on there for like a half hour.. and then we took the sky ride.. kinda scary but it was ok... yes and that all to that night.. it was fun ...

Then yesterday i went to my dads house.. and then went and slept at my cousins house it was fun.. mmhmm we wathed a movie and then today we jammed lol.. i was playing the drums and he was playing the guitar.. and i learned some Nirvana on the guitar.. and then i made up my own drum beat for another song but it sounded right so i dont care.. and then i had to leave there ot go to the orthodotics.. and here i am bored.. yeah there is something wrong with mymom.. she isnt telling me tho.. w.e not much i can do i guess and im kinda in a pissy mood so yeah w.e well thats it so
Later

1 x comments

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