Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Death on Two Legs' Blurty:

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Thursday, March 30th, 2006
10:31pm 03/30/2006	I hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you and i will assassinate you if it's the last fucking thing i ever fucking do. you are going down, bitch. hear me?
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Sunday, March 26th, 2006
12:40am 03/26/2006	Enetohone: Auto response from ThunderSnowing: throwing up. Enetohone: once again please be ok ThunderSnowing: sorry ThunderSnowing: back Enetohone: why sorry? ThunderSnowing: for puking ThunderSnowing: i dunno Enetohone: if anything you should be sorry of apologizing for throwing up, now i just feel bad ThunderSnowing: stop feeling bad Enetohone: i dont get why you apologized for being sick ThunderSnowing: me either Enetohone: and how am i suposed to stop feeling bad ThunderSnowing: theres no reason for you to be so Enetohone: ok.. Enetohone: you+sick=bad Enetohone: you+bad things=me feel bad and want to help ThunderSnowing: me + sick = daily life Enetohone: not being able to help=feel like shit ThunderSnowing: not being able to help = help not necessary in most cases Enetohone: it just hurts me not bein able to help people ThunderSnowing: i cant believe my rabbits dead Enetohone: how old has nickel Enetohone: was ThunderSnowing: 6 and a half ThunderSnowing: i found her Enetohone: when you got her, or you found her... ThunderSnowing: i found her dead Enetohone: are you going to be ok tonight ThunderSnowing: it was yesterday Enetohone: still... ThunderSnowing: im fine Enetohone: shit i just realised something Enetohone: why i try to help people so much ThunderSnowing: why Enetohone: i couldnt help my grandfather, but when we found him i had to call the paramedics and take care of my mom Enetohone: and after trying to help her through it, and not being able to hlep him, i try to jsut take in other peoples pain so that they can be ok ThunderSnowing: that doesnt mean you have to help everyone else all the time ThunderSnowing: its proven that trying to take other peoples pain makes it worse for them Enetohone: sicne when Enetohone: who Enetohone: when something happens the first thing most people do is look for a sholder to cry on Enetohone: and if they dont they only get more fucked up ThunderSnowing: but what happens when theres no one else around to cry to Enetohone: then you become introverted Enetohone: and it keeps building up and hurting ThunderSnowing: not necessarily ThunderSnowing: if there is actually no one there, it helps itself. people can sort themselves out sometimes Enetohone: temporarily, unles you get closure ThunderSnowing: sometimes talking about something or adressing the issue makes it worse Enetohone: at the moment but inthe long run it helps ThunderSnowing: not really ThunderSnowing: talking about some things brings up bad memories that would be better off left on the cutting room floor Enetohone: ok ThunderSnowing: thank you. Enetohone: thank you? ThunderSnowing: for giving up Enetohone: I DONT GET YOYU Enetohone: im not trying to compeet Enetohone: or win ThunderSnowing: thank you for giving up that argument. Enetohone: or anything Enetohone: jsut HELP ThunderSnowing: thats what i dont get about YOU ThunderSnowing: HELP SUCKS Enetohone: but some how that ofends you Enetohone: if more people helped the world wouldnt be sch a shitty place ThunderSnowing: example: vietnam war. Enetohone: ? ThunderSnowing: america gets involved in something it shouldnt have, attempting to help ThunderSnowing: end result: fucked up. Enetohone: WWII Enetohone: save the jews Enetohone: and those were bad examples ThunderSnowing: ok Enetohone: huricane katrina aid, donating blood/organs ThunderSnowing: fuck hurricane katrina Enetohone: what ThunderSnowing: fuck hurricane katrina Enetohone: ? Enetohone: why that made no sence to me at all ThunderSnowing: the police were shooting people because they were "looting", and some of them were just trying to get shit for their families ThunderSnowing: ended up dead ThunderSnowing: the antisolution Enetohone: ok well i need to et up at 7 tomorow and can barely type so i cind need to go to sleep Enetohone: hope you ahd fun arguing ThunderSnowing: right then
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Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
02:42pm 03/15/2006	I was supposed to go to Rider last night for that awards thingy. Instead I spent a half hour in the Student Center parking lot puking my brains out. YAY! Stayed home from school today because I still felt like shit. Collected incriminating information. Looked at a car. Might buy it. Today is Justin's 1 year, 4 month anniv. =[ miss him more than anything. Current Mood: violent Current Music: Andrew Lloyd Webber
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Monday, March 6th, 2006
09:17pm 03/06/2006	Dear World... I AM QUEEN OF THE FUCKUPS, HEAR ME ROAR. Current Mood: cynical
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Saturday, March 4th, 2006
01:08pm 03/04/2006	California's lonely, just like the rest of the world It's Saturday afternoon and I'm disgusted with myself. I was told to fuck off. None too pleased with that. Even if it isn't because of me I hate when people are mad at me. =[ Current Mood: unhappy Current Music: S.E.S.
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Monday, May 16th, 2005
12:59am 05/16/2005	done. sorry dave. http://www.livejournal.com/users/i_marriedmurder/ love it.
2 Got high +Take another hit
12:07am 05/16/2005	stolen from Amanda A Y E A R ago, 1. I was blonde 2. I was skinnier 3. I was like the most straightedge kid ever 4. I didn't have a cell phone. 5. I had a boyfriend for like a week. Y E S T E R D A Y, I: 1. had fun 2. went to the mall 3. restrained myself 4. watched TV 5. listened to music T O D A Y, I: 1. slept until 11 2. got in a fight with my parents 3. bought new bras (stop growing, damnit!) 4. took a shower 5. listened to the new fall out boy cd Five things I would B U Y with $10,000: 1. a lifetime supply of skittles 2. a car 3. a horse 4. band shirts 5. a laptop Top five L O C A T I O N S I'd like to run away to: 1. old bridge 2. doylestown 3. my old neighborhood 4. the churchyard 5. layla's house Five things that S C A R E you: 1. people 2. care bears 3. closets with their doors open just a little bit 4. dying alone 5. the dark (even though I love it) Five things that make you L A U G H: 1. books 2. funny pictures 3. my friends 4. caffeine 5. being angry (If I'm mad and I start laughing, RUNNNNNNN!) Five things you H A T E: 1. little biting bugs 2. most girls 3. most boys 4. school 5. people who piss me off Five things in your R O O M: 1. bed 2. computer 3 clothes 4. bookshelf 5. mirror Right N O W you are: 1. waiting for my hair to dry 2. bored outta my skull 3. typing 4. listening to music 5. tapping my foot Two things you plan to do before you D I E ?: 1. fuck someone so much that they have to go to the hospital...i mean...world peace? 2. meet Dar Williams Five things you C A N do well: 1. ride horses 2. draw 3. sing (sort of) 4. write 5. bitch people out Five things you C A N T do: 1. sew 2. whistle 3. play sports 4. keep my balance 5. drive Three things you M I S S : 1. Justin 2. Justin 3. Justin Three travel Destinations 1. England 2. Ireland 3. London, Ohio Current Mood: bored Current Music: Placebo <3
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Thursday, May 12th, 2005
03:16pm 05/12/2005	I am angry about so many things. I feel it boiling up in my chest and I know that its going to burst out soon if I don't try to write some of it down. The problem is I don't know where to begin, or what to write about first. I want to cry, but then I'm so angry I just let my blood boil instead and I stare off into space with rage flickering through my eyes.
3 Got high +Take another hit
Saturday, May 7th, 2005
12:54pm 05/07/2005	stolen poetry? Ohhh I think so. The need to cry The quake in the stomach tension in the neck And the lump in my throat The burn I think I fell in love the other day But I think I woke up saw a picture of you Remembered that feeling I think I remember that funny smile you made at me But forgot to look at it long enough, so I could capture it Lock it in my memory So I’m still not too sure (It reminded me.) Current Mood: tired Current Music: .::*Blindside*::.
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
07:40pm 04/19/2005	... I seem to impart unhappiness wherever I go. Ugh.
1 Got high +Take another hit
Friday, April 15th, 2005
11:17pm 04/15/2005	I have no social date. :(
2 Got high +Take another hit
Thursday, April 14th, 2005
09:16pm 04/14/2005	p.s. oh yes. and thanks for not even saying bye to me when you left. did it seem like i was ignoring you? because uh I wasn't. i was watching you whenever you weren't looking in my direction and wishing you were talking to me because you were the only person in that room that i really knew. you're hiding something from me. maybe. ugh. humans suck.
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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
04:25pm 04/13/2005	so... so today was silent day. i didn't talk all day. then (as layla pointed out) when we were allowed to talk again, i really had nothing to say. Hung out with Alex when i got kicked out of B114 by mr. fader. Why did he kick me out? cuz im not an editor. and he doesnt want people who arent editors to be around when theyre picking things. who the fuck cares? i cant do anything with the information i get, especially if im not talking. Anyway, we wandered around and talked for a while till layla got out. I learned a few things, contemplated a few things, dot dot dot etc. I'm hungry. I'll be back. Current Mood: blah Current Music: .::*mr brightside*::.
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Sunday, April 10th, 2005
11:42pm 04/10/2005	blah blah blah you got your lovey dovey sad and lonely... Today was so good. I'll preface it by saying that the last 2 days were especially wonderful. Hanging out with Ash and Justin was so much fun. I have a newfound appreciation for shoplifters, veterans park, and very very small windows. Oh. And clasians. Well. Today I decided that I missed Rob. Yup. He was lying right next to me, and I missed him. And I almost wanted to cry. I don't understand myself. Ugh. It was just like the first time, only magnified tenfold. Everything still kind of seems unrealistic. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: .::*MSI*::.
2 Got high +Take another hit
Thursday, April 7th, 2005
07:35pm 04/07/2005	blah Yesterday rocked. Today sucked cuz i had a migrane. Otherwise it would have rocked too. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: None, my head hurts too much
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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
11:06pm 03/31/2005	Lo siento... and I mean it. I didn't expect that it would hurt quite this much... but it does. And I feel like I screwed you over. I'm so sorry. Even though you'll never read this. I don't know what I'm going to do. You're one of my best friends and I fucked it up. I didn't mean to. (I made him cry. I'm such a fucking horrible person.) I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I fuck everything up. I always fuck everything up. I'm sorry. Current Mood: Horrible. Current Music: Jack off Jill/Scarling
3 Got high +Take another hit
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
08:17pm 03/30/2005	brienna dawn weldon is my love. she likes cleaning stuff. she lives in ohio. she told me to update this with something about her. happy bri?
1 Got high +Take another hit
06:51pm 03/30/2005	Mommy, why do they call it the big apple? You can't eat it... I went to NYC again with my mom (dad came too but didn't talk all day). I had a lot of caffeine in me first of all, so everything seemed happy. Then when we went to Washington Square Park, I saw a boy who looked almost exactly like Conor Oberst, so that was happy too. I recorded pretty much the whole day in my new journaly thing that Mom bought me yesterday. Then then caffeine wore off on the train ride home... and some guy asked me if I could please take my feet off his seat, and it became my new life goal to kill him. "One day," says wendy, "Pat and I heard him. He was singing real low. He did NOT want us to hear it. We put our ears to the door and we both looked at each other, wrinkled up our noses, and said 'better stick to the guitar'" --Wendy Cobain, on Kurt's singing abilities Current Mood: drained Current Music: .::*Chevelle*::.
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
10:53pm 03/29/2005	Hehe! I'm so happy right now. It's not even explainable. Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: the TV, keyboard keys clicking...
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03:59pm 03/29/2005	On the bright side, she could choke I just got back from Barnes and Noble a little while ago. My mom bought me 2 books and a journal. I love being a spoiled brat. Bah. My bruise hurts. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: .::*blindside*::.
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