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Jon Lee

[ website | parp ]
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[04 Nov 2002|01:13am]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | Portishead - Revenge Of The Number ]

This is the most stressed out I've been since getting ready for our last tour. I don't mind being busy. I love to work, if anything I go crazy without it. It's the not knowing that's really starting to bug me. I'm scared about Jo and how her back's going to heal. It sounds bad and all our managers care about is how it'll affect the promotion. I have felt like walking out on our record company so many times this month and never looking back. We don't really need this shit. We have a new album coming out this month in the UK and Canada, then our first album since "7" coming out in the U.S. in December. Of course we're excited about that but our people are psychotic about it. If they're even thinking about putting Jo to work before she's ready I'm tearing someone a new asshole. I need to fucking relax. I think I'll call Paul.

I try to put myself in his shoes sometimes when I'm justifying why he left the band. Times like these I can understand it. But when we're on stage or talking to fans I can't really. I have all the respect in the world for him for being able to do it. Even if I wanted to leave I don't think I'd be brave enough to. It feels as if there are so many people counting on us who've put so much on the line. Even if all they see when they look at us is dollar signs. There are the fans too. All they know is that our music makes them feel something. I keep telling myself that's worth it. But the more we get into this the more the business aspect starts to take over. It's unnerving. It's complicated. And the fans don't know or give a shit about that part. If we broke up they'd feel let down. That's enough for me.

I'm going to make new icons. That'll calm my nerves. This was a rare update which was more about myself than it was Alex. Don't get used to it, or the correct punctuation. That tends to happen when I'm angry.

EDIT: This is me in drag.

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[03 Nov 2002|08:28am]
[ mood | impressed ]
[ music | Pearl Jam - Alive ]

whatever Alex did it could not have been so stupid, because he is Alex after all. I am completely smashed out of my mind right now. and I may have said much more than I should have tonight. but you know as long as it works out in the end. I keep skipping each song on my playlist, waiting for that one good one to come on but it never does. I may be sick of everything tonight. I think I miss Alex. I should stop talking about him someday. the day he stops being the most amazing man alive.

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[31 Oct 2002|03:37pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]
[ music | Buffy ]

I just told Amanda Latona she should switch careers and become a stripper. Why she'd be offended I have no idea.

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this is my sexy feeling icon. [31 Oct 2002|09:39am]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | Celine Dion - Because You Loved Me ]

I haven't gone to sleep yet. I'm so tired my body's beginning to ache but I have to write about this. I don't mind being a one night. I don't mind being a toy. I think all I'd really mind would be being forgotten. It's not as if I'll ever forget the words or the touch or the looks, or anything about you at all. I could have said all this a week ago. Nothing's changed for me. Don't bother asking me why, I'm the person who least understands. Don't bother wondering if I'm thinking about you. I am.

I don't have anything else to say. Eliza Dushku is an annoying cunt. And yes, I really am listening to this and quite enjoying it. Don't act so surprised.

6 comments|post comment

[28 Oct 2002|11:23pm]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | Blur - Chemical World ]

I'd love to update you all on myself and the band but I can not. My mind is consumed with Alex James. He may fantasize about me tonight and just the idea of that excites me. I have to go do my thing now. I love Alex. Goodnight.

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[28 Oct 2002|05:47am]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | Oasis - Supersonic ]

If I were even a smidge alive right now I'd think about writing something here.

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