last night's show in salt lake was amazing. i never realized how wonderful it is to be part of something so special. when i was away i felt like i was missing a part of the magic. a special, important part of my life. i realize now that this is something i could contine to for many years to come. whether or not that will happen, that's up to the future. right now, i am enjoying this opportunity that has been given to me. i'm living a dream.
tonight i'm on a flight to california to do my pixar gig. wish me luck. this may or may not be the start of a new and interesting career. but like touring, it's an opportunity that is being presented to me and i will run with it until it's time to make a decision. i have a meeting tomorrow with the blue suits in the morning to discuss a contract and the possibilities of my future employment with their company.
i think, regardless of the offer, i will stay on tour, do the sin city projects and go back to new york and open my tattoo shop. a career sounds nice... but my heart will forever be in tattooing. money isn't everything, it's happiness and satisfaction that i am after.
but who knows what may happen, it's too early to tell yet.
i ran into a guy, a former friend, from california when i used to live there. he recognized me instantly, jumped on my back and was ecstatic to say hello. greg, is his name but he prefers to go by reggie, i never knew why... never bothered to ask. he's about 5'6, mohawk, tattoos galore, i would've never recognized him from the grungy, punk kid i knew years ago. i met him at a punk rock show and almost broke his nose, an accident of course, he laughed it off and we've run into each other every so often ever since. we caught up briefly, gave me his number and told me to call him next time i'm in the slc.
it amazes me how beautiful this world can be in all of it's differences. to think about new york and chicago and then sit looking out the window at the landscape of idaho, all completely different atmospheres, all equally beautiful in their own way. it's calming to know that there is something so different out there in the world. that we can have a change of scenery and still be hipnotized by the beauty of what this world offers. it's simple, never to be touched by a growing population and a need for the continuous growth of buildings. the untouched earth that gives us life and allows us to continue to live. to see it in it's purity is an amazing and breathtaking thing.
this world offers us so much. beauty for the eyes, the heart, the mind. it's stimulating and freeing.
beauty is everywhere, in everything. we just need to feel it with our hearts and then see it with our eyes.
i slept for a little bit and doing that time i dreampt of a car ride through the forest. i wasn't driving, i don't know who was, i couldn't make out any features. small drops of rain that formed on my window and through the watermarks i kept my eyes on the landscape as we passed by. the colors of the trees blurred together as my company pressed harder on the gas pedal. soon the trees would become painting. i stood in front of it in a white gallery. a sculpture to my right of a man, in the nude, sitting on bench with a sheet draped across his torso and a painting of a woman with yellow eyes accented by beautiful colors behind her hanging on the wall to my left. there was a soft voice in the background, vaguely familiar. a voice i've only heard briefly, an accent i've never heard in person before but when i turned around, the room slowly faded into colors, there was no one there, no more paintings on the wall.. i was alone. and then i awoke on a subway train, 5th avenue stop and the bustle of people exited and entered the train. across from me was a man, a man who was familiar, a long beard, a black hat, a suit. he reminded me a grandfather figure. he looked at me with his hazel eyes and i felt a world of sadness. i finally understood a little more about my father and the way he grew up. i don't know how, just by the look of his eyes but i knew. the subway train stopped and i stepped off, went up the stairs and the busy streets of manhattan turned into a moonlite beach. i stopped, sat down and glanced over the water and stared at the moon. it was then that i longed for the touch of a companion. i felt at peace but i was alone and i didn't want to be alone anymore. i feel asleep on that beach and awoke on the balcony of someone's apartment. i stood up and looked out across the scenery of the city mixed with the country and i felt calm. i remember a smile coming across my face as i felt someone's arms wrap around me... when i turned around.. they were gone. the dream ended with me sitting on my couch, in my brooklyn apartment with jack, watching a movie. i feel asleep in the dream and finally woke up in reality.
i haven't had a dream like that in some time. i'm relieved that i still can.