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Friday, September 24th, 2004
10:13 am - ...
I guess I can’t let go because I’ve already tried. I know you’re good for me but I can’t take you. I’d take you for granted and I’d tear you apart. And I know I can’t stand to break some one else’s heart. You mean so much to me and yet you’ll never know. And I can’t blame anyone but myself for this…because I will never let it show…

current mood: heartbroken
current music: *under the moon* ICP

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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
11:37 am - *hiccup*
Wow so I guess it's been a while. I dunno not much is really going on with me right now I'm not like in the mood for shit right now. I went out with Nick last nite. I'm supposed to hang out with Nick, Sarah, Justin, and Tara today. Justin is 18 and I just met him yesterday. He's...interesting to say the least. Xavier is running for homecomming king or something...lol that should be some fun shit right there. And my ex b/f Nova is too. But exavier so gets my vote. Well other then that I miss sammie. I went to browns to get some food n she wasn't there n I was like fuck that. She met sarah the other nite. I luff sarah. Her n sammie are so fun together I swaer to god. They are like ummm...not all there! Well anyways I'm gonna go I just wanted to update n stuff cuz I'm not dead!

current mood: calm
current music: *Black Rain* Dark lotus

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Saturday, August 28th, 2004
11:19 pm - Ta
Ya know what I think is funny...how you were talking just as much shit about her as I was and now all of a sudden I was wrong and shes your best friend. Yea, that makes me giggle. Ya know what else is funny? She talked shit about you too. And so does he...I find it funny how you can't give it up yet.



Alexa and Mim came over today. I loved it. We had a lot of nice "sober" fun. My mom stood at the top of the stairs and asked what we were doing and I was like " Smoking weed" and she was like " haha diana very funny" and I told her fine then don't say I didn't tell you the truth. They know I do it...I just think they don't want to admitt it to themselves yet. Denial gets you thro everything...


Dan's g/f came to school and tried to whoop Jeanettes ass. Ha...good times.

current mood: high
current music: * What comes around* Ill Nino

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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
9:37 am - The last of the mohicans
Well it's been a while. Blurty gets no love I guess. I started school. Bleh. I mean I go to highschool monday thro friday until 11:50 and I go beauty school from 1 to 5:30 and all that shit. And then Saturdays I go to beauty school 9 to 5:30 som I'm there all damn day. It sucks lol. I'm kinda stressed out because of all that but I mean I'll figure out some way to relieve some stress. I'm freezing. My hands hurt and all that shit I'm like grrrr. Sunday is my only day off and then even then I'm like whatever all I can do is clean and all that bullshit. So basically I have no fun. My car is pooped out. So I have no clue what to freakin do now. I just need...to go somewhere. Id on't feel like being here. Everyone is fighting and treating my grandma like shit. And she has nothing to do with anything. She's trying to please everyone and they all get pist off at her when they don't get what they want. And it's not her damn fault. I feel so bad for her. Well I have to go cuz my mom is bitchinng at me...big suprise

current mood: exanimate
current music: * Silence* mudvayne

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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
9:15 pm - I'm finna get this hoe
Well it's been awhile since I'ce been able to update. I've been either busy with school or at Scotts. Scott...wpwzers. Well asdie from that I went to a hotel thing with Jen...never gonna do that again...rape is eleagle and some one should tell people that. That was the worst nite of my life. Well anyways went shopping today. That's about it. I don't have much to say I'm not in the mood. Well c u all later

current mood: high
current music: *Spin the bottle* ICP

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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
10:08 pm - But you'll never be as perfect whatever you do
Well today was interesting. I guess you never know how usefull a thumb is until you lose it lmao! I cut a huge chunk outta my thumb today. It sucked. And no I didn't cut myself with the razor or the sheares or the clippers, I cut myself on the thinning shears. Which are like...closed ended and like...it takes som talent to cut urself on those. I mean I was just cutting along and then I like cut my thumb. And I cut it bad cuz it was like gushing blood. I got blood everywhere. It was funny now that I think about it. But omg if you like pull my skin like the whole corner of my thumb comes out. its so fuckin gross. And like everyone was all freaked out. Well then after all that I wqent to Chrissy's with Chrissy, Kelly, and Elise. And Chrissy dyed my hair. It's pretty awwww! And then Kelly and me went and picked up katie and Josh Linsi. I have not seen Josh Linsi in for freaking ever. And like holy shit! He goes out with Kelly now. And like I dated him for a long time..like about 7 months. It was so freakin weird to see him. And he didnt really recognize me...I look a lot different then I used to when I dated him. Omg it was freakin weird. BUt it was good times. So then we drove around and I hadda come home and then Ryan came over and he's gonna stay the nite again. I think my grandparents are finally realizing he's not really gay. Because my grammy said she does't think it's a good idea for him to stay the nite anymore...but whatever we'll see what happens. Well I'm really tired n I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow so I'm gonna go lay down with my gay boyfriend lol. Well C u all laters I hope. NITE NITE!!!

current mood: exhausted
current music: * S(ain't)* Manson

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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
9:17 pm - Some CREATURE has just swam up my pants
Monday was weird. Ryan asked me back out. I said yes but all of a sudden it don't feel right. I mean I still like him a lot and everything like the happiness is still there...I just have the weirdest feeling that something isn't right. I guess cuz what's her face is trying to be my friend saying that she never did any of that shit to my house or my fucking car. WHATEVER SKANK! But I'm not gonna fuck myself over with Ryan. I am cwazy about him and he makes me feel so...like...undescribable. And I just wanna like lay there in his arms and never move. Because it's the only place I feel like I'm welcome too. We agreed to take things slow. Cuz I'm not all about jumping into a serious thing. I mean it kinda feels like I can with him but I don't want to cuz I'm not sure I'm ready to trust anyone again. Ya know? But I'm gonna be with him cuz I am SO fuckin sick and tired of giving up my happiness for other people...even if I love, would u kindly fuck urself? I mean there isn't a danm thing in the world I wouldn't do for some of my friend...well most of them. But I'm tired of not being happy. Ryan makes me happy and I havn't been happy for a long time now. So I'm taking it for whats it's worth. Which brings me to Dan...cuz omg! Ok so I was like extremely feeling umm...yea and so I went to Dans house n chilled with him and we ended up doing it. Well see the whole thing was that I liked him and he liked me but we were both on the rebound and thats why we agreed that there would be no like attatchments it was just...basically sex I guess. I mean yea we cuddled and I ended up falling asleep and not getting home on time. I was like 5 hours late lol. Well then after that Dan kept asking me back out n shit and I'm like DUDE!!! NO!!! We said it wouldn't be like this. Which ok yea one nite stand make me feel like a skank but he was the first and last. Well he got back with his ex g.f. And she works at thatone hot dog place and she and I were talking cuz she took her lunch break and I was on mine so we ate together. And we were talking and she told me that she feels really worried that dan and I spend 8 and a hlaf hours a day together cuz I was his first. I almost choked to death. Dan did NOT tell me he'd never had sex before. And if he had I wouldn't have done it! So now I feel 30572957309586039458 times more skanky then I did before. So then I kinda realized why he was acting so clingy to me. And I felt so bad. So then I was thinking about it. And it was kinda obvious. Cuz he was really like...carefull and like sentimental and like really...passionate. So now I'm feeling like shit. And she didn't know that he didn't tell me. I mean this girl and Dan have been together for about 3 years...come on dude you would think that he woulda got some. Well SHES waiting until she's at least engaged but she wants to wait until marriage. So now I just totally fucked her over. Well then she told me that it doesn't bother her because she knows the basis for it. And I'm sorry but if I knew my ex b/f screwed some chick cuz he was on the rebound I'd be like HELL NO BITCH DIE and I'd kill that skank...lmao woah...that whole situation just sounded REALLY familiar lmao cept I didn't kill her I don't really feel like it anymore! It's all good. Well I guess she like wanted me to assure her that I didn't want him back because she feels he would leave her at the drop of a dime if I wanted him back. And ya know I've been wehre she's been. And I told her about Ryan and about how much I like him. So she knows that I don't want Dan. BUt wow I had no clue that he was...ya know...so then when I went back to lunch I like couldnt even look him in the eyes...like I couldn't stand to be near him at all and I avoided him at all costs. It was so strange. How do you say sorry for somethng like that? Wow. I told Ryan about it. Cuz I mean I had too, besides Dan and Travis are firend so he'd find out anyways. Why create un needed drama? Rite? RITE! So anyways I talk to him about it and he was saying like that I should find some way to talk to Dan about it and let him know how I feel. And I'm like umm no. But Ryan totally understands how I feel all weirded out. And hes not like mad at me or anything. Which I dunno why I'd be like all timid and stuff about making him mad cuz I'm thro taking the balme for other peoples problems and ager issues. Been there done that so moved on! Well anyways I think that I really enjoyed talking to Dan's g/f about it all. Cuz I mean she was real sweet about it and she reminds me of me when I found out that shit about that one guy and that one chick. So it was good times. She's cool and she's gonna go with me to Hanson instead of Ryan just because I know Ryan doesn't want to go and she does. So good times. He said he's " oh so sad he can't go see hanson with me" I was rollin he's a fuckin freak I heart that boy. Well he's gonna stay the night with me tonight cuz I'm a G like that. So I'm gonna go lay down n watch some moooovies with him. Talk to yall later!!!! *mwah*

current mood: predatory
current music: * *SuperMan* Eminem...wow how appropriate is this song now

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Monday, August 9th, 2004
10:01 pm - Gah.
ya know people really need to not piss me off. I'm ever so fucking sorry that I'm not what you want me to be and that I can't do enough to fucking please you bitches. No I'm not fucking beautiful and no I'm not fuckin smart and no I'm not fucking organized and no I'm not some one you can be proud of. I'm me. And I'll never be anything spectacular and I'll never make you laugh or make you happy or make satisfy you in the slightest bit. I'm fat and stupid and lazy and useless and ya know what? I'm gonna be FAT AND LAZY AND STUPID AND USELESS AND UGLY FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE. I'm really terribly sorry that I don't smoke pot everyday of my life and I'm sorry I didn't drop out of highschool my sophmore year and I'm sorry I don't get strait A's and I'm sorry I'll never be prom queen and I'm sorry I'll never be on the hnor roll and I'll never miss teen queen and no I'm not gonna get married cuz I can never make anyone happy enough to spend their lives with me. And no I'm not gonna have kids because I'll turn them into horrid little monsters and drive them to kill themselves by the age of 17. I'm sorry I had an abortion and you can't bear to look at my face anymore. Not that you ever really could. I'm sorry that my life is more fucked up and complicated then yours was at age 17. I'm sorry you're dissappointed in me for haveing sex with 2 fucking people. One that I happened to date for a year and a fucking half! I'm sorry that I drive everyone away and I don't let people get close to me anymore. I'm sorry I'm not your little girl who swallows every piece of shit you fucking feed me now. I'm sorry that my room is awlays messy and my clothes are always wrinkled and that my grades are only a "B" average. I'm sorry you waste 530 dollars a month on me for cosmotology school when u just know I'm gonna fuck it all up in the end. I'm sorry I'm not worht the 2 fucking seconds it takes to say " I love you" or the 3 fucking seconds it takes for you to hug your own daughter/granchild/sister. I'm sorry that I have my own way of doing things and I don't conform to what you want me to be. I'm sorry I didn't almost die of a shroom overdose. I'm sorry that I never refill the fucking water filter in the godamn hickley shmitt shit. I'm sorry that weh I cleaned out my fish tank that I dropped 3 tiny rocks down the fucking snk and fucked up the plumbing. I'm sorry I havn't brought home a boy that you liked as much as you liked Justin. I'm sorry that Ryan doesn't make you happy. He makes ME happy why isn't that enough? I'm sorry I kissed Ryan infront of you. I'm sorry I havn't fucked him yet so you can call me a whore and it be true. I'm sorry that you don't want me to go out in public with you. I'm sorry I'm not worth taking to the movies like they are. I'm sorry I'm not a cheerleader, a brain, or energetic. I'm sorry that I don't always have time to do the fucking dishes or clean the fucking house. I'm sorry that I don't take the garbage out everyday. I'm sorry that you don't respect me enough to knock on my door before comming in. I'm sorry that you don't trust me with Ryan in my room. I'm sorry you look at me as a waste of time and oxegen. I'm ssorry I'm not gonna throw my life away like you all did yours. I'm sorry you didn't have an abortion too when you were pregnant with me because apparently I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you. And I'm sorry you can't see me for what I really am. YOu all just see me as fat, ugly, lazy and stupid. Well thats your bad, not mine. I'll be gone soon I'm almost 18. And then you won't have to look at my face anymore cuz I'll move out and I'll go far away from here and you'll never have to hear from me again. I'll forget all about you and you can do the same. Sorry I'm such a let down to the entire family...and the world for that matter. Peace out

current mood: enraged
current music: *Undicovered* Ashlee Simpson

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Friday, August 6th, 2004
9:37 pm - It smells like weed and peanut butter in here
So things have been kinda strange around here. I'm like...I dunno. I want to kill people...well one person cuz she went all out anf fucked up my shit. And then there's Ryan. Who lol he better damn well be as good as I think he is for all teh b/s I've taken for him lol. I think I'm just gonna stay away from everyone for a while until I get my shit sorted out. I mean I really just kinda wish that U was invisable for like a week...oh man the things I would do lmao. But thats totally besides the point! I guess I just have to get some thinking done. And I think I'm gonna call Robinson and see if she wants to chill sometime this week so that I can like talk to some one different about all the shit on my mind. It's like weird. It feels like I'm supposed to be hurt and jealous...but I don't. I mean it seems like I'm supposed to be a total wreck but I'm not...can it be because I'm like not missing out? Maybe I don't miss you enough to cry or feel hurt. I think it's like I want to kiss you everytime I see you but then I realize I can't anymore...and for some reason it still doesn't hurt...it feels like. weird. I think maybe it hasn't hit me yet. Because like...this is too easy. I'm not supposed to be over it like that am I? Isn't something supposed to hurt and make me cry? Why doesn't it...I'm waiting for my world to come crashing down. Just sitting here quietly waiting for myself to fall. What if I don't...maybe it means the one thing I thought I could never do. Maybe...I'm over you...I don't know if that's good or bad. Because... if don't love you, then I'm not missing you or angry or jealous...but if I don't love you...i'm lonley too. there's this empty void in my heart that I can never fill because I don't see myself as being worht anything. I hate that. You gave me worth and as soon as I started to trust you and then you took it away. i dunno I'm tired. And this is retarded. I wish people were more mature then what htey are because then maybe everything wouldn't be so akward...but still I sit here and wait for it all to sink in and destroy me.

current mood: thirsty
current music: * Patience* Guns N roses

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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
7:01 pm - I'm not being too dramatic that's just how I have to have it
Diana,
In the mythology of Greece, there was the many-headed Hydra, who grew two new heads every time one was cut off. Today, your life may feel Hydra-like, as every question you answer uncovers two new ones. It feels like a hopeless battle to get the answers you need. Just remember that Hercules was able to defeat Hydra. Summon your courage from the wellsprings within, don't stop the questioning, and you will be the Hercules of your own world.

Dude my horoscopes lately have been so freakin true and it's scaring me. Last nights entry was a bit harsh I know...but I am serioulsy sick and tired of people talking to me about Justin. It's like you don't go up to him and talk to him about me do you? So why do it to me ya know? I guess I just have to learn that people are gonna do that now. And it's getting worse because as soon as I go back to school the first thing everyone is gonna ask me is hor are me and Justin. And I have decided to just say " We broke up and no I don't want to talk about it" Because it's no one's business what happened and all my friends love him so I'm not gonna be talking smack about anyone. But just so you people get the gist of it, just leave it alone and let it die. Thank you.

Today was gay. We did razor hair cuts. They gave me a razor...it was weird considering my history with razors. It was weird. I can't explain it. But I'm about to go change clothes and lay down I don't feel good at all but if ya wanna call me to do something just call. Love yall!

current mood: exhausted
current music: * Runaway* Hoobastank

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Monday, August 2nd, 2004
9:48 pm - Take me out...I move this could die






You are a Slutcom 0, also known as the frigid level of slutcom. Slutcom 0 is someone who hasn't been with too many people, if they've been with people at all. Hook-ups are practically non-existant - there may be one or two in the past, but nothing consistent or spectacular. You're a card carrying member of the prude patrol, or at least close.



Take the slutcom litmus test!

The slutcom litmus test originated in A Word of Advice.





Tha was just some randomness because I was bored. I hate people. I really do. I'm like beyond frustrated with like everything I just can't even take it anymore seriously. I mean my life sux right now. I can't seem to get away from everything. I was to leave and just forget about every piece of shit person in this fuckin town. I hate every single fucker I have ever met here. Cept Sammie, Doaner, and my peeps. But everyone else has made my life a living hell. And I can't stop just wishing they were all dead. I mean I was trying to remember everyone for the good in them and just like...love everyone for who they were but now it's like people just keep telling me things and bringing up shit from the past and telling me stuff that I don't want to know. Seriously I'm over it I just want it all to go away! People need to stop telling my rumors and talking shit and talking about " oh I saw justin at the mall the other day" I don't care! I don't care about Justin anymore ok? I said I"d love him forever but I lied!!!! I'm just a big fat liar ok? I don't care about him anymore and all I want to do is forget about him. Remembering him for the good only makes me miss him and forget why I broke up with him in the first place. So much of my life is fucked up because of him and I can't stand to even think about him anymore. So just stop telling me that you saw him or you talked to him or you remember some time when you guys had like a circle jerk or something I don't give a shit about him anymore and I just want to move on. So let me go! There is no more me and Justin and I'm really sick of people telling me that they are sorry we broke up because we were so cute together. I'm not sorry we broke up it's the best fucking choice I've ever made in my whole life damnit. Now please kindly fuck off and shove your memories up your fucking ass!!!!

Jessica Robinson stopped by today. She stayed till about 9. It was nice talking to her. We're so much alike and just we want to get away from this place and everyone here. She like makes me realize that there aren't only fake people and shitty people on this earth. She makes me remember that I'm not as bad as everyone thinks I am and that I'm a good person and I don't deserve all this bullshit. She makes me realize a lot about myself. And I've never felt as good about myself as I did when we were talking. Because every mistake I made and everything stupid I said and did she understands where I came from. And that's all I fuckin need. Some one who isn't fake and full of shit to tell me that hey, I'm ok. And a great big FUCK YOU to everyone who thinks I'm a bad person and a really big FUCK YOU to anyone who wants to talk shit about me based off of some bullshit with my relationship with Justin. GET OVER IT! I'm closing that chapter in my life now. I'm tired of wondering what I did wrong because ya know what? I DIDNT DO A DAMN THING WRONG! I'll bet that no one knows any of the good shit I did for him or all the things I've said that were so posotive to him. No all they know me for is what he wants them too. And that's sad. So I've just decided to say fuck it. Think whatever you want about me but I didn't do a damn thing. And the next person who comes to me saying anything about how they saw or talked to Justin, I'm seriously gonna just walk away and stop talking to you. Because I'm getting rip of all the bullshit in my life. And if all you want to do is bring it up then you can just stop talking to me. I'm done with it. So basically I'm not gonna lie and say I'll remember everyone for the good...I'll remember you all for what you are. Not all good and not all bad, but for being human. No one is perfect so was I expected to be? Just next time you see me or talk to me just don't even go there. Unless he's deathly ill or dies, I don't want to hear another workd uttered about him. He's a ghost in my memory and he's slowly fading out. Just let me let him go please?

So thank you to Jessica Robinson. She called my house and said " Tell Diana the good Jessica called" I was rollin. She is the good Jessica man. Because she's just like me, just as fed up and sick of everyone's shit as I am. Basically if it were up to me...Sammie, Jessica R, Cedoan, Ryan, Traivs, Shelly, Nathan, Trixsta, Kelly, Kristyn, Elyse, Jeanette, Jasmine, Chrissy, mike, shawn, nichole, mel, and like lidia would be the only people alive right now...and if any of them had b/f's ot g/f's they can live too. Everyone else just needs to DIE.
Jessica R and I are gonna move away from here. When we get stable enough with jobs n junk we're gonna get away. She's awesome. We have the same kinda family...meaning we're not like them. We so don't fit in with them and we don't even look like them. Everyone in joliet/elwood just sucks. And she even dislikes the saem people I do. She had me crackin up. It was nice. Just to get it all out and laugh about it and just know I'm gonna be ok. We sat down and talked for about 4 hours about everything and just, I know I'm not alone, and that means the world to me.

current mood: optimistic
current music: * Take me out* Franz ferdinand or something...it's funny

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Friday, July 30th, 2004
11:05 pm - I thought it was CROTCH-IT
She told me it was all gonna be ok. She told me not to worry because it wouldn't turn out like it did the last time...AHHH! *stabs shelly* My hair...omg...lmao I mean i'ts not THAT bad...but holy shit. I have to get some bleach or something now...I'm gonna kill som one I swear. But omg I love my roots and hair are 2 different colors. I really like the color my hair tunred out if my roots weren't retarded lmao. Remind me to hang myself. I can't wait to got to skool tomrrow and see what Kim says lmao. She's gonna shit frisbees. ...wow I'm not even gonna get started but JUST BECAUSE WE GOT IT ON DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO DATE YOU AND I AM SO NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!! Yea this guy needs to chill the hell out. Because I'm not all about love right now. And even if i was it would so not be him. But whatever! I'm just gonna keep avoding him and maybe he'll get the point! Travis came by yesterday. Ryan dropped him off...that was the most akward 5 seconds of my life I swear. The Ryan, Travis and Shawn and Mike were here today. That was some funny shit. All I have to say is that MIKE SHULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT TALK ANYMORE! Lmao I love him to death but he's a fuckin moron. Holy shit. Omg This girl Kristyn, her last name is Kokerhans...and like...I was really messed up and I laffed about that for like 2 hours. See, I finally found the pills Katrina gave me and I accidently took that one in the moring insted of my meds for my UTI. ( urinary tract infection...yea it burns when I pee!) And so I was so messed up in school and I swear everyone thought I had smoked pot before school. I was like NO. Lol but apperntly I was really funny. I told Amber that I wished she was gay so we could sleep together...and I fuckin hate Amber with a passion. Now you know if was messed up for that to happen. Well I'm off I have to go nite nite. Kelly n Kristyn are staying the nite n Kelly promised me a pedicure...poor girl I would even touch my feet! Well ttyl!

current mood: exanimate
current music: * Waking Dream* KMK

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11:05 pm - I thought it was CROTCH-IT
She told me it was all gonna be ok. She told me not to worry because it wouldn't turn out like it did the last time...AHHH! *stabs shelly* My hair...omg...lmao I mean i'ts not THAT bad...but holy shit. I have to get some bleach or something now...I'm gonna kill som one I swear. But omg I love my roots and hair are 2 different colors. I really like the color my hair tunred out if my roots weren't retarded lmao. Remind me to hang myself. I can't wait to got to skool tomrrow and see what Kim says lmao. She's gonna shit frisbees. ...wow I'm not even gonna get started but JUST BECAUSE WE GOT IT ON DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO DATE YOU AND I AM SO NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!! Yea this guy needs to chill the hell out. Because I'm not all about love right now. And even if i was it would so not be him. But whatever! I'm just gonna keep avoding him and maybe he'll get the point! Travis came by yesterday. Ryan dropped him off...that was the most akward 5 seconds of my life I swear. The Ryan, Travis and Shawn and Mike were here today. That was some funny shit. All I have to say is that MIKE SHULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT TALK ANYMORE! Lmao I love him to death but he's a fuckin moron. Holy shit. Omg This girl Kristyn, her last name is Kokerhans...and like...I was really messed up and I laffed about that for like 2 hours. See, I finally found the pills Katrina gave me and I accidently took that one in the moring insted of my meds for my UTI. ( urinary tract infection...yea it burns when I pee!) And so I was so messed up in school and I swear everyone thought I had smoked pot before school. I was like NO. Lol but apperntly I was really funny. I told Amber that I wished she was gay so we could sleep together...and I fuckin hate Amber with a passion. Now you know if was messed up for that to happen. Well I'm off I have to go nite nite. Kelly n Kristyn are staying the nite n Kelly promised me a pedicure...poor girl I would even touch my feet! Well ttyl!

current mood: exanimate
current music: * Waking Dream* KMK

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11:05 pm - I thought it was CROTCH-IT
She told me it was all gonna be ok. She told me not to worry because it wouldn't turn out like it did the last time...AHHH! *stabs shelly* My hair...omg...lmao I mean i'ts not THAT bad...but holy shit. I have to get some bleach or something now...I'm gonna kill som one I swear. But omg I love my roots and hair are 2 different colors. I really like the color my hair tunred out if my roots weren't retarded lmao. Remind me to hang myself. I can't wait to got to skool tomrrow and see what Kim says lmao. She's gonna shit frisbees. ...wow I'm not even gonna get started but JUST BECAUSE WE GOT IT ON DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO DATE YOU AND I AM SO NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!! Yea this guy needs to chill the hell out. Because I'm not all about love right now. And even if i was it would so not be him. But whatever! I'm just gonna keep avoding him and maybe he'll get the point! Travis came by yesterday. Ryan dropped him off...that was the most akward 5 seconds of my life I swear. The Ryan, Travis and Shawn and Mike were here today. That was some funny shit. All I have to say is that MIKE SHULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT TALK ANYMORE! Lmao I love him to death but he's a fuckin moron. Holy shit. Omg This girl Kristyn, her last name is Kokerhans...and like...I was really messed up and I laffed about that for like 2 hours. See, I finally found the pills Katrina gave me and I accidently took that one in the moring insted of my meds for my UTI. ( urinary tract infection...yea it burns when I pee!) And so I was so messed up in school and I swear everyone thought I had smoked pot before school. I was like NO. Lol but apperntly I was really funny. I told Amber that I wished she was gay so we could sleep together...and I fuckin hate Amber with a passion. Now you know if was messed up for that to happen. Well I'm off I have to go nite nite. Kelly n Kristyn are staying the nite n Kelly promised me a pedicure...poor girl I would even touch my feet! Well ttyl!

current mood: exanimate
current music: * Waking Dream* KMK

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11:05 pm - I thought it was CROTCH-IT
She told me it was all gonna be ok. She told me not to worry because it wouldn't turn out like it did the last time...AHHH! *stabs shelly* My hair...omg...lmao I mean i'ts not THAT bad...but holy shit. I have to get some bleach or something now...I'm gonna kill som one I swear. But omg I love my roots and hair are 2 different colors. I really like the color my hair tunred out if my roots weren't retarded lmao. Remind me to hang myself. I can't wait to got to skool tomrrow and see what Kim says lmao. She's gonna shit frisbees. ...wow I'm not even gonna get started but JUST BECAUSE WE GOT IT ON DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO DATE YOU AND I AM SO NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!! Yea this guy needs to chill the hell out. Because I'm not all about love right now. And even if i was it would so not be him. But whatever! I'm just gonna keep avoding him and maybe he'll get the point! Travis came by yesterday. Ryan dropped him off...that was the most akward 5 seconds of my life I swear. The Ryan, Travis and Shawn and Mike were here today. That was some funny shit. All I have to say is that MIKE SHULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT TALK ANYMORE! Lmao I love him to death but he's a fuckin moron. Holy shit. Omg This girl Kristyn, her last name is Kokerhans...and like...I was really messed up and I laffed about that for like 2 hours. See, I finally found the pills Katrina gave me and I accidently took that one in the moring insted of my meds for my UTI. ( urinary tract infection...yea it burns when I pee!) And so I was so messed up in school and I swear everyone thought I had smoked pot before school. I was like NO. Lol but apperntly I was really funny. I told Amber that I wished she was gay so we could sleep together...and I fuckin hate Amber with a passion. Now you know if was messed up for that to happen. Well I'm off I have to go nite nite. Kelly n Kristyn are staying the nite n Kelly promised me a pedicure...poor girl I would even touch my feet! Well ttyl!

current mood: exanimate
current music: * Waking Dream* KMK

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11:05 pm - I thought it was CROTCH-IT
She told me it was all gonna be ok. She told me not to worry because it wouldn't turn out like it did the last time...AHHH! *stabs shelly* My hair...omg...lmao I mean i'ts not THAT bad...but holy shit. I have to get some bleach or something now...I'm gonna kill som one I swear. But omg I love my roots and hair are 2 different colors. I really like the color my hair tunred out if my roots weren't retarded lmao. Remind me to hang myself. I can't wait to got to skool tomrrow and see what Kim says lmao. She's gonna shit frisbees. ...wow I'm not even gonna get started but JUST BECAUSE WE GOT IT ON DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO DATE YOU AND I AM SO NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!! Yea this guy needs to chill the hell out. Because I'm not all about love right now. And even if i was it would so not be him. But whatever! I'm just gonna keep avoding him and maybe he'll get the point! Travis came by yesterday. Ryan dropped him off...that was the most akward 5 seconds of my life I swear. The Ryan, Travis and Shawn and Mike were here today. That was some funny shit. All I have to say is that MIKE SHULD JUST GO TO SLEEP AND NOT TALK ANYMORE! Lmao I love him to death but he's a fuckin moron. Holy shit. Omg This girl Kristyn, her last name is Kokerhans...and like...I was really messed up and I laffed about that for like 2 hours. See, I finally found the pills Katrina gave me and I accidently took that one in the moring insted of my meds for my UTI. ( urinary tract infection...yea it burns when I pee!) And so I was so messed up in school and I swear everyone thought I had smoked pot before school. I was like NO. Lol but apperntly I was really funny. I told Amber that I wished she was gay so we could sleep together...and I fuckin hate Amber with a passion. Now you know if was messed up for that to happen. Well I'm off I have to go nite nite. Kelly n Kristyn are staying the nite n Kelly promised me a pedicure...poor girl I would even touch my feet! Well ttyl!

current mood: exanimate
current music: * Waking Dream* KMK

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Thursday, July 29th, 2004
7:20 pm - How dare you throw my dead dog into that ice hole
Y aknow sammie, it's REALLY Funny how much of the songs that you listen to when you updat ur freakin journal are all on MY CD!!!! That I SOOOOOO do not have right now. Biatch. I'll kill you. I am so freakin bored. Travis is on his way over so that should be really interesting. I was like wowowowowowowow. Holy shit I'm s bored. Travis said they he wants to go out to the mall to get an outfit to wear to his family reunion...which I may add he's making me go to. Bastard. And I'm like dude by the time you get here the mall will be closing. But he siad he'd drive fast. I love him to death. He's my little guy man. Awww! He makes me SO fucking angry sometimes but he said sorry for everything he said to me about Ryan. Which...Ryan...*sighs* I like Ryan so much and I can never fuckin be with him becuase Erica likes him. I adore Ryan...he's like the only guy right now who makes me forget about everything and just makes me be myself and I'm so much happier about everything. I'm falling so hard so fast for him. Not like in love because FUCK LOVE! Love sux ass and I hope everyone in love dies...well kinda. But I mean I have feelings for ryan that make my tummy and heart feel so wierd...and no it's not gas...I think. Well I gtg I'm gonna go downstairs and wait for Travis. Later

current mood: contemplative
current music: * Tangerine Skies* KMK

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7:16 am - Jeebus
Diana,
Your connection to the outer world may be emphasized now, but it's not all fun and games. Even if your work has been moving along, now it's time to stop and remember all the past situations in your life that have not turned out the way you preferred. This isn't about wallowing in your failures. It's not even about feeling depressed. Rather, this is your time to remember so you can let go and move beyond what's been holding you back.

current mood: irritated
current music: * Broken Home* Papa Roach

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Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
11:02 pm
Frozen Dreams5 [10:53 PM]: SAMMIE SON!
X42066619 [10:53 PM]: woah dude hold on
Frozen Dreams5 [10:53 PM]: OK I'm only DIEING but that's ok
X42066619 [10:54 PM]: *looks concerned*
X42066619 [10:55 PM]: i was typin up the away message i'm about to leave
X42066619 [10:55 PM]: whats up
Frozen Dreams5 [10:55 PM]: I just wanted to tell you I'm a leave ur shit off tomorrow before I go to skool
Frozen Dreams5 [10:55 PM]: and that I forgot paproach and I'm saddened
Frozen Dreams5 [10:55 PM]: so I was wondering if u can leave it some where so I can get it
X42066619 [10:56 PM]: yeah i saw that what time will you be by?
X42066619 [10:56 PM]: thats what i'm askin for
Frozen Dreams5 [10:56 PM]: erm...8ish
Frozen Dreams5 [10:56 PM]: Am
X42066619 [10:56 PM]: ok i'll think of somewheres to put it for ya
Frozen Dreams5 [10:57 PM]: like rite inside the porch door or something...i dunno
X42066619 [10:57 PM]: yeah but i dunno for sure that my mom will be home and that door will be un locked
Frozen Dreams5 [10:58 PM]: ummm crap lol...ok well Im sure you;; figure something out I'm a go die now love ya hun
X42066619 [10:58 PM]: hey hold up
Frozen Dreams5 [10:58 PM]: >?
X42066619 [10:58 PM]: what album is (s)aint off of do you know?
Frozen Dreams5 [10:58 PM]: golden age of grotesic
X42066619 [10:58 PM]: ok
X42066619 [10:58 PM]: i'm downloadin for you
Frozen Dreams5 [10:58 PM]: YAYNESS
X42066619 [10:59 PM]: i'll leave you a message as to what hole i'm a put this shit in for you
Frozen Dreams5 [10:59 PM]: lmao ok hun
X42066619 [10:59 PM]: unless your getting off line in which case email me so i have your address
X42066619 [10:59 PM]: n then you can check it later
Frozen Dreams5 [10:59 PM]: umm yea i"m getting off but I check it in da morn n shit
X42066619 [10:59 PM]: *pats you on head*
X42066619 [11:00 PM]: ok you go have fun doin that whole dieing thing you've been goin on n on about n i'll see ya tomorrow probly
X42066619 [11:00 PM]: caz cedoan still wants to come over
Frozen Dreams5 [11:00 PM]: lmao ok hun c u later
X42066619 [11:00 PM]: later
Auto response from Frozen Dreams5 [11:00 PM]: Making Ryan rub me down in Aloe Vera because I am one burnt bitch. So leave me some love and wishes of me getting better pwease! Later
X42066619 [11:00 PM]: lol yeah dying SURE!
Frozen Dreams5 [11:00 PM]: lmao
Frozen Dreams5 [11:01 PM]: piss off
X42066619 [11:01 PM]: *pisses* you like that?
X42066619 [11:01 PM]: eh? eh?
Frozen Dreams5 [11:01 PM]: oh u know it baby

X42066619 [11:01 PM]: lol i'll leave you n ryan alone with your baby grease now
Frozen Dreams5 [11:01 PM]: lmao bye asshole!

current mood: amused

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10:49 pm - Somtimes I love my friends
Me: Away messege "Making ryan rub me down in Aloe vera because I am one burnt bitch so leave me some love"
Melanie: ::LEAVING LOVE::
Melanie: ::HUMPING YOUR LEG::
Melanie: ::HUMPING YOUR HEAD::
Melanie: ::HUMPING MYSELF::

current mood: crappy
current music: *Silence* Mudvayne

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