James Givens' Blurty|
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James Givens' Blurty:
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|Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005|
I know that nobody reads these anymore. I guess it's the end of an era. But for some reason I felt like I needed to update. I have been going through a lot of this torture lately and I figured out what it was the other day. I have a very hard time letting go and forgiving other people. I've known it for awhile, but I never really figured out why it was getting to me so bad. I was reading some stuff the other day, and that old verse from the Lords Prayer hit me like a brick. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. I mean, it's black and white, ya know...For some reason it never hit me until I realized that my willingness to live with these hard feelings is what is keeping me from being happy. If I can't forgive someone else, God can't forgive me, and then I'm kind of doubly screwed. In the end I'm just getting the bad end of both deals.
Class tonight was awful. I knew going into the class that it would be graphic and hard to deal with, but I didn't realize I would get physically sick. Some of these criminals do things that are just too horrible to mention. Seeing pictures and watching video of it all, I felt sick. Every girl was crying, a few people walked out. I had to stomach it...I knew if I walked outside I was going to throw up. I'm curious as to why I'm choosing this path, but I know it's for a good reason. I'll take it as far as it can go.
I'm actually talking to Brad online right now. I haven't done that in awhile. He's a good boy. I hope he can go to Michelle's formal. She's always glowing whenever he's around. And seeing her happy is a fantastic thing. I suggest you all get a glimpse of that :p Anywho, I'm tired...I'm gonna go to bed.
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Incubus-1984
|Friday, August 12th, 2005|
When in Rome...
So many things to do. I didn't think you could fit so much into one day. I have a few more doctors appointments today, then I should be done...hopefully. I think it actually was stress that was making me sick. Kaitlyn told me to just chill out every time I started feeling sick, and to just calm down. For some reason it worked. I won't admit that she was right though. I'm glad she's around right now. With not being able to fly and all this insurance stuff she's helped me to keep my head in the game. Plus she helped me get an A in psychology. I think I'll keep her around.
My dad finally got back from Rome. He didn't bring me anything. I wasn't expecting anything...but come on, it's Italy. He didn't get my mom anything either. Huge mistake... He barely got off the hook becuase he was in meetings the whole time and they were on a terrorist alert and stuff. Oh, I turn 21 next Friday. I don't feel old. I don't think I ever have. Oh well, should be good times.
Man, I'm tired. I like this new apartment.My bathroom is a lot bigger. Which is actually cool, ya know, walking space. Kaitlyn let me borrow her tv and a dvd player, so now I can watch tv... I've never had a tv in my room so this is huge, in case you guys didn't realize that. In any event, I must go. I thought I'd update for you guys.
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: That Jessica Simpson song...she's so...hot
|Tuesday, July 26th, 2005|
Stupid FAA. I got a letter in the mail stating that they couldnt certify me medically because of my asthma. So, they want me to do more tests and all that to establish that i'm qualified. So ridiculous. I was certified a year ago, and a year later they decide to tell me that I might not be eligable to be certified. I've already invested thousands of dollars into becoming a pilot. If I can't fly I'll basically have to rethink what I want to do with the rest of my life. No big deal. I called the FAA branch office and told them what I thought about that. They "sympathized" with me, but had to wait until all of my medical records had been given over. I'm gonna go...
Current Mood: angry
|Sunday, May 22nd, 2005|
|Your Stripper Name is: Butterfly|
|Yeah, I'm bored
Your SAT Score of 1250 Means:
You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern
You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush
You Scored Lower Than Al Gore
You Scored Lower Than David Duchovny
You Scored Lower Than Natalie Portman
You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates
Your IQ is most likely in the 120-130 range
Equivalent ACT score: 28
Schools that Fit Your SAT Score:
University of California-Los Angeles
University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Your Deadly Sins
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 69%
You will die in a duel.
I think this was a bad idea...
Your #1 Match: INFP
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.
|Saturday, May 21st, 2005|
Gah, my brother. I'm sick and tired of living here. Everyday he makes things worse by acting like he's better than me. Today we got into a fight over milk. He actually TOLD me to go buy milk. He and his friends drank all of the milk, and then told me to go buy more. Then he got mad at me because I didn't. WHo does that. We said some pretty nasty things over a frickin gallon of milk. I'm sick of his attitude and trying to tell me what to do. I'm still bitter about all of his crap when my mom was sick. He would go and hang out with his friends and leave me to drive my mom to all of her appointments and take care of her. Who does that. I dunno, it's almost to the point where I'm resolved to move out. It's just not even worth my time putting up with it all. Why does it have to be like that. The bottom line is he thinks he is always in the right. Honestly, I wouldn't care if I was wrong all of the time. At this point it'd be nice. Seriously....
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver
|Saturday, May 14th, 2005|
|Scary and accurate
The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.
You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.
|Saturday, May 7th, 2005|
Cinco de Mayo
Man, craazy night last night. I went out with Joey and those girls downtown for the 5th....whoa. There were seriously 300 people in line to get into Antigua, and Joey walks up to one of the bouncers and gets us right in for free. Pretty sweet. One of the girls that came along was hanging on to me all night. I was more annoyed than interested, but later I found out that she was a lesbian. Good times. She made for a good wingman though. And Erin came into town! I love having that kid around. She's such a great person. We were sitting in my car at the beach at around 1am and a cop decided to see what we were up to. He was nice though. I didn't pay the parking meter and I thought he was gonna ticket me or make me leave...or something. He told me to stay and have a good time. Definitely didn't see that one coming...
I saw House of Wax tonight. Worst movie ever. It was SO gory and just...bad. Eh. I met Nikki's boyfriend too. That guys a character. I guess I approve though :-p If Nikki's happy she's happy. No two ways about it. I have to say though, it's wierd having all of these girls as friends....I just feel so akward hearing them talk about dating and guys and stuff. Like, I could never think about them the way I think about girls I date....so, I'm always shocked at some of the things I hear. Haha, sorry! I'ma tired...I still have a lot of trouble sleeping and I don't really know why. It's all good though. I have the rest of my life to catch up on that stuff right. Well, g'night ya'll! (My Michelle dedication)
Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: Hollow - Submersed
|Sunday, April 17th, 2005|
|Thursday, April 14th, 2005|
|Saturday, April 9th, 2005|
So I had a date with my oh so beautiful grandma last night. I had such a wonderful time! We had a really good conversation and just really bonded, it was great. I don't think I've ever had such a good time with her. She showed me these cute poems that she wrote to her sisters, and we ended up making one for my parents. Good times. I was soo tired though! I fell asleep at about 10. I ended up on the floor somehow, and I woke up around 2. Then I get a random call from Nikki ;-) She was up to no good obviously, but that was fun. I got to talk to Tripp too. He seemed cool enough for me.
Another bad week...but I guess things are getting better. It's not that I'm not trying, I just keep getting kicked when I'm down. I was talking to Joey at work and he just keeps telling me that whatever it is that gets me angry or upset is worthless. It isn't enough to admit that things are going to get better, you have to make them better. He and the guys have helped me out a lot though, taking me out and making me feel better. Having friends who are willing to help you through your ups and downs is a big help.
I passed my check ride the other day. I was really nervous about that. It was so windy and I was flying under the hood which means I can't see outside of the airplane. I was being thrown all over the place, it was cool. The old guy Don is so hard to hear on the radio. It's aggrivatin. I hear this noise that somewhat resembles mumbling and then he looks over at me with this confused look in his eye wondering why the heck I'm not doing exactly as he says. I think he knows that I can't hear him, so I just look over at him and smile. So when that happens he starts talking louder and it's pretty annoying over the radio. So after that I cough really loud and out of the corner of my eye I can see him jump in his seat. Good times.
Yeah....so I know you guys are just so into this...I think I'm gonna go now. I'm gonna play poker with the boys and watch Fight Club and eat wings. Have a good night ya'll! (My tribute to Michelle!)
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Shinedown - Burning Bright
|Wednesday, April 6th, 2005|
What a horrible day. I was sitting out by my plane just...sad. Then it hit me...this is how God must feel.
|Monday, April 4th, 2005|
|Nikki has all the cool quizzes!
|Your dating personality profile:|
Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.
Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
|Your date match profile:|
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape.
Your Top Ten Traits
Your Top Ten Match Traits
Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz
at Dating Diversions
|Saturday, April 2nd, 2005|
One for the road
What a week.... I don't think I can do much more of those. James can only be stretched so far! And I've been sick all week too. I sound kinda funny. My voice keeps packing up and leaving on me, then it comes back. I was trying to yell at someone yesterday and I was all squeekin like mad. So..they all laughed at me. Needless to say I didn't get my point across. lol. I've been trying to set up a retirement account all week too. They keep giving me problems though. I wanted to set up a mutual fund, but they wanted to charge me. I didn't want that. I don't have that much money anyway. So after all of the effort I eventually cracked and called my dad and he's gonna help little jj out. I really wanted to do it on my own though, I was so close!
I had to break things off with Nicole too. I just didn't understand why she couldn't tell me the truth and be honest with me. I'm just not into that. So she got mad at me...I still don't know why...so I just explained how I felt. You can't just slide out of everything in life, you have to face your problems. The fact that she couldn't be open with me was when I made the decision that I didn't want to be with her. Apparently she didn't want to be with me first, so she says. That also settled the deal. But seriously, why do people think that by not wanting to "hurt" someone else they're doing the right thing? That is absolutely no excuse. You're only prolonging the inevitable, which is just a waste of everyones time. I mean come on people...
I was watching Ghost earlier. I've seen the movie before, obviously...but I never really got into it. I guess this time I was kinda sick and all the stuff was going on with Nicole, so I let myself get wrapped up in the movie. I loved the part near the end when Demi Moore finally figures out that Sam is a ghost and he is sitting beside her and trying to touch her. It was so good. I got into one of my Forest Gump moods. I think you all know how I get when I watch that movie. Anyway, it just made me think about how it's ok to just be alone sometimes. It's probably healthy, who knows. You have to live your own life and do what makes you happy, and if someone comes along that's going the same way, go for it. I think God uses women(or men :p) to compliment us that way. To help us with all of the career struggles and issues in life. I mean it's rough when you break up, or even fall in love for that matter. But I think when you really find the right person it all just falls into place. Like a song ya know? It just fits. It stays in your head, and you memorize all of the words so that you can sing them over and over, even when the music isn't playing.
Well, I'm a tired kid. I was watching the news and waiting to see what the Pope's condition was, but I can't stay awake. I think I took too many Advil. So that's it for me. I start flight school again next week for my instrument rating. That should be fun...hopefully it will keep me busy. I love you guys!
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Garth Brooks - When You Come Back to Me Again
|Friday, March 25th, 2005|
I thought this week was gonna be great. I was mistaken. I mean it started out great. Things with Nicole were great, I was having fun, not much going on, looking forward to flight school starting up, and just happy. Then it all went KAPUT! Bleh. I was hanging out with Gian, and we were playing some guitar, and Nicole got upset about something and left. SO, I felt bad. Apparently she wants me to "ask her out". I don't like asking girls out! gah. I even explained to her about my past and all of the crappy experiences I've had with dating and having to ask girls out. I figured it was just assumed that we were dating, or together, or whatever! Who knows. So that night I go bowling with the guys, and that was fun. I lost baaad though. I never saw that one coming....Anywho, I drove Cody back to his apartment and we hung out and stuff, but his car was still at my apartment. We were both tired so we just said we'd get it when I left. So, at 3 AM we decide to leave and my car is nowhere to be found. Since Orlando is such a big city....ya know, I wasn't happy of the options of where it could be. I went to the clubhouse to ask someone working what might have happened. They TOWED IT. So, I stayed the night at Cody's and I was waaay late for work the next morning.
Ok, so, new paragraph. I called around and located MY car. They made me pay $110 to take it from the impound lot. I didn't quite have the money so Cody gave me a loan...nice guy. There was a huge scratch on the front bumper, and as I drove off, I looked at the receipt. It said, "Reason for Tow: Stolen". Now that was odd. I went back and the place had already closed. So, I called them the next day, no answer. I'm just gonna have to drive alll the way back there to see what on earth is going on. Maybe since it wasn't stolen...I can get the money back. Something tells me I won't though....
So that was my day. I didn't let it get to me though ya know? I knew God was just gonna help me figure it all out and nothing bad was going to happen. And amazingly enough I was at peace through most of it. Usually I go off the hook and get angry about the stupidest things. So it was nice to just be able to let something go for once. I hope you all had a good week....ya know, takin it easy. Im gonna go play guitar with Gian...maybe that will make me feel better.
Current Mood: curious
Current Music: Rain
|Amazingly enoguh, that is so me... Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: Dirty Little Thing - Velvet Revolver
|Sunday, March 20th, 2005|
|NIKKI IS THE BEST....(cause she's waaay smarter than I am, all I do is look good)
Type the answer of the question into google image search and post the first picture that came up....
1. What was your first car?
2. Pick a grandmother's name...
3. Where were you raised?
4. Where do you live now?
5. Search for your own name, (but remember to just return the FIRST picture, even if it isn't you)
6. What is your favorite food?
7. What is the title to your favorite song?
8. What is your favorite smell?
9. What are your favorite kind of shoes?
10. What are you thinking about most right now? Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: Landing in London - 3 Doors down