tired and sleepy and ready to go to sllepp...got a new bible...got a new true love waits ring and hung out with liz and nakia...
i was raped when i was 4...and for some odd reason...i still see it in my mind....and i can't watch anything that involves someone being raped and my friend gets mad whenvever i walk out of the room when somethng .lke that i shappening
well first off let me go ahead and tell you that me and nakia moved into a new apartment first off because she was getting harassed but second of off because we didn't really like our roomates....so anyways her name is beth and she is awesome! so i have to go to work today right? well so i come home from work, and nakia is pissed! and she won't tell me why? and so taylor is telling me how they were all drinking and he kept wanting nakia to loosen up and drink something ....welll she says that he made her take a drink which pissed her off...and then she snapped on me...like what the hell did i do...absolutely nothing and that so pisses me off...so anyways...just wanted to say that ..... lvoes
well today has been interesting. to say the least. lol well i got home at like 930 and my best friend was still passed out in the bed....she didn't get in till late. she was the designated driver lol for a bunch of frat boys...who hit on her like crazy...well anyways...went back to bed and didnt wake up till 100 and it was amazing...ate some lunch...started to wash my work clothes...and then decided to...da da na nahm call out and pretend to be sick lol....i hope that i don't get caught...i felt so bad...and man...i really needed the hours...it was horrible...i shall never do it again...anyways....i went and saw superbad with my bro, nakia, and taylor...and it was horrible...but then we went to...the porn store lol it was hilarious....dan and taylor decided that they were going to buy me and nakia a porn videlo....i couldn't watch it...and taylor...and nakia watched it for a while it was funny!!!! lol
i have some of the best friends in the entire world...but sometimes they can only think of themselves and their needs...but you know what it is cool .....life sometimes throws obstacles at you that only you can handle by yourself and right now life in general i am going to handle by myself...give myself some peace and quiet....i got a tattoo this week and my mom...got pissed....she doesn't think that i have the right to do that to my body unless i pay for everything in my lfie....and that is jsut not fair you know...but life sucks and life isn't fair...it is a bitch...but that's cool she got over it pretty fast...but she is pretending like ti never happened and that it is just a nightmare and you know what? that's cool with me....pretend like she doesn't see it....and when i am around her i will pretend like it doesn't exist....that is how my family is....pretend it isn't happening and it will go away! but you know what...that doesn't always work....for instance....my my 18 year old brother is an alcoholic...but she refuses to see that saying he is just having a good timfe.....having a good time on a sunday-saturday basis is not having a good time...that is called go to a fucking rehab facility and get some help~ same as my 16 year old sister...she doesn't know what to do with her...but yet still allows her to have a phone and a car...after she has lied countless times...been chased by the cops and is dating someone who my parents don't like....where is the boundaries here? i mean ya...i got a tattoo big fucking deal at least im not like um....having sex...drinking...smoking pot....and who knows what else is out there.....the guy cleaned the needles in front of me....got new colors out...and did an amazing job and i will go back and get another one!!!! sometime soon!!!!
I KNew that there was a reason why i hated it so much....it is the fact that teachers think its cool to give homework and quizes due after a long weekend i hate it so much
i dont understand how he had to go to jail for dog fighting and the babysitter that has basically killed baby kaleb gets to walk free to me that is not fair
okay....so my best friend has this boyfriend....his name is taylor....taylor is like my brother....him and my brother have been best friends for as long as i can remember....he has been in love with my best friend since the eighth grade....he did not date her until spring break of our junior year...they are always fighting and fussing and are rarely happy....so tonight....me and nakia...that's her name moved over to alabama...where we go to school...and surprise surprise...he does to...anyways...we were hanging out in her room and he walks in drunk...she doesn't drink so it pisses her off when he does...so she started bitchin granted i probably would have but she does everytime... okay...well she took his keys away so he couldn't leave ...and he was like well illjust stay over here and sleep in your bed...she has been homesick and following all rules her parents have laid out for her...and said no...he got pissed and they started fighting like real bad fighting and it all just blew up from there...she got mad at me...and now i am hurting and you know what right now i could care less. my heart is hurting but that is okay...i will get over it...she said some pretty mean things to me to...so i will probably stay hurt for a while but then i will eventually get over it...but not completely...
life as i have known it has passed away...i have moved away from home, lost 3 best friends, and i am in a buttload of debt...my dreams are coming true, but i am penniless in the process...my heart is broken my dreams have been stomped on so many times but i continue to pick myself up and make something of myself....my friends begin to miss me and they slowly start to come back...the good thing about moving away from home...my mom gives me more money than i have ever been given...it is like since she can't see me anymore she has to make up for what she is missing by giving me money....i miss my old life where i had friends that i could just call up and they would come rushing over if something was wrong with me or if i needed a shoulder to cry on...they were there...but i have learned that as you grow older...your friends become fewer and fewer until you literally only have the one that you are married to...your best friends will move on...get married have babies and have their own lives...you will talk to them through an email every now and then...get a picture at christmas with their happy family portrait on it....but that will be it...few friends last....but there is one friend that remains constant through it all...that is god...he has been with me since the moment that i gave my heart to him in the ninth grade of high school...yes i admit that i have strayed but i have continued to come back and ask for forgiveness he is an understanding god...but a jealous god...dont mess with him to much...no matter how big of sins i have made in the past...he forgives me...i know that i am forgiven when i have that peace in my heart that i have not had in forever....i stray i know...but god i do come back....he has plans for each and everyone of us...of that i am sure...but i am also positive that we tend to lean only on god when we are hurting or in trouble...god wants to help us with our problems...but he also wants to share the joy that we have over finding a new and better paying job, getting into college, finding out tat you are pregnant after 3 years of trying. He wants to know the good things to he loves to hear our laughter and our praises just as much as he lvoes or should i say hate to see us hurting and bent over with fears....