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Blurty for ashley.
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| Monday, January 3rd, 2005 |
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break is finito and my major lesson? .. don't rent "Wicker Park" .. lol jk, but seriously - don't rent it. new years eve was mucho fun, no not really. sorta sucked and annoying but you gotta roll with the punches sometimes. jers house wasn't bad, that was quite entertaining. oh yeah and the SVU marathon - what a way to end 2004. but hayley called me at 130am it made me muy happy even though i was almost sleeping but tis okay, now i know how other people felt when i called and i woke them .. still sorry. ..::..new years eve quote of the day..::.. jer:: i think the swedish fish i just ate was missing an ingredient, it didn't have the usual zanginess of a swedish fish then there was yesterday .. ps i just let derek win, that isn't supposed to happen .. and back to yesterday, slept til 12 'cause i am a lazyass then i went to work where all my friends left me by 430, thanks guys. i was sorta afraid to go to work yesterday but it was actually really nice. then after work was when the real fun began ('cause the fun before was fake, ps i am a retard). yeah so FUN NIGHT began. me, meghan, biffy but no hayley .. moment .. moment is done .. or other people *ahem* who should've come because it was madd fun but they are the losers in this situation (not me, biffy, or bif). yeah so .. o bowling alley - "nope .. nope .. nope .. nope .. nope .. in the back? nope .. nope .. nope .. FAW?!?!?" and ehots which provided us with several quotes:: ..::..quotations first heard at ehots..::.. meghan:: no i don't want to go to the fucking airport, dave's not there -- meghan:: damn i feel like a fatass, two trash plates in one week -- ashley:: seriously, she isn't even that cute and all them guys? meghan:: thats 'cause she is a slut -- elana:: you are mean, you are rude, you are a brat ashley:: i know okay and our field trip but i forgot to where (oops) idk store maybe or something. then we went to blockbuster and rented "Wicker Park" (just gonna shake my head right now). back to meggys house where we finished fun night in fun fashion! lol i feel awful because my biffy is so lovely but for some reason every time me and meghan looked at each other last night, we just laughed for like three minutes. and i woke meggy up in the morning and she said "die". ain't that fun? and now you are jealous, thanks. this morning is when fun night concluded and then i went home and did all the work i was supposed to do this whole week and a half then i went to work. not so bad tonight actually, derek and hayley were working .. hehe .. i hehed the whole night. madd good mood for some reason, well probably 'cause i saw derek and hayley the whole night and they both can and know how to make me smile. and then i sorta heard something but nevermind the details but it was hehe and i hehed all the way to hayley to tell her. hehe i love meghan hehe i spent like alot of time with her this week and it was fun fun fun. >> meghan:: "screw going to hell, you are hell" been doing alot of thinking past few days. i think it all needs time. but i am not completely sad with the way things are now. i'm staying strong. i promised favorite i would stay strong and i have every intention on doing so. When you call on me When I hear you breathe I get wings to fly I feel that I'm alive |
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| Thursday, December 30th, 2004 |
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sunday night biffy drove over a curb and only myself and derek witnessed it. but don't worry, we told plenty of people about it. zane: your friends are gay me: you're my friend >>thought that was supreme quickwittedness on my part went to the mall on monday. that sucked ps. i am going to hell. me and meghan equal maj maj hell. food is good. hayley, meghan, and ashley like food. EFR! food is the best when you randomly decided to go out to eat at 1115pm. i don't really want to say too much on the serious side right now. my online journal isn't the place to talk about it. i want to talk to people, or actually, i just want to talk to a specific person. they mean alot to me and it's only fair to them. You lean on me and I'll lean on you, and we'll be alright |
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| Tuesday, December 28th, 2004 |
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about to leave in a few minutes oh my God tis scary scared out of my mind |
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| Saturday, December 25th, 2004 |
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the only reason that i am doing this is because of my extreme fondness for Hayley and i want her to be happy anyways, so merry christmas everyone. didn't really feel like christmas at all. yesterday morning i had xmas with my dad and sissys and brother then i had to go to work at two. work was flipping psycho, damn you last minute shoppers. donna was gstling and i talked to her for a little bit and if you were working and i called you a jerk and then hit you really hard, i am mucho sorry and you know it, i really was excited to see you .. hehe.. after work we went to aunt vicki's house. found out something awful and i didn't exactly hear 'good' news earlier at work, so there was alot going on. i almost started balling when i was saying bye to my aunt. i love her so much and i wish i could've talked to her a little more last night but that is what monday is for! best part of this trip: when my dad got the whole family singing 'twelve days of christmas', four times. even though i was 3,4, and 7, the 8th day was def. my fav. and my aunt's cheeseball was delicious. in the middle of opening presents, i randomly craved cream cheese and she was like "i have a ball of it!", so i ate it. lol. ps chris admitted he loved me even though i did make a scene everytime he opened (or touched) a present. mark it down. then we went to my other aunt's house, not so much fun. sorta boring. except for when i stole joey's phone and took several pictures with it and then hid it. you'd think he'd know by the third family gathering in a row with his new phone, that when he sets it down, i am going to run off with it. haha i died when he goes "remember when you didn't talk to me? what happened to that?". another good moment was when my cousin michael pulled out some chapstick and i scream "OH MY GOD MICHAEL SHUTUP" and he looks at me like 'i didn't say anything' and then i pull out my chapstick to show him it's the same one but then i realized it wasn't so i just sat back down. today i came home and had home christmas .. idk .. sure, whatever. i went online at like three and had a six hour convo with someone which was nice because although we always talk, we hadn't done that since like around octoberish maybe. hmm it was nice though. i am confused and scared and don't know what's going to happen. hope, that's all i have to say, hope. this entry is for hayley and hayley told me i have to keep holding on to the hope she knows i have, and i plan on doing it until i am forced to let it go, which i pray doesn't happen and don't think it will. |
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| Thursday, December 23rd, 2004 |
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yay for christmas vacation finally starting. sooo much has happened in two days - let me tell you! anyways, so yesterday before work there was major, key word is major, target drama going down - let me tell you! mmhmm, i didn't know what to do with it all because i was afraid it was going to result in the loss of some good friends but then nope, all was swell after going to work and straightening things out (ps it helps when you get your story straight). and then after all this, i finally came to the conclusion that there is actually someone in this world who i do not like at all. i feel sorta bad but oh well, i am entitled to not like people, even though hayley did tell me tonight that i am too nice to people. so i def watched the Laguna Beach marathon today .. wow, just wow .. i just wow, i tried not to get hooked, i honestly did but that show is so addicting and raw, i never want it to end! past two nights at work, albeit very busy, were two of the best days at work in a while. i mean yes i was busy and there were plenty of rude people to deal with but i don't know, something just was good about 'em. guest serviced it last night and then toysed/food aved it tonight. i think i liked tonight a smidge better though 'cause meghan, hayley, dave, and derek were working and shellDawg came in .. even though she called me a sluttyass hoebag but it's quite alright. that just made me think of FAW. ps i am not a liar! i only did it because i was looking out for their health and hey, i admitted that i kinda lied so that proves how bad i feel. don't ask. anyways, even though i knew they didn't feel well, i was secretly (not so secret anymore) happy that they didn't call in either of these past two days. 'specially last night 'cause whenever i was about ready to kill a guest, i don't know why, but it was sorta comforting to look up and see them working a few feet in front of me. dindin with hayley and meghan was fun tonight, except i ordered macaroni salad and it wasn't macaroni salad. and me and meghan are going to write a book of advice for the male species, it'll be good. i wish i was beautiful, not even beautiful .. i'd be satisfied with being pretty or cute or something .. i don't know, it's no fun. I stumbled upon you and gratefully bask in your rays |
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| Monday, December 20th, 2004 |
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bon soir mes amis. so i am going to sally sue a little bit in this journal entry (ps i'm not even sure of the correct definition/use of 'sally sue' but still, i will use it). anywhoaroo, el weekend wasn't bad actually. i thought it was going to be dreadful and unbearable and no way i could get through it but na uh, it was quite relaxing and reassuring. saturday i went christmas shopping with biffy. we went to target and the mall. target was more fun though because i knew people and it was a good and happy target trip son. the mall, all i have to say is that i need to get my name changed. oh yeah, and all i have to say is that there was the cutest baby ever when me and biffy were eating, he liked me lol. sunday i worked and then came home and did more schoolwork in one night than i have in the first three and a half months combined. whatevs. today was bad. just a bad day. tonight, not so bad. i don't know, everything that could go wrong starting from 7am to 5pm did go wrong. like dumbass cars that don't work .. :) .. saul good. but i talked to jmoney for like 98375737 hours and he made me lol plenty of times, and friend meghan as well .. ps friend meghan has her computer back and it has made my life soo much better. i think tomorrow will be a much better day. yeah so, day by day things are gradually getting better, i'm pretty much happy ashley again, just a few rough days last week. gosh damn me, i should've listened to hayley a week ago when she told me that i don't need to worry! so do you ever have those friends, no - acquaintances, that you don't plan on buying christmas presents for but then you find out they bought you something and then you feel obligated to get them something and if you are lucky, you were smart and decided to buy a few extra small gifts for incidents like this? yeah, well welcome to my life. i am very well used to this incident and discovered that my dear friend caitlin would have to experience it tomorrow, so i gave her a fair heads up. okay, the point .. it provided us with the quote of the day.. :: Caitlin: and this this right here is why i think christmas is annoying :: i'm out .. gotta go watch the last minute and forty-three seconds of the New England/Miami football game .. hehe .. go pats |
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| Friday, December 17th, 2004 |
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But, I believe in you so much I could die for the words that you say hmm alot going on but i just don't know how to express it in words. wednesday night sucked majorly and the only person who actually made me genuinely smile was Jer. *thankyou to everyone these past few days.. 'specially hayley, biffy, meghan my hero, christina, adria, and des .. six of the greatest friends in the world who are more than willing to put up with me .. had a bff night tonight with biffy and meghan, my mind wandered a few times but all and all it was a good night. let's recap it real quickly.. this was the extent of our conversations: "i want to go to the fucking airport" >turn my world upside down, find me |
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| Sunday, December 12th, 2004 |
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this weekend wasn't too exciting, with the exception of friday night. work wasn't too bad last night, sorta let down but oh well. ps mindy is idk, just like my evil twin and i love it. sort of a mixed night, i was talking to hayley, dave and bif and they all are such lovely people and made me laugh but i still was sad, not sad, just worn out .. like i wanted to cry. there's multiple things going on with my sister and then there's other stuff that i don't talk to many people about, like a few things that are peeving me lately and i wanted it all to go away for a little while. it seems kinda stupid now but we all have bad nights. then i talked to christina and she made feel better because she understands where i am coming from. and later i talked to derek, and i don't even think he knew how down i was but just talking to him made me feel so much better especially 'cause it's the one thing i have going on in my life that always makes me happy and i don't have to worry about. watched bourne identity again last night .. and tonight ... so what. i really like the movie. i'm entitled to like a movie alot and watch it every available opportunity in which i can. haha i just thought of something, i was tellng my dad about our abstinence seminar thing and he is like "wow that sounds informative, maybe we should ask him to give it in jamie's room" o ps .. one thing i learned from last night, hayley is EVIL *wink* - she is also beautiful and i know everything will be okay for her because she's an incredible girl who deserves nothing but good things prayers for friend nicole's family derek said he would update his journal (finally) tonight .. hehe .. we shall see |
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| Saturday, December 11th, 2004 |
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so lately i have been on this kick where i respond to everything with "your mom", either that or i end every sentence with "son" .. yeah, and i'm not ghetto ... pshaw today in school, jason evret came and talked i thought it was going to be two hours of "sex is bad, don't have it" but not at all. he turned it into like a stand-up routine. i loved when he was like "you're not slow .. you're just special" (too bad five people came up to me and said their immediate reaction was "that is something ashley would say") .. "i want herpes!!" < that made me lol too! alot of things he said made me think. i'm not saying i support abstinance or not being intimate. instead of preaching the negatives of premarital sex, he just told us to make sure we know our own self-worth and found self-dignity and respect for ourselves and the guy we are with fully respects us and has self-control. he kept repeating that our body is a gift, idk, never thought of it that way. what he said that struck me was "don't fear losing him over what you won't do, make him fear losing you over not respecting what he found" oceans twelve came out today. i want to see it. speaking of movies, i made derek pinkypromise tonight to take me to the movies soon. idk why, i have an urge to go to the movies and also, the first time we were supposed to hang-out, like in summertime, we were going to see a movie - the notebook to be exact - but then something came up (rather important too) and we started talking and never went and i wonder how much of that derek actually even remembers ... hmmm .. went out with hayley and bff tonight. hayley and myself gathered and then went to target to wait for biffy to get out. jose was tres funny. (i stink good). then we went out to eat, hey, i just remembered that i only made one trip to the salad bar and didn't even get macaroni salad. what a rip-off. anyways, then we went back to target, bought blowpops and a magazine and sat in food ave for 45 minutes. donna is funny and cute and like my mom. my favorite was there too .. so much for the not talking to them thing, it is soooo far out the window. we both knew that i could never pull that one off.. hehe.. On behalf of every man Looking out for every girl You are the god and the weight of her world |
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| Wednesday, December 8th, 2004 |
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today school started off with a mass, and this mass provided us with the quote of the day: *after communion* Me: "The Lord tastes a little spongey today .. does the Lord expire?" oh yeah - caitlin has shingles. i love how she paid the doctor twenty bucks for the free diagnosis i gave her two days ago! after school, bif and myself went to target to say bye to our favorite gstl ever. it's gonna be a looong month without brucey. but hey, guess what .. derek was working :) :) :) ... we pulled into the parking lot and i'm like "hey is that caesar" .. haha probably like two people including myself has any idea about caesar and i now i've just confused everyone else .. anyways, so i'm like "hey is that caesar?" and we go in the store and low and behold there is the beauty that is derek. it made my day. older dashboard music is the shit and the oc is on tomorrow night. me and christina talked alot tonight. yay. happy happy happy. speaking of happy, in psych the other day we were talking about how when we are in a state of happiness everything is much better. it's sooo true. ever since i had my revelation two weeks ago, i have been so happy and things that used to bother me and i would dwell on, i sort of drop them right away. there's no point in worrying until you are given a reason to worry and i don't have any reasons to worry. having that revelation two weeks ago is the best thing that's happen to me in a long time. :) |
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| Tuesday, December 7th, 2004 |
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i am in a very tranquil mood tonight. as we speak, i am supposed to be studying for my psych test but i don't want to .. maybe i will use some of the ideas in this entry and underline them .. hmmm .. yesterday at school, i don't know if anything happened. let me think... thinking, thinking, thinking .. OH YEAH .. caitlin has shingles, and it's just the beginning phase .. uhhuh that's right, i (myself) diagnosed caitlin with shingles. i really didn't want to go to school or mercedes .. although bif (whom makes my biffy love fluctuate) brought the snack and holler - COCA COLA <-- it satisfied my hunger drive and biological needs, and also will one day cause me to be obese. the only thing that was motivating me was knowing that i would be able to see derek later in the day, almost like an extrinsic reward. so yeah, after school necessisities were finished i headed to target to meet up with derek. i purely enjoy anytime i am with him. i don't know, i just sat here and tried to think of what to write and all i could do was smile everytime my eyes read the name "derek". i think that's enough said, my instincts are telling me that soon all will be well, i hope more than anything that they are right. today i went back to school, its a never ending cycle i tell ya. sad news: caitlin does not have shingles! oh phuey! after school i .. i .. i.. I WENT TO WORK, oh my word, i have the worst memory ever.. it was like wicked busy when i first got there but then i was sent to food avenue express, which was alot of fun (and when i say alot, i mean none). biffy came in and i saw hayley alot and derek was working and all of this incited alot of emotions inside of me. especially happiness since i love each of them differently and in their own ways. it's no fun to have a bad night, i know it happens and it sucks but still .. it's no fun, 'specially if i really do care about you 'cause then it sorta makes me sad to see that you are having a bad night and all i want is to see you smile .. i have no idea that made any sense, but it does in my head. sometimes i wish people wouldn't get involved in certain situations i have going on 'cause alot of the times i have to go back and tell someone that it wasn't me who thought or said something, it was how the person who is getting involved perceived it .. know what i mean? but i think they know me well enough to believe what is true and what not. it 'causes much imbalance in my life. i think that's really the reason i just completely broke down on saturday, i couldn't handle people prying into my life anymore and i had reached my limit. but i am done with that, i am kosher with things now and totally fine with what's going on and circumstances and such. i just don't want to lose what i have. i don't think i will but it's scares me to think that it could happen. to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world ... (.kisses.) |
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| Sunday, December 5th, 2004 |
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good evening my fellow friends. i'm not quite sure what i am going to write but i feel the urge to journal. we can start of by recapping my weekend if you want, well it doesn't matter what you want, i'm gonna talk about what i want to talk about. on friday (as mentioned in my previous entry) i went to applebees with a bunch of target people, including meghan my hero and bff my bff, and then to the bowling alley. it was a good night, i was wicked tired but had to get up at 730 for work. saturday, if you are smart and read the above sentence you would know that i worked. 8-3 cashier with my Brucey! except i didn't really cashier, for the like the first hour and a half i did but then i was pulled to process red cards and do whatever Bruce told me to for the next five and a half hours. oh yeah, yesterday was also the day where i completely broke down at work. after work i went out with meghan. one of the things we did was eat because we love to eat, TGIFridays .. yum! the brownie obsession is tres good. i want one now. kohl's too.. that was fun, i think we walked around the store five times. i love meghan. no workywork today, so i slept in til like 1130 and got the bestest wake up surprise ever! four episodes of full house!!!! oh i was in heaven. talked to derek for a little bit. went out for a while with some family members cause it was chris's birthday so we went out to eat and such. it was good to see chris because he is probably the only family member who truly understands me. theresa was there too, all i will say is that the family separated us. came home and watched two more episodes of full house. i'm a tincy wincy bit .. okay alot of bit excited for tomorrow night. hehe.. let's hope all will be well, i have a strong feeling it will be .. i must go now, i must talk to edoyle and there is a blowpop calling my name and i cannot resist! |
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| Saturday, December 4th, 2004 |
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went out tonight with meghan, gregory, mindy, bff, and hayley. after applebees, meghan, mindy, and myself hung out at the bowling alley for a little while 'cause we are loooosers. GoatMaN6798: hahah what do u get when u cross a banana with those fake glasses with a mustache imagines 75: idk what? GoatMaN6798: RYAN GOMEZ'S FACE so me and dftg are having the most hilarious conversation ever right now. aww how funny we are, it should be a crime! you can check his blurty for a quick recap! ps davey - i'm sorry, dave told me tonight that he admires me (made me :D) the way i am handling things right now and how everyone else is trying to tell me what to do but i'm kinda, well i don't, really see the need to listen to them because they have no idea what is going on.. basically how i have so much hope, and it made me think.. i know i have this hope for an amazing reason. i don't know, i totally need to vent , but i don't want to do it here. i don't like getting too personal with my entries. i started talking to someone about it tonight but i don't know, it just wasn't who i wanted to talk, it didn't seem like i could be open and say everything that is bothering me. i really want to talk to derek. he always makes me feel better about everything. |
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| Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 |
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happy december!!! purchasement (i don't even know if that's a word and i just got derek's verification .. it is made up) of the kelly clarkson cd today .. it's amazing, pure, raw talent with none of that electronic mixing production crap. i'm not a big fan of pop music but i am obsessed with kclark. went to target after school .. saw brucey and food ave adam not hayley though, she came after i left .. tears .. oh my word, but derek was there .. totally the mostest important part. i told you everything, i opened up and let you in, you make me feel alright for once in my life |
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| Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 |
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*blowpops are good .. 'specially the watermelon ones *i watched The Bourne Identity again tonight 'cause i am awesome, no - actually, it's 'cause i have no life. *kelly clarkson's cd came out today! woo hoo! i didn't purchase it yet, probably tomorrow... shutup, i like her and am not afraid to say it! * (she's on leno at this very moment) *i didn't attend school yesterday - nor did Christina, BFF, or Despina - i found this humorous. ::quote of the day:: Me: "Shutup, I know I am four years old" Caitlin: "I know, but you do realize that you are re-gressing, not pro-gressing. You are going to be in college with the mindset of a two year old" *we (caitlin and myself) had a very entertaining study hall today. it was just our crazy psychoness, coming up with more baseball tactics and schemes. >> i also enjoyed our intense video game discussion, 'specially the hardcore Halo 2 analysis .. yeah i know, Halo 2, whoa .. too bad neither one of us knows what we are talking about in regards to the game but it was fun to get real intense and pretend we do. conclusion: we both know how to walk around and explore the game very well; also: dying is no fun. on the serious side, end of october to the middle of november wasn't such a good time for me. had alot going on and alot dependent on me and i wanted to breakdown and give up, and there were those few people who wouldn't let me do that. 'specially two certain people who were there to listen when i needed them and be open and honest with, and i adore (UFF.. hehe) both of them. and i think i even took a little bit of it out on one of them, which isn't cool (me sorry). they reminded me who i am and what it is that everybody supposedly sees in me. i don't know, it feels good to be so renewed in a sense, but still me... i need to thank them |
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| Sunday, November 28th, 2004 |
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good weekend, happy weekend .. yay for two good weekends in a row! i discovered that i spent about 25 hours of my thanksgiving break in target ... but i ain't got no beef with it, my time was well spent erin doyles record was beaten today .. by erin doyle (she had a few competitors but no overtakers) ... 228 im's to my away message in just under five hours .. good job erin. new goal is 229 or one that makes me :) I watched the Bourne Identity tonight - "Jason Bourne is dead, you hear me? He drowned two weeks ago. You're gonna go tell 'em that. I swear to God, if I even feel somebody behind me, there is no measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your doorstep. I'm on my own side now." ^ totally my favorite part of the movie sidenote .. make a mental note .. Bourne Supremacy will be released on DVD on December 7th, 2004 .. yay, just in time for the xmas season!! ... so i was typing this entry when i started talking to the lovely hayley and found out a 'lovely' piece of information and i got totally sidetracked but i am back now ... its fucked up how one person can piss me off to the extreme .. it's not even like i am jealous of them, they don't have anything i want (if anything, it's the other way around), they just irritate me.. who knows, it's pointless to think about it, no worries .. moving onward .. i've been in a rather delightful mood lately. i like it that way. it's been nice to be so optimistic and refreshed lately and know in my heart that everything will be okay. it's different to discover how happy a boy can make me, but there is so much more to it than that, he's not just anybody, any boy.. .. .. he is my one and only favorite .. my night has become a sunny dawn because of you |
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| Friday, November 26th, 2004 |
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this entry is dedicated to the gorgeous and absolute sweetheart Hayley, 'cause she is the love of my life.. duh. :) ;) :D erin doyle left me 159 messages to my away today while i was at work, it made my life complete. i saved it. i want to see someone try and top that (good luck). you can either do 160 or just one really sweet message that'll make me smile, your choice. turkey day was good. the family came to my house. devil child slept over wednesday night and tortured me all thursday morning (even though some people don't think she's the devil, i am convinced otherwise). torture, torture, torture ... i should be counting my blessings that i am alive to type this entry. black friday wasn't bad. i remember last year, that was bad. this year was kinda like a busy christmas shopping day, that's all. or maybe it's just now i have had an extra year of retail experience and am very mellow when it comes to my job. donna gave me the job of 'floater', which meant unlike other days, today i was given permission to wander around and do nothing. how could i forget to mention that david was working? holler to the dave. know who wasn't working, hayley .. tear. but know who did work, derek. i like that boy. i like that boy and his two earrings. he is cuuu-uuuute. hehe. people who don't get the hint and are relentless, pester me. but hey, i won .. so there. i am wicked tired but probably wont go to bed for another hour or so. |
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| Thursday, November 25th, 2004 |
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-->thanksgiving eve *04 was a tremendous day<-- 330 bif came and got me and we went to applebees to meet up with some fellow employees who were really mean to me but who cares, they suck anyways. highlight was when duncan sheik's "barely breathing" was played. then to earthtones but that sucked. dun dun dun .. Target trip #1 (535pm) - bif had to buy orajel and i had to buy hair products. we talked to hayley, bruce, meghan, jen, jeffrey, derek .. a normal trip. oh yeah and david and shellDawg happened to be there too. how f-u-n. apparently i have grown a 'tidge' and look 'damn good'. we decided to go to wegmans but realized everything we were going to buy there could be purchased at target with our discount, so we went back. plus, i remembered i had to show derek my hole, so i wanted to do that. Target trip #2 (625pm) - i showed derek my hole in the pouring rain (tis okay, i love rain). then jose followed us around saying "get a life, get a life, get a life, get a life" and then meghan was able to leave early, so we all decided to go to taco bell and eat Target trip #3 (647pm) - we wanted to invite david to go to taco bell with us but he unfortunately couldn't go. i wasn't able to fully enjoy my nacho belle grande with meghan. that was no fun. and the place is total sketchball.. meghan thinks its bugged; with secret spies who sit next to us too. and whos brilliant idea was it to make the color scheme of a mexican restaurant pastel purple, green, and pink? good job. well who cares, i got my sour cream and that's all that matters. Target trip #4 (806pm) - we had to go tell hayley what happened, of course .. so we ran into target so jose wouldnt see us but as we stormed into the break room, he was standing right there and just stared at us .. so we told hayley what she needed to know .. ps i just remembered how delish derek's cappuccino was .. yum .. double ps i like derek, alot. Target trip #5 (1014pm) - theresa needed tights, so my aunt vicki and i ventured to target. she is umm crazy and i love it. it was a :) time. *i missed the tim mcgraw special tonight* poopface so tonight i had this revelation. i know i knew it deep down all along but tonight it smacked me in the face like 'you moron, you need to stop worrying, everything will be fine. what you need has been right in front of you and there for you the whole time'. i don't know why it took til tonight or how it happened, but i am sincerely glad it happened. i am happy, like glowing happiness stand up boy, I shine so bright when you're around |
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| Wednesday, November 24th, 2004 |
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i would like to dedicate this entry to the amazing and incredible LIZ WEEKS. shoutout to the one and only Biffizzle. i know youre jealous but only the elite are in our secret club, don't fret (in the words of Weeks, "it's sweet dudes"). soOoOooOoOOoo (that was fun), today i went to school and it started off with an exhilirating (i always spell this word with only an 'x' because of xhiliration at target.. it rules my life) game of badmitton against SARAH KEPPLER and jenn. no joke, jess can vouch for it, there was extreme running and diving on my part. .. .we had a prayer service today for advent and were asked to think of how we can let our own "light" shine through. i didn't have to think hard to figure mine out: i will be selfless for the people who need me the most and continue to support and embrace them. apres l'ecole, jsizzle and i made a quick stop at target. brucey and derek were working, my how lucky can a girl get? i watched 'miracle' tonight. good movie. it actually provoked emotion inside of my cold heart. in psych we are studying motivation and emotion, most psychologists believe in the "humanisitic theory", in which we are motivated to answer the question 'what fulfills us?'. my immediate answer was love and the beauty it brings into ones life, happiness. other people said money, high power jobs, vacations, cell phones, good clothing, leaving rochester .. and it made me sad, that some people really only see those things as important in life. as i was talking to the amazing liz weeks (as well as chad fink, hayley, and this boy whom i have an extremely strong liking for (hehe) ) .. i wrote her a song .. READ IT.. liz weeks is cool cool cool, she swims in a pool pool pool, like mary mack mack mack, all dressed in black black black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back, she jumped so high, high, high, she reached the sky, sky, sky, and didn't come back, back, back, til the fourth of july, july, july (15 days before my birthday) so let my five day weekend begin! except target missed the memo that i like to see certain people outside of work. saddness. no seeage of derek this weekend :(. it's okay, another time, like next week or something. i don't know. i have been saving smiles for you ... i am trying to stay positive people, i do not need another reason to go crazy! i'm out .. peace |
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| Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004 |
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we began the badmitton unit in physical education today - i know you are jealous, i am amazing at it and am not afraid to share it with everyone --> i just thought of this conversation from this weekend and it made me lol someone on the walkie: "does any team member know what aisle electric blankets are in" me: "no .. shutup" chad fink: "your mom aisle" <-- this was taken from david's blurty entry from last night, it too made me lol "yea so ashely nuccie and i were talkin tonight and it was funny...i quoted destinys child (can u keep up??!!! baby boy let me lose my breath bring the noise let me lose my breath HIT me hard let me lose my breath!)...and she was like dave your horny..and i was like yea arent you? and she said yes....and i thought it was funny " okay, straight up, there's a certain occurrence that i have now realized, after talking to hayley tonight, will never reach to the point of a compromise as much as i have tried for two months. the relationship means too much to me then to continue disagreeing and being upset all the time because of it. right now is the end of my thinking about it until i am given a reason to think about it, which best not happen ... ever. and i don't think it will, actually i know it won't, but i am a girl and sometimes i worry but i'm done doing that now. my body aches to breathe your breath. your words keep me alive |
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Blurty for ashley.
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frustrated.
numb.
tired.
blank.
loved.
energetic.
calm.