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Jenn

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[03 Dec 2007|09:57pm]
Really need to pull my finger out now this is getting so stupid!
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[20 Nov 2007|11:00am]
I hate it i hate it i hate it i hate i hate it. and i dont know why. and i want to go home. NOW.
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[20 Apr 2007|08:21pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

BIG BIG ARGH!

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Odd [01 Feb 2007|11:10am]
[ mood | restless ]

I dunno why, but i'm in a very weird mood. Its like I have itchy feet and i dunno what to do with myself.
Iv got a practical at 1.30 which im really not looking forward to cos I have to write coursework on it and if i muck something up or dont understand it I'm so very very doomed.
I just get so panicy about every single practical. I dont know why. They're not that scary. So what if i dont know anyone? Most of the time its just get on with it by yourself stuff. I wanted to stay in bed today, but i'll fail the coursework if i dont go, i just feel like total shit. Nothing is going right, i miss russell so so much it hurts and it comes over me in waves. I cant even bear to take down the picture of me and him, it hurts too much.
I just want to hug him and kiss him and all that other sentimental crap, he really was my world and no matter how much i tell people i'm over him and i like other people, it all boils down to him.

I want my rusty crunch back.

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[08 Jan 2007|12:23pm]
Pain. Ow. Save me?
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[11 Dec 2006|05:14pm]
wooo 58% in microbiology coursework.
and and and i forgot to say i got 92% in the excel part of sisda coursework :) yays!
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well [09 Dec 2006|11:29pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

so much has happened since i last updated this, so lets see what i can do.

I went home for the weekend on the 2nd november, as I missed a data analysis tutorial cos i really needed to spend some time at home. It was a really good weekend, dani came back too as she had a reading week, so we went to brighton and got fatter on the friday. As it was sarah weaver's birthday we went to liquid and got into the VIP lounge. This was when we met lea :D it was all rather exciting. I drank faaar too much and it was extremely expensive!
Then on the saturday me n my mum went christmas shopping in guildford which was really good, we went to starbucks and had a good natter and yeh, i miss my mum so much!!
Sunday i had to go home again, and mum took me to guildford station as there was work on the line, but i got back here by 3.30 so spose it wasnt too bad, although a bit emotional as usual.
So I've been getting assignments back, i got 74% in cell biology, 55% in human phys/pharm and iv been averaging 60% in the data analysis tests so thats all good.
So then i went home again during reading week, which was 18th - 26th november, spent most of teh time doing more assignments such as biological molecules cos it was complicated and took bloody ages. Went to the lynd twice as well. Well, the night before i came back here, i was told about the dirty deed that russell did. and promptly dumped him the next day. but over the following week i missed him like hell, and it was like id lost a vital organ or something. So when dani offered to drive me home the following weekend i jumped at the chance.
Eventually met up with russell at like 11.30 on the saturday night in sainsburies car park of all places, and had a massive chat, and we both cried and laughed and cried some more. But in the end, we got back together, he promised to never do anything like that again, and he knows what'll happen if he does do something.
I just love him so much, and it took me that week apart to realise it.
So this week i'm back in bristol after russell drove me back here on sunday, twas nice to spend a bit of time together like we used to. Then he came to visit on wednesday which was really cool, as we went into town to pay in my bursary cheque (i now have money!!yayyyayy!!), and then we went on to cribbs causeway (massive shopping centre) and wandered around being couply. And then we came back here and i cooked dinner, but he had to leave around 7.30 so that was poo. Really didnt want him to go, its weird, its like we've started all over again and it all feels new and exciting.
Next week i have a human disease exam, instead of coursework, which is poo, i much prefer doing coursework!
So yeh, its 7 days til i go home for christmas, where iv got to do lots of revision as i have 6 exams in january which really sucks, but im going home again on 17th january which is all good.
Christmas is gonna be the best this year, mum n mat have a tree already but they're not decorating it til i get back which is good hehe. I love tree decorating!!
On the 22nd mums working the night shift so me n mat are going to tescos at 1am to do some last minute food shopping hehe, im so excited! Me n mat have been getting on so well recently, i think he misses having me around really.
But yeh now its getting late and i would like some sleep really, hmmm, more revision tomorrow what fun, but i think iv updated enough!
Social life is still crap btw but nevermind.

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fuck. [01 Oct 2006|02:58pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

So here I am, two weeks later and its shit. I love lectures and practicls, but everything else is so overwhelming. Its hard to make friends cos my flatmates are so different to me, and cos so many different people do the same first year modules i haven't been able to make friends that way as the groups change all the time. I might talk to one person one day, and then not see them again for ages. Its tough. So at the moment i'm being quite a loner, but i kinda like it that way, i can do what i want when i want, its just a tad depressing sometimes. Today i'm feeling worse than ever cos i feel really ill and crampy and all i wanna do is curl up with a hot water bottle and have my mum to talk to, but a) i dont have a hot water bottle here and b) my mums not here either. I actually hate it, if i wasnt enjoying my lectures so much i would have packed up and gone home by now. But i cant, i need this to make a go of life. I just wish i'd stuck to my original plans and not listened to my mum. I would have been able to live at home or in horsham with rusty and driven to brighton uni, it would have been so much nicer and easier, and i might have had a shot at getting on the MPharm degree as well. Oh this is just shit. I've got a few people around like tamsin in the centre, claire in the 2nd year, katie over in carroll court, and laura in bath, but its not the same as being in a place where i'm comfortable. I just feel like an alien at the moment, i know nothing about where i am, and im scared to go into the city centre on my own. I'm just not cut out for all this adult stuff in a new scary place, and with no friends to share new experiences with everything is scary. Like i havent used the launderette yet but im gonna have to soon and im really scared cos if i ask a flatmate to help they're gonna think im weird, and if i ask someone in the launderette they;'re gonna wonder why i havent been in there yet, and of course the reason was i couldnt cope with freshers week and went home again. I would do anything to be home right now. Some people have nice timetables and finish early on thursday and have fridays off, and if that was me id be going home like every weekend i bet. But its sods law i get a 4.30 finish every friday, and trains are expensive in the evenings, and it wouldnt be worth it to just come back on a sunday afternoon again. I've got some things planned like russells coming this wednesday for a few days, and the weekend of the 14th im praying mums gonna come see me and we go to bath, then the weekend of the 20th i plan to go see dani, then the 23rd cate is coming to stay for a few days which im hoping will cheer me up, then i go home for a week on the 18th november, already booked the train tickets and everything cos im so excited to be going home. I've just been throwing myself into lectures and essays at the moment, cos it gives me something to do other than sit on the internet all day. Even though iv got all this planned i would do ANYTHING to go home. Anything at all.

I might go make some cup a soup now, see if that helps.

I just long for familiarity and stuff, if i still feel like this when i go home for a week im scared im not gonna come back here again. Even though i will have to. I'm hoping that if it really is still bad then mum will see that i cant cope and wont kill me quite so much. I can always reapply and do Pharm sciences at brighton next year, i dotn mind starting again cos i'll be at home and happy.

I hate bristol.

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Updating from uni! [18 Sep 2006|12:48pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Watching loose women ]

Well as you have probably guessed i got into uwe! yay! Even though my grades were crap i had enough ucas points for my offer, so yay for that :)
So I'm here, and its quite stressful, i like my sleep, but i havent been getting much, hence why i slept in til midday today which is rare for me to sleep in quiite so long.
Went out to the su bar for a bit last night and spoke to some random people so that was all good.
Induction starts tomorrow which i cant fucking wait for, i need to meet some like minded people, all the people in the flat seem to like to drink every night and stuff and i just cant cope with it. Not sure whats happening for the rest of the week but hopefully rusty should come up on sunday which will be fucking ace.
Im so emotional atm its really fucking me off, but i spose im just going through the motions.
Still yet to find anyone else on the phys/pharm course though which is pretty annoying but hopefully im not the only one! They must be hiding somewhere.
Oh and iv joined the gym here, mum paid for it, it was £150 for the year to use the gym for nothing anytime of the day. But its well worth it, i just have trouble with managing to wash my gym clothes everyday, cant afford to use launderette everyday so have to sink wash but the smell doesnt really go grr. I think if i manage to go home for a bit i'll go buy loads of random cheap tops for the gym.
Right my arms hurt now.

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wooah [30 Jul 2006|11:51am]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | Undertones - Girls That Don't Talk ]

Its been so long since iv updated this, so i'll probs accidently miss out loads of stuff. But anyway. Exams are now all over, and its the middle of the summer, and as of yet i haven't been able to find a job for the summer, but i am planning to go and investigate at clarks tomorrow. So yeh, exams were ok, not long til results now, scary stuff. Had my big rugby club birthday party as well which was superly cool and loads of fun.
Also been to ibiza for a week, which was really good fun, but also quite stressful, 4 girls sharing one apartment means lots of hormones and bitching. Was so glad to get home you wouldnt believe, but i went to a big club,and that was my main aim so yay. Also went to loads of bars and shizz, the drunken parts were good anyway :P
Erm I dunno what else has gone on, errr last night was dani's big party bus clubbing trip, which i didnt go to because i have no money, wasnt going to drink, couldnt get home again plus on thursday dani hardly spoke to me and drove off without saying bye, and when i text her saying i was ill and couldnt go to her party I havent heard a single thing from her. If it was the other way round i would have at least text her to make sure she was ok. Fucking bitch. Haven't heard from anyone else either, and russells on holiday, so im all bored on my own, with only my daily gym trips to look forward to. Determined to be much thinner by the time i leave for uni.
I got all the accomodation gubbins through when i got back from my holiday, iv spent hours reading through it and sutff, its sooo exciting. Iv already about some spotty mugs in a stack, cos iv kinda gone into house mode, ooh and i got a peeler i can use. Woo. Just praying i get into uwe now :)

Also seen placebo and rhcp since i last updated. And iv got sunday reading coming up on august bank holiday weekend. Placebo again!! woopppp

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woop [05 Mar 2006|04:57pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | MEEE ITS MY BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEEE ]

Happy Birthday to meeeeee

Today has been so good, im not pregnant!! And now im on the pill so yeeeeaaahhh.

LAst night had people over: mr n mrs phil, mr n mrs alec, mitchison, dani, mr n mrs thomas, and of course russell. Got very drunk but quite quickly, so id sobvered up a bit by the time mum got back at 11.50pm lol.
Had such a great time, me n dani sang loads as usual.
Russell stayed round which was cool, although i kept falling out of bed. Damn him. Went to guildford today and bought loads of cds using mums credit card lol.
Rusell gave me a white gold necklace thingy for birthdayness, its soo loverly. :D He even gave mat a tenner as well which is like so uberly nice. Im soo in loove aaaaahhh.
Now russell's gone, im sitting here bored, and i wanna see dani. SHe hasnt replied to my text though :( I shall tephelone her though woop.

This is the new 18 yr old jenn over n out.

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[24 Feb 2006|04:48pm]
whoever replied to my last post then please make yourself known!!!!

But anyway, panic over kinda, twas the 24th january i had my last period cos it was the day of the evul biology exam. So theres no need to panic....yet.
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well [22 Feb 2006|10:12am]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Placebo ]

well here we are, wednesday morning when i have a nice lie in. Although i didnt sleep all that well, i cant remember when i last had a period, but it seems like quite a while. This worries me quite a lot. I know we always used protection n that, but what if it split n we didnt notice? Or something similar?! Im really scared. If I dont start by the end of the month *6 days time* thats when im really gonna worry. I dont want anyone knowing what im doing so im gonna have to do this on my own. FFs. Im only not on the pill yet cos i have to wait til my next period to start taking it, and the period has just like gone! Argh! This is just so annoying. What the fuck am i gonna do?!

In other news, i got my new car and its amaaazing.

Ok so now back to shitting myself.

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NEW CAR!!!11!!11!1! oneoneone [09 Feb 2006|11:13am]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | Placebo - Song To Say Goodbye ]

I get my brand new red ka late next week :D Im sooo excited. Now to find a buyer for percy!

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[05 Feb 2006|06:34pm]
Jas says she's sending me something, but i will be mildly suprised if it comes within the next week or so.
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ho hum [19 Jan 2006|11:53am]
[ mood | stressed ]
[ music | Vengaboys - We're going to ibiza ]

So its that time of year again where the depression and stress sets in due to exams and revision. Great!
Had unit 2 chem retake yesterday and didnt go too bad, although i know theres some things i did a bit wrong so we shall see when i get the results. Got pears today and im predicted CCCc :D yaaaaaay *dances*
Got chem unit 4 on monday, and bio unit 5 on monday so they're gonna be really evul. I cant remember anything! ARGH!!!

Anyhoo, went to cinema last night with russell, alec, sophie, adam and vikki m. Was quite random yet cool, watched jarhead which was cool but dragged on a bit and i was falling asleep towards the end. Russell kept nudging me :( i wanted to sleeeeeeeep. So yeh didnt get home til like 12 last night so was kinda dead this morning but oh well. Decided to come home in this free cos everyone had buggared off and i dint fancy sitting in the lrc on my lonesome. Might pop round russell's later and see him as mums working a late again.

Looked at anpther car the other day, but the mileage counter had stopped, and there was a hole in the steering wheel so seemed dodgy. Dad wants to go back and look at a seicento we looked at last week, to check if the body work thats been done to it is paint or metal or something. But so far the car hunt is cool, theres several out there, its just a case of going to look at them. Does seem to be a fair few down in brighton so i imagine we'll be heading down tehre sometime soon.

Percys MOT on wednesday, but dads taking him tuesday evening which is a bit crap, but ah well. Should have him back by wednesday afternoon *fingers crossed* i so hope he passes, i dont have the money to fix him :( Gah.

Hmm im really bored. ooh a text from phil, hmm. Might go back to college i really am that bored.

Ttfn.

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woah [08 Jan 2006|03:03pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | Beethoven - Septet in E flat (I) ]

well it certainly has been a long time since a proper update. I am currently in full on revision mode. Which is proving to be a challenge with everything else thats going on.

But so far so goooood.

Er so whats new? Apart from the recent getting together of myself and rusty, not much really.

Mums well upset cos a date she went on last night didnt go too well. So thats really sucky, But i dunno what i can say to her really. Hmmm. Tis tricky.

New years eve was rather good, despite lack of rusty :(. Got very very drunk, i remember most stuff but there are some things i keep getting told that i dont remember happening. I couldnt remember texting people, and i dotn remember Sof phoning me at like 1am. But there we go! Must have been quite drunk then.

Jas text me the other day, she was in hospital or something *worrys*

Was sposed to go with rusty down to dads today for him to fix my back wiper and prepare percy for his MOT. But apparently its snowing down there so i shouldnt go or something. Gah stupid man.

Rugby club's been booked for me and claire's fantasmical party, so now i can start writing song lists and people lists and just generally lots of lists :D

Er yeh i think thats everything *ponders*

Yeh back to making notes for music. Fun fun fun.




<3 <3 rusty <3

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[26 Dec 2005|06:17pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Gloria Gaynor - I will survive ]

on friday night i was at his house, and everyone apart from driver me was a bit tipsy, and i was outside like randomly talking to him and the dirty smokers, and i was like mucking about with him and smacked his arse as a joke, but then he came up behind me and was like hugging me and holding my hands for ages, and i had this overwhelming urge to pounce him

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[10 Dec 2005|11:19am]
[ mood | dorky ]
[ music | Black eyed peas - my humps ]

So whats going on in the world of jenn i hear you cry?!

Well....

Tomorrow I have to go and pickl up a christmas tree in percy which should be fun yet interesting.
Sunday i have to go clothes shopping because of party next weekend and i have nothing to wear!
Erm going to brighton uni on wednesday for a welcome day thingy for the pharmaceutical and chemical sciences course so that should be goood.
Friday is the last day of term, so of course that involves me as a jazz band member and a "talented" A2 music student going down to st marys to do a stupid carol service for the 1st years. Oh the joy. This year this involves singing John Lennon's Happy Xmas. Great.
Er saturday is laura and naomi's 18th party down in dial post, to which i am driving to avoid the drunkness. Go me.
We think we've found somewhere good price wise for the holiday, in the quieter bit of ibiza! but kinda near the busy night bit so we can go crazy if we want to. Oh and also i can sing this song... WOAH WE'RE GOING TO IBIZA!! WOAAH!! BACK TO THE ISLAND!! WOAH!! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY!! WOAH!! IN THE MEDITTERANEAN SEAA!!

Ahem

Moving on.

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fuck sticks [05 Dec 2005|09:44pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | Brahms - Piano Quintet in F minor ]

grrr, benon has been driving me mad all friggin day, i want to kill him *stab stab stab stab*

Grr.

I really want to play some good music with people damnit, jazz band is cool but doesnt have all teh fulfillment a proper band practice has. Havent played with sof for like ages, and probably wont do for another ages. Gah. This sucks.

I hate my mood.

Why cant i be all cheerful like "normal"?

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