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| 12:36am 04/02/2006 | |||
 You are The Mad Hatter One thing is for sure- you're as mad as a hatter. You have an obsession with time and if tea time were to ever cease, you would probably be even more confused. What Alice in Wonderland Character Are You? brought to you by Quizilla  You're MALEFICENT. ...And like that name, you are magnificent and malicious. You are possibly the most evil of the Disney Villains and destroy lives for the fun of it. You are dominating, dark, brilliant, and the coolest! Random Title: You are also known as "The Mistress of Evil". Disney Villains -- Which one are you? brought to you by Quizilla  Mystique- You have no care one way or another. You just want to live in a world where you don't have to hide. Which Marvel villain are you? brought to you by Quizilla |
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| 10:29pm 03/11/2005 | ||||
Just when i thought I'd reach the bottom. You called my name and saved me from the dark. But you're not real and you can't save me. This pain is just too real. And i still can't find what keeps me here. My wounds cry for the grave. Where the wind will whisper to me. If i look deep enough; Suddenly i'll know i'm not sleeping. Look for me in the white forest. Forsaken all i've fallen for i rise to meet the end. |
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indifferent| 11:29pm 01/11/2005 | ||||
i'm flipping a coin. |
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distressed| 09:31pm 27/10/2005 | ||||
(1) You can always find something positive in even the most negative of situations. (2) Everything happens for a reason. A recent song i have fallen in love with. A Stranger- By A Perfect Circle. Cast the calming apple Up and over satellites To draw out the timid wild one To convince you it's alright And I listen for the whisper Of your sweet insanity while I formulate Denials of your affect on me You're a stranger So what do I care You vanish today Not the first time I hear All the lies What am I to do with all this silence Shy away, shy away phantom Run away terrified child Won't you move away you fucking tornado I'm better off without you Tearing my will down This song more or less dictates how i feel; how i wish i didn't feel. I wish i could turn back time and change everything. |
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depressed| Helpless | ||||
| 01:26pm 02/04/2005 | ||||
No one cares, too hard to bare. Let it seep deep within. To show yourself what you are. And how you've run so very far. "Too hard to fight, just let it go. No one knows, but can't hide forever. If only If only, if ever just only." The distance you've gone just to leave them. To distort them, to destroy them. To run and run..to end up nowhere. Dream the dream that isn't real. Falsify yourself so they can't see. "No one will see, no one will. But i want them to. i really do. I dream in black, I dream in white. They see white, But not the black." But I can see both. What's this fight for, if only to give up? "A battle to waste time, A battle, just to tell me i'm fine." Close your eyes, distort your mind. Guide the instrument that helps you feel. The only way that lets you deal. Full control over the life you possess. Euphoric as you watch it depress. Feel it as it burns through. Your life like a river, as you turn blue. Cover up, hide the truth. Save it for another night. One craving for a stronger fight. Just wake up, and they will see you. Because you want them to. You really do. |
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drained| Ðesperate | ||||
| 01:12pm 22/03/2005 | ||||
And i feel so....feel....so......."weak and powerless......over you" It's scary...how closely i can relate to lyrics. So i sit here in wonderment, thinking why bother talking about my problems, or writing them down in this.....silly thing. All i need to do is sing. No one will hear me, no one will listen. and i will be at peace, knowing i've told the world. And yet i want.....i...... don't know what i want anymore. My thoughts have become distorded. I know it will never happen. It's just not meant to be. It's plain to see. Too DIfferent, and indifferent --Just a series of things i'll never understand-- "out of sight out of mind."--> right? I hate how sayings like that are never true. 3x3 |
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drunk| Can't find the meaning behind my words | ||||
| 08:23pm 20/03/2005 | ||||
---------------------------------------------------------> ---------------------------------------------------------------------> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------> [you're a winner] I think i made something blatent today. I need to know how to keep my mouth shut. That way, i'm not Shut out myself. I always rake the leaves up, nice and neat. And always, a big gush of wind comes, and scatters them around everywhere; again. I'm a mess. and Ice Cold. And now i'm somehow hurt. <---3x3---> [why can't i discard you somehow?] ---good thing no one reads this shit--- |
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confused| Maybe You're Better Off This Way? | ||||
| 10:40pm 19/03/2005 | ||||
i need to escape it. But it drowns my thoughts with possibilities. Ones i know could never happen. --A world drapped in Ðarkness holds more §erenity, than a world bathed in light.-- Everything i see, i see while standing in the Shadows. Everything i know, i know because of this darkened state. But who can i tell, who can i help, when they don't want it? How can i convince them to listen, when they don't know i exist? One, i have. One, can see me as well as through me. One, with quick thought, disregards me. I want what i cannot have. As does death. They want each other, They hold hands. Mustn't let it happen so. Have to stop it, can't happen; no. One might slip away forever. I simple can't contend with two. I know i cannot have all three. So now i'm stuck with only one. Does this confuse you? Good, it confuses me too. }}-------------I flip the coin, it shines so bright. To take away this vacant plight. But still i sit in this cold night, And wait to be warmed by your pure light.------------------------------>>>> I slip and fall much too often. Wondering, if ever i can be happy. But i have gained something. Something that steals my thoughts. And makes me feel indescribably better. Whether i am or can be happy...the answer always eludes me. But whatever i feel now, is different. It makes me smile. It makes me think. It also makes me feel alive. --->3x3 |
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worried| §keleton §ong | ||||
| 01:44pm 12/03/2005 | ||||
Where has she been? Perhaps she never left. All this changing disguises. Staying the same. Why so angry? You're so lucky. Lucky girl. She will get injured In the slaughter Yeah, she's someone's Lucky daughter. But she can't control the lion's den. Only the water is her friend. Tough, luck, girl. Watch out. She's rabid. She can't look you in the eye. She can't control the lion's den. Only the water is her friend. Look. She's going away again. Look at her outstretched hand. I think she wants ths swan, To land on her. Girl.... -Skeleton Song by Johnny Hollow. Johnny Hollow opened for Jakalope during the March 4th concert, which i had the pleasure of attending. They were amazing, and to my luck, they were selling cds after the show. i picked up one.....and am still amazed. I've been listening to this song.....the skeleton song, continuously. I don't know why, but it's rather haunting. The cello, is amazing, it is too spellbinding, it's driving me insane with obsession.... I need to stop listening to this song... the sound; the words.. i just want to cry. it affects me too deeply. i want to cry, i try i try. but never; nothing. And i can't be broken. I can't release it, it never leaves. And yet...i can't let it go. It makes me weak; It makes me §trong. It makes me sing this dreadful song. The cello; a quiver, speaks so vividly. I want it. Lock me up with this instrument of amity. Like a ghost, i'll haunt this room with my cello's cries. Cry, cry, so that i may shed my tears of woe. Break me open, make me cry; that will be the day i die. What's wrong, what's wrong? everything, and nothing. These tears of acid burn too deeply. How Comforting. Euphoria, when will you be mine again? |
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melancholy| Pale Is Beautiful | ||||
| 01:47pm 10/03/2005 | ||||
hmm i'll try to work on that some more....to me it has some good lyrical potential, then i can add chords to it......and *bam* i have a song yay :) What i feel has dissapeared. it's only strong for another one. One not mine, One too far. One that makes it feel so wrong. If ever to hold, how long could it last? I wonder much, and many more. You elusive creature, i must have. I will catch you one day, even for a moment, You will be mine. Though i mean nothing to you... I'll set you free...and let it be.-- something else that just came to me... not the greatest...... but for your eyes only! Let us now commence the withdrawl of this fine day. Turn it to night, and paint it the blackest of blacks. Prick the holes of time, unwind. The night has eyes, they see you flee. Worry not my little pet. you're safe again, in your lonely shadow. Be the one that makes this day, always cold and gray. |
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complacent| Don't know the Name of this Poem | ||||
| 07:08pm 28/02/2005 | ||||
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. Prevent the dog barking with a juicy bone. Silence the pianos and with the muffled drums. Being out the coffin... let the mourners come. Let the aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead. Scribble in the sky the message: "He is dead." Out the crepe bows round the necks of public cloves. Let traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my North, my South, my East, my West. My working week and Sunday rest. My moon, my midnight, my talk, and my song. I thought love would last forever, I was wrong. The stairs are not wanted now, put out everyone. Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun. Pour out the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing can ever coe to any good. --W.H Auden |
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sleepy| hello | ||||
| 04:23pm 26/02/2005 | ||||
Not a peep, not a whisper, not a wave 'hello' Where do I go? Not up i know, But down below. Where now? I dare not say. Help me, help me, I think i'm lost. What is that smell? It's something bitter... Smoke perhaps? Who knows? who knows... I'm lost...i'm lost.. I dare not go, but down below. He waits for me that devil'd be. Waiting, watching, and waving... Hello |
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busy| 07:29pm 20/02/2005 | ||||
 ~My Immortal~ You're haunted by the past. You're either missing a lost love, an old friend, an ex, or merely just memories. You once were a happy person, and still are to some extent. You long for the way things were, or the way you want them to be. Maybe you simply woke up to see that a person very dear to you wasn't what you percieved them to be. Or mayeb you are in love with someone who doesn't even know you exist. But you still love them, and no matter what, they will still have all of you... "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, and although you're still with me, I've been alone all along." *Please Rate: It brings good Karma* Which Evanescence 'Origin' Song Are You? (With Pics!) brought to you by Quizilla ........."or maybe you're in love with someone, who doesn't know you exist"....... i think that has some truth to it. it'll fade... it all fades. |
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| why now? | ||||
| 06:21pm 20/02/2005 | ||||
yay i have a rant... i don't know why i left all my studying for the last possible day. stupid me *shakes head* i can't wait until tuesday. that means i'll be finished with monday. and then i have to me more school orriented...again. there's 6more weeks left... c'mon mel! you can do it! STOP BEING LAZY! ;) STUDY MEL STUDY! i know this is a dumb entry... but i'll help later on.. hmm maybe i'm just going crazy though... i keep thinking about certain people... people i want; the people i can't have. *sigh* and the people i want... i worry about. too many bad things happen in this world. .....i wish i were safe and sound. |
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| i made it mine. | ||||
| 11:18pm 19/02/2005 | ||||
I'd rather be dead, than be caught by you. You stole it before i could make it mine. But you were tossed away with ridicule. And now i have a taste of it. I miss the kiss that meant so little. It was thrown in your face. ...Stop the games. Forgive Winter. It Stole My Soul Again. |
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enthralled| HominaNocturna | ||||
| 02:00am 19/02/2005 | ||||
Raping everyone until your blood won't boil. All of this rejection and you just let it all go. Standing up straight making sure you won't fall. But they all look through you; shut the door you have to hide. Raping all the minds of those you thought you could trust. Always pushing harder till you have no one left to hold. A decomposing life and you keep falling on your knees. Can you feel the numb you have left inside yourself? Can you scratch the flesh just to pull it all out? Not this time... and no you don't. Bruise and bleed your knees and you can never get up. Lock yourself away with the only one you know. Rape yourself cold because you thought it would end. Let the blood run and now you feel on the outside. You thought you'd play them all. But no you don't... Keep yourself hidden, and I just won again. |
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cold| ashes to ashes | ||||
| 01:39am 19/02/2005 | ||||
This lucid dream seems so real. Can't make it stop, always behind me no matter how fast i go. I have dreamt a new dream, of darkness and decadence. Yet always the same. The faces i see, the things i touch. Crumble beneath me, and i walk on ashes. I must stop the sleep that decays within. I can't live a life that isn't real. Peel away the flesh too look inside. But what is real? And i look at the nothingness left inside of me. Numb me on the inside. So that i can't feel the blame. Let me go so that i can breathe. You can't keep me this way forever. I'll find my way out, and accept what i have. The pain inside i can never hide. Numb me on the inside. So i can simple survive. |
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| 03:02pm 16/02/2005 | ||||
ANd i will make you numb. Do i make you quiver? I see you felt a shiver. I tell you always not to worry. I'm just as bad, As you make me out to be. --She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet Cut myself on angel’s hair and baby’s breath Broken hymen of your highness I’m left black Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back-- [[Heart SHaped Box]] |
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content| why do you read me? | ||||
| 08:24pm 08/02/2005 | ||||
Why won't it end? I know I can end it all... But what's stopping me? I can feel §orrow's comfort once more. And I finally understand. The cause of my fears... They won't understand. And I stand alone. And lie to myself. Self-deception is always the hardest... Just to live with. And i'm falling again. |
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| What bliss is this? | ||||
| 12:24pm 06/02/2005 | ||||
Never knowing where she's going Into the arms of those who use her Never turning back , she continues as they lurk her. They dig her grave, she always lets them. She bleeds and i watch her... Each kiss taken from her; the deeper the grave she can't escape. With each spin she sees someone new; All they see is someone to abuse. She bleeds and i watch her. She does it all to try to feel. She needs it bad, but it's just not real. i watch her as she wastes away. She tries to fight but bleeds away. She falls down weeping to obey. Her red is gone and so are they. I watch her as she wastes away. My tears are yours, they always were. I wanted to help; you looked right through me. And now i fall upon me knees. And beg for your fogiveness... please. But i can't watch you as you dissapear. |
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intimidated|
jenixx |
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