Jessie's Blurty
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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Jessie's Blurty:

    Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
    12:47 am
    my extensive horoscope at 1 in the am
    You're a tiny bit proud and perhaps a little bit stubborn. When you're under stress, you get dramatic.
    No matter what your class, there is something regal and aristocratic about you and your bearing. You are status conscious and hunger for prestige and social privilege. You want to be recognized as someone special. When you become confident, you will become an effective leader.
    For you to get past your limits, you need to work to create a fair balance between your individual needs and your needs to be part of a couple. Your personal successes and the amount of pleasure you are allowed from intimacy are ruthlessly correlated to your integrity.
    Write the affirmation "Nothing is permanent or pervasive. Everything appears to pass and to change. I go with the flow. I create the change." 7 times a day for 7 weeks.
    Fate has arranged for you to experience some catharsis, trauma and transformation through partnerships and marriage. Find a proper balance between yourself and your significant other. When you get into therapy or analysis, a good place to start would be your partnership issues.

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: none i'm too tired
    Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003
    11:14 pm
    my most interesting day yet.
    let's see.....went to class at 10. nothing to say there. then lunch. tuna fish and chips. presentation. alzheimers. blah. we thought it would be great to forget where we were and what to say in the middle of the oral report. but thought better of it, my professor has no sense of humor. had wendy's. bad girl. got back to study, but painted my toenails pink instead. did some gossiping. got pissed at a suitemate. she made me feel like an ignorant white asshole. ummmm and now trying to study social psych. obsessing to get a 100 when i know it's impossible..

    also deciding what to do with the boy. i wish things didn't have to be so hard! honestly, i'm missing him. i'm just so tired. trying is such a task for me. and do i miss him for the right reasons? i guess we'll all just have to wait and see. i could honestly see myself alone as an adult. is that selfish? should i just move away after school and write. i could be like silvia plath or something. how fun that would be. or maybe paint and be like frida, obsessed with my face......i'd obviously have to ditch the whole monkey motif. maybe i would put pigeon in every portrait. now that would be original.

    has anyone read solstice? now there's a book to read. if you have, i could be like the crazy painter and be a recluse. joyce carol there's a woman to be like.

    lymey much today?

    Current Mood: sore
    Current Music: jill sobule today
    12:19 am
    i really hate alzheimers
    this oral report is kicking my ass! i'm really stressed out about it. i think it's because my prozac has been missing for over a week now. i need my happy pills!

    i'm realizing how much lyme disease sucks ass too. my body is aching! and i have to keep up with everyone. i really wish that i could take the semester off. sleep in bed and watch jerry. but everyone knows that once you stop you can never start back up again.

    felt like crying some today. saw an old man at the nursing home with minor demensia and a bad blow to the head. he was so out of it, it was almost embarassing to talk to him in such a way that we did. this is a man who's probably raised a family and has lived through so much more than i can even comprehend. and here me and amanda are, talking to him as if he were 5. it made me question if this is the right major i'm in. by the time i left, i knew it was. for the pure fact that these people are treated so crappy half the time, they need some outlet. someone to listen. i thought of my grandparents too. they're getting old.

    as i read that last paragraph, i can almost feel the lameness seeping into my eyeballs.

    on a much happier note, I CAN'T WAIT for fall. yay for sweaters and tea and leaves and cinnamon and apples and real shoes and dark hair. I want to be inspired with the upcoming weather enough to oil paint. it's so expensive, but i'm craving the smell, the canvas, the nature of it all. another goal is to really take a full day off and visit some galleries in boston. i need some friggin culture

    Current Mood: contemplative
    Current Music: a lil bit of bobby d today...
    Monday, September 22nd, 2003
    3:07 am
    first timer!
    This is quite exciting. i can't wait to be able to write something interesting in this!

    p.s insomnia is really no fun.

    Current Mood: restless
    Current Music: ani difranco