JAY_MURDA@BLURTY.COM .. july 30th 2003 - eternity <3
i love my babycakes <3

December 31st, 2003 @ 1:25a
[mood] tired
[music] Petey Pablo - "Freek-A-Leek"

wow. id say its been a long time since ive wrote in here!!!!! well aight newayz today (12*30*03) was mine and my baby's 5 months today has been the best. and today she got a package i sent her with a stuffed little puppy, a necklace, one of my caps, bunch of letters and drawings and also a candle i sent for her mom. and i got her package too a few days ago so its been pretty cool. and anyways though um im not quite sure what else to write in here. my xmas was good. lifes been treating me good. cept now its going alittle downhill because my sons mom is diagnosed with cancer and they estimate shes gonna live 6 months. my sons birthday is in july. i dont think shes gonna make it to see it. so this sucks really bad because then im gonna be a single parent. ive raised my kid but never on my own so its gonna be a little hard if she doesnt make it thru this whole ordeal. but my mom is behind me 100% and is gonna help me take care of my kid since she does have experience in that field. my sons mom is rich and what not and she said in her Will, im entitled to half of all of her money as to help support my son and myself, my son mostly ofcourse since im the father of her kid and she has basically no other family. the rest of her things are going to her sister. the cancer she has is the same her mom died of. although i cannot remember what its called its something that can only be passed from a mother to her daughter. a mother cannot pass it to her son although i want to get my son tested just in case. and anyways i guess its gonna be alittle hard on me too because she wsa my first love and shes the mother of my child. ill make it thru as long as i have my wifey next to me and the rest of my family to support me i will get thru it all good. ill be ok. i just dont know how my sons gonna take it if she does pass and the way i take it depends on the way he takes it too. cause i cant see my son hurting that much. its gonna kill me. And anyways though i guess this is all i can write for now. sorry everyone for not updating in so long. hit me up sometime. peace


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September 23rd, 2003 @ 4:02p
[mood] chillen
[music] snoop dog, dr dre - "next episode"

aight some things i said in the last entry was false information because its what my brother told me but he wasnt right lol.. the party that happened saturday was for my cousins michelle,michael (<~twins) and elsa.. theyre all siblings and the party was for their birthdays, it was really fun. out of everyone there i danced the most and that night n the next day i was so sore. it ended up raining like almost all day saturday but its all good. i danced to most the rap spanish and i danced to country for the first time cause aight the song came on, i forgot what song it was but it came on and i was like "i love that song!" cause i do like a love a lot of country.. and my aunt did to cause she started singin it and so did i and then she was like lets go dance and i was like i never dance to country and she grabbed my hand and was like cmon so i had my friend christina hold my beer and i was like noo i dont wanna dance right now but my aunt was steadly draggin me so she taught me how to dance to it and i caught on pretty quick but im tellin u right now i prolly need to be retaught because lol i got so messed up saturday night i jus wouldn't remember. the bunny hop came on twice and so did the cha cha slide.. at first i was in back of the place when the bunny hop came on and i was headin toward the dance floor so i could dance to it and my cousin jericka was dancin and then a few of my lil cousins were dancin to it too but they didnt know how to do it only jericka did, then i got up there and i know how to do it and jericka wasnt that good at it so she was lookin at me how to do it then a few of my aunts and my dad came up watchin me, tryna do it so it was cool, for a few minutes i was the center of attention lol.. my dad only was tryn to do it for like 30 seconds he laughed it off cause he couldnt n he went bac to da side and he goes "GET IT TWIN, GET IT!" cause he calls me twin, and yeah it was funny and then doin the cha cha slide.. me and my uncle dennis were the only males out there dancin to it so when the part came "hands on ya knees" it was funny cus we were the only 2 white boys shakin our asses good lol it was funny tho cause my aunt was like "yall r shakin yalls asses better then us MEXICAN females" it was tight tho and then when the song goes 'how low can ya go" man.. i aint went that low ina long ass time.. bout 8 or 9 somethin i went outside and smoked wit a few of my cousins and then my uncle dennis came over so i didnt finish smokin wit them and then i went bac inside but after it was all over, everyone went to my dads and some ppl almost got ina fight n what not but i had left with my cousin ashley and from the place and went to a square house which was jacobs cousins house (jacob is my other cousins bf) and i hadda run up there and get him so we could leave, we dropped him off here cus my cousin lives upstairs from me n then me and ashley went to taqueria to go and eat and it was coo cause we saw sum ppl we knew n they were throwed too lol but ashley wasnt throwed only me, she was drivin so lol but naw neways and then after that we came back home and went up to my cousins apartment and i smoked wit jacob and then i SOMEHOW made my way down them stairs ... i was so messed up ... cause me n jacob was chargin each other n chargin gets u more throwed fo real tho lol and then so i walked inside around 1245 or somethin and i laid down not to long after that but i think i fell asleep for a while? i'm not quite sure lol.. but all i kno is that i woke up some time around 3 somethin i think and then i was so fuckin sore dood, im talkin bout feet,ankles,calves,thighs,where ur arm bends(elbow whateva) and my biceps too and my neck and i was like how did i hurt my biceps lol but i mean when i came home my ankles were lil swollen i noticed kinda and then i ended up puttin a ice pack on my ankles n knees n shit and i know around 5 somethin i fell asleep and a few hours later i woke up and put the icepack up but i was still half asleep n i went bac in my room and passed back out cause i felt better by then and then my mom wakes me up around 12 n it made me mad lol but it was all good cus i didnt wake up wit no hangover. one reason i was also sore saturday night tho was cause friday night i got hit by a car, it wasnt nuthen bad i mean i think i have a broken finger but i'll live. anyways tho ima go take sum tylenol or somethin fo right now n i holla bac at this lata on
~i love you ash


September 17th, 2003 @ 3:24p
[mood] bored
[music] Keith Sweat (cd wit "nobody" on it, whole cd is runnin)

sup everyone, shit nuthen my way. jus chillen ya know? i jus got home from work and i called my baby =) only talked for a few minutes tho because she has a dr's appointment but it will be over with soon so i can call her back. our conversation we had yesterday and the day b4 was the greatest lol. we were talking about our future together and what not. and monday talking on the phone i asked her to marry me, so we're engaged now. =) i'm loving it. i talked to her mom for a long time on the phone yesterday well it was the longest so far but it wasnt that long lol Anyways tho it was cool. i'm really bored right now tho. my tongue is killing me cause somehow i cut it. it was a deep cut tho cause i mean the shit really hurts, i've never had a cut like this b4. it's healing up tho the best it can. i just wish it would hurry and finish healing cause it's causing me not to eat right. i know not eating like usual has been doing me some good but i be hungrier than a bitch lol fo real tho. Anyway all i'm doin this week is workin and chillen like usual durin the week but this weekend they're throwing a big party at this place for my aunt. shes actually a twin but her twin (aunt rosanna aka aunt babe) is across the seas in germany cause her husband is in the army and that's where theyre stationed. so theyre throwing the party for my aunt rosanne. it's gonna be really fun. big get together. bunch of mexicans. so u know theres gonna be a lot of beer lmao cause like everyone in my family drinks, a lot. so i know its gonna be tight tho. im plannin on smokin b4 i go and after wards. its gonna start around 5 and we'll prolly have to be out there around 11 and end up going to my dads to party afterwards, just like my dads wedding cause its the same place my dad got married. it's gonna be cool tho for real cause i love dancing to spanish music n stuff and i know theyre gonna have a tight dj playin spanish, rap, everything. i'm gonna be out there dancing to it all cuz i jus don't care and love dancing lol. and i dance good, so why not? No, i'm not conceited either, jus sure of myself lol. Nah but thas prolly the only thing i'm doin this weekend, i haven't heard about any type of plans for friday but somethin will come up i'm sure..prolly go to my dads and drink like usual.. it's gonna be a tight weekend like usual tho fo real i can already tell. But nah i'ma go ahead and end this shit and i'ma try and eat alil somethin somethin and then wait round fo while til i can call my baby back.peace out ppl
i love you ash <333

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September 12th, 2003 @ 3:32p
[mood] okay
[music] ying yang twins and lil jon (mixed cd wit bunch of them)

HEEYYYY sup everyone? shit nuthen my way. i know i aint updated ina while i guess.. but i jus been chillen ya kno? aint nuthen really excitin been goin down i mean its been jus the same as usual i been hangin at my dads house n shit been gettin drunk and what not. been havin me some fun no doubt. and its tight cause i still call my girl from my dads house. even if we dont get to talk that long i be callin her just to holla and tell her i love her, so is all good. this past weekend was off tha hook no doubt. got drunk friday night and then saturday we bbqed and partied again cause sunday was my cousins bday so it was tight but sat night we ran outa beer faster cause we had more ppl over and less money goin around lol so by the time my cousin and danny got back home wit sum more beer, i had already sobered up for the most part and was ready to split. so i came back home and when i was pullin in the parking lot of the apartments, i saw my cousin leave and so i called her on her cell when i got in my house and i was like whos wit u and she was like jacob which is my other cousin ericas bf and neways they were at jacobs cousin gettin a sweet cause his cousin sells so i was like hey fire a nigga up fo real tho and so they came by my house b4 goin upstairs to ericas house and we smoked that bitch .. man fo real i was blowed out my mind and i didnt even realize that night that i slept wit pants on instead of jus in my boxers like usual.. and then i woke up at 7 somethin cus i hada pee and went bac to bed.. woke up 11 somethin n peed and i still hadnt noticed i slept wit my pants on. i didnt notice that shit til bout 12 or 1 that mornin lol it was crazy cause i jus looked down and was ina trance then when i snapped out of it i was like whoa wait a min lol it was crazy but na neways tonight im prolly gonna go and get my lip peirced im thinkin bout it cause i want it fo real tho and na neways ill prolly chill n stay at my dads tonight and drink there n shit and then saturday night im goin bowling wit my mama and her man and his nephew cause he promised hed take me and his nephew so we goin tomorrow night so i think its gonna be off the hook fo real tho. sunday ill prolly jus chill at home all day but shit i dunno. i know i need to make a special trip to tha mall or SOMEWHERE fo my babyy. im givin her a promise ring, i love you ash =P.. im jus givin her that cause i gotta send that shit by mail so ima get her a cheap one but make it look good still tho lol and then when i go to her house ima bring her an expensive nice ass ring fo real i got this shit planned and then soon after that ima ask her to marry me, give her a big engagement ring and go even more out for a wedding ring. ima marry that girl and shes gonna have my kids. no doubt, im gonna grow old wit ash.and i know i lived a crazy life and shit happens and i jus wish fo god to protect me so i can meet ash and marry her and really grow old wit her. i wish god would look over me and ash and see to it that we end up together forever. cause i cant see it any other way u feel me. neways tho im bout to jet cause i wanna go buy some flowers and go put them on my cousins grave but i might wait til later on and go wit my mom.
happy bday to my cousin DIANA i love you cousin.
today is 2 years that my cousin jared has been deceased. we miss you still big time man. your FOREVER in our hearts dood no doubt i love you man.

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September 3rd, 2003 @ 7:15a
[mood] sleepy
[music] Trapt - "Headstrong"

yeah yeah. comment me if you want? lol.